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The Last Broadcast (1998)
Disappointing
The Last Broadcast definitely has an intriguing premise and setup, but it's ultimately mostly squandered.
The first half of this movie is definitely better than the second half. They do an effective job at explaining the situation and giving us some backstory on the characters. The acting during the interview segments is, for the most part, effective and comes off as genuine. I was really excited to see where everything was going to go but...
It really starts to drag in the second half. They keep repeating the same things and the same footage we've already seen and heard. It really got boring after a while. I just kind of wanted them to get to the point but it only got worse. The film completely loses focus. In the last half hour it suddenly becomes a commentary on media? The 'message' feels clumsy and tacked on.
And then there's the ending, the twist, the big reveal. I caught on a few minutes before it was revealed but thought there was no way it was actually going to happen. But it did. And it sucked. I get what they were going for, it's supposed to be this huge reveal that you aren't actually watching a documentary but everyone who's ever watched this movie knew they were watching a movie. It just comes off as silly and nonsensical. And oh my god, does the camera work look terrible after it changes styles. It's unbelievably cheap looking compared to the rest of the movie. It's almost parody levels of stupid as far as twists are concerned. It is such a disappointing payoff. Everything falls apart in the end.
Starts off promising but gradually goes downhill before completely going off the rails at the end.
Assimilate (2019)
Nothing Special
There's not really any reason to watch this movie, to be honest. Nothing really stands out about it. The plot has been done before, the acting isn't bad but it isn't anything special, there's no real tension. I was just bored most of the time. The story is generic and there isn't really anything done to shake up the formula. Just super straightforward and predictable. And it just feels way too...made for teens. Kinda looks cheap, too. Characters aren't great either. There were a couple of effectively creepy things and the ending was kind of fun but that's about it. It isn't terrible but it's extremely forgettable. Even if you're just looking for a simple time waster it isn't really worth it.
Holiday Hell (2019)
Beyond Bad
I'm really not trying to be hyperbolic when I say that this might be the worst movie that I've ever watched. I know there are worse movies out there but this was personally the most miserable viewing expiernce I've had. The movie fails on basically every level. It just sucks. The budget is clearly non-existent and the whole thing just oozes cheapness. Low budget horror movies can be fun, but this one isn't. The majority of the acting is downright terrible. And for a movie called Holiday Hell, the shorts barely have anything to do with Holidays.
The first segment is easily the worst. Like a minute into it you realize what kind of movie this is going to be. It, without a doubt, contains the worst acting and dialogue I've ever seen in a movie. No human being talks the way the characters in this segment talk. It's one of the most nothing pieces of film making I've ever seen. It has absolutely no reason for existing. Just some laughably bad characters getting killed off and then a CrAzY tWiSt that doesn't matter, followed by a god awful fight scene. There's nothing scary, nothing funny, nothing unique, nothing original. Completely and utterly pointless.
The second segment is just barely better than the first, but still terrible in every conceivable way. Bad acting, a few failed attempts at humor, the complete absence of anything scary or suspenseful. The killer doll is the most nonthreatening killer doll ever put to screen. Just miserable all around. The third segment is the only thing slightly decent about this move and the main actor's performance is actually good. Even then, it's only okay. It got a couple chuckles out of me but it didn't make up for how bad everything else in the movie was. The last one is just plain boring and forgettable. The first two stand out more for how bad they are but nothing about the last one stands out whatsoever. It then leads into a dumb climax and the movie is thankfully over.
Holiday Hell is bad on practically every level. The only thing good about it are Jeffery Combs and Joel Murray, everything else is trash. I've never regretted watching a movie more than this one, and it's the only time I've felt embarrassed for spending my time watching a movie.
Final Exam (1981)
Boring and Tedious
Final Exam is a mostly uninteresting movie, one that feels like a chore to sit through. It fails to be either scary or fun and there's very little that stands out about the movie. Final Exam takes a different approach than most slashers, spending more time developing the characters before the action starts. Trying to get the audience to care about the characters before they start getting killed off is by no means a bad idea, but it certainly doesn't work here. With compelling characters and engaging actors this idea could work out just fine, but Final Exam doesn't have that. The cast is made up of dull, generic characters and spending so much time watching them is just a pain plus the acting is very mediocre across the board. The one character that I did like was Radish, who's a pretty stereotypical nerd character but he's pretty funny and likable, and the actor does a decent job.
There's no suspense, there's basically nothing at all to keep the audience's attention. All we get are a few scenes from the killer's point of view with the same repetitive theme playing each time. That's all, that's what passes for suspense and build up. There's not even really an attempt at having a plot. Just a bunch of characters just kinda going about their day and then getting murdered.
After way too much time spent watching these nothing characters, the killer finally begins to kill and the payoff couldn't be more disappointing. Everything is incredibly tame, there's no fun or interesting kills, no impressive gore or effects. The wait is nowhere near worth it. Just some unspectacular kills and some typical chase scenes.
And then there's the killer himself, which is actually one thing that kind of stood out to me about this movie. His motives are never explained, his backstory is never revealed. We never learn anything about him. Not his name, not why he's doing this, nothing. We don't know why he's doing this and neither do any of the characters. I actually somewhat like this and think it's a fairly neat change of pace. It's one thing that's at least kind of memorable about this movie. However, at the same time he is just a completely normal guy, in terms of appearance especially. There's no mask or anything to set him apart. Which I guess is fitting for how little we know about him but still, it doesn't make for a very scary killer as he doesn't look particularity intimidating or imposing.
Overall, this movie really isn't worth the watch. Boring kills, boring characters, and mostly non-existent story. There's a couple of things that aren't awful but they don't make up for how tedious the overall experience is.