Darth_Mysterio Reviews

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

the force is strong with this one.....

[10/10 · 20 May 2005]

may 19th, 2005

the wait is finally over, the final puzzle piece is in place. I'm not going to get all fan-boy gushy here, besides the movie wasn't good enough to get fan-boy gushy. but it was still good.

for those of you that don't own a television or ever go outside, this is the sixth (chronologically) or third (story arc) and final star wars movie, chronicling the fall of anakin skywalker and the birth of the empire. from here on I'm going to assume you've all seen the other movies.

anyways, the movie does meander slightly at the beginning, i could tell many scenes were cut, who knows why, thus causing unexplained actions and dialog by characters. eventually it picks up steam once grievous is finished off. by the time anakin has turned you are hooked. no one dared get up from their seat, no one even breathed as Vader's mask went on and the birth began. very well done. the action sequences and effects are once again top of the line, i smell potential Oscars. don't expect nominations for acting writing or directing though. Lucas is a masterful storyteller and whatever gift he had with dialog back in the old days with "american graffiti" and the first star wars is long gone. but it makes little difference. the writing and acting are still a little better than episodes 1 and 2, which is good enough. this movie is story driven, and it sure does drive. there are some fan-boy moments throughout (look for scout troopers and snow troopers among the clone ranks for instance.) i even cried a little at moments throughout, couldn't help it. seeing the end of the saga segue into the beginning, seeing that familiar scroll, hearing the trumpets blast one last time. i was born in 1977, i grew up with these movies. they have certainly left an indelible mark on not just cinema but many facets of entertainment. thankfully Georgie Lucas made sure to go out on a high note. sorry to ramble I'm gonna go to sleep.

Spider-Man 2 (2004)

This Spider-Man truly is amazing. the best superhero movie ever.

[10/10 · 6 July 2004]

July 6 2004

The wait is over, Marvel Comics has finally delivered Spider-Man 2 to us, and my, did they deliver. not only is this a rare example of a sequel outdoing its predecessor, but it is arguably the greatest superhero movie ever, at least tied with 1978's Superman: the movie. What makes this movie so great? It's Sam Raimi's ability to interseam style and substance. While most super hero flicks focus mainly on stylized action sequences and flashy special effects, this movie realizes there are human beings involved in this story. it acknowledges that Spider-Man is indeed a man underneath the costume. We witness his struggle to balance his private life with his public one. How does one manage school, two jobs, being in love and saving New York? The movie gets even more complex then that, but i only have so many words. Alfred Molina is also great as Dr. Octopus, my personal fave Spidey villain. The effects in this movie are even better than in the first Spidey, you'll be quite convinced it's Tobey swingin' around town. note the lifelike detail in the movements of Doc's tentacles. And though the action scenes are quite entertaining, the plot fleshes out the characters and situations so well that there are no lulls where you're wondering "when are we gonna see more action?" In summary, this is truly a movie for those who don't care for superhero movies. and i cant blame those folks. most superhero movies relegate their heroes to grimy dark worlds fighting grimy dark villains wearing a grimy dark costume, grim, emotionless fare. Not the Spider-Man franchise. These movies bring the excitement and sense of wonder of being a hero back to the movies. Instead of dark and grimy, Raimi wisely goes for bright and vibrant. 10/10 stars.

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

Attack of mixed emotions

[10/10 · 27 September 2003]

ok, ill keep this spoiler free..... this movie is great and mediocre at once. the effects are amazing, the sets, costumes, action sequences, yet the story and acting fall rather flat. lucas doesnt even try to squeeze even halfway decent preformances from his actors, even sam s jackson appears stilted and held back. i guess lucas' theory is just get the shot we have a lot to do. and the length of time in between the stories of phantom and clones casts doubt on the beliveability of this whole deal... how many people do you remember after 5 or more years? ya know? but overall i give it a seven, it is star wars, and theres more good than bad. christopher lee is crisp as ever, and the clone troopers are a stunning harbinger of things unfolded later in the saga. just dont compare these prequels to the original trilogy, and youll enjoy yourself.

Black Circle Boys (1997)

suburban white boys find comfort in satanism

[23 April 2001]

this movie wasnt too bad for a straight to vid release. the cast is flawed,(try not to laugh at donnie walberghs attempt to be scary) but eric mabius is decent in his role as the leader of the boys. the plot centers around a kid named kyle who comes to a new school, makes friends with the headbangers, listens to crappy music, does drugs, and ends up in a satanic cult. will he see the light? will he escape the cult? will he quit drugs? will anyone care? the movie gives off a poser-ish vibe thanks to the terrible soundtrack, and the band the kids go to see is a nine inch nails rip off. i thought these kids were headbanger satanists. they should have been seeing deicide in concert, but by that point in the movie, you wont care much. dont get me wrong, its not unwatchable, just dont pay over a dollar to rent it.

One Dark Night (1982)

adam west does horror...who will survive?

[1/10 · 23 April 2001]

definatley one of the worst horror movies ive ever seen. i use the term horror loosely, becuase there is nothing horrific about this bomb. first of all, it has adam west in it. that should be enough, but ill continue. the extremley boring plot starts off with tilly having some drama thing with her father, then going out with her freinds(including the token black). then she has to spend the night in a supposedly creepy cemetary as an initiation into one of those teenage club/gangs.(after you see the jackets the girls wear, youll wonder if this is such a good idea)no one knows that a powerful magician(i think its a relative of hers.who cares?!) is buried in a crypt there. all of a sudden, the wizard is awakened, and unleashes his fury via lame 70's tv style lightning bolts from his eyes, and rotting zombies obviously being pushed by grips out of camera range. the zombies dont move, and neither does west. and then i wondered, what is a great actress like tilly doing in this dreck? should've been titled"one dark night, i was bored and wrote a script". wish i coulde give it a negative rating, like -74.

W.B., Blue and the Bean (1989 Video)

an excursion in idiocy

[1/10 · 7 April 2001]

Quite possibly one of the worst movies ever made. the fact that it stars david haselhoff and linda blair should already tell you something about this stinker. basically, haselhoff plays a bounty hunter trying to keep blair alive to appear at a drug trial. very minimal acting from all involved, but you do get to see haselhoff in a teal jumpsuit, and playing tennis in a white hairband. only worth watching to laugh at.

Warrior of the Lost World (1983)

donald pleasence does it again

[1/10 · 7 April 2001]

a very bad movie. this movie is about a wannabe mad max riding around on a motorcycle that talks like KITT on crack, trying to stop lost boys type characters and the omega organization(or whatever its called). pleasence plays the leader of the organization and the lost boys have very futuristic sony walkman headsets that they communicate with. bad special effects, bad acting, bad script. im sure pleasence was embarrassed by by this film, although he gives a good performance. worth a look when youre buzzed and you want a quick laugh.