gears_chatroom_god Reviews

Iron Man (1994–1996)

"It's the direct object of the verb."

[7 May 2003]

The first season of "Iron Man" was written for the most part by Ron Friedman, who would be better known to most animation fans as the writer of "Transformers: The Movie." And, quite frankly, the first season of "Iron Man" sucked.

The overlarge cast of characters did not help Friedman's meandering scripts, which were usually needless complex (the first episode, "And The Sea Shall Give Up It's Dead," is a very good example of this) - and not in an intelligent way, more of a lurching, stumbling way. Crammed to the gills with awful pseudo-science which didn't make a lick of sense, bizarre, out-of-left-field dialogue (the title of this review is one such example, which Tony spontaneously recites while briefing his teammates), and ill-fitting humour that, for the most part, just wasn't funny, about the only thing this show had going for it was the animation, and even that was weaker than other shows on TV at the time. "Iron Man" season one was entirely too 80's to stack up against it's fellow Marvel shows, such as "X-Men" and "Spider-Man."

It's bizarre, because Friedman also wrote the first season of "Iron Man"'s sister show on the Marvel Action Hour, "Fantastic Four," and it was much better. The pseudo-science and humour WORKED on that show, sounding just right coming out of Mr. Fantastic and the Thing - Friedman seems to be a better hand at dealing with outer space fantasy than with the business-and-espionage world of Iron Man. Regrettably, FF was hampered by truly, truly appalling animation, which could have stepped right out of the 70's. To me, however, "Iron Man" was just the show I had to sit through before I could watch "Fantastic Four."

The SECOND season of "Iron Man," however, saw Marvel Productions switch animation houses, and the whole series got a makeover. Gone was Friedman - gone were the bad humour, oversized cast and stupid plots. The show started to make *sense.* Some of the changes were a little sudden, yes, and could have done with a little exposition to help them (Iron Man's new armour, the sudden appearance of HOMER), and it'd be lying to say that the shift in voice actors for the bulk of the cast wasn't jarring. Ultimately, though, the performances on the show were better in the second season, the animation was modernised, and there was finally a sense of arced plot, as we watched the Mandarin reclaim his rings.

You can bet your booties that if an "Iron Man" motion picture is produced, then some old episodes of this series will see a DVD/video re-release - hopefully they'll elect to go with the vastly superior second season.

X-Men: Evolution (2000–2003)

Defied expectations

[17 April 2003]

Okay, now, I'll be frank. When the first information on "X-Men: Evolution" was released, *everyone* thought it would suck. I did too.

Then, I saw it. And against all expectations, the product was a very, very good show.

There's a way to sum up people's attitudes - those who don't like it are largely those who can't get beyond the fact it doesn't follow the comics versions of the characters. Well, tough noogies, people, it's a different interpretation of the characters, and it's an interpretation that works extremely well. If you let a purist attitude blind you to enjoying them, then it's your loss.

Very few good cartoons have come out of America in the last couple of years, in part as a result of the over-reliance on Japanese animation, which is currently so popular. But of the few quality shows that were made, "X-Men: Evolution" is easily one of them. It's a series with a direction - underlying story threads and sub-plots are all intricately woven together, although sometimes they get a little buried under the focus of the episode, which can sometimes be something as boring as "new kids take jet for joyride."

Many of the characters aren't THAT different from their original selves, anyway, just made a bit younger. Rogue stands out as the character altered the most, but her new goth look is a brilliant take on the character, and a very welcome departure from the "Woe is me, Ah can't kiss anybody!" attitude that we've suffered through in the past. The show's "new" character, Spyke, is really quite needless, though - essentially a P-C version of Marrow (from the comics), he is reduced to a nonentity for much of the season season, because he just doesn't *need* to be there. And say what you will about Nightcrawler, but I just really wish they'd hired an actor who could DO a German accent.

Speaking of voice acting - "X-Men: Evolution" easily scores high points in that area, too (German accent notwithstanding...), with a lot of experienced talent lending their voices to the show. Beautiful animation - that's on a par with, and surpasses a lot of, the current wave of Japanese anime - finishes off the whole package - I swear, this is the only cartoon I have ever seen where *dancing* has been animated so well.

So, that's "X-Men: Evolution." Take it or leave it. But I recommend quite heartily that you take it.

Quest for Camelot (1998)

Blech.

[31 December 2002]

`Quest for Camelot' ranks among the worst animated movies I have ever seen. The plot is formulaic claptrap - a predictable story does not always a bad movie make, but it certainly does here, especially when played out with one dimensional, clichéd characters (take note - creating a creature with two heads that argue is no longer original or funny, thank you very much). If that wasn't bad enough, it is compounded by atrociously bad pacing of the story, a ridiculously forced love story subplot, some of the worst song placement that I can recall in a movie, feeble integration of CGI animation, dreadful attempts at lightening the mood with humour from characters other than the dragon that feels horrendously out of place (the stone creature's needless bout of flatulence is immediately brought to mind), and a moronic, baffling ending with absolutely zero explanation, that is made even worse by the fact that it is incredibly rushed.

The acting is horribly over-the-top and painful to listen to (the stupid voice given to the gryphon is a particularly good example), with the normally excellent Gary Oldman giving a dreadful performance as the villain of the piece who can't sing well or decide what kind of regional English accent he's supposed to have. The casting of the characters is not for suitability, but for star power - in addition to Oldman, this film sees Pierce Brosnan, Jane Seymour, Gabriel Byrne, Celine Dion, Andrea Corr, Sir John Gielgud, Don Rickles and Eric Idle tarnish their resumes with appearances. The only real *voice artist* in the whole thing is the excellent Frank Welker, who is wasted by only getting to provide birdcalls.

That is all.

Oh, the animation is sort of nice.

Sort of.

Unbreakable (2000)

Shyamalan does it again!

[30 September 2002]

I went into the cinema expecting to see laboured follow up to the "Sixth Sense", what I got instead was a truly original riveting story. First off, I would like to establish that I am a comics fan, so I would probably appreciate this story a lot more than someone who has never read or never wants to read a comic bomic in their life. Bruce Willis plays a truly captivating roles as ther lead character, he combines the right elements of unwillingness and disbelief to create a character who might as well be real. Meanwhile, Samuel L Jackson plays almost the opposite of Willis's character, which he does perfectly with very little hesitation in sinking into such a cunning role. Those two excellent actors preformances amplified by an outstanding script and director makes Unbreakable a treat fotr the mind, something which tries to take Superheros away from the tight spandex and laser bolts of fiction to the girtty realism of every day life. Also, I think it is important to ad that the ending, however not as shocking as in the Sixth sense, was a truly great twist for the story. It seems Shyamalan really did his research for this film and it pays off big time!

Static Shock (2000–2004)

Eh.

[25 July 2002]

"Static Shock" is not a BAD show... it's just got a few wrinkles that could be ironed out. Probably it's biggest problem it's this whole "blaxploitation" thing it's got going on. Okay, he's African-American, that's just peachy-keen, but it doesn't really make him any different from any other superhero, so there's no need to focus on it as such an important point of who and what he is. It's a problem that tends to plague African-American comic book characters, as writers always seem to think that they should be made down-home, hip-with-the-people style characters. Well, it's all just rather "blah." And I just find it rather quirky that almost all of the "Bang Babies" (the mutants created in an explosion during the series premiere) are African-American too, don't you? Although when the show STOPS being blaxploitation, it's highly watchable - the second season premiere comes to mind, which involves a crossover with Batman (and features the character designs and voice actors from Batman's own series).

The animation is quite decent, but the first season would have benefited GREATLY from the animators learning the meaning of the word "SHADOW." Everything was a very bland, single flood-filled colour. The second season has improved this, with real light and shading beind used (same goes for "The Zeta Project").

Anyhoo... it ain't bad. But it ain't great either.

Pokémon: Mewtwo Returns (2000 Video)

Unengaging

[28 May 2002]

Contrary to the other two reviews here, I was left underwhelmed by "Mewtwo Returns."

Now, don't get me wrong. I like Pokemon. I'm not a mad fan, or anything, but I like to watch it, and so I picked up "Mewtwo Returns" from a local store that had the price slashed down to a third for clearance.

It begins quite promisingly, with the usual Poke-setup of "our heroes" going on their way, and Team Rocket in the background, scheming away, and plenty of puns and sight gags. However, after about twenty minutes (that's a third of the film, kids), it becomes increasingly obvious that not a lot is really going to happen in this movie.

Mewtwo is perhaps the movie's main minus point, ironically enough. In "Pokemon: The First Movie," he was a great character because he was so powerful and because he *fought.* But in this movie, he's totally opposed to fighting - and when you consider that the entire Pokemon franchise is BASED on fighting, you know that's not the best thing to focus a movie on.

Mewtwo is brimming with angst, and normally I'd say that's a good thing, but in this case, it's totally unengaging angst that anyone who's read a "Spider-Man" comic in the last decade or so will have heard all before.

There so little action in this film that's it's painful. Instead, it's just endless soliloquays from Mewtwo, and one particularly monotonous scene where a clone Pikachu yammers on to Ash's Pikachu, and they squeak back and forth as Meowth translates it into possibly THE weakest "dramatic" dialogue that has graced the Pokemon series.

When Giovanni and the Team Rocket combat squad arrive, there's a lot of threatening and the possibility of some action actually *happening*... but alas, no. It's just more posturing by Giovanni and Mewtwo. Whenever Mewtwo pulls off his big final stunt, it's all done from a distance, then the screen fades to black, and we come back, and it's all happened off-screen.

The dull and cliched "we must protect the environment" sub-plot is hugely unnecessary, and only results in more empty, needless scenes that could be filled with something interesting.

The movie's score is dull and sparse - there isn't even any kind of rendition of the Pokemon theme.

Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005)

First season good, second season iffy

[28 May 2002]

I first encountered "Jackie Chan Adventures" by accident, while flipping channels one day. It was the first episode of the show, and as soon as I found out what it was, I laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of the show's concept, thinking it would be pretty awful.

As the first season progressed, I soon learned how wrong I was. A hugely witty, fast-paced, well-written show, with a great mix of action, comedy and a supernatural edge that all blended together to create a truly enjoyable TV experience. The high point of the season was surely the appearance of Hak Foo, who, with his massive build, extravagent hair, and urge to give names to his attack techniques, was clearly a well-aimed swipe at "Dragonball Z."

The fact he was voiced by Jim Cummings was a bonus, too.

However, for me, the second season has proved to be something of a disappointment. For starters, it begins with a double-dose of episodes which are set at different points DURING the first season, which really confused me, as it wasn't clearly stated. Then, the third episode was set in real-time, but was just a filler episode before the main season plot started. And there is where this season falls down.

FILLER.

The primary plot of the season is that Shendu has returned, and is seeking to free his demon bretheren from their interdimensional prison. A very good idea, which furthers the supernatural element of the previous season and kicks it up a couple of notches. And yes, when a demon appears in the series, it's a sign the episode will be a good one.

However, this season is nearly three times as long as the first one - but there are only seven demons. Hence, for every episode with a demon, there are roughly two or three episodes that are totally unrelated, and are nothing more than filler material where some random myth or legend is explored (and quite commonly bastardized). Often, the fillers are very poorly written, as well - a HORRIBLE episode about the Chupacabra comes to mind. It was quite possibly one of the worst things I've seen on television of late).

I get the impression that the filler episodes would be a lot better if they actually involved the Dark Hand, who are, to be honest, the only source of comedy in the show that's actually FUNNY (with the exception of Uncle, but he has not had nearly enough to do this season, other than use the phrase "chi spell" far, FAR too much). Though for some reason, Hak Foo, who is now a regular Dark Hang member in this season, is not nearly as funny as in season one. Perhaps it's because he only really worked for comedy purposes as a one-shot character, or maybe it's 'cause Cummings is no longer doing his voice.

This season is increasingly being dragged down by the fact they may as well rename it "Jade Chan Adventures." Jade is becoming the driving force behind every non-demon episode, and is FAR too involved in the demon episodes for the liking of myself or anyone else that I've discussed the show with. She's an annoying character, who is one of those individuals you *really* wish you could smack, but ya can't, 'cause it's just a cartoon. Her irritating pre-teen "gag me with a spoon" voice and attitude are, I would guess, supposed to make the show accessible to girls of her age, but they just annoy the hell out of everyone else.

The second season finale has not yet aired here in Ireland at the time of this writing, but it's coming soon, and hopefully it will make up for the fluctuating quality of this season.

Street Fighter Alpha (1999 Video)

What is with Chun-Li's butt?

[19 May 2002]

Spoilers ahead. You've been warned.

I was quite disappointed by this film, after enjoying the original animated feature so much.

There's so much in the film that's unexplored. Akuma is the focus of much of the promo material and the blurb on the back of the video/DVD packaging... and yet his appearance in the film it little more than a sixty-second cameo. IS Shun Ryu's brother or not? It's apparently implied that he isn't by his dying words, but if he's not - what IS he? Maybe the Japanese language version had it better, but it's very confusing and scrambled. The inclusion of the character of Sakura is utterly needless and adds nothing to the flim - perhaps if she had just been in a short cameo like some of the other game characters, and you could just point at the screen and go "hey, there's Sakura," and that was all, it would work better, but as it stands, she serves no purpose being the film at all.

My main problem with it is the general *pointlessness* of it all. By the end of the film, we're right back exactly where we started, and nothing's changed, except Ryu's a little better off.

Deeply, DEEPLY annoying is the animation team's apparently fascination with Chun-Li's butt, crotch and chest. Almost every shot of her opens up on one of these body parts, and when the camera's on other characters, one of these three parts is always poking into the screen from the side. It's very irritating.

I'm not even sure if this is supposed to be in the same continuity as the first SF movie, because there's a lot of things that don't match up, even if it's supposed to be acting as a prologue.

Basically, this film is trying to be something it shouldn't. Street Fighter shouldn't be about a deep, meaningful storyline - it should be about people beating the snot out of each other, which is what the first film was, and it was all the better for it.

Pelswick (2000–2002)

Good TV

[8 May 2002]

"Pelswick" is one of those shows that breaks the mould of it's subject matter. Produced by Nelvana, the Canadian company behind the US versions of shows such as "CardCaptors" and "Medabots," it's about the life of Pelswick Eggert, a young boy who's paralysed.

But, you see, this is NOT one of those after-school special shows where he must overcome the trials and tribulations of living life in a wheelchair. The fact that Pelswick is in a wheelchair has NOTHING to do with the show. There have, to the best of my recollection been roughly TWO episodes where the plot has had anything to do with his disability. All the rest of the time, it's a simple (albeit ker-ay-zee) story about teen life.

"Pelswick" totally passes by the disability aspect, and instead tackles the other aspects of teen life in an always-amusing manner. Various episodes have dealt with normal things like crushes, as well as as boy bands, trading card phenoms (an obvious swipe at Pokemon), freedom of speech, and other, more bizarre things such as pyramid scams.

Pelswick is aided - or more normally hindered - by his guardian angel, Mr. Jimmy (voice of David Arquette). It's an utterly bizarre addition to the story, but Mr. Jimmy is one of the funniest characters in the show, up there with Pelswick's grandmother, "Gram-Gram," and the school's eccentric principal.

"Pelswick" is the brainchild of John Calahan. Calahan himself is a dark-minded quadruplegic, which only serves to make "Pelswick" more enjoyable, as he is not afraid to make jokes about disability. For example, in one episode, Pelswick is trying to expose a phony psychic. The psychic tries to impress the townsfolk by saying "I see... an accident!" when looking at Pelswick. When asked for confirmation, Pelswick rolls his eyes, indicates his wheelchair and says: "No! This thing's just an elaborate belt buckle!" Indeed, one entire episode (one of the rare ones where Pelswick's disability is the focus of the story) is dedicated to how it's okay for jokes to be made about "differently-abled people" if the jokes themselves are being MADE by "differently-abled people" - an obvious statement on Calahan's position.

I also recently saw an episode of another of Calahan's creations, the name of which escapes me, but it's about a collection of disabled people living together. It's a more mature story, for adults (one of the characters is just a HEAD), but in one scene, the character with the broken spine is under a car, attempting to repair it, and remarks, "This is harder than I thought! I have no idea what I'm doing... AND I'm completely paralysed!"

Aaaanyway. "Pelswick" is bizarre, whacked-out television, that I urge you to watch. It's funny, and it's original. John Calahan has my deepest respect, and I hope that more shows will follow in the footsteps of this one.

CardCaptors (I) (2000–2003)

Depends on how you look at it

[16 March 2002]

When looked up as a dub of the original Japanese "Card Captor Sakura" series, "CardCaptors" embodies absolutely everything that is wrong with the dubbing process. Storylines butchered, plots changed, episodes cut to shreds and aired in different orders, etc, etc.

However, when viewed as a separate series unto itself - if you forget the Japanese version exists, just for a while - "CardCaptors" can be quite entertaining. Some of the dub changes can be VERY hard to swallow when you're aware of the true meaning behind things (Madison's in love with Sakura, Tori and Julian are an item, Li has a crush on Julian, etc), but it makes me laugh, and I can't help but enjoy it.

It does have it's flaws, though - specifically, it sets up a big plot arc... then does absolutely nothing with it. For example, season one - after excessive random card capturing, the concept of Sakura's dream is introduced, along with the mysterious teacher, Miss McKenzie. We then proceed to see Sakura's dream in every following episode, and Miss McKenzie acts more and more mysterious... but *nothing actually happens.* The mystery of the plot is not advanced in any way, save for the occasional mention of the enigmatic "Yue." Then it all comes crashing down at once. Same with season two - we're introduced to the new kid, Eli, who obviously has mystic powers, and two familiars like Keroberos and Yue, and yet all he does it put Sakura in peril from behind the scenes, over, and OVER, and OVER. The pacing of the series can be very bad - and then, you have to consider what it must be like for the Japanese viewers, as for us, there are a lot of episodes that don't get aired, and it STILL seems to take too long.

The animation's a bit iffy, as well. There are two sizes... short, and immensely tall. There's nothing in between. Plus all the adult men are exceptionally... pointy.

The way the Japanese writers overindulged themselves also grates. More than fifty percent of the main cast is homosexual or bisexual, which, towards the end, creates some problems because it threatens to affect the outcome which the writers want to have (Li and Sakura together). So it's all just shoved aside without so much as a by-your-leave. And there's never any reason given for why the cards had to BECOME Star Cards at all.

If you think too much about this show, you'll probably quickly stop being a fan of it. So just enjoy it for what it is.

Ghost in the Shell (1995)

Watch it about three times, THEN you'll get it...

[28 January 2002]

Like the header says, I really had to watch "Ghost in the Shell" about three times before I really and truly grasped the majority of what was going on. But after that... whoo, baby. What a movie.

With excellent animation and a storyline that really makes you think and pay attention, it's not hard to see why Ghost in the Shell is hailed as such a classic. But it's not without it's negative points.

For one, there are portions of the movie where the dialogue is terrible. And don't you start with me about that being the fault of the dub, because it isn't. What I'm talking about are the chunks of the script that are nothing more than bland, drawn-out, and at times, very unnecessary exposition. Take the scene with Motoko and Bateau on the boat. He makes a quip about her being drunk, and she responds with a slew of technical jargon explaining why she can't be. Uh, Motoko... he's a cyborg too... he KNOWS. SHUT UP. These periods of exposition can also be very important to the plot, but they suffer from being over-long, and over-worded, meaning a casual viewer is really going to get lost if they can't follow it. That's why I had to watch it three times. /:)

My other large gripe is the poorly-placed musical numbers. I probably wouldn't mind them too much, but for the fact that they're being sung by what appears to be a choir of Japanese schoolgirls screeching like demons.

Also, for the US dub, Motoko's voice actress is a serious let-down. The quality of her acting wavers throughout, dipping to "outright awful" and never moving above "kinda decent." The rest of the cast is good, though, with many dubbing veterans lending their voices (almost all of them use pseudonyms, though, as GitS is a non-union project).

Also, I don't find the nudity sexy in any way. It feels terribly tacked on, and it's just not sexy. Motoko has an over-muscled body which isn't attractive.

Aaaanyway, beyond all of that, it's a damnably entertaining film. It just needs more action and less talk. But, hey, there's a sequel coming soon...

Invasion America (1998)

Nifty idea

[10 January 2002]

A primetime animated show that's not the Simpsons is a rare thing. "Invasion America" has a good basis, and a very talented cast - I'm BEYOND happy to see that it consists of REAL voice acting veterans like Kath Soucie and Jim Cummings, rather than relying on a cast entirely of celebrities, though Leonard Nimoy makes a great Konrad.

However, I find that the show is lacking in some places. First and foremost, I was expecting some cutting edge animation - real flashy, maybe even anime-style stuff. Instead, what I got was rather second-rate stuff, of lower quality that one might see on a high-end Saturday morning cartoon (I was at LEAST expecting stuff up to the quality of "Gargoyles"). The lighting and colouring is trying to be atmospheric, but just winds up making it look rather obscure. Also, the CGI, while nicely done, was seriously out of place.

The dialogue needed some help, too, although the actual language of the aliens was rather well implemented. I usually hate that sort of thing, but it didn't bother me here.

If you're a fan of animation, you should give the show a look. Outside of things like "Beast Wars," "Beast Machines" and "X-Men Evolution," very little enjoyable, watchable animation has come out of American studios in recent years (this whole "Anime" thing that's everywhere you go now...).