ceasentry Reviews

Persuasion (I) (2022)

50 Shades of Cringe.

[2/10 · 22 July 2022]

This was simply an abomination. Period-inappropriate behaviour, period-inappropriate language, unlikable characters and cast that had about as much chemistry as two bottles of distilled water. The characters actually used a word that has not been even invented till about 200 years later ("empath") and you can see Ms. Dakota actually mouth the "F" word in one scene?! Not to mention Ms. Dakota's wondering accent. (Pick a lane, girl!) Jane Austen's stories had grace, beauty, hope and romance. I found none of those things in this "adaptation". All the characters were unappealing and obnoxious and the "leading man" looked like he had something distasteful in his mouth half the time and simply cross-eyed the other half. I kept wishing he'd go back to sea and drown. Huge disappointment.

Legion (2017–2019)

Trippy, and not for everyone...

[9/10 · 19 May 2022]

This show will not appeal to everyone, however, if you go into it with an open mind and let go of your expectations, you may just enjoy it. A lot. Personally I had a hard time getting into it for the first 2 episodes and almost ditched it. I'm glad I didn't. What a wild ride it is. Imagine "Alice in Wonderland" crossed with "X-Men" crossed with a brilliant writer's acid-induced trip. It's wild and crazy but strangely enough it makes a lot of sense and it's not hard to follow. Brilliant, one of a kind show I will not forget anytime soon. May have to watch it again soon.

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

6 or 9, depending on your expectations.

[8/10 · 6 January 2022]

The scoop is simple: If you were expecting a revolutionary, exciting new sci-fi story like the very first Matrix provided, you will be disappointed and probably give it a 5 or a 6 out of 10. It's basically same old same old with some updated tech which was never really explained and a bit confusing (seems to allow them to pop into the matrix anytime/any place but not able to extract them when they are in trouble).

However, if you are a long standing Matrix fan and a romantic at heart and were heartbroken when Trinity died; if you want more of the same and hope for lots of flashbacks to the series you love, If you live for the nods to your favourite moments and just genuinely love the characters and the actors that play them, you will not be disappointed and will give it a 9 or a 10.

The story drags a bit and is kinda aimless in the beginning and about 3/4 through the movie I started looking at my watch because I didn't think there was enough time to actually finish the story. Also, one of the main characters speaks so quickly and softly in the first half of the movie that I could not understand what she was saying. Just kinda guessed. It gets better later or maybe I just got used to her way of speaking.

I'm from the second category I described above and thoroughly enjoyed Matrix Resurrections. It wasn't one of the greatest movies I've ever seen, but it was fun and nostalgic and I was entertained. Quite a few scenes had me laughing out loud and I came out of it satisfied. Will probably go see it again just to see all the old Matrix connections again. Now, if only someone did that for Star Wars and Ben and Rey.

A Castle for Christmas (2021)

Meh, what a disappointment.

[4/10 · 2 December 2021]

Really, just a waste of time. Brooke Shields can't act and has lost her beauty that carried her in the past. In fact, she is a terrible actress. Wooden and fake. The story is full of cliches, poorly written, badly acted. Predictable, uninteresting and just plain boring. Nothing to catch my interest. Don't waste your time.

The Handmaid's Tale: The Crossing (2021) Season 4, Episode 3

Will this ever die?

[4/10 · 27 October 2021]

Escaped again. Caught again. And escaped again, And caught again. Oh, and escaped again... Why the networks won't let a good show die a natural death and end when it's time (where the book ended), I will never understand. I guess they gotta milk the cow till it's dry. This is getting boring. Especially this episode - Miss Moss' directorial debut. A lot of long shots of people walking, looking at each other, slow mo shots.... (insert rolling eyes). Miss Moss should stick to acting.

And speaking of escaping. Exactly how far do they think they'll get? They're on foot and there is a car pursuing them. The trains don't take that long. What maybe 5 min tops? Wow, great escape plan. Or bad writing. Or both.

Van Helsing: Help Me (2016) Season 1, Episode 1

How did this thing ever get off the ground???

[4/10 · 26 July 2021]

Honestly. Cliche story, somebody got vampires mixed up with zombies, writing is cringeworthy, editing forgot the music somewhere mid-episode and the viewer is forced to endure a cross between a bad soap opera and a C roll horror in a theatre-like atmosphere. And then this monstrosity lasted for 5 seasons but shows like Manifest get canceled? How????

Chaos Walking (2021)

Don't expect much

[6/10 · 15 June 2021]

If you watch it, don't expect epic storytelling. If your expectations are low chances are you'll enjoy it. Story is a bit weak: things happen that audience would like answers to but are never given. The manifestation of the thoughts can be disorienting and hard to follow sometimes. Acting is just ok. The ending didn't make sense to me at all. Why would you settle on a planet that already has a native population (oh, never mind, we're talking humans here) and has a condition which sets the two genders at an unequal footing from the start creating all sorts of conflicts. Talk about starting a race with a broken leg... it obviously made some men go mad, and no wonder, so yeah, let's settle here. Honestly, I got the biggest kick out of the fact that Rey (Skywalker) and the Spiderman visited Quebec for a while, which is only one province over from me.

Yellowstone: Daybreak (2018) Season 1, Episode 1

Fake Longmire Wannabe.

[2/10 · 4 January 2021]

The first scene was totally unnecessary and seemed to be included for shock value only. I could not get past the "horse guy" who, in a couple of hours, had a halter on a wild stallion, had it on a tiny trailer, tied down, and then got on the said trailer with the WILD STALLION while it was still tied and turned it around to back it out. And lived, not even a scratch on him. Did I mention this was supposed to be a wild band stallion being separated from his herd? If the rest of the show is this authentic then it's a waste of time. Lost me at the stallion and I love anything horse and wester related.

The Devil All the Time (2020)

A Depressing, Disturbing Masterpiece.

[7/10 · 11 October 2020]

I admit I was attracted to this movie only because of the cast but it pulled me in like a black hole once I started watching. Masterfully acted and edited, this movie is a little world of its own and once you enter it, it's hard to leave it. So many movies on Netflix you watch and then a couple of days later you can't even remember them. This one will definitely stay with you for a long time. But a little caveat: If you are easily depressed or an empath, consider steering clear. It is a dark, evil world and it WILL affect you. I considered turning it off at a couple of points because it was hard to watch, but continued hoping there would be a ray of sunshine at the end. There isn't. I do not know who Donald Ray Pollock is but he is either a genius writer or needs to have a thorough psychological evaluation.

Unorthodox (2020)

Simply a gem.

[9/10 · 20 September 2020]

This was such a breath of fresh air. Fascinating story told through a masterful use of flashbacks and present. Flashbacks, in unskilled hands, are often confusing, but not in this series. The acting, especially by Shira Haas, is simply SUPERB. We get an intimate view into a community most people know little about. It's shocking, at times infuriating, and educational. I normally don't like movies with subtitles but in Unorthodox I found the mix of Yiddish, German and English in the natural dialogue simply delightful and I'm happy this movie was not dubbed. That would have taken from the character of this series.

The only "complaint" I have is that I would have really liked to know whether Esty got into the conservatory. But I guess it really didn't matter in the end.

Do yourself a favour and do not miss this gem.

The Woods (2020)

Not bad and different, could have been a lot better.

[6/10 · 18 September 2020]

To start with, it's a good, solid story. I actually wanted to give it a 6.5. It's better than just a passing grade, but there are too many issues with it for a mark of 7. I found the acting to be quite good, the subtitles and dubbing, on the other hand, were horrible. In every scene the spoken dialogue and the subtitles were different and in some instances they actually contradicted themselves! Sometimes the spoken dialogue was better, sometimes the subtitles described the scene and emotions more accurately, so I found myself trying to figure out whether I should be listening to the actors or reading the subtitles. I could not do both and found that very frustrating. I also felt that some of the scenes didn't make sense, as if we were not given enough information to know what was going on. Some of the flashbacks were done in such a way that I had a hard time figuring out whether I was watching the present or the past. Another minus is the cinematography. There are a LOT of long, (really) slow scenes (dluzyzny) and it made the whole thing drag. I don't know if this is a new trend in film making, but it's annoying and doesn't add anything to the story. I also thought the setting of the "camp" somewhat strange. I mean, what teenager wants to go to "camp" with their parents??? Who came up with that idea? But in the end, it was enjoyable and different and I'm glad I saw it.

Away (2020)

Slow Burn To Nowhere

[1/10 · 9 September 2020]

Oh dear God, Netflix's "losing formula" strikes again: wrangle a couple of well known actors, get a crappy script, throw it at the wall and see if it sticks. So many things wrong with this I don't even know where to start. Let me count the ways:

1. They haven't even launched their actual mission off the Moon and the crew is already planning to sabotage the mission leader and basically mutiny. Did they just throw these people together 2 days before the mission? Did they not study them and ensure the team was compatible and got along, especially in tough situations? I'm no astronaut, but that would be one of the first things I'd do before sending 5 people from different countries, all stuck in small space, on an 8+ months trip.

2. American astronaut=good, Russian astronaut=bad. Cliche much?

3. I have learned something interesting about the moon: apparently it wobbles badly because everyone has to hold on to walls to be able to walk on it. Or maybe it's just the lunar station, because they have no issues walking on the moon itself even though they're wearing cumbersome space suits. What's wrong with the lunar station?

4. Slow, slow drama and more juvenile, done-it-a-million-times-before drama. If I wanted to watch a soap opera, I'd watch "Young and the Restless". There's more action there. Please, do NOT call this Sci-Fi, it's offensive.

5. "Oh no, my lover got removed from the communications team and now I can't talk to her... wah wah, wah, wahhhhh... Oh, wait, cellphone!" Seriously? This is a grown a$$ person who is an "astronaut"???

6. Is the low gravity affecting everyone's speaking ability? Because everyone seems to be s p e a k i n g s o s l o w l y... In fact, everything happens slowly in this series. Even turning heads and looking at something. It's as if they slowed the whole video down a fraction. It's excruciating.

7. I'm sure there is a lot more wrong with this, but, I just could not get past the middle of 3rd episode. Just... no.

Dark Was the Night (2014)

Surprising Good Movie!

[7/10 · 23 August 2020]

I'm not sure why the low overall rating because this was a surprising good horror flick. I didn't expect much and was very nicely surprised. It starts in a bit of a slow but intense burn and doesn't let up until the end. Lots of suspense and not too much blood and gore which is often way overdone in the more mainstream horrors. The plot had me glued to the TV from beginning to end. Kevin Durand absolutely shines in this one but all the acting is excellent. It took me a while to realize the big (and cute) ears of deputy Donny also belonged to the little kid in the 1985 Witness. The only two complaints I have are these: 1. What was up with cinematography? It seemed the whole movie was in monochrome. Either blue monochrome, or mustard yellow monochrome or pukey green monochrome and some red monochrome at the end. What the??? 2. The ending. The very last scene was just simply stupid.

Snowpiercer (2020–2024)

Netflix has scored!

[8/10 · 8 July 2020]

Whoa, two great Netflix special series in a row for me. I'm batting 2 for 2! I think Netflix really nailed a good show with Snowpiercer. I saw the original movie and, although it had a good, intriguing beginning, the second half of it totally sucked and made no sense. So when I saw the first episode which mirrored the movie pretty closely, I was disappointed and thought to myself, why are we rehashing the same story? But then the show took a sharp turn for the better. It was a great ride and I binge watched it because I couldn't look away. What I really liked about the new adaptation is the fact that the good vs bad story is not clear cut. You think you know who the bad people are, but then you start questioning it if your mind is open enough to look at the story objectively. There are a lot of questions and unknowns and I cannot wait to see how it will develop past episode 8. Good job, Netflix!

Warrior Nun (2020–2022)

What a nice surprise.

[8/10 · 8 July 2020]

After seeing the preview I was expecting to see another fluff-copy of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or some such, but decided to give it a chance anyway. What a nice surprise! I thoroughly enjoyed the first season, especially the wonderful young actress who plays Ava. She is a delight very much in the same way as Milly Bobbie Brown is. It was well paced and I found the acting quite good. For those who think it was "unbearable" and "devoid of life" and "infuriating" (????), Jesus people, get over yourselves. It's a show, for fun. Can't wait for 2nd season. And no, I'm not un 17. I'm 55. Perhaps you need a young spirit to enjoy this show.

Homecoming (2018–2020)

Uhm, what was the point???

[6/10 · 30 June 2020]

What was the point of the second season? The first season was awesome: suspenseful, weird, different, interesting. There were so many questions that needed answers and I was waiting with abated breath to see season 2. It basically gave us the answers in first and second episodes and then the rest of the episodes I just sat there and wondered, why am I watching this? The mystery from the first season was solved and you basically watching, in slow mo, how Alex got to where she got, only to see the first episode (2nd season) basically be replayed in the last one and then everyone gets obliviated. What a waste of time.

Emma. (2020)

Meh...

[5/10 · 23 May 2020]

Even though I'm no fan of Gwyneth Paltrow, this 2020 version cannot hold a candle to the 1996 adaptation. It's silly, too long and boring. And Mr. Knightley? Dear God, are there no good looking men left in England??? Theo James would have been perfect for this role! I love a good friends to lovers story, but detected no chemistry whatsoever between the characters of Emma and Mr. Knightley. None. The musical "intermissions" seemed out of place and out of period and jarred me out of the story. And the scene under the tree when Mr. Knightley finally confesses his love, a nosebleed? Seriously? WTH? Oh, and the character of Mr. Martin? He just seemed like a wooden bufoon. The final scene had me rolling my eyes. I'm glad I did not go to see this in theatres. Do yourself a favour and watch the 1996 version.

Carnival Row (2019–2023)

Wow, a solid 10!

[10/10 · 21 May 2020]

I'm very wary of the Netflix and Prime "Specials" because 9 times out of 10 they are predictable, boring garbage and when I started seeing the ads for Carnival Row, I was skeptical to say the least. This was that rare 1 out of 10. What an absolute pleasure it was to watch the first season! Probably the most original, imaginative, well thought out and acted series I've seen in years. A steampunk-ey Victorian era-like fantasy with a believable race of fae, full of mystery, romance and just the right amount of horror. It draws parallels with issues of our world but does it without being obvious or preachy. But best of all, it's simply a good, solid story with surprises around every corner. The acting is also superb. To be honest, that surprised me as well. Many actors who land in a famous role often get typecast and have a hard time shaking the image of that role. I wondered if that would happen to Mr. Bloom. Not even close. He's acting is so good, I would not have know it was him if I did not check. Can't wait to see what they have planned for Season 2!