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The Monkees: Monkee See, Monkee Die (1966)
The First Great Monkees Episode
This is possibly my favorite episode of the entire show. This is where the show's identity really coalesced, polishing out the roughness of the first episode and setting the tone for the rest of the first season.
Firstly, we have to mention the many quotable, iconic jokes from this episode. From the first appearance of Davy getting literally starry-eyed over a girl, to the classic first interaction between the boys and the butler, to that whole thing of sending out an SOS message to non-English speakers. My favorite gag is probably the one where they try to use a carrier pigeon, but really every joke lands here.
This episode features the first of many Monkees scripts written by Treva Silverman, and right off the bat it's a knockout. The story is another variation on the old dark house tale, but with enough new angles that it's refreshing instead of tiresome. Plus, it also acts as a precursor to "Scooby-Doo Where Are You?". It's got four teenage hippies going to a dark creepy place and having to stay there for whatever reason (fog, crashed boat, no gas, etc.). A mystery ensues with some spooky goings-on involving monsters and ghosts. After some cue hunting, comedic shenanigans, and a musical chase sequence, the ghouls are unmasked, revealing the whole thing to be a (inheritance/real estate/etc.) plot. In fact, the basic plot of this would be used in "A Night Of Fright Is No Delight" from the first season of Scooby-Doo (spooky house on an island, inheritance from a mysterious millionaire, inheritors picked off one by one), with only the culprits being different (here it's the missing inheritors, in Scoob it was the lawyers).
With all that in mind, I can't justify giving this episode anything less than a 10. It's just perfect.
Terror Train (2022)
Terror Train 2022 - But Why Though?
So what's with the CGI train? The movie already doesn't feel like it's really on a train and those shots aren't helping. I honestly thin using some miniatures would've resulted in a better looking train. With that out of the way, onto the story.
Nerdy frat pledge Kenny is promised a kiss from Alana, but what he gets instead is a kiss from a corpse. Now, that is all from the original, but here they actually explain the whole thing about the corpse before the prank even happens, which robs us of the reveal of it in the bed. While this is a change from the first story, it's not a very good one, but we're just getting started. Either way, others involved in this prank are Doc, Mo, and some others I don't remember nor care about.
Now it's three years later, and the friends are going to a graduation party on a train, this time being more around Halloween time instead of New Year's. Frankly, I'm fine with that change, it just gives more reason to make it a costume party. Someone kills a guy in a clown costume at the train station, stealing his costume so as to sneak aboard unnoticed. Now, many people have pointed out the similarity there, but I will begrudgingly defend the remake here. The original wasn't a clown costume, it was clearly Groucho Marx, while the remake opts for a regular scary clown.
On board the train (or maybe before they board, I don't care that much), we learn that the fraternity has a new president who's trying to clean it up a bit (and who apparently doesn't deserve a name - I vote we call him Columbo Jr for fun), upsetting Doc to no end. There's also an edgy magician who acts suspicious, a dude named Jackson in a lizard suit (like the original), a kindly train conductor named Carne, and her assistant Sadie. Killer clown tries and fails to stalk a few people, unable to get to tier 3 in time, and so settles for killing Jackson. Sadie later finds a dead Jackson sans lizard suit, so now we know that the killer has switched costumes. This was one of the big selling points of the original Terror Train, the costume switching meant you were never sure who the killer could be. Unfortunately, this is the only costume switch this time around, which makes me wonder why they brought it back at all.
Yadda, yadda, yadda, dumb, horny students get up to dumb, horny things. Sadie discovers body number one, but becomes convinced that it's just a prank. The lizard kills again, and this time his victim is a witch. We get more suspicious behavior from the magician, more dumb stuff from the students, and more of Sadie finding a body, this time with Alana accompanying her. Meanwhile, in the main party room, Mo has his throat slit while everyone is distracted by Red Herring's (sorry, the magician's) disappearing act. Alana and Sadie get back just in time to see Mo die, and I'm left wondering why I should care. I don't doubt that the actors are probably trying their best here (well, maybe they aren't, who knows), but the characters are just the worst mix of jerkish and bland that I couldn't really care less.
After Doc pulls the emergency brake, everyone finally realizes that this isn't another prank, and are finally a bit put off. At least, I think they are, most of them stand around chattering in a normal way in the immediate aftermath of this revelation, so maybe they're all fine with it. Carne says that the train will resume moving after they get a headcount on everyone present and conduct a search of the train, However, Doc doesn't want to hang around for the headcount, and he and Alana go to a VIP room to lock themselves in. After all, staying in a crowded room didn't help Mo, so how would that help them? Honestly, that's the most sensible thing I've heard all movie, and it actually started to sway me toward Doc's side here. Then I remembered that they were about to lock themselves in the VIP room, and anyone who's seen the original knows that's a sign that Doc is going to die now. Alana leaves to go searching for the magician, figuring he must be behind the killings, Sadie searches the train with an ax, and Doc gets tormented with videos of Kenny in the VIP room. Doc checks all of two places for the killer before giving up, while the lizard just walks up from out of frame, abandoning the cool mirror reveal from the first. Doc's throat gets slit in an uneventful way, and the lizard starts to saw off his head, but it cuts away before we get to see anything good.
Alana, Sadie, and Carne meet up in the party room, and go to the dressing room to check for the magician, who is predictably nowhere to be found. Carne breaks off from the others who make their back down the train, and find Doc's dead body. Unfortunately, we still don't get to see it. We see some legs poking out, a severed head falling out of a closet, and that's really it. Now, in the original the entire room was coated in blood, it was like wallpaper, with bits and pieces of Doc strewn about as decoration. Still, the killer might be back here somewhere, so best put Alana up in a nearby room while Sadie waits outside with an ax. What a great idea. Sadie hears something down the hall and goes to check it out, but it turns out the killer was actually on the other end of the hall, waiting for her to leave. Our killer, once again dressed as a clown, uses an identical ax to Sadie's (down to the little streaks on the blade) on the bed Alana's supposed to be in, but was tricked by the classic dummy routine.
Alana decks the killer and runs, starting a short chase that ends with Alana and the killer in a storage area in (I believe) the caboose. Alana locks herself in a little cage back there, and the killer grabs a long pole with a hook-like thing on the end to reach her with. He uses it to smash out the overhead lights before trying to skewer Alana through the bars of her pen. Now, this is all from the original film, but it doesn't quite work here. In the original he smashed out the lights to make the room darker, slowly getting closer to Alana with each light. Here, the room is much smaller than it was in the first, and even after the overhead lights are smashed there are still bright lights all around that the killer doesn't smash, making his earlier actions pointless. Why smash the overheads if you're not going to smash the others? Also, why smash them at all? She's not going to get scared as you get closer while breaking them, you're already right in front of her. This whole thing makes no sense, and it's really only there to further emulate the original.
Alana eventually escapes, but runs into, of all people, Kenny. Kenny goes on a creepy little talk about how he missed her and the others, how he still wants his kiss, yadda, yadda, yadda. Alana kisses him, then bites off his tongue, thinking Kenny was the killer. Then the freaking magician comes up out of nowhere and shoots Kenny. Where the hell did he come from? Where has he been? Why did he bring a gun onto a train full of students? What even is this movie anymore? The sound cuts away, and the music swells as Alana, Sadie, and the magician walk away as if the movie was over. Even if the movie had ended there, it didn't earn that music swell.
Moving on, Alana is on her own in a compartment, looking at pictures of her friends, when she sees something. It turns out Kenny couldn't have been the killer, because he was at the party dressed as a bunny the whole time! Le gasp! Alana grabs an ax, ready to kill the magician who she is absolutely, 100% sure is the real killer. However, when she and Sadie get to the dressing room, they find the magician's (apparently) dead body, stabbed with a bunch of swords.
With no leads left, Sadie and Alana head back to the caboose to confer with Carne. Carne tells Sadie to go back and grab the magician's gun, while she stays behind and protects Alana. It's then revealed that Carne was the killer the whole time! Again, le gasp. Carne was Kenny's mother, a twist that everyone and their mother saw coming. Carne attacks Alana, stabbing her multiple times before dragging her to the door of the caboose. She plans to throw Alana off the train, finally finishing her revenge for Kenny. Sadie comes back and tries to shoot the lock on the other door, but Carne had already emptied the gun beforehand. Alana then gets the upper hand by taking the knife out of her chest and stabbing Carne before shoving her off the train.
Later, we see Alana in an ambulance, safe after a night full of terror and peril. Also, somehow, the magician is apparently alive? I don't know, I saw paramedics wheeling off someone who looked like him, and he seemed to be alive there. Truly, his greatest trick yet. We then move back down the train tracks to where Carne had been shoved off, because yadda, yadda, yadda, one last scare. Sorry movie, I don't think a sequel is coming. Besides, what would be the point? But that's the question that defines this movie: What was even the point?
Still, the film was stupid enough to be enjoyable which is why it's getting a 4. Still, I can't but feel we just got fed more of the same crock Gus Van Sant sold with with his Psycho remake.
The House That Drips Blood on Alex (2010)
A Decent Short, Spooky Story
This wasn't that bad. It's obviously supposed to be a horror comedy, from the almost certainly on purpose hoaky lines, to the awkward charm that is clearly trying to recapture the magic that made "The Room" beloved (but this time on purpose). Plus, it was made by a comedy group. This is all to say that it's supposed to seem weird, awkward, and a bit bad. It's part of the comedy and the charm, and in that sense, I think it succeeds.
The story is pretty good, just one of those little tales you tell your friends, like the hookman or the babysitter killer. Sure, it's not anything we haven't seen before, but it doesn't need to be. It's just a nice little scary story.
On to the main selling point, Tommy Wiseau. I actually think Tommy's improved on his acting here. Sure, it's still not great, but it is better than it was, if only marginally. He's still a bit stilted in his delivery, but none of it had to be ADR'd (at least, as far as I can tell), which is an improvement. Plus, the directors/writers knew how to make the best use of his (admittedly limited) skillset.
I really liked that near-psychedelic dream sequence. Almost reminds of some of the more LSD like sequences in a Ken Russell film like "Lair of the White Worm". It's just a nice little touch that helps add a bit more flavor and color to the film.
There aren't many effects, mostly just the titular dripping blood, but said blood looks nice. The skeleton at the end also looks pretty good, with graying, decayed skin and ragged hair still clinging to the skull. Again, it's nothing to write home about, but it's pretty good, and it works for the film.
Anyways, there are far, far worse horror and horror comedy movies out there. This one was well shot, decently paced, and was entertaining to the end. Here's hoping Tommy's upcoming horror-comedy continues this trend. 7/10.
Bridge Across Time (1985)
A Decent, if Unoriginal, Film
"Terror at London Bridge" is a decent TV budget horror mystery. The cast does a good job of invoking the right emotions at the right moments, Hoff gives a good performance as usual. The effects are meh at best, which is sad as this is a Jack the Ripper movie. One would hope to see some actual ripping, and not just some light stabbing. The cinematography could be better, as could the lighting and the score, but the writing is good at least. It all adds up to an enjoyable middle of the road TV movie.
There is one thing that really bothers me though. This film seems like it's based on the William Nolan story "The Final Stone". In fact, Nolan wrote the script. The changes are so small that you'd barely know there were changes. Sure, there's the usual toning down for TV, but other than that, and some slight name changes, there's nothing different. So why didn't they credit his original story? It just kind of irks me. Not enough to deduct any points from the product, but enough that I would rather read the story instead.
Dead & Buried (1981)
They Had Me In The First Half... (Slight Spoilers)
First, I'd like to mention that during the opening sequence I kept pausing to check I had the right movie. I felt sure it had somehow been swapped with a romance film, what with the photographer and the lady on the beach. But no, the title kept coming up as "Dead & Buried". Not long after, I worried I accidentally put on a porno, thanks to that modeling the lady did, and that darn saxophone.
Anyways, after that bit of confusion wraps up, we delve into a neatly made film about the dead, the near departed, and the revived. Not the best zombie film, nor my favorite (I don't really have one, so I'll throw out "Zombie High"; although, I might have to change that now), but an exceptionally crafted one. The film takes it's time, delivering a slow burn of suspense and thrills, bringing to horror something that is now mostly left for thriller films alone (although I argue there's no real difference between horror and thriller).
The script is very good, well written, with good characters. The twists are intriguing, and pace moves along at a decent rate. The script takes these elements, makes come together to deliver a masterful slow burn.
The production was exceptional given the budget, lighting, sets, cinematography. The score, other than that sax, is wonderful, used just enough to pull the film together but not enough to make one sick of it. The music is not overly pompous or Wagnerian, as later film scores would tend to be, nor is it overly melodramatic, as earlier scores.
There is a tasteful use of gore, used to actually shock and scare the audience as needed, and in creative ways. It's not overused, it's not gratuitous, and it's not gore for gore's sake.
And of course, the acting was marvelous. Admittedly, I originally signed on to this to see more of Robert Englund's filmography, but every member of the cast is great. Englund helps to add a bit of color, the cherry on top.
Overall, this is one of the best zombie movies I've ever seen, one of the best low budget horror films, and without a doubt one of the most classic horror movies of the 1980's. 10/10.
The Weekend It Lives (1992)
Not the worst I've seen, but in the top 30
"Ax 'Em", or as it says here as I'm reviewing it, "The Weekend It Lives"(?), is a notorious bad horror film from the 90's. It has been said many a time that it is the absolute worst film ever made. Me, I think it's better than it's given credit for.
On a technical level, it's near barrel bottom, but not quite at the bottom. There are certain Stephen King Dollar Babies that are much worse in quality, and having seen too many for my own good before they were taken down, I can without a doubt say this movie isn't the worst. (There's also the matter of Terra Studios, but I try to forget them as much as possible.)
On an enjoyment level, it fares better. There are more funny, laughable moments than one might expect, although they peppered in scenes that are a bit boring and hard to watch. Still, there are enough for me to say it's worth checking out, which is more than I can say for other films. A movie, to me, has to be completely boring to be bad. A movie's job is to entertain, no matter how it gets that done. So, "Ax 'Em" does the job, and in that regard is better than such critically acclaimed works as "Citizen Kane".
Also, while this doesn't have any bearing on my verdict, I'd love to point out this one great comment on the YouTube upload of "Ax 'Em". It points out that Jordan Peele's "Us" owes a lot to "Ax 'Em", and that "Us" might even be a ripoff of it. I don't entirely agree, but then I didn't see "Us", so it might be true, who knows.
Anyways, final verdict, 2/10. Better than it's given credit for, but still really bad.
The Night of the Strangler (1972)
Exploitation With A Message
Now, I have to admit up front that the reason I watched this movie is because I'm a Monkeemaniac. However, I didn't let this love for all things Monkees to cloud my judgement regarding this film. Yes, the visual quality is not good. The film is very grainy, and a bit spotty in places. The boom shows up in a few scenes, you can see the shadow of a camera dolly on occasion, little things like that. However, the script was wonderful. This was a great story that shows the effects of hatred, and how hatred and violence are cyclical in nature. Now, to explain further I'm going to have to dive into spoiler territory, so if you haven't seen the film and want to, go do that first.
Anyways, a woman, Denise (Susan McCullough), comes home to tell her two brothers, Dan (James Ralston) and Vance (Micky Dolenz), that she's going to get married, and that she's pregnant. Dan is angry, but he becomes furious when he learns that she's in love with a black man, setting up the movie's themes of racial conflict early on. Later, Denise and her fiance are having a picnic, and an assassin shoots him. While Denise is grieving someone different enters her apartment, drowns her, and cuts her wrists to make it look like suicide. This is very important later.
Father Jessie (Chuck Patterson) has returned to.the local parish, and is asked to help reconcile Dan and Vance. Dan is getting married to Vance's former flame Carol (Ann Barret), who he got with while Vance was in Vietnam, and Vance is now with Ann (Katie Tilley). The two brothers are bitter towards each other, but it's not an all out hatred - yet. Dan fires the gardner Willie for what appears to be no good reason. He also has yet to pay the hitman he hired to kill Denise's fiance, and it's been weeks. Carol is killed by a venomous Asian snake that was hidden in some roses. Dan suspects Vance and disregards any other possibility. The police are baffled, but also secretly suspect Vance.
Gardner Willie attacks Dan on his boat, and Dan shoots him dead in self defense. Then, when he's calling someone about the moneyhe needs to pay the hitman, the hitman is at the dock preparing to kill Dan, but is shot by a guard. Ann and Vance get married, and see dan leaving as they exit the chapel. When Ann gets in their car she is shot by a.curare tipped arrow that had been placed in a spring board in the car. Vance immediately suspects Dan.
Vance goes to Dan's house, and grabs a knife from a nearby coat of arms. He stabs Dan as Dan comes down the stairs. In retaliation Dan shoot Vance three times. Bleeding but still alive, Dan collapses on the stairs. Then, Father Jesse enters, sits down next to Dan, and tells him the truth. His name is Jake, he's the real Father Jesse's twin, and the real Jesse was Denise's fiance. He wanted revenge on the Roberts for his brother's senseless death. As he said, "I had to burn my brother's body". So, he went and killed the nearest Roberts he knew, Denise. He then took over Jessie's identity so he could finish te famihly off.
Now, that's the plot of the film, an odd murder mystery that's not half bad. However, it's the representation of hatred and violence that gets me. The film shows how racism and hatred only begets more racism and hatred, shown when Dan's racist motivation's for Jessie's death lead to his and his family's own deaths at the hand of a hate-filled, vengeance seeking man (who may also be racist, if not quite as explicitly as Dan). It shows how hatred and violence are cyclical in nature, and how one cruel act can turn anyone into a killer. In that regard, it is an excellent story.
Now, as for the acting. Many have said that the acting is terrible, maybe serviceable at best. I have to wholeheartedly disagree with these assessments. On the contrary, considering how low budget the film was, I think the people they got for it are tremendous actors. All the performances are believable, turning these characters into real people with real emotions rather than just some one sided thing from the script of a two bit play/film. It's much better than what one comes to expect from much of the exploitation genre (and this was an exploitation film, make no mistake). Yes, some will point out films like "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", "Shaft", or maybe even "Blackula" (another film I love that I feel is severely underrated), but movies like that are the exception, not the rule. Of course, Micky is the best of those present, and I'm not just saying that because I liked his former work. He steals every scene that he's in. The performance of Chuck Patterson was also admirable, and I enjoyed every minute he was onscreen.
In the end, "The Night Of The Strangler" is an entertaining, exploitation murder mystery with a good message about hatred and racism, coming in at a solid 10/10.
Assimilate (2019)
Unsure, Entertained, and Better Than Citizen Kane
First, I want to make it clear that I went into this expecting a monster movie splatterfest. I didn't know it was rated PG, and that might've added to my initial dismay.
Also, I know it's derivative, but so are a lot of things. Everyone likes Midsommer, and that's derivative of 70's folk horror. And I don't it's derivative of The Body Snatcher or any of the affiliated adaptations of the story. It's more derivative of a classic Robert Heinlein novel "The Puppetmasters" than anything else. That one used slugs that create copies, this one used bugs.
That aside, it's not bad. I can't say if it's good or bad, it just leaves me in the middle, weirdly confused and entertained by what just happened. So, I'm just going rate this a 6. It's middling, but entertaining, and that;s the biggest requirement for a film. I don't care if you create a bunch of revolutionary techniques in filmmaking Mr. Wells, Citizen Kane was still boring to watch, while this wasn't.
Head (1968)
Misunderstood, Much Maligned, but hey, that's the Monkees
I would like to start by saying I'm not some aging hippie as one review pointed out I must be. I'd also like to point out that this movie is amazing.
The film transitions near-seamlessly between seemingly unrelated scenes constantly, creating a a wonderful hodge podge of comedy, drama, musical, and commentary. The cinematography is beautiful throughout. All the usual standards of direction, production, writing, acting, etc are met and surpassed.
What's really interesting here is what was trying to be said. This movie was an exercise in breaking the mold. The Monkees were tired of being seen as fake, as uncool, as Beatles ripoffs, as actors and not musicians, as something to laugh at because it's so stupid. The boys, Rafelson, and Nicholson concocted this during a session where they sat around, smoking weed and speaking to a tape recorder. (As such, I believe the Monkees should be given some story credit, but that's for another day.) This was their chance to be taken seriously. They made a movie that at once paid tribute to their public image by using the same kind of odd scene jumping comedy from the show, and burned it to the ground by making commentaries on everything from war, the counterculture, the film industry, music, life itself, and most importantly the notion that they were entirely fake. It's a film, and a mission statement.
Besides that, it's funny. The comedy parts really do work, and I always laugh whenever they come up. Even some of the parts that might not have meant to be funny I laugh at (I always return to that part with Frank Zappa and a talking cow).
Now, to the music. It's great. It's great, but what did you expect? It is the Monkees after all. In 1968 they were still at the top of their game musically, even if not commercially. You got songs by Gerry Coffin and Carole King, Mike Nesmith, Peter Tork, King again this time with Toni Stern, Rafelson and Nicholson, and the ever wonderful Harry Nilsson, and it's all amazing. Many consider the music from Head to be some of the Monkees best material, and it's absolutely true. From the dreamy psychedelics of "Porpoise Song", to the broadway-like number "Daddy's Song", to the raga-ish "Can You Dig It?" and the hard rocking nature of "Circle Sky". It's not a greatest hits package, but it might as well be. The incidental score is also great, and a bit of a shame it doesn't appear on the album.
This film is a treasure to Monkees fans, and a delight to anyone interested in fun, quirky movies with a touch of the non-sensical. There's also a longer, 110 minute cut out there that includes more Monkee madness in it, with more laughs and more odd moments, so if you like the theatrical cut, there is more.
Zombie High (1987)
An Amazing Film
I'm not going to summarize the story here; if you want to know it got watch the movie. I'm just going to say that, contrary to popular belief, this movie does indeed contain zombies, just not the ones most people know. The word zombie has more meaning than people seem to realize. There's the Romero 'Night Of The Living Dead" variety that most are familiar with, but there's more than just that. There's also the old voodoo zombies that are brought back by magic, usually to be used as slaves. There's the kind where you drug someone so they appear dead even to the trained eye, and then after all is said and done you kidnap them and use them for your own gain, continuously drugging them so they don't regain their memories or become too smart. Then there's this movies type of zombies, where it's a regular person who's either brain dead, lobotomized, or otherwise hypnotized into becoming perfectly capable, yet usually perfectly obedient, robot-like zombies.
Now, first things first, the writing. I felt that the writing here was pretty good, the conversations didn't feel forced, and the story was interesting. What we have here is a group of people from the 1800's who stay alive by injecting themselves with a serum made from the brains of others. One of the teachers replaces the missing brain piece with a crystal, resulting in the students becoming smarter, robotic, and subservient zombies. They control the students through classical music that connects to the crystals. Truly great stuff. A+
Still, a good script is nothing without a good cast, and this movie sure delivered on that end. Virginia Madsen does great work as Andrea, especially in later scenes as she grows more frightened and shocked. The ever lovely Richard Cox turns in a wonderful performance as Philo, a professor who administers the crystal, and who slowly starts to want to change his ways by helping Madsen's character. Everyone else does an amazing job as well, though if I kept going on and on I wouldn't be able to stop. A+
The music in the film is great. The incidental pieces are at times creepy, saddening, and beautiful, everything that they need to be. It truly elevates the film. There's also a number of rock and pop songs thrown in, and they are of a good enough quality that I find myself wishing these people had gone on to a career in music. After finishing this I'll be trying to get my hands on a copy of the soundtrack, that's for sure. A+
There's not much room for special effects in the movie, but what we do get is great. The blood looks as realistic as you could get at the time, the aging effects on Philo and the other teachers are phenomenal, and there's this great scene near the end where the teachers have aged so much that their flesh is rotting and falling off, and you can often see their bones underneath. These are more close to the type of zombies a modern viewer might be looking for. A fight to get some of the anti-aging serum erupts in a wine cellar, and as it drags on they just keep aging and rotting, until they're nothing but bones, and even a few of those keep moving. Then there's that final shot where Andrea and Barry are triumphantly riding off on his motorcycle to the tune of "Kiss My Butt", and the film takes on a "Take On Me"-esque look, all pencil drawn and stuff. Just incredible. Again, A+
Finally, the editing. This is the one part where I have to dock some points. There are some really odd cuts throughout the movie, sometimes barely giving characters enough time to finish speaking before it jumps away. There's a lot of odd dissolves placed between scenes that can sometimes ruin the mood. At times it seems like a new editor trying to show off all their new effects, which is incompetent, even for a student film. Also, there's times where the sound mixing is off, where the actors can't be heard over the music. Still, it suffices. B
Overall, an amazing horror movie from the 1980's that managed to slip through the cracks for many, and one that I will definitely be revisiting time and time again. Final score: A-
Megoladon (2018)
The Greatest Shark Movie Ever Made
Now, I know this is going to be a controversial opinion, but I've never really thought there were any truly great shark movies. "Deep Blue Sea" was okay, and "Jaws" paled in comparison to the book, or the previous Jaws type movie Spielberg made, "Duel", and none of the others really stood out (well, maybe "House Shark" and "Bad CGI Sharks"). But this, this is a great shark movie, and not only that but the greatest of shark movies. The special effects are top-notch, made on a state of the art Comodore 64 no doubt. The acting is terrific, you can feel the raw emotions of the characters in every scene. Alright, all joking aside, can someone please direct me to the person who made that Megoladon song that was played in the middle of the movie? 'Cause that song was really great, a real banger, and I genuinely enjoyed listening to it. Whoever made that is the best.
Stalin.exe (2017)
There's heart in it
Firstly, I wanted to put 6.5 but couldn't, so seven. Secondly, Stalin.exe is a short indie horror experience that delivers exactly what it promises, a Stalin horror movie. At first I wanted to trash how bad I thought it as, but then I realized it was actually on the same level as some of James Rolfe's stuff, which I love. So, I watched it again, and I noticed a few things. One, it delivers on the promise of it's premise. It says it's a short horror movie with a living Stalin statue,and it is. Two, the acting is pretty decent. Three, the effects on the Stalin bust are also pretty good. Four, and this is most important, you can tell that the filmmakers put their heart into this, that this wasn't just some random thing but a movie made by someone who likes to make movies. Again, the James Rolfe comparison is obvious. Plus, it's the perfect length for what it is at just over four minutes. I might still think badly of some of the other stuff I've seen by the same studio, but this one shows competence and promise. I hope to see more of this side of the studio's efforts as I go on.
Repo Man (1984)
An Unsuspecting Title
POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!
Now, I want it to be known that I went into this movie 1, not knowing too much about punk rock (I'd only just discovered Iggy Pop) and 2, not knowing what the movie was about or even what genre it was. At first I only watched "Repo Man" because of one man's name: Michael Nesmith. I didn't care what the film was, if it had Mike's name on it I would watch it. What followed was on of the greatest movie-watching experience of my life.
The first thing that hit me was that great theme song by Iggy Pop, an amazing little track that tells you you're in for something good. Then comes a scene with this cool looking Chevy Malibu being driven by a complete weirdo of a guy named Parnell. He gets pulled over by a cop and tricks the officer into looking into the trunk of the car. Now, I thought this movie was just going to become this little action-adventure flick when everything I thought I knew went crazy in a flash of light. The cop gets killed by an unknown energy and Parnell drives away.
That is just one of the more tame moments in the movie. What comes next is the tale of Otto (played to perfection by Emilio Estevez), a "white suburban punk" who seems like your stereotypical angry punk teen. He becomes a car repossession man after meeting Bud (played by Harry Dean Stanton). The film keeps switching between Otto's story, the hi-jinks of some of his 'friends', a government conspiracy involving aliens, and the Malibu. No matter what story thread we're following it always leads back to the Malibu; it's the central point that ties everything together in a neat little bow. However, the story can be a bit confusing because of all this. The characters are so compelling, though, that you find yourself not caring about the story as much; the story becomes secondary. As Otto goes on he becomes slightly more sympathetic, and he and Bud jive the movie heart, and lots of it.
By the time the third act starts you're really invested and you feel like you know these characters better than you own family. I won't spoil the big ending, but suffice to say it is spectacular and iconic.
The cinematography on this movie also needs to be talked about. It is goo, not amazing like something by Dean Cundey, but better than a lot of others. The actors deliver their lines really well there's some great stunts and car chases, and an overall feel of that special something called 'real entertainment'.
In closing, the movie is much better than a lot of stuff out there. It's not the best, but it's pretty close.