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colindrayton
Reviews
Cobra Kai (2018)
Great action, complexity and emotion
Cobra Kai's made me appreciate feet more. I used to think people's feet were disgusting overly sweaty and smelly things but due to the good foot hygiene of the Cobra Kai characters and the way Kreese said to Terry Silver in Season 4 'that's what I'm talking about' when Terry took off his shoes on the Cobra Kai dojo mat, changed my perception of feet as if my childhood idol John Kreese thinks feet are badass then I guess they are badass. I used to have a phobia of people's bare feet being near me so I was afraid of beaches and dojo' but I don't have that phobia anymore thanks to John Kreese, the characters good foot hygiene and my love for Cobra Kai. Foot first, foot hard, no mercy.
The acting is top notch and the series ties in so well with the original Karate Kid movies. John Kreese is my favourite character ever, I believe in the Cobra Kai philosophy almost as well as he does.
The Godfather (1972)
This film is a bad influence on people
Money or materialism is the embodiment of human greed and the way the gangsters go about their lives, breaking laws and committing barbaric animalistic acts of terror just for money is a poor cultural showcase to people around the world. I give it a 3 out of 10 as the characters at least dress well and have some sense of professionalism though twisted as it is.
The plot is actually quite simple and basic for a movie with such a high rating, there's a few thought provoking lines but other than that it's just the case of lawless organisations pitted against each other for the sake of money so if a mindless violent movie obsessing over money obsessed gangs is your thing then go for it and cheer your heart out for the amounts of money the rich mafia firms you imagine stole or received.
The Machinist (2004)
Breathtaking masterpiece
This makes me cry tears of great mirth every time I watch it. I can relate strongly with Trevor in regards to kinda wanting to stay awake, have a caffeine and tobacco addiction as well as the feeling that I'm having hallucinations and losing my sense of reality.
The film features great vehicles like a 1969 Pontiac Firebird which always makes me wish I had one like that which brings me great hope, comfort and ambition for the future. Trevor still living a reasonably happy life before the Ivan hallucinations started happening makes my personal dread of getting insomnia at relative ease cause if Trevor can do it then I certainly can.
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
A film that is part of Star Wars canon and therefore must be respected
This film is part of the beloved Star Wars canon and was made by professionals employed by a competent and successful organisation known as Disney and spent millions of hard-earned dollars to make this film great so this film has to be respected. It may not be for everyone but people can't just dismiss it as non-canon when it was made by professionals who clearly love the Star Wars franchise, otherwise it just gets silly to the point everyone is dismissing each other's points due to pretending everything they don't like or didn't prefer isn't canon.
Moving on, I know there's some criticism regarding Rey in this film with many people saying she's a Mary Sue and too overpowered for it to make sense. However I strongly disagree with this. I think Rey was already skilled with a lightsaber in Force Awakens because of her ability she displayed with her staff so obviously some training with her staff made her more skilled at lightsaber combat. It's canon that non-force users such as Mandalorians and Chirrut Imwe from Rogue One are pretty much just as powerful as Jedi or Sith Lords so to me it made sense that Rey was that powerful.
I also believe Kylo Ren in Force Awakens and Last Jedi was nearly as powerful as ROTS Anakin and more powerful than Mace Windu, Obi-Wan and Darth Maul because Kylo displayed a force ability NO OTHER force user has been shown doing and that's stopping a blaster bolt in mid-air which must of required power and that has to be respected. Therefore bearing this in mind Rey was nearly as powerful as Kylo Ren in Force Awakens and Last Jedi due to their close duel in Force Awakens so therefore that justifies Rey beating Luke Skywalker in close combat in this film as I believe Rey was more powerful than Luke in Last Jedi and she had good reason to be more powerful than him.
Luke nearly killing his nephew also made total sense to me as I think Luke sensed the dark side in Kylo and the dark side feeling he got didn't remind him of Vader but reminded him of Palpatine. So he panicked and made a mistake of letting his lightsaber be displayed for too long, at the end of the day he's a human so he's allowed to make mistakes.
So taking this into account, I liked Last Jedi and it made perfect sense. I think the special effects were jaw-droppingly beautiful and an amazing sight to behold. I'm a big fan of the emotional weight of the acting and the positioning of the high tech camera during the film's juicy scenes was fantastic and highly professional. My only real criticisms was the space battle was too long and I didn't like Rose much, but if they were fixed then this would be a 10/10 for me.
Coolie No.1 (2020)
It's a sad reality
This film highlights the shocking greed and selfishness of millionaires which causes hard working ordinary people to have heart attacks due to their envy of millionaires easily won money. I was very impressed with the social distancing and fear of Covid in this film from the characters, the characters should've had plastic bubblewrap covering nearly 100% of their filthy disgusting bodies though. This film clearly shows that the characters were controlled by God and I love that SO MUCH!
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
A ugly disgusting film with MANY flaws
When I watch a film, I don't care about the story or the characters because no character or story has ever interested me. Instead I focus on the things that matter like the acting, special effects, the scenery and the cuisine. There's a lot of things that can go wrong with those 4 things, I always award a film 10/10 if they get all those 4 things PERFECT. But this film was a disaster, the acting was unrealistic, made me depressed to the point I cried with all that unnecessary emotional weight in the acting as well as making me wet myself with fury. The special effects looked like they came out of the Middle Ages, the scenery was bland, overly American, too modern and too dark for my taste. The cuisine was terrible, it made me sick when Hannibal drank red wine because it looked like blood and he drank it like it was human blood.
The actresses were very sexy though, I couldn't see many flaws to complain about in the actresses but there was too many males so I couldn't get aroused constantly due to the lack of women in this film. I would prefer if this film was about an English woman hoovering up a carpet and debating about whether it was evil of her to kill all those insects that were bound to of been killed by her hoover, whilst she eats a roast dinner with the film camera constantly zooming in on the roast dinner all the time. That would've been the perfect film for me, this disaster of a movie doesn't even come close to that level of greatness and sophistication.
Le souffle au coeur (1971)
Great film to watch with your mother
You'll love watching this film with your mother as the film goes deep into the mother son relationship and the film will make you question and deeply think about what you should and shouldn't be doing with your mother. I highly recommend this film to young men like myself to watch it with their mother, my mum loves me even more as a sweet result of watching this very sexy movie and my sperm cry out for some soothing motherly affection every time I watch this masterpiece of a movie. I was a bit disappointed with the sex scene at the end though, I the ending sex video would be more like an adult sex video but this film is still totally worth watching.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Hobbits are my role models
I never wear anything on my feet even when I'm walking on muddy soil, dirty rotten floors and wet sand so this made me smile so much when witnessing that Sam and Frodo never wore shoes or socks. I also always crouch down when I'm standing up all the time so I never exceed more than 4 feet in height even though I'm really 5'10 if I stand all the way up.
I do that because I love being short and being a child's height as it makes me feel more childish, adventurous and gives me more of an excuse to be babied so extensively by my family and friends, just like Frodo was constantly babied by Gandalf I too live my life like I'm a toddler grasping for the milk from my mother's breast like an adorable little baby and the hobbits in this film really made me conclude that other people live their life as a baby the entire time too which is fantastic and doesn't make me feel so strange.
Titanic (1997)
Kate Winslet is an angel if there ever was one
When the song 'Heart Will Go On' came on during this film all I could think about was Kate Winslet's breasts jiggling all over the place, hence 'her heart underneath those breasts going on'. I also like the positive outlook this film has on betting which makes me more comfortable with my gambling and Kate Winslet also looks a lot like my sister so that made Kate all the more sexy for my sausage and love balls.
1917 (2019)
Should be advertised that it'll make left-wingers mad
My annoying wife is an annoying lefty who hates Imperialism and all decades before 1990's with a passion, this film caused me to go through a lot of annoying nagging and groaning from my wife which has made me so angry. My wife also grew very fearful of moustaches after watching this film as she now associates moustaches with 'toxic masculinity' and Imperialism so she threatened to divorce me if I didn't shave my moustache off so I had to do that which has also annoyed me a lot.
Except for the nuisance from my nutcase of a wife though I thoroughly enjoyed this film, just don't watch it with a left-wing extremist.
Creep (2004)
The best Britain has to offer
I'm stunned that this film hasn't been given formal positive recognition by the Queen and isn't considered a national UK treasure. It really made a filthy lazy person such as myself very comfortable with not washing myself hardly ever as one of the main characters was absolutely fine having poor hygiene. This film made me feel so at ease with my hygiene for that reason and I found Craig's babyish screams very cute. Lovely looking scenery in the film as well which really did make me want to be more smelly so it was a positive motivational result to watch this film by my standards.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
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I felt the comedy was lacking in this, the comedy felt rushed and forced, the humour was bland and boring. I like to feel like I'm being a naughty boy when I'm watching a film but this film failed to give me that great mischievous feeling as the Rise of Skywalker was far too suitable for children and too normal a movie. There was also a lack of sexy Female bum cheeks being onscreen in this movie so I found that very upsetting. The characters were simple minded, the dialogue was sometimes repetitive and the dialogue focused far too much on relatively boring things such as basic questions about their own day to day survival that we all go through as Human beings, I don't want to sit through a film about the characters talking about what they're going to have to eat tomorrow!
I wanted Luke to go back in time and have sex with Padme, unfortunately there was nothing like that in this film so if you're a mischievous, want your Mother to tell you you're a naughty boy. then you'll probably dislike this film.