jakebrann Reviews

Life & Beth (2022– )

Yeah... No! Just Hell No!

[2/10 · 17 February 2024]

I couldn't even make it halfway through the first episode because it was just that horrible. The acting is absolute crap and any attempt at humor just fell horribly flat and didn't hit. All these high star reviews are obviously coming from employees, friends, or family who had anything to do with the production of this series! There is no way this is a 6.7! It just flat out sucks. Not that much can be expected when you cast Amy Schumer as the lead! When has she ever been funny? If this series is good for anything it's just putting you right to sleep! Hated the 20 minutes of it that I forced myself to watch, hoping that somehow someway it was going to start being funny or enjoyable. Nope!

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2024– )

ZERO chemistry between these 2! Shows Sucks!

[1/10 · 5 February 2024]

There isn't an ounce of chemistry between these two idiots! They're boring, the show is super slow, the action is pretty much garbage. We tried to watch a few episodes and we both just nod off or start playing on our phones!

Him wanting to have a baby is just absolutely ridiculous! Who the hell would bring a child into their chaotic dangerous lives? We just can't get past how horrible their chemistry is together. Well, better yet, lack of chemistry! It isn't believable for one minute. After a few episodes we can't stand either of these actors and just hate the show. Not recommended to watch or waste your time on... it sucks and all the fake 8-10 stars reviews are just from people involved with the show. No one could possible find this that entertaining!

The Witcher (2019– )

Last 3 episodes are straight $hit!

[2/10 · 4 August 2023]

Holy $hit the last 3 episodes of season 3 are some of the worst episodes in a series that I have ever seen! Episode 7 is nothing but Ciri lost in the desert, hallucinating and running around screaming. Worst episode of anything I have ever seen! We literally just started fast forwarding to see if there was going to be any action or anything interesting. How the hell is this series called The Witcher when the Witcher does the least and gets the least amount of screen time!? Cavill is right to call it quits with this declining garbage of a series! Of course, the men are now all sissies and the women are all the leaders and tough ones. It's straight up BS and just the norm in film making now. Make all the men look weak and stupid, and all of the women are so smart and tough! Let me know the next time we go to war and send a bunch of women... I won't be watching any more of this lame series when it comes back for season four.

Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill (2022 TV Special)

2 for Bill Burr only!

[2/10 · 28 July 2022]

Pass on this flop of cringe trash!

Holy $hit this was just awful and so completely unfunny! What were they thinking with these acts? As usual, not a single funny woman comedian. They were cringe and just awful.

There wasn't a single comedian on here that made me laugh. Audience didn't laugh much either.

Bill... you're better than this! Much better!

Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022)

Well... it wasn't any good!

[3/10 · 20 July 2022]

I never fall asleep in movies but did twice during this one. None of our kids found it very funny or entertaining other than our 7 year old and he said it's pretty good. Wasn't anywhere near as funny as I thought it would be. Felt like they were trying too hard and that never works out.

Wait till it's on video and don't spend the money in the theater. Wasn't worth it and the crowd at all. GF and I just looked at each other walking out and simultaneously said, "well that was pretty awful!"

Pirate Gold of Adak Island (2022– )

30 mins in you can tell...

[2/10 · 5 July 2022]

Literally 30 minutes into the first episode and I can tell it's complete garbage with a bunch of fake acting. You can already tell every episode is going to end with "I think I found something" and then it will cut away only to find out it was nothing. The first episode the two guys go into the building that is completely trashed and in a drawer just so happen to find a map of the area showing all the buildings. Yeah right! I'm not giving this show one more minute of my time.

Don't waste any of yours on this garbage!

The Terminal List (2022– )

Wow! A Show Deserving a 10!

[10/10 · 4 July 2022]

This series is absolutely outstanding. I was weary and critical when I saw the 8.2 rating but after watching the whole series it deserves a 10 to me. He isn't swayed in his hunt to kill everyone that served his Seal team up on a platter and killed his wife/daughter. I kept waiting for him to see the light and stop killing which would have been awful. He never did. Killed em all! I love this show. Well done Fuqua!

Amazing series!

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)

Good God! So dark throughout!

[3/10 · 31 May 2022]

Just like Outer Range... You know what would be awesome? If 3/4 of this movie wasn't so f'n dark you can't even tell what's going on! By 11 minutes in when the dragon was having babies I didn't see any of it because it was so dark. What is up with all these TV shows and movies being so lazy filming everything so dark where you can't see anything? Maybe it was great... maybe it sucks? I can't tell! No lights on in my house either. My TV graphic settings are set to "Cinema"... it's not my TV.

Most Dangerous Game (2020–2023)

Yeah he isn't a runner!

[2/10 · 28 May 2022]

OK this movie is just stupid. I'm trying to watch it now literally every time he takes off running I can't help but wonder who in the hell runs like that? Dead giveaway that he in fact is no runner! He looks ridiculous. This movie is hard to watch with all the stupid things that people are doing and how he just so happens to get away each time. Right now he's sitting in the confession booth at the church telling the preacher $hit he isn't supposed to be saying!

Pass on this movie!

Best of Stand-Up 2020 (2020 TV Special)

Wow! We're in trouble if this is the best!

[1/10 · 28 May 2022]

I don't know if one single comedian skit on here was funny. I don't know how these people in the audience are laughing cuz it's not funny at all. Didn't laugh once nor did I finish it. It may have been immediately better if they left off every single female comedian. Not one of them was even almost funny. This is just terrible and if it's the best offered from 2020 comedian wise, we are in a lot of trouble!

Pass on this garbage!

War of the Worlds (2005)

Holy $hit this is bad!

[3/10 · 21 May 2022]

I'm just barely watching this in 2022 and oh my God it's horrible! Tom Cruise sucks in this and his two kids are just awful annoying characters! Robbie the rebellious teen you want gone and Fanning screams and cries the whole time. Horribly annoying. Of course they do the dumbest things and it doesn't get any better as it goes on. I wish I hadn't wasted two hours on this.

Good Girls (2018–2021)

Started well... fizzled quick! REAL QUICK!

[3/10 · 20 May 2022]

I thought the girlfriend and I had found a new series to binge watch. Got through season one but by the end it's more frustrating and irritating than entertaining! These women consistently do the dumbest $hit, learn nothing and don't do themselves any favors. They've become very annoying.

The super high rating on here is highly exaggerated. I don't even know how they got four seasons out of this repetitive mess because there is no chance these women would have survived this long in the real world, living this crime life and dealing with gangs and killers. They would have been killed off along time ago for all the mistakes they made. It just isn't funny or entertaining. Do yourself a favor and don't start watching this.

I'm sitting here watching S2 and I think I now hate this show! On top of all the stupid $hit it really tries to be woke and it's filled with all kinds of virtue signaling bull$hit.

The Guardian (I) (2006)

Glad I missed this for 16 years! Kutcher 👎🏽

[3/10 · 15 May 2022]

Holy $hit Ashton Kutcher is just a horrible actor. He isn't the least bit believable as a tough guy military man. He isn't even believable as the "leader" of all the candidates in this coast guard program. His lines are cringeworthy and cheesy. Trying to pull off a smooth Tom Cruise and he just isn't the guy for that.

Kevin Costner is great as always. He can carry a movie, Kutcher can't even as the lost puppy. He makes the stupidest faces. Can't stand the guy on every level.

The movie is predictable and been done so many times before.

Costner is a strict instructor who kicks people out of the program for the smallest f up but yet AK stays out late with a woman, misses morning training and all he gets is yelled at and extra exercise. Wasn't consistent.

This could have been great with some different supporting cast members.

Something Bit Me (2022– )

Became difficult to keep watching...

[5/10 · 14 May 2022]

I don't know exactly what it is but the episodes are really drawn out and if you watch them back to back a lot of the people are attacked by the same animal and you have the same researchers and animal experts in different episodes saying the exact same thing you already heard them say in the other one. The stories could literally be over in five minutes each but they have to drag them out to make an episode and that gets a little repetitive and boring. Maybe just don't binge watch the season. I would have liked to see more video or photos of the real peoples actual injuries.

Felony (2013)

Holy $hit what a waste of time!

[3/10 · 13 May 2022]

This has to be one of the dumbest movies from start to finish that I have ever seen! The whole movie is just a big waste of time with some great actors. I kept watching waiting for there to be some exciting part, a twist, anything but it was just boring and pointless. What a waste of time and waste of some great actors. Becomes irritating to watch and then it just ends... thankfully!

The Capture of the Green River Killer (2008)

Horrible acting!

[5/10 · 13 May 2022]

Other than the acting being horrible! It was really annoying how much they try to make this seem like some kind of Lifetime Christian movie where they kept bringing God up. Asking why he lets these things happen to people blah blah... not sure why the movie was made this way. Also, the soundtrack was cheesy and horrible.

Hold Tight (2022)

No wonder Netflix is losing!

[2/10 · 28 April 2022]

We all know that you just put whatever you want as the top 10 and it isn't actually based off viewing! There is no chance in hell that this show is being watched by that many people as it is complete trash and just jumps all over the place. The acting sucks and it doesn't make much sense. Never mind the fact that they are always getting text messages and showing the phone but no translation for what's being said!

Netflix just keeps putting out $hit shows. I don't remember the last time I saw anything original and good on Netflix and it wouldn't hurt my feelings in the slightest if they keep losing money and go the way of the dinosaur!

Zoe (I) (2018)

Sooooo slow! Soooo boring!

[2/10 · 22 April 2022]

Yeah this movie just flat out sucks! It's very slow, very confusing and I got distracted in 15 mins and started playing on my phone. There really wasn't anything interesting or entertaining about this stupid movie. Watch something else...

Outer Range (2022– )

5 Just for Brolin! Turn on a f'n light!

[5/10 · 17 April 2022]

Would it have killed them to turn on a damn light? Whose bright (pun intended) idea was it to film this so f#ckin dark you can't see anything? I thought it was my TV and that it needed to be adjusted but it isn't and it's 100% the show. I don't for a second understand why they thought this was a good idea. Viewers hate this as pointed out by several reviews so far. It's terrible but the show seems kind of interesting.

I'm at the scene where the guys dumb little daughter won't stop asking for water while he's at the front door dealing with some $hit and it's $hit like this that really pisses me off as she's been told to go back to bed five times!

Then the two guys at the door asking the homeowner where his brother is, he says he doesn't know and then the visitor says "well his truck isn't here! Well no $hit that probably means he isn't there! Just lots of little annoying things about the show!

Let Him Go (2020)

Too much talkin! 2 stars are useless!

[4/10 · 17 April 2022]

This movie is very slow. Then it gets really irritating that Costner's character is an ex law-enforcement officer of 30 years and yet he seems to have no clue what to do with a handgun! I've seen two or three times now him get it knocked out of his hand and attacked by the bad guys... Very irritating to watch! He is literally holding the gun pointing at the bad guys and then let's them charge him without shooting any of them! The movie is about the grandparents getting the kids back and they are literally morons. Costner's character does absolutely nothing in this movie.

The Gilded Age (2022– )

Holy hell it's bad!

[1/10 · 15 April 2022]

Are they kidding right now with this 8 star rating? I made it exactly 21 minutes into the first episode and couldn't take any more of the horrible acting. The woman gets her purse stolen at the train station and does absolutely nothing, doesn't yell out that her purse was just stolen, quietly sits there and cries when it literally happened 10 seconds before? Forget this one! Seriously though the acting is so bad and phony.

Mindhunter (2017–2019)

Sooooo f'n slow!

[4/10 · 12 April 2022]

8.6 rating on here is absolutely not possible! Gotta be ratings from friends/family and people involved with the making of this series!

The first episode starts out OK but then this $hit just drags on and on. It is so slow paced and most of the actors in this are really annoying and don't seem to be able to act to save their lives. My girlfriend didn't make it through the first episode before turning to me and saying "holy hell this is terrible and the acting is so bad. Do we have to keep watching?" The main actor guy is given all this credit for being so good but yet you never see him do anything and he really seems like a huge pu$$y. I've let it play as background noise and that's bad enough. The main woman, Dr. Carr is really obnoxious, acts like she knows everything and has a serious case of RBF. I don't know that this could be recommended to anyone...

Jimmy Savile: A British Horror Story (2022)

He told on himself the whole time!

[6/10 · 12 April 2022]

Since we know what a piece of $hit this guy was, watching this he constantly tells the truth about himself... that he is not a good person, does evil things and said a lot of really weird and inappropriate things to women and girls.

Basically incriminated himself the whole time! Not sure how no one picked up on this a whole lot earlier. Too bad this guy didn't get what was coming to him! What a disappointing end! What a creep.

The Healer (IV) (2016)

Are you kidding me?

[3/10 · 7 April 2022]

How in the world does this have a 6.3 rating? This is hands-down some of the worst acting I have ever seen! Worse than a lifetime movie! This is just awful. I made it about 15 minutes before I couldn't take it anymore. Pass on this one.

Morbius (2022)

Rushed and over before it got goin!

[3/10 · 6 April 2022]

I read the reviews and was warned before going to see this last night but tried to keep an open mind and wanted to see it anyway. I get now what all the reviews were ranting about. This movie is pretty bad and then all of a sudden over right when it seems to get going! Morbius and Milo are lifelong best friends and within seconds hate and turn on each other, trying to kill one another? Morbius all of a sudden snaps because his friend also took the serum and that was all it took? Things like that just made no sense and were so rushed. I don't know what they were thinking with this movie but it just wasn't done well, the CGI isn't great but it's not terrible either. I don't have any desire to see this again or even a follow up. The two scenes they throw in during the end credits did nothing for me as well, created no excitement and had me lost for a minute.

Probably worth the watch but this is far from the good movie.