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Left for Dead (II) (2005)
8/10
The film the term 'So bad it's good!' was invented for
14 July 2006
The film the term 'So bad it's good!' was invented for. This film has all the hall marks of a very bad 80's action movie. The kind of film that was frequented by Jeff Speakman, Michael Dudikof and Jeff Wincott. The kind of film you rented because the cover had ninjas and fighting drawn so badly that it looked more like your grand ma than Chuck Norris.

The kind of film where the good guy gets shot, kicked, stabbed, beaten, blown up and yet still manages to take down the bad guys army of 200 highly trained soldiers.

The kind of film that had a name like 'American Ninja', 'The Perfect Weapon', 'Ninja Exterminator', 'Invasion USA', 'Eye Of The Tiger', 'Kick Boxer' and 'Missing In Action'.

The kind of film that I always chose at my local video shop over the higher budgeted star driven studio fair. The kind of film that, well, that I love so much.

Don't get me wrong. Like the films mentioned above (and the many I have failed to mention), this isn't a masterpiece in terms of production value, acting or (sometimes) editing or direction but in terms of bang for buck well this film does what it says on the tin. In spades.

And lets face it I never watched Segal movies for the character development or plot. I watched them because I knew, just for that hour and a half, that I'd get to see some tubby white guy kick the crud out of a bunch of bad guys in inventive and fun ways.

But the strange thing is, for all its faults and over long running time, this film does just what I wanted. It offers an 80's styled action film that is true to the genre and superb fun to watch.

So, in short, if your idea of a good film is Citizen Kane, Remains of the Day or Notting Hill this film is not for you.

If however, like me, you grew up on a staple diet of action movies, body counts and ninjas then you 'Left For Dead' is that rare find… a butt kicking, head stomping 80's styled action romp that makes for almost 2 hours of mindless fun, bloody, guts and over the top martial arts moves.

--eye--
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1/10
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
14 July 2006
This film is Bad.

So bad it's bad.

So bad it should never be viewed again.

So bad it should be confined to the depths of hell along with the tape of George W Bush naked, covering himself in jello.

So bad all masters should be burnt in a ceremony in the middle of a nuclear testing zone.

So bad I'd rather wake up with only one arm and no eyes, next to a herpes ridden whore, a goat, a tube of KY Jelly, a copy of Gay Love and a butt naked Paulie Shaw in the middle of down town Bagdad wearing an I support Terrorism t-shirt, whilst the US army stands outside firing rounds into the building whilst prepping for a nuclear air raid to rein down hell fire on my head.

Yes it really is that bad!
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