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bradsbucs
Reviews
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
godawful movie
I admit, they casted a robotic actor to play an unemotional being but everything else, premise, script, science, protocol, directing were terrible! Did anyone care about the alien or feel any kind of attachment for him? Nope, me neither. Was everyone bothered by the bratty little crap of a kid? Yep, so was I. Did you ever once think GORT was "totally" awesome? Not really. And the explanation of why the military called him GORT was just so ridiculously hokey (who wrote this script? the producer's 15 year old son?) that I laughed at that scene. was there ever any emotional connection like there was to the characters in the original? And think about the ending when Rennie's Klaatu informs the dignitaries that "do what you will to your own planet but if you take your insanity outside your own part of the universe, you will be eliminated!" (not an exact quote). That was pretty heavy stuff for the 50's. What was the heavy duty message delivered in this movie? ???? Besides the obvious, there wasn't much of anything that affected me on any level. I have tried to watch this film 4 times and still hate it. Just for an example. Object hurtling towards Earth at a gazillion miles per hour, straight for Manhattan. The government, in all its wisdom, gathers the greatest scientists available and sends them to.... wait now,,,, YES, Manhattan so that they can walk up the object (which they thought would destroy much of the planet)and get obliterated!!! Yes! an excellent plan! and then: hey, let's shoot the bastard commie fink alien before he can shake hands with the lady scientist!!! Whoopee! way to go U.S. Army!!! Love you guys. Oh, right, then whisk the body to an unsafe medical facility where everyone can be exposed to alien microbes which could potentially wipe out the human race!!! That makes for good scientific protocol!
Breaker! Breaker! (1977)
semi trucks save the day!
I had heard of this movie but knew nothing about it except Chuck Norris and cb'ers. Got to see it last night and after about 10 minutes knew it was a real STINKER but it did have a redeeming quality. Once I started pointing out the stupid and inane parts (virtually every part of the film) I started laughing at this clunker. And then the laughs just kept coming scene after scene. The acting(?), the dialogue, non-continuity, sets, directing, EVERYTHING was totally absurd. As serious film making I would give it 0 stars, BUT, as a comedy I give it a 9. Funniest movie I've seen in years. No sense giving examples, there are too many. I hope to buy this somewhere and have some friends over for beer and pick this thing apart. what a hoot!!!
Wet Hot American Summer (2001)
worst movie ever???
I guess a lot of the reviewers are less that 14 years old and think that jokes about lice are just the funniest thing in the universe or maybe they just have the IQ of a rock. This movie was so BADLY over acted and TERRIBLY directed and the script so CHILDISHLY written that the mere watching of it was worse than "train wreck" status. The budget is listed here at approximately 5 million: Cheap enough by 21st century standards. Opening week it brought in $17,481 and did a gross business of $292,102! That pretty much sums up what the theater goers thought of this dreck. They hated it!!! No word of mouth here! So about 48 thousand people actually paid to see this and it died on the vine virtually overnight. There are over 5,000 theaters with over 39,000 screens in the USA. If it had a general release at just 100 screens, with 3 showings a day, the average audience for the weekend was about 50 people per show. That translates to about 20 viewers per showing on Sunday. The producers, investors, and even theater owners lost pot fulls of money on this dog.
Scorcher (2002)
written by a ten year old sci-fi buff
Terrible, terrible, terrible. Just watched it on HBO----AND IT WAS A TRAIN WRECK! This will go down as one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Idiotic story, inane science, and the acting; think jr. high school play, maybe grade school! So bad I got half way through and my brain started to dissolve. The only thing that got me that far was one question I kept asking myself, "When they were making this film did the actors have any idea how horrible this film would turn out?" You can find more sense in an average Bugs Bunny cartoon. And where does the money come from for trash like this? What kind of idiot would hand over millions and want his/her name associated with such an unbelievable dog of a movie. Oh, if you've seen it and consider it good,I am pretty sure you think every movie ever made was "reely gude"
The Lost Future (2010)
written by a ten year old
okay, so the mutant thingies are brainless, animals who are humanoid, BUT; the future-humans-cavepeople aren't allowed into their territory. (HUNH? Wouldn't that require some modicum of intelligence?) Ah, but that's where the giant sloth is so they go there anyway because the tribe hasn't had meat in weeks and is starving. After they kill this 6 thousand pound creature they return to their village with one ten pound roast and the heart.(HUNH?, I guess they eat like birds.) Then the mutants attack and most of the villagers make it into their cave where they drop this clever barrier of logs at the entrance. The mutants are locked out, they are safe inside. BUT,,, nobody had the sense to store some food or water so they face the prospect of starvation. And no back door!(Way to plan future cavemen!!!) I could go on and on,because this story is full of inanities but I will touch on the biggest incredulity of all and it is the linchpin of the plot. The yellow dust. With the fate of the human race at stake and every PHD in medicine IN THE WORLD working unsuccessfully on a cure a few hundred years later some caveman figures it out with a few herbs and spices! Amazing!!
Alien Hunter (2003)
written by a 10 year old
"Hey everybody! I've got an idea, we found this egg-shaped thingie from outer space so why don't we thaw it out and open it up?" "Yes, I know that would be the dumbest thing a scientist could do, and it could be filled with contaminating bacteria or viruses unknown to earth and could potentially wipe out the human race, but hey, I want to know what's in it". "And nobody tell NASA, they might take it away from us". "Wow this thingie gives off vibes!" "Yes,really strong ones on contact so don't touch it but it's okay to cut it open". "Hi there handsome, check out my nips". (Later that day); "DO NOT OPEN"!!!!! Uh oh, we have to run all the way to the lab and tell them not to open it because we don't have phones or radios or intercoms even though we have a gazillion dollars worth of other equipment here. "I've never seen such organic technology!" "Yeah, lemme take this stick and stab it.". "I'm getting out of here, I don't care if I do kill the other 6 billion people on Earth, nobody's nukkin' me!" "Look! it's the friendly aliens from "The Abyss"! They want us to come with them". THE END
Fun with Dick and Jane (2005)
what a waste of time,
No wonder I only had to pay $4.88 for this CD!! What absolute tripe! I can't believe two bona fide stars agreed to let this film be released in it's current form. We chuckled a couple of times early in the film but how can you feel compassion for Jim Carrey's character, Dick Harper? Here is one of the world' most naive, downright stupid idiots to ever hit a screenplay. This guy makes Moe, Shep and Curly look like atomic physicists yet he is a vice-president at mega-corp Globodyne?! No wonder the company went broke! Forty minutes into the film I just wanted this jerk to go to prison and shut up. When characters repeatedly do the dumbest things imaginable, it just isn't funny. I couldn't even finish watching it. The $4.88 was about four dollars too much, not to mention the wasted hour.