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Reviews
The Departed (2006)
Donny McBrasco
This film is terribly disappointing! Pointless really! Generally you spend about two hours making mental notes of conversations events and characters that in the long run don't mean squat! In the words of Alfred Hitchcock, this movie was all McGuffin! Or lots of sizzle but no steak! Plot holes galore. It had more loose ends than Keanu Reeves after a month in prison. Most of this convoluted film is a complete waste of time.
Here is the SPOILER! Within the last ten minutes of the film we are introduced to a character as almost an afterthought, that would have changed the complexion of the entire film! Rendering the film we just spent two hours watching a pointless waste of time! Sure for people expecting Marty's usual splattering blood sequences, you'll get plenty of those. Plenty of graphic physical violence but no real story.
Basically the story goes like this... Low level hood (The GREAT Jack Nicholson) contends with a rat from the police force that wants to know about an undercover agent (Leo DiCaprio) in the ranks of an Irish mob in Boston that no-one really cares about, you shouldn't either. The rat and the undercover agent share the same girlfriend. The undercover agent gets whacked by another undercover agent/rat that Marty finally decides to tell us about in the last ten minutes. The rat (Matt Damon) gets whacked by a disgruntled cop. And as the rat's body lays dead in his new apartment, a real rat scurries by the window... Closing credits.
Clichéd, hackneyed, weak, amateurish, bloated and convoluted.
Save your money, rent Goodfellas again! At least in that one you gave a crap about the characters!
Herbie Goes Bananas (1980)
I Really Like This One!
Being an avid fan of the Herbie movies since I was a child, and the very proud adult owner of an immaculately restored 1972 Super Beetle, I consider this film to be one of the BEST in the series! Loads of laughs, loads of fun! The cast is top notch. The effects are superbly done. It is absolutely perfect for family viewing. Great for the kids and still a lot of fun for the adults.
There is a perfect blend of aspects that will "appeal" to the children while not forgetting about the adults who will no doubt have to watch it along with the kids. The adult humor references will safely fly right over the heads of the youthful viewers.
If you like Herbie, and who doesn't?, this is one you'll want to see if you haven't already!
A truly enjoyable film.
The Black Dahlia (2006)
Horrible!
Absolutely the worst film I have ever seen! It has virtually NOTHING to do with the murder of Elizabeth Short. Though it claims to be a movie about the Black Dahlia murder investigation.
This film is nothing but a prime example of the old Hollywood "bait & switch. The trailer and promotion intimated that this was going to be a film about the famous or infamous unsolved murder.
What the viewer gets is a dumb poorly made ridiculous attempt at a noir style film that just happens to have the Black Dahlia murder as a backdrop. Brian DiPalma should be ashamed of himself for directing this lousy piece of crap.
The viewer who rents or buys this film with hopes of learning something about one of the most horrible and still unsolved murder cases in American history, should know that virtually all of the characters and events in this film are pure fiction. Even references to events in Elizabeth Short's life are fictionalized as well.
If you should decide to rent this film you should consider renting a copy of "Time Machine" with hopes of being able to get back the 2 hours and 2 minutes that you will surely feel that you have wasted watching "The Black Dahlia".
Stoned (2005)
Quite Good Actually...
Considering that there are no other movies available that look into this particular subject, for those interested in the final days in the life of the brilliant Brian Jones this is the film you will have to see if the subject interests you as much as it does me.
Having read all of the material available on the final days in Brian's life and being endlessly fascinated by all the mystery surrounding his untimely demise, I was impressed with impeccable way that it was presented in this film. Clearly the people associated with this film made a point of sticking to the established facts even if the existing evidence was contractive at times. Allowing scenes and accounts to be contractive from time to time is refreshing and considered taboo in presenting a film for entertainment.
I was impressed with the acting, direction, dialog and portrayals in this film. All in all a fascinating character study. Brian Jones was a tremendously talented, gifted and complex human being who has become a bit of a mysterious "martyr" since his death in his early 20s. This film leaves one with a sense of just beginning to know him in a very human way. The good and bad.
It is a genuine film that portrays Brian as a brilliant, sensitive yet confused, troubled artist. All true. Mistreated and yet capable of mistreating others. A complex person to be sure. And this film shows it all. Very competently. Leo Gregory's performance is top notch. The same can be said about Paddy Considine.
Absolutely a film worth watching.
That being said, I did have just a couple of issues with the film. And in all fairness I thought I would mention them here.
First, Brian Jones' musical genius was given very short shrift here. Just a brief look into what Brian was capable of musically clearly shows that he was an absolute prodigy. Capable of picking up any instrument that he had never played before and becoming completely proficient in just an hour or so. This film does seem to gloss over this fact. This is unfortunate because this was so important to know about him.
Second, some may consider this a warning of sorts. This film does seem to contain what I consider to be a gratuitous amount of full frontal male nudity. Don't get me wrong, I am not a prude. It is just that it seems to be completely done simply for the "pleasure" of the director. Absolutely none of it is required to tell this story at all. One is left to wonder why the director felt it necessary to include these scenes. Perhaps it was done to create controversy. But all it really serves to do is take people's attention away from the story being told.
If one was watching a film about John Holmes for example, then one would expect a glimpse or two of his appendage. There was just no point in doing that with this film. Personally I felt that the director was insecure about the quality of his film and included these scenes hoping that he would draw more viewers due to the controversy.
Either way, this is a very good film and worth viewing. If you don't mind seeing a penis swing by from time to time.
The Night of the Hunter (1955)
Horrible
This is the worst film I have ever seen! The dialog was horrendous, the cinematography was awful and the direction was nauseating! I tried, oh how I tried to find a redeeming aspect in this waste of film stock, but alas, there is nothing!
My respect for Robert Mitchum has dropped to a frightening low after enduring this piece of garbage! No wonder Stanley Kubrick hated working with Charles Laughton!
Hold your nose when passing this flatulent piece of excrement in your local video store!
I need to forget I ever wasted my time with this horrible excuse for a film!
Run, don't walk past it! Don't bother!
Devil Doll (1964)
Very Creepy!
While watching this film you often have the feeling that this was supposed to be a longer, more fleshed out film. Vorelli re-gluing his beard back on is never really explained, among a few other open-ended events.
The one thing that can be said is that this film is genuinely creepy at several points throughout. Watching it late at night in the dark when everyone else is asleep will lead to looks over one's shoulder! The fight scene at the end between Vorelli and Hugo is actually nightmare inducing! If you have the chance, do see it! Oh, how I long for the actually SCARY films of days gone by! Hey Hollywood take note... CGI doesn't scare anyone! A film like this one will definitely give you the heebies and the jeebies! If you want to see a creepy movie, get a hold of this one!
Return to Horror High (1987)
Don't Bother!
PU!
This was absolutely the WORST movie of all time! The only thing gory about this movie is from all of the viewers that poked out their own eyes after watching it! Sadly it is the BEST thing George Clooney has EVER done!
Gee, I wonder why Maureen McCormick has such a great career?(!)
You'll need to light a scented candle and two cans of air freshener to get the stink of this movie out of your house!
AVOID wasting your money on this piece of crap!
What were Vince Edwards and Alex Rocco thinking when they agreed to be in this turkey?!
The Changeling (1980)
Some Creepy Moments, But...
I'll start off by saying a few things... I am a HUGE George C. Scott fan, the guy could do nothing wrong as far as I am concerned!
His deeply intense style of acting is just what I have always liked about great actors like him.
As for this film... There were a few very creepy and scary moments scattered throughout that made the whole film worthwhile. But, I also found it to be too long and convoluted for the story that was being told. It took more than 30 minutes before anything actually started happening. The slow start increased the yawn factor and reduced the over-all rating factor.
Several characters just appeared, and it seemed as though they would be important to the story, only to disappear in the convolution. After the séance it became clear that the unfortunate circumstances that befell the original child led to the child communicating with Russell through his grief.
Apparently, the child wanted to have things set right so that he could rest in peace. As the film progresses, whenever Russell attempts to set things right, the spirit that is guiding Russell becomes angrier and angrier. Escalating to the violent conflagration at the end. With the complete destruction of the house and it's contents.
One is left to wonder why this happened. And it was just downright silly to have the senator show up walking up the stairs.
Only after some consideration did I come to the conclusion that the negative angry things that were happening MAY have been caused by the father. But, this was not made clear in the film. Hence the convolution I mentioned earlier.
It was a scary film to be sure. A bit confusing and convoluted at times but, definitely worth seeing.
The Haunted World of Edward D. Wood Jr. (1995)
Disappointed
Being an independent filmmaker and a huge fan of Edward D. Wood Jr. I purchased this documentary believing that this would finally set the record straight on how gifted and brilliant Ed Wood actually was.
What I got was a disappointing self-centered, conflictive, contradictory compilation of bitter self-aggrandizing has-beens.
Where people DO remember Ed Wood Jr., do people actually remember the second cousin of the guy with the duct tape who knew someone who was in Plan Nine From Outer Space?
It appears as though, the very minute there is a renewed interest in Ed Wood, these people come out of the "Wood"work! Only to take mean spirited swipes at someone who actually gave them a chance when no-one else would! After 50 years I would suggest that many of these people should let go of the fact that they didn't get the $75 they were promised!
Ed Wood was a brilliant creative filmmaker who knew how to entertain. In-fact that was ALL he lived for. You may giggle when you see Ed's films, but somehow you are aware that you are laughing WITH him, and not AT him.
But, I digress... Back to the film at hand. If you are expecting a film ABOUT Edward D. Wood Jr., you won't get it here. If you want a film about cranky bitter old actors, this is the film for you!