varsania Reviews

Tales from the Hood 2 (2018 Video)

Good Fun Flick with some Good Stories

[7/10 · 23 October 2018]

Despite the numerous negative 1* reviews I decided to devote some time to watch this movie primarily because it starred my main man Keith David. Love his facial expressions and distinctive booming voice.

The first story was a bit weird but informative about the history of the Golliwog. Starring the stunning Alexandria DeBerry the story was OK but the ending a bit weird.

The rest of the stories were pretty good my favourite being the kidnapping gone wrong one.

Sherpa (2015)

Excellent Account of Life on the Mountain

[10/10 · 21 July 2016]

I watched this film expecting a documentary on life for Sherpa's on the mountain. However what I experienced was a great insight into the actual lives of the Sherpa's and how they are treated by the westerners. Unsurprisingly some tourists were quite rude and arrogant towards the Sherpa's, but what I did not expect to see was the complete lack of integrity and regard shown to the Sherpas by the expedition organisers. Richard Brice is a complete callous individual and his attitude after the avalanche was unconscionable. Making up lies and spreading rumours about the Sherpas trying to turn them against each other is vicious. I am glad that Phurba saw through it all. SOme of the tourists are very rude, especially the Americans. The lack of sympathy shown to the Sherpas after the avalanche by some of the tourists and expedition leaders is horrendous. Seeing the little boy cry after hearing that his dad died on the mountain was truly heartbreaking to watch.

I am very glad I watched this documentary and am grateful to the people who made it as it has given me greater insight into the way humans treat each other in times of disaster. And it is not pretty.

Killing Season (2013)

JT Most Funniest Role to Date

[7/10 · 9 September 2013]

This is a highly enjoyable film. JT steals the show with his excellent comedic portrayal of a Croat I think, or Bosnian, or Serb, I can never tell which is which. However, his character is absolutely hilarious. His look, his back painted on hair and beard, his hilarious accent, his script ("It's that shooting pain in your right leg again!" De Niro's shooting pain in his right leg is a running joke throughout this film), just made me laugh whenever I saw him, and heard him speak. The scene in the old abandoned church was the best. It had me in stitches for ages.

In closing, I would recommend this film to anyone who wants to enjoy a good 90mins of JT being incredibly funny.

Mid Morning Matters with Alan Partridge (2010–2016)

Extrapolation of a Genius

[10/10 · 4 June 2013]

Knowing me, Knowing you, Alan Partridge. I'm Alan Partridge, Saxondale, and now MMMwAP. It's just a continuation of comedy par excellence ala Steve Coogan. Brilliantly written comedy delivered expertly by Steve Coogan and he has unearthed another gem in Tim Keys as Sidekick Simon. Tim Keys plays his foil brilliantly and is extremely funny in his own right. I love the way AP puts SS down by playing his jingle Sidekick Simon, that is comedy gold in itself. However the whole series is littered with great lines and sequences. My absolute favourite has to be during his segment of the best things ever and a caller calls in saying sliced bread. Just amazing stuff!!!

Wrong Is Right (1982)

Very Clever and Well Played Film

[5 September 2011]

I found this film to be extremely sharp and clever. I was expecting a comedy and although it is funny, it is more sharp political satire than pure belly laughs. It is very well written, characters played by brilliant actors, and is prophetic in its story. Pretty much depicts Desert Storm 1 and 2, the War on Terrorism, 10 - 20 years before they happen. The line "Don't bomb the oil wells!" pretty much sums it up. The Americans wanted an excuse to bomb the middle east to grab the oil money, used the nuclear bomb threat against NY to do just that to give them the right to hit back, and like I mentioned earlier, don't bomb the oil wells!.

Great film and highly recommended viewing.

Saxondale (2006–2007)

British Masterpiece

[10/10 · 23 June 2011]

Saxondale is right up there with the best of British comedies. Steve Coogan has created a fantastically original, well played, scripted comedy on a par with his other great Alan Partridge. All the characters are brilliant, even the small parts like angry man at the anger management sessions I thought were great. His expressions sheer class. Needless to say Tommy Saxondale's character is especially funny. His little nuances, expressions, and all round persona highly entertaining.

The second series I preferred to the first as it introduced even more interesting characters like angry man, annoying neighbour. The musical score is also top notch.

I'm disappointing that it ended in just 2 series, I think it could have gone on longer for maybe 3 to 4 series. The talent to create more episodes is there. 10 out of 10 for sheer comedic entertaining.

American Dad!: A Smith in the Hand (2005) Season 1, Episode 9

Funniest Episode ever, anywhere, anytime

[3 April 2006]

I've seen a lot of comedy and this particular episode is by far the funniest I have seen. I have seen all Simpsons, Family Guy, but episode of American Dad cracked me so consistently up. It's brilliant!! American Dad is the best comedy I have ever seen and I cannot wait to get hold of the DVD. I just hope that there are many more series to come. I thought Family Guy couldn't be beat but I was wrong, American Dad is even funnier. Stan Smith is a wonderfully comic character, and when he went into the trash can to try and find some more tubes of cream I thought was incredibly funny, as was the scene where Francine forgot something and catches Stan with his pants down. Awesome stuff!

Cold Creek Manor (2003)

What is this??

[1/10 · 5 October 2005]

Nonsense. Worst film ever. Insipid, boring, unimaginative, bathetic. A far cry from Figgis' classics like Leaving Las Vegas and Liebestraum. If I were he I'd be ashamed to have my name attached to such a truly naff film. The storyline is wafer thin, no substance to it at all. No twists, no turns, the characters are 1 dimensional if that. Christopher Plummer was alright though, he managed to salvage something, although this was more to do with his acting genius rather than a decent script. If IMDb were able to allow a rating of 0 I'd have chosen that. It isn't even worthy of a 1 rating. Whilst watching I was wondering if this film went straight to video, it were that bad. Quaid was his boring self, Stone was unsexy, Dorff was a dork, no change there then. In short, stay away.

Guest House Paradiso (1999)

Feeb! 1 boiled egg.

[10/10 · 4 April 2005]

This film had some very funny moments. The aforementioned feeb sketch for starters.

The parts where Rik tries to act dignified in front of his guests, looking down at them through his nose. Very subtly done, especially as the guest was a toffee nosed adulterer himself.

The scene where Rik finds out that Gina has a fiancé, "Ahhh. She was stringing me along all the time, the brazen hussy." with his 2 candle eyes. Like as if she really fancied him. But he believed it. That's why it was so funny. Great moment.

Gino was also excellent. He should have been used more as the bad man. "Where are the whores I ordered!" he bellows. Brilliant stuff.

The Comic Strip Presents (1982– )

You what?

[9 February 2005]

You what? You what you what you what? Keith Allen is the master of yob culture telly. The Yob! is like my favourite all time classic Comic Strip Presents episode. A yobbo Arsenal fan racist thug swaps brains with a yuppie pop video director. Only a genius like Keith Allen could have come up with an idea like this. Especially like the scene where he physically transforms into the yob and his frontal lobes protrudes outwardly. Brilliant. Then the scene where he goes out of the pub shouting "You're gonna get you're f*ing head kicked!" in true yob like style.

Brilliant.

Ted Bundy (2002)

Enjoyable film.

[29 July 2004]

Spoilers ahoy!!

I loved this film. Michael Reilly Burke is a great actor and plays Ted with menacing brilliance, with just a hint of sarcasm. Some of the scenes are chillingly awesome and I take my hat off to the director for creating such vivid scenes. Best of all was the scene where Ted chases fat girl in the woods. She is screaming and panicking, trying to get away from him as fast as possible but she is simply hapless, and Ted is behind her chasing her mockingly.

I refute previews reviewers who complain about the film not showing how he got caught. I mean, it's pretty obvious that if the most wanted man in America escapes and then walks around town with no disguise at all, he will be eventually spotted and the police will eventually catch him. No complex detective work required here. So instead the film focuses more on Ted's behaviour, which I personally prefer to see, to get an insight into the mind of this maniac.

Scary Movie 3 (2003)

Switch off after 10 mins

[26 January 2004]

You might as well leave after the opening scene. Pammi is looking better and fuller than ever and she ain't shy about it either. Once she has gone there isn't much substance left in the film. Just the usual banal gaggs. It would've been better if Pammi was playing the lead. Then at least it would have been worth watching for her if for nothing else.

Blackadder (1982–1983)

15 years of saying pardon.

[26 January 2004]

The best of the lot. Very funny script, brilliant cast, superbly acted. I prefer Edmund as this type of meek, slimy character than in later series. Also Balders is better suited as intelligent than stupid, that character is already brilliantly done by Percy.

Each episode has a uniquely funny story. The Archbishop one where Baldrick makes holy artifacts is extremely funny. Especially as Percy thinks he bought a real artifact only to discover that it's one of Baldricks.

He marries an 8 year old princess in another episode. Very original humour, and the little princess herself is extremely funny. The way she laughs at the Vicar is hilarious.

Witchsmeller Persuivant, another great episode, possibly the best but its difficult to distinguish which is the best as they are all so good. Frank Finlay is so believable as the witch, his voice, expressions, the way he cross examines Edmund in court and entraps him. Pure genius.

The last one is fantastic. I love the way he finally gets revenge on his dad by forming an army of the 6 most evil men in England. All with uniquely evil attributes.

I don't think 6 episodes is enough for this first series. There is so much comedy there to fill 12 episodes at least. Still the second and third series, although inferior did not disappoint. The fourth however did.

Will always remain as one of the great British classics.

Bullet (1996)

Brilliantly written, genius dialogue.

[10/10 · 5 November 2003]

This film is of the highest order. From the Show & A soundtrack to the excellent script to the brilliant acting.

I wonder how they came up with some of the lines in the scenes, pure genius. Characters are very well defined and entertaining, as they should be. Louis is fantastic, Butchie is brilliant, Tank is pure gangsta. Cookie, Sal, Frankie Eyelashes, Lester. This film is banging from the door!!

Loved the scene when Louis was training his elite army. The end of that scene shows Louis' gentle nature, when congratulating Stanley on his good demonstration. Basically everything Louis says or does is entertaining. "Would you like to eat Louis? I'm making Schmoltsen Gurdle soup, it's your fathers and Butchies favourite." Louis replies, "No thank you ma. The Pretzki's have left the cat out, I'll just nosh on that."

The toilet club scene is also top class. Just think about it. Those 2 punks Brian and Jamie, robbed and humiliated by Bullet in the Projects earlier on, decide to get revenge by planning to do him over with 3 more of their friends in the toilets. To think that they must have been watching him and planning their actions all this time. The 5 of them follow him to the toilets, 5 against 1 would seem like a lot but Bullet is seriously tough and the punks are pussies. Jamie pulls out his little flick knife which is very brave considering that Bullet has a penchant for stabbing peoples eyes out. Jamie acts tough, Brian too, their 3 friends watch on. Jaime goes for Bullet with the knife, Bullet grabs them both, throws them against the wall and scares the hell out of them. Obviously the 3 friends they called for backup run for it. "You didn't say this guy was crazy! We out of here!"Brian says "Fuckin' pussies!Please don't hurt him" which I find strange as they are both thrown against the wall, not just Jaime. Bullet lets them go, lectures them and they make their way out. I would love to have seen a follow up scene where Jaime and Brian catch up with their friends. I bet Jaime said he beat Bullet up or something. Absolutely brilliant. However this film is full of brilliant scenes. Dinner scene, fight scene, death scene, end scene, all scenes involving Tank. I would highly recommend this film to everyone.

Body Double (1984)

I like to watch.

[10/10 · 25 August 2003]

This is a very entertaining film. Craig Wasson is superb as the lead role. I have read all the reviews comparing it to Hitchcock thrillers but really would Alfred Hitchcock put Holly Johnson Frankie Goes to Hollywood Relax in the film? I think not. This is a film in it's own right. The Relax video is sheer genius. The way it slipped into the film was very cleverly done.

A lot has been said about the nudity but there was very little in my book. I'dve preferred to see more. I would also have liked to see Craig Wasson be a bit more pervy too. Having said that the knicker scene was very good!

U-571 (2000)

Factually incorrect, totally implausible.

[11 July 2003]

!!! Spoilers ahoy!! This film does not do justice to the people who experienced WW2. It is typical hollywood trashy film. How the Americans could even think that they can pass an old clapped out US sub for a state of the art German U boat just by sticking a badge on it I do not know. It insults the intelligence of both the Americans and the Germans. Sending out a crew in that is surely condemning the crew to a watery grave.

Radar. When the disguised American sub approached the real U boat would it not appear on the radar? And would not radio contact follow? And therefore code words used by the German crew? ANd therefore would not the Americans be sussed out way before they actually got close enough to discuss the quality of French porn? This is war, and in war certain practices are followed. They crew are well drilled. And why was there not a Nazi salute in the entire film?

The American crew ran the real German U boat like as if it were their own. I fail to understand how a German engineered boat would in any way be similar to and American one. Yet we are to belive that just by translating a few labels a foreign crew can run a sub, and not just run it but use it in battle? Very doubtful.

The scene where the American soldier gets shot point blank by the Nazi, another example of stupidity. 1 bullet shot at point blank range and the victim is felled instantly. Shot dead. Not 4.

I could go on but you get the drift. Other than that the film is watchable as the story is quite good.

48 Hrs. (1982)

Great film!

[10/10 · 6 July 2003]

One of the best. Brilliantly acted, very good scenes, the scene in redneck bar and the scene where the boss has a rant after the infamous bus losing incident are the best. The boss is excellent. The way he delivers his lines with such anger, and the lines themselves are very hard. "YOU GO F*** YOURSELF CONVICT!!!" is my favourite of the whole film. The look on Eddie's face is priceless. Just proves how class an actor he is, if proof be necessary.

Redneck bar scene is equally good. The music the band are playing fits the scene beautifully. The dancing stripper adds to the value of the scene too. She's great.

A flawless film, Eddie Murphy's best work too in my opinion.

To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)

They don't make them like this anymore.

[10/10 · 15 January 2003]

I have seen this film over 25 times and each time I notice another subtlety the brilliant Friedkin has put into this film. The film itself is the finest ever produced, in terms of directorship, casting, acting, plot, characterisation, soundtrack, and setting. You will never find a film again with the quality of actors in this film. Turturro, Dafoe, Pederson, Pankow, Stockwell. Even Chance's boss is highly complex, and he has only a small part. The way he does everything buy the book, its hilarious.

Sure there are a few flaws in this film, but these can be brushed aside because of the genius of the movie. In particular just before Chance goes into the wrong side of the freeway, I find it pretty inplausible that with all those FBI's cornering Chance and Vukovic, they just let him accelerate away. I also do not understand why Masters agreed to do business with Chance even though he knew he was US Secret Service. But this film is far to classy to worry about those minor details. THis film has some great moments, and superb lines. Watch it yourself and you will see what I mean. But I recommend you watch it at least 2 times to fully appreciate the quality of this film. It's superb.

Scarface (1983)

Amateurish, ragtag film. Nonsensical garbage.

[1/10 · 4 May 2002]

I thought this film would be alright. Looked good from the opening few scenes, then it became seriously flawed. Pacino's character is very comical, and it's whole depiction of the drug world is laughable. In the end it just became a farce, a real farce. The Three Stooges couldn't have played it better themselves.

It gives the viewer the illusion that the drugs trade is run by a bunch of monkeys, who live in big palaces, garish decor, and have piles of coke on their desks!! And they shout their mouths off and take a hundred bullets without dropping.

No, not a good film at all. Very amateurishly done, by a bunch of cowboys.

Human Traffic (1999)

Sickly film

[11 April 2002]

I am loathed to comment on how incredibly toilet this film is. But I feel that it is my duty to do so.

Basically, it's a film about a group of Welsh kids who think that they are hip just because they go out clubbin' every weekend and drop Es and this film is about one weekend they go out clubbin' and drop Es. And that is it.

Pathetic drivel.

The Office (2001–2003)

Flawless comedy.

[29 January 2002]

This serial has it all. Excellently funny characters, great gags, scenarios, the job lot. Dave is superb. His mannerisms, his use of words, facial expressions, his jokes, brilliant. It's a pity that there aren't any real bosses like him else there will never be any work done.

His best mate Finchy is such a scream. Obviously top dog on the show. The biggest draw. His rapier like wit goes hand in hand with his intelligence. Possesses an IQ of 144 I believe. There is never a dull moment when Dave and Finchy are around, what a double act.

This has set the standard for all others to follow. The only other show that comes close is Family Guy, and now that has been plugged. Yanks don't know a good thing if it bit them on thier bottoms. Nevermind, at least we have Ricky.

Wild Wild West (1999)

Typical Will Smith dross

[2 July 2001]

I only watched this film because Ted Levine was in it. As soon as his work was done I simply switched off. I never watch Will Smith films ever since I had the misfortune of seeing Independence Day. Since that fateful day I avoided his stuff like the plague. He has no talent, character, wit, infact he has no redeeming qualities at all. It is only due to his gullible fans that he has fame.

As for naming July 4th Big Willy Day, well that just says it all. Pompous prick.

I'm Alan Partridge (1997– )

Simply the best.

[10/10 · 21 June 2001]

An incredible piece of comedy. Characters are hilarious, as well as Alan, Michael the geordie is brilliant. Steve Coogan has taken his character to new levels of comedy in this series.

My favourite moment in the entire series is when he has lunch with the Irish TV producers. Alan's interpretation of Sunday bloody Sunday is inspired, and his reference to the Irish famine whilst scoffing himself is brilliant.

Why can't the Americans produce comedy of this quality instead of serving up dross such as Friends, Ally McBeal (not sure if you can even class that as comedy)?

Caddyshack (1980)

Top notch!! Top notch!!

[10/10 · 18 June 2001]

This film is pure magic. Poetry in motion picture. Outrageous gags, hilarious cast, I can only echo what so many have said before me. Simply too many funny scenes to mention. Bill Murray caddying for the Dalai Lama, can a more preposterous idea possibly ever be conceived? Add to that a wonderful soundtrack and you could see why this film is still lauded today. It makes a mockery of these supposed modern day flicks of mirth, they simply cannot touch the levels of humour that Caddyshack reaches. Everyone connected with this production should have gotten an Oscar.

Top notch!!

Family Guy (1999– )

Lucky is a Family Guy viewer.

[13 June 2001]

I absolutely adore Family Guy. Fresh, original, and most importantly it is hilarious. The characters are fantastic, even the periphery ones are funny, especially Quagmire (what a name!), and the Quahog News Desk. Of course Stewie stands out as the most outrageous of characters. With an accent to match his wit. It is a pity that it has not been given the respect it so richly deserved by the network, cast aside just because it is different. I for one truly appreciate Family Guy and relish every episode.

Long may it continue.