beckyb219 Reviews

Neron (2016)

"I don't need a sentence completion service!"

[5/10 · 25 February 2024]

OMG this is one of the funniest movies I've seen in a long time. No matter that it's not a comedy. How could anyone one-star this? Are you not entertained? Look, if you enjoy so-bad-they're-good flicks like The Room and Troll 2, you will love this. It has everything a good bad movie needs: plot holes galore, laughable special effects, poor attempts at intentional comedy, stilted dialogue, and terrible, (mostly) no-name actors. The fact that Eric Roberts gives the best performance when he drops in to collect a paycheck tells you all you need to know. Also, wait until you see that evil baby!! Remember Gage from Pet Sematary? Wielding that scalpel like a cutie patootie? Yeah, he's no longer the least believable demonic movie child ever.

The Rental (2020)

A movie with an identity crisis

[5/10 · 7 August 2022]

The Rental was a decent drama for about the first hour or so, until it veered into a "let's cover up a crime" thriller, after which it almost immediately careened into some kind of attempt at horror.

This movie just leaves a ton of questions. And not the good, thought-provoking kind; just the trying-to-make-sense-of-all-the-plot-holes kind. Like, how long has this weird peeping Tom guy been operating this rental home? Is this group of people the first he's killed? If not, how have other killings in that home gone unnoticed/unreported? Or, did he only kill them because of what they did to his brother? Was Taylor really even his brother? Why did he finish him off? Are we to believe his own brother didn't know he was a creepy weirdo? Why did he wear the stupid mask when he watched and/or killed people? What was that point of hiding his real face at the end? Is that supposed to be some clever "you never know who you're renting from" commentary on the dangers of AirBnB and the like? WHY AM I TRYING TO FIGURE THIS DUMB MOVIE OUT?

I will say that I'm glad the dog didn't die. Thankfully, Dave Franco sidestepped that particular cliche.

Finding Magic Mike (2021)

Magical men

[9/10 · 31 January 2022]

I went into this show fully prepared for just some fun, mindless beefcake action but when I found myself actually crying for the first guy eliminated from the Top 10, I knew the show was more than that. Finding Magic Mike finds men bonding, not over sports or stereotypically male interests, but rather over shared insecurities, relationship issues, and goals/dreams. There's one meathead in the mix, but even he has his moments, and all of these guys seem to genuinely care about each other. They can compete without getting cutthroat. None of the usual "I didn't come here to make friends" drama that reality TV usually serves up. And then eliminations are handled better than I've ever seen on a show like this: with real care and encouragement, via private conversations. When anyone is voted off, the other guys react as if they're losing a brother and it's heartwarming to see. I'm just assuming that these guys are BFFs forever, and no one better ruin my fantasy! And that's not exactly the type of fantasy I would've ever thought this show would make me have. 😄

Malignant (I) (2021)

Decent "bad" movie

[6/10 · 13 September 2021]

I kind of wanted to hate this movie after seeing all the reviews from fanboys patting themselves on the back for "getting it." Congratulations, you "got" a movie with zero subtlety or depth! I mean, come on, it's obvious from the get-go that this is intended to be a campy, old school horror flick. My problem with it was that it wasn't campy ENOUGH. I feel like if you're going to go in that direction, really go for it. Unfortunately, the first two-thirds of the movie were kind of frustrating, as the movie attempted to weave in and out of genres, and seemed to take itself a little too seriously at times. I kept losing interest because, to me, the twist that they were building up to was obvious from the first 10 or 15 minutes of the movie. However, the way that twist was revealed in the final act was absolutely hilarious. The jailhouse scene had me cracking up and was by far the best part of the movie, and completely worth the price of admission. (Even though I saw it on HBO Max, so bonus for not having to pay admission!) The ending was a bit blah, complete with the requisite final shot hinting that "it ain't over," but I'm not sure how else it could've ended. All in all, it was an enjoyable diversion for a Sunday night.

The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)

Deer droppings

[1/10 · 22 August 2021]

The only mildly entertaining thing about this movie is listening to pretentious people twist themselves in knots trying to defend it. Oh, the acting is bad on purpose, you say? Brilliant! The story makes no sense because you're supposed to make sense of it on your own? Groundbreaking, and not at all lazy!

You Should Have Left (2020)

It's not that deep, and neither are you

[5/10 · 4 February 2021]

You have to love the reviews here that claim anyone who disliked this movie "doesn't get it" or "missed the point." People need to stop patting themselves on the back for having the capacity to "get" a pretty straightforward story. Nothing here is shocking. Anything meant to be a twist was obvious pretty early on. Kevin Bacon is enjoyable to watch as always, Amanda Seyfried is engaging, and the little girl is adorable. They made me want to like this movie. I was rooting for it to be better. Unfortunately, it just ended up being average and predictable.

The Vanished (2020)

Obvious Twist

[4/10 · 31 January 2021]

Like someone else mentioned, if you're paying attention to the first 10 minutes of the movie, the "big reveal" is pretty easy to predict. From there, this film kind of just drags on with Anne Heche and Thomas Jane getting away with ridiculous crap all in the name of finding their daughter.

The Vast of Night (2019)

Couldn't get past 10 minutes

[3/10 · 17 January 2021]

I feel a little bad for giving this three stars when I didn't watch the whole thing, but if a movie is so off-putting from the get-go, then that's a problem. I had really high hopes when it opened with an homage to The Twilight Zone, but once the action got underway, I couldn't understand a word the male lead was saying. And he was saying A LOT. I think there was some kind of power failure at the school gym? I don't know. The beginning of a movie should draw you in and make you want to see more, not make you feel like you've just walked in on a conversation no one wants you to be a part of.

They Came Together (2014)

Great parody of rom-coms

[8/10 · 8 March 2020]

I love Amy Poehler (Molly) and Paul Rudd (Joel), so I'm not sure how I missed this movie when it first came out. I almost didn't watch it when I saw it had really bad reviews on Amazon. Thankfully, IMDB members have better taste! This was so wonderfully stupid, with similar style and humor to Wet Hot American Summer (also written and directed by David Wain). There were a few bits that got old or were just over the top (Hello, Bubby) but it was mostly solid and I laughed the whole way through. I just wish that Ken Marino and Michael Ian Black had more screen time, as they were great as always in their bit roles. Bill Hader and Ellie Kemper were also very funny as the couple trying to follow Molly and Joel's story.

Don't Leave Home (2018)

Good premise executed poorly

[4/10 · 12 January 2020]

"Don't Leave Home" starts and ends well. Everything in between is a painfully boring mess. This story probably would've worked as a half hour Twilight Zone episode.

We Go On (2016)

We make stuff up as we go along...

[4/10 · 1 December 2019]

I can't believe this has so many good reviews. The premise had potential, but the movie turned into a mish-mash of ideas from other movies, a meandering plot and some terrible acting, particularly by the lead role.

Shuffle (2011)

Cliched but totally enjoyable

[7/10 · 6 October 2019]

I was expecting this to be a time travel thriller/mystery, but it ultimately turned out to be more of an "It's a Wonderful Life" kind of thing. And oddly enough, I wasn't disappointed when it headed in that direction. It definitely has its issues: needless melodrama, cliches all over the place, a twist that isn't too hard to figure out, and an ending that just seems superfluous. However, maybe I just watched this on the right day or something because I found myself sucked in by the sweetness of it. With all the bad stuff going on in the world every day, this movie was a nice little diversion that made me laugh and cry, and left me with a nice case of the warm fuzzies.

The Void (I) (2016)

Devoid of anything resembling a plot

[4/10 · 1 October 2019]

Late one night, a police officer takes a wounded man to a hospital staffed by a skeleton crew (natch) that includes the officer's estranged wife (double natch). Hooded cult members surround the hospital, one of the nurses turns out to be something not human, the halls get splattered with blood and tentacles, blah blah blah, etc. I appreciated the old school horror feel of this movie, and it started out fairly strong, but then just devolved into nonsense. I've never been a huge fan of alien movies, but I actually would've preferred aliens to whatever creatures this was supposed to be about. But because this movie falls into the "Lovecraftian horror" subgenre, that means that a bunch of insufferable nerds are somewhere out there waiting to tell me how I just didn't "get it."

Shelley (2016)

Compelling but confusing

[7/10 · 1 October 2019]

A Danish couple living in the middle of nowhere can't have children, so their maid Elena agrees to be their surrogate. Once pregnant, Elena starts deteriorating physically and mentally, and becomes convinced that the baby is evil. This is a tough one to grade because it really is well-filmed and acted, but the story is all build-up and no resolution. I like ambiguous endings, but there are TOO many questions left unasked and unanswered. Is it a straightforward "evil baby" horror flick? Is it some kind of science vs. nature allegory? I don't know. I did enjoy it, mostly thanks to the two female leads, but I'm still confused.

Beyond the Gates (2016)

The retro vibe helps, but can't save this very average film

[5/10 · 1 October 2019]

Two brothers discover that their father's disappearance is tied to a creepy VHS game. I was originally going to give this a lower score, but I bumped the rating up because I love cheesy '80s nostalgia, and compared with better-known THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, this movie is way more fun. And B-movie queen Barbara Crampton is in it! I will say I didn't like the guy who played the nerdy brother, and was baffled as to how he got the lead, especially when the fun brother was the much more likable Chase Williamson of JOHN DIES AT THE END.

The Hallow (2015)

Boring folk horror

[4/10 · 1 October 2019]

A couple and their baby move to rural Ireland, where they soon discover that the folk tales about fairies and banshees and wood nymphs (oh my!) are true. While the location was nice and there were a few good tension-building moments, the story was just boring and silly. But considering that I prefer ghosts to goblins and such, it's not surprising that the evil tree people didn't win me over.

They Look Like People (2015)

Pretty good little film that's hard to categorize

[6/10 · 1 October 2019]

I'm not sure how to feel about this movie, mainly because I don't think it belongs in the horror genre. Two long-lost brofriends have a brounion and bro down for a while before Handsome Bro realizes that Beardo Bro is having some kind of mental breakdown. Or is he? Maybe. Or IS he? Yes. Probably. OR IS HE? You get the idea. And it just kind of goes on like that for a while until it eventually ends. I guess it's really a story about friendship? I don't know. But I didn't hate it. And I have to give Handsome Bro props -- not just because he's handsome. That bro is a good dude, man.

The House at the End of Time (2013)

Spooky and sweet

[8/10 · 1 October 2019]

When it comes to horror, I much prefer stories about supernatural events and the unexplained to bloody mayhem and monster madness, so this Venezuelan movie was right up my alley. I can't really say too much about the plot without giving a lot away, but I will say that it's the first movie since THE ORPHANAGE that managed to both creep me out and make me cry. Unlike THE ORPHANAGE (one of my top 5 movies of all time), I pretty much figured out the twist halfway through. But that didn't really detract from the story, and there was another nice surprise at the end. I wish there could've been a little more backstory on the house, and that the age makeup didn't look so terrible, but those are minor complaints. If you don't have a problem with subtitles, I strongly recommend this one.

The Devil's Candy (2015)

Some kind of metal version of Amityville Horror?

[4/10 · 1 October 2019]

The disturbed man-child from IDENTITY plays another disturbed man-child who began hearing (and listening to) demonic voices in his parents' house, which continue to haunt him after he moves into a hotel. When new people buy the house, demonic stuff happens. *fart noise* Ugh. I probably would've given this a lower score if not for my little crush on Ethan Embry, who is the only reason I watched in the first place. I was annoyed that his character is constantly disheveled and sweaty, but this was apparently required to make the viewer understand that he is a serious metal-head. He really, really likes heavy metal, you guys!

Dracula 2000 (2000)

Missed its chance to be campy fun

[5/10 · 1 October 2019]

Hotties Gerard Butler and Jonny Lee Miller (and silver fox Christopher Plummer) are really the only reason to watch this fairly dull take on everyone's favorite vampire. There are plenty of campy moments to enjoy, but there are also too many parts that want to be taken seriously. Butler just walks around bug-eyed and mumbly (but with amazing hair) for a couple of hours' worth of the usual vampire movie tropes -- aside from one minor twist that reveals Dracula's origin as an infamous historical figure. It's an interesting idea, but one that ultimately doesn't add much to the same old story.

I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2016)

Evict her already!

[1/10 · 1 October 2019]

A Netflix original, which, if I were Bobby Netflix, I wouldn't bragging about. The pointlessly long title is the first hint at what you're in for. Essentially, Ruth Wilson mumbles. Ruth Wilson looks confused. Ruth Wilson moves about as quickly as a slug on Xanax. I think "I Am the Pretty Thing That Watches Paint Dry" would be a much more exciting film. Now I know how Joel Hodgson felt on MST3K when he had to watch "Manos: Hands of Fate." And indeed, throughout this movie I kept shouting at my screen, "DO SOMETHING!" It certainly was horrifying, but not for any of the intended reasons.

Come Back to Me (2014)

Surprisingly good horror/thriller

[7/10 · 1 October 2019]

This no-name cast, low budget film pleasantly surprised me. The weird and unique premise plays out as a good mix of psychological thriller/supernatural horror. Yes, there are some eye-roll-inducing moments and general cheesiness in parts, but overall it's well done with a satisfying ending. (Random side note: the lead actress looks just like Kellie Pickler.)

Last Shift (I) (2014)

Good lead actress stuck in a low budget bore

[5/10 · 1 October 2019]

A rookie cop spends her first shift at a police station that is closing due to scaaaaary reasons. And of course scaaaaary things start to happen. That's about it. This is a low budget movie that gets by on its creepy atmosphere and a convincing performance by the lead actress. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but the last 20 minutes or so are a total mess, right up to the very blah ending.

Coherence (2013)

Thought-provoking, excellent sci-fi drama

[9/10 · 1 October 2019]

I didn't expect much from this movie, knowing it was made on a shoestring budget with unknown actors (except the guy from Buffy), and it proved to me that money and star power is not nearly as important as good writing. The premise is pretty simply laid out fairly early on, and then we get to watch our characters try to figure out what's happening. You have to pay close attention throughout, and it's a movie you'll be talking about for days after it's over. And it's one of those films that's even better on the second viewing. Truly one of the best sci-fi movies I've ever seen.

The Fanatic (2019)

Not deserving of its low score

[7/10 · 15 September 2019]

Unfortunately, it's become fashionable in recent years to trash John Travolta, which is the only explanation I can think of for this movie's current score of 3.8. Before "The Fanatic" even came out, people were talking about how horrible it was guaranteed to be, simply because Fred Durst directed it and Travolta was sporting a weird haircut. I have to wonder how many of the bad reviews here (particularly the ones that are like one or two sentences) were written by people who didn't even see the movie.

Is "The Fanatic" the best thing I've ever seen? No. Is it the worst? Not even close. Is it offensive to autistic people? Well, I guess that's up to autistic people to decide. But I'm not sure why people would heap praise on Dustin Hoffman in "Rain Man" and then trash Travolta for his portrayal, when he actually comes off as a lot more natural and realistic. I have autistic family members and I thought Travolta nailed some of the classic behaviors. His now-deceased son was autistic as well, so it's quite possible that he used some of Jett's mannerisms and attitudes to create this character.

There were some things I didn't like about the movie. The narration was cheesy and unnecessary. The street performers who bullied Moose were just the worst cliches, portrayed by very bad actors. Fred Durst's self-referential "Hunter jams out to Limp Bizkit" scene made me roll my eyes. And the sudden burst of over-the-top violence near the end just felt like something that was done for lack of a better idea for the ending.

All in all though, at a tight 1 hrs and 28 min, this was an interesting movie that never dragged and was mostly enjoyable. And Travolta was really terrific. A far cry from his cooler than cool characters in "Grease," "Get Shorty," or "Pulp Fiction," but he creates a character you can truly sympathize with, even when he's wrong.