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woodlandknitter
Reviews
The Isle (2018)
Visually beautiful, proper story
This truly surprised me. The setting was utterly stunning, well acted and the score was lovely.
Felt more like a traditional folklore tale, a story of ghosts and witches without unneeded effects and bling. Very atmospheric. More of a story from an old weathered book rather than a Hollywood horror, and all the better for it.
The Merry Gentleman (2008)
Underrated
Not quite a thriller, not quite a comedy nor romance but a blend of each. And the better for it.
I didn't find this film slow as so many reviews say, just subtle. It wasn't action packed or scary but let you see the killer as a person, and a kind one at that which made the ending surprisingly sad.
I'd not have expected chemistry between Keaton and MacDonald but they worked.
I didn't like the ending... It left me wanting more!!! One I'll watch again.
Aquaman (2018)
Obligatory mum watch
I'm not a comic adaption fan, but I have a teenage son.
I totally enjoyed the batman movies, the Toby Maguire Spider-Man and thought this looked pretty good from the trailer so agreed to sit through it.
But between the kerpow fight scenes and waaaaaay too much CGI it was just... dull. Meh. And the CGI was very, very poor.
I love the actor who plays Arthur's dad but even he didn't carry it.
The best bit was getting bored and looking up Moana comparison memes (Atlantis is shiiinyyyyyy).
Midsommar (2019)
Any interest in pagan folklore - avoid
I've been looking forward to this for months and I don't think I've ever been so disappointed
Visually it's beautiful with incredible artistry in props and set design but that's about the extent of it's merits.
Folklore and paganism/ practices are a huge passion so when runes started cropping up I thought there was going to be a fabulous film.
But oh my... what starts off as a direct rip off of The Wickerman (sadly with elements stolen even from the diabolical remake) just progresses through a series of clichés.
Oh. Aren't they clever, it's daylight, how shocking.
Oh, they're a pagan cult, there *must* be human sacrife.
Oh, the European in America is taking American friends to his village? They *must* be doomed.
Oh, the blonde American woman is in mortal peril but yay, she survives!
Yawn.
The gore was there for gore's sake to boost the age rating.
The obligatory semi orgy scene (because all pagan cults have orgies!) appeared.
The main characters were vile people, utterly no sympathy for their inevitable deaths.
The score was painful.
The whole shock reveal that everyone over 72 leaps to their own deaths fell apart in the last scenes when extras were obviously over that age...
And the drugs... boring!
Just an utter waste of 3 hours.
Groundbreaking and new? No. American rip off of cult classic with total lack of class or subtitles? Yes.
Such a shame, the premise had such potential.
Instead it just felt like a ''Swedish'' Amish type set up full of stereotypes and cliches.
Utterly unoriginal and predictable.
And the final scene and people burn alive (in a wooden hut rather than a wooden man) the facepalm moment when the lead looks up and smiles? Dude, you just put the cherry on the cake.
Stick to the Wickerman. It's got the cult status for a reason. That's why they just made yet another rip off.
Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
Practically IMperfect
An insult to the eyes, ears, books and original.
Weak and frankly pathetic characters. Typically modern disney there is no character development just painfully cringworthy character stereotypes.
No one would ever have compared to book Mary Poppins or Julie Andrews but really? This version is just... over acted and still bland.
Skip it and it's overdose of dodgy cgi. Pick up the book or original instead.
Vertical Limit (2000)
Don't bother
The amount of mistakes in this movie make it very hard to enjoy. Apparently India and China switched locations for it and the laws of physics ceased to exist. Just to point out a couple of the more subtle examples.
Sooo much went wrong that it just became ridiculous and even my 15 year old thought it was preposterous.
Could have been fun but coupled with appalling acting and weak, predictable characters it's simply not worth the watch.
Minotaur (2006)
The destruction of mythology
Myths and legends survive for a reason. This movie will not and managed to somehow make the minotaur ridiculous. If you want to be frightened of a minotaur, pick up a copy of the Greek myths.