liamfullartonward Reviews

Knives Out (2019)

Decent, but far too long.

[6/10 · 11 April 2020]

I liked this film but it was by no means a great. To call it a tribute to Agatha Christie would have the woman turn in her grave. It was a decent film I recommend you watching but it was overlong by at least one hour. We reached the 46 minute mark thinking we'd been there an hour and a half and it was about to wrap up... the Gil is more than 2 hours long and has at least 40 minutes of padding. The writers should have learned from Christie to hack out unnecessary dialogue and drawn out drivel.

Katherine Langford is a terrible and overrated actress. Stop hiring her. Her face, her voice, her mannerisms, her attitude... it's all a flop and I took a star off my rating just because of her. She really let this film down. From now on I will never watch a film if she's in it. Absolutely terrible acting.

Harlan and the nurse are by far the best characters, Harlan being my favourite. Their acting was by far the best in the whole film.

American Psycho (2000)

American Disaster would be a better name.

[2/10 · 2 April 2020]

I gave this film two stars. One because of Christian Bale's performance, the other because I'm amazed a disaster like this made it to the screen. The plot is terrible. The writing was atrocious. The characters were mediocre. The only person in the film who had a shred of skill was Patrick Bateman (what a failed job it was to try and create another Norman Bates in this wet blanket of a film).

Don't waste your time. There was no skill involved. This film was likely written in three hours and flung out for a bit of extra cash.

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974)

Now THIS is a Good Film!

[10/10 · 29 March 2020]

This film shows what good acting, directing and performance is and modern day people should take note. I've seen films with 3X the budget with significantly less quality. It flowed perfectly and delivered a sassy and brilliant take on Godzilla. This will forever be one of my favourites.

The monster fight scenes were fantastic. The human story lines were incredible and didn't last too long. All of the characters are likable and entertaining. They did not include unnecessary dialogue or padding.

Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1971)

One of the Weirdest, Trippiest and Horrific Films of All Time.

[10/10 · 29 March 2020]

I first watched this film at 6 years old and it has become one of my most watched ever. I am now 26. It's a fantastically weird film for the era and to this day I still have nightmares. A film I will never forget. If you love Godzilla you will love this film. The drama and theatrics are outstanding, far superior to many films of today. I honestly don't know why people are so judgemental of it.

Consider this film was released in 1971 by a Japanese company, it isn't going to have incredible CGI. The Hedorah suit was so heavy it was suspended partially on wires as it weighed over 300lbs.

There is a scene the original director (who was in hospital at the time) specifically demanded was not to be implemented, and it was. You'll know it with a Google and just by watching the film. I personally thought it was funny and quite unique.

Mr. Brooks (2007)

Fantastic Film, Fantastic Mr Brooks, Fantastic Plot; Horrific Acting from the Police Woman.

[7/10 · 28 March 2020]

Mr Brooks is a brilliant film that is, for the most part, very well performed with a thoroughly thrilling atmosphere. It was gripping and utterly fantastic; Kevin Costner put on a world class performance hands down. He carried this film. In fact, everyone but Demi Moore did a wonderful job and truly deserve a round of applause. This was a fantastic thriller. I really would have given this a much higher rating if they'd axed the police woman. God Almighty, she was awful.

Demi Moore destroyed this film and was obviously sleeping with the director to get a part because her acting was a -90/10. A truly horrific performance, terrible delivery and a failed performance from her. I've seen better acting from a nursey Christmas show. The officer's theme was 'I'm the ultimate badass, the untouchable officer. YEAH!' what a cringe fest. In fact, her performance was so atrociously bad it was more disturbing than the murders by far. I'm surprised she didn't get the boot out of Hollywood. Yikes.

A Night to Remember (1958)

A Definitive Film Everyone Needs to Watch.

[7/10 · 27 March 2020]

This is a fantastic retelling of the story of the Titanic. Once it got going I was full of suspense. It's often difficult for me to find films I truly enjoy and can watch without my attention wandering, but this was one of the good ones. For the era it was fantastically filmed and produced. It's based upon a book, which is always a bonus in my opinion.

The entitlement of some of the passengers was astounding and I can imagine very realistic. The women in particular infuriated me. I hope it was humbling for anyone who did behave as they did.

A very enjoyable and tragic film. Some compare it to the DiCaprio version and it's true it doesn't hold as much glamour, nowhere near the level of romance of glitz, but that's what makes this film fantastic. It's stark, realistic and well filmed. It didn't need all that to be a winner.

If you love the Titanic or are just looking for a fantastic retro film to watch then definitely get on with this one.

Identity (2003)

Underwhelming

[4/10 · 22 March 2020]

A film with a lot of potential, just poor writing and bad acting let it down. About 2/3 of the way through there's a major plot twist and it's explained in a very short space of time, not well explained mind, but there nonetheless. The way the film is portrayed and tied together is below average. It's not bad, but it's nothing to be excited about and it wouldn't be something that springs to mind if I were to recommend something from its genre.

The ending was really good, but rushed.

If you want to watch a better film about a murder motel, watch Psycho (1960) that's a much better film overall, the two don't even compare.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

Rename this Cringezilla please.

[3/10 · 12 March 2020]

I'm convinced this film was written by a room full of 9-year-old boys just wanting to make the monsters look BIIIIG and BAAAD. YEAH! except the monsters are all dynamic shots and repetitive movements. I don't understand how in 2019 they made a film that was worse quality than in the 50s, and particularly, the 60s. I've watched every Godzilla film and these new ones are always atrocious.

The Good:

• It said Godzilla.
• There were more monsters.
• I managed to finish it.

The Bad:

• The roars. Godzilla no longer sounds like Godzilla, but a lion with laryngitis having his tongue pulled out. Ghidorah? The original high-pitched screeches years ago were not only better quality, but far more distinct. At one point Ghidorah and Godzilla roar at each other and you cannot tell the difference. Neither of them sound remotely like their characters.
• Garbage audio. The humans talk barely above a whisper the entire film then it'll cut to a scene with a helicopter so loud it rattles your entire house. It doesn't set the scene or make it feel realistic to play sounds a completely deaf person could hear halfway across the planet, it makes it infuriating and low quality.
• So. Many. Humans. And almost none of them you'll care about by the end of the film.
• Mothra was atrocious, weak and pathetic. She hatches from her cocoon this massive goddess... and shrinks to the size of a peanut in combat. I've never seen a moth have this many facial expressions. Queen of the Monsters? what disrespect to the original Mothra. She was larger as a larva than a full moth. She was tossed in as a token.
• Contains the nicest bad guy ever with like 3 scenes and 4 lines of dialogue.
• The writing was bad. The dialogue was bad. The plot was bad.
• The fight scenes are predictable and all the same. Big monsters roar and show off how big and bad they are- run at each other- grab each other- a few electric/nuclear breaths and then boom, fight is over only for it to repeat again in an hour after a massively long stretch of humans doing stupid things.
• That ending? not only predictable, but I physically cringed watching it. DEFINITELY written by a preteen boy who loves action figures and explosions.
• Calling them Titans. What is this? Cartoon Network? Refer to them as the monsters/ earth defenders/ mutants/ alien invaders, as they've always been called.
• So much CGI. So many extreme explosions and so much fire and yet everyone walks out unharmed. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
• 0 logic. Rodan *sits harmlessly on the mountain* Humans *shoot him with missiles to buy time for the evacuees* Rodan *Flies over and murders all innocents, destroys the city and slaughters half their fighters* Okay. Seems legit.
• There's so much smoke, so much darkness and so much fire it's hard to see anything.

This film is worth the watch, but it's absolutely nothing to brag about. If you want to see quality Godzilla films then watch the older ones from the 50s- early 2000s (Excluding the 1998 'Zilla'). Real fans will know what I'm talking about. I can imagine this kind of film only appeals to young kids who like big and buff and nothing in between. Again, just a film written by kids with no depth, no good characters and a few of the weakest nods to the originals I've ever seen. I get this is supposed to be new and epic, but it wasn't.

Misery (1990)

Brilliant thriller

[7/10 · 3 March 2020]

A slow-burning psychological thriller with fantastic acting and very likable characters. If you're into psychotic villains, retro films and stories about authors, you're going to love this. I highly recommend it for fans of the 1960 film Psycho. Hats off to Kathy Bates for an outstanding performance.

Psycho II (1983)

A brilliantly underrated sequel

[8/10 · 20 February 2020]

A fantastic follow-up to the 1960 film Psycho, Norman Bates returns from psychiatric care and is confronted by the demons of his past. This is a fantastic story of friendship, mental illness and trust. I highly recommend this. It isn't usual that sequels stand up to a breathtaking original, but this one did. We'll definitely watch Psycho 3.

Psycho (1960)

A horror gem

[9/10 · 19 February 2020]

Such a brilliant film with wonderful acting and full of quirkiness. The ending is a complete plot twist that makes this a true horror. I can't praise it enough. The audio is fantastic and proves superiority to newer age films, you can hear everything and it's intensely satisfying. I don't want to spoil this but it's more than worth a watch for fans of psychological thrillers.

Definitely watching the sequel.

Happy Death Day 2U (2019)

First film was brilliant, second was unwatchable because it was so bad.

[2/10 · 9 January 2020]

Couldn't even finish watching this, the plot changed completely from the first one and spent at least 30% in referencing it. Terrible CGI, horrendous acting, none of the charm or horror from the first, and lazy writing. This could have been done so much better but it was cringey and became a weird sci-fi comedy. Don't waste your time.

Mother! (2017)

More holes than a Swiss Cheese, garbage writing, no character development. WASTE OF TIME.

[2/10 · 9 January 2020]

Jennifer Lawrence's acting skills were put to a complete waste in this overlong piece of garbage.

• The writers have no talent whatsoever and over an hour and a half of this mess had absolutely NOTHING to do with the overall plot. It was beginning *blank space* and then *insert entirely different film with the same cast*. Barely anything connects at all and the dialogue is worse than a fanfiction written by a 6 year old.
• Jennifer Lawrence's character was the wettest dishrag I've ever seen. Meek as a blind and disabled mouse.
• There is NO character development and about 1790000000 characters, most of which have no names
• Plot hole after plot hole after train wreck plot hole. More holes than a Swiss cheese.
• You need an IQ of 3 to enjoy this film, that, or you received a truckload of money to write a review above 2 stars (and I only rated it that high because Jennifer Lawrence did the best performance she could with such an atrocious script).
• The quality is poor, borderline potato filming.
• Why is the film called Mother? it has almost nothing to do with the 10000 plots featured in this trash.
• Waste of life. Don't bother watching.
• The only horror is the most disgusting, violent and primitive form of horror these basic, low-grade writers could pick out of their flea-bitten backsides. Drunk monkeys could write better.

The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)

It was fantastic until the ending, which spoiled the entire film.

[5/10 · 9 January 2020]

The premise was good, the plot fascinating but predictable and it was mildly scary, however, the ending destroyed it. It was extremely cliche and just... terrible. It could have been written so much better, but it was like the writers gave up, lost all creativity and dumped it out for quick cash. It's good enough to watch, but the ending destroys it.

It Chapter Two (2019)

Too long, stupid ending, loose ends everywhere.

[6/10 · 29 December 2019]

It was good, started off intense and suspenseful, then gradually collapsed about 3/4 through this overlong process full of loop holes and ends that were never tied up. It doesn't make sense to introduce characters and a full story in its own right, to cast it aside within 15 minutes to never be heard of again. There's a joke throughout the film about one of the characters (an author) writing a bad ending that everyone hates. It pretty much sums up the illogical ending to this film. In essence, it was a bit of a mess.

Was it scary? slightly. Was it suspenseful? A little. Was it fun? yeah. Was it amazing? No. It was just too long as well. We watched it at home in two sittings because... yeah. I did love Stephen King's little cameo.

The Conjuring (2013)

A Masterful Horror.

[10/10 · 11 December 2019]

The Conjuring was perfectly balanced in terms of jump-scares, anxiety and excellent story line. Each of the characters was portrayed well. This book left me with thrills I can't shake days later. It was scary, but nothing extreme. No sex, no drugs, no unnecessary gore and even the length of the film was perfect. This reignited my enjoyment of watching films so much so I made an account to review it.

The Conjuring 2 (2016)

A disappointingly long and inaccurate sequel.

[3/10 · 11 December 2019]

After watching The Conjuring a couple of days ago, my husband and I decided to give 2 a chance and we both regret it. The film was extremely slow-paced with no jump-scares and left us feeling more like we were watching a low intensity thriller than a true horror. This is based on a true story of a London haunting, however, it is desperately inaccurate to the actual story.

Compared to the first film this was a flop. More than two hours long and the plot only begins to take shape an hour in. I don't recommend this if you actually want to be scared and the CGI was disappointing too.