Unoriginal, derivative story, poor casting of Tatum and Radcliffe, not funny, and the romance was utterly unconvincing. Lame in every way. I'm being generous with four stars. Thankfully I didn't see it in theaters and was able to skip through this tedious mess. I'm so tired of the crap like this that Hollywood churns out. Totally forgettable. This is NOT a modern Romancing the Stone. That was a decent movie, this is just bad. Not cheesy bad, but a combination of a poorly written screenplay, dumb story and bad casting. Brad Pitt was good, but his role was very brief.
Reviews
16 Reviews
Outer Range
(2022– )
I was into it at first, then it got boring and overly convoluted
6 May 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I skipped through much of episode 7 and 8 because it was so boring, and I didn't learn anything more about the mystery of the hole, which was the only interesting thing about this story. Just some mumbo jumbo about "God is everything good, and everything bad". Nothing is explained or resolved, and honestly, I couldn't care less about season 2. I can't even tell if this is science fiction or something else. There's time travel, a mountain disappears, a vast herd of buffalo inexplicably pours out of a small hole in the ground. Maybe they're all living in a simulation or it's all a dream. It should be more clear what is happening after 8 episodes.
Nr. 10
(2021)
A drama/mystery that transitions into science fiction
18 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The best thing Nr. 10 has going for it is that it's a completely original story. Günter is an actor in rehearsals for a stage play. The initial mystery has to do with his strange origin, having been found as a toddler in a forest. Then his daughter Lizzy tells him she learned she has a medical condition nobody has ever seen. She only has one lung, and the doctors want to examine him. Then we learn the Catholic church is having him followed and is sabotaging his life, trying to keep him off balance for some unknown reason. They know something about Günter that the other major religions don't know, and consider him vital to their plans. All very intriguing.
Günter is having an affair with the wife of the play's director, who is tipped off about the affair by the church. When the director takes revenge, changing Günter's role in the play to humiliate him, Günter commits a shocking act of violence. He has presumably destroyed his career and is wanted by the law, and this makes the church happy.
Don't read further unless you want to know how this is science fiction.
It's not until near the end that we learn the church's true motives, and it's a doozy. Günter is told that he was born on planet Lunabor, and was left on earth with other alien children in 1975, as an experiment to learn if they could assimilate. Forty years later the aliens returned, and with help from the church, had located Günter and Lizzy and wanted them to come with them to Lunabor. "We can't force you" they tell him, but it's never explained why. They tell him his mother is still alive, and show him a video of them together, just before he was taken to Earth, and another video of her speaking to the camera, telling Günter she'll be a lot older when he returns, but she's waiting for him.
Günter meets with Lizzy and tells her he was born on another planet, and that he plans to return on the same ship that brought him to Earth. She goes with him to the ship and sees the video of her grandmother and father, filmed outside on Lunabor.
So why did the Catholic church help the aliens? What was in it for them? Well...they were promised the opportunity to try and spread Catholicism on the alien world, which had no religion at all. Günter is upset when he learns this, making the point that in order to spread the message that Jesus saves, they must first convince the people of Lunabor that the lives they are leading is wrong, that they are lost souls. He's is frustrated that the aliens, his people, seem unconcerned by this.
The ship rises out of its underground hiding place and leaves Earth. Lizzy wanders the corridors and is stunned to discover a big room with stage scenery and costumes that was clearly where the video had been shot. It had all been a lie. The video had been staged just to convince Günter and Lizzy to voluntarily return. But why they would go to such lengths to deceive and not simply abduct the pair is never explained. Günter can sense that something is wrong, but Lizzie doesn't tell him about the room. Her reason is also not explained.
The Catholic priests gather in the spaceship's cargo hold to examine the treasure of religious statues, crosses and icons they had collected to help convert the heathens of Lunabor. There are two aliens observing from a control booth. One of them smiles faintly, nods, then pushes a button that opens the cargo bay door. The priests, and everything they brought with them, are swept out into space.
There are too many unanswered questions but the story kept me engaged.
Günter is having an affair with the wife of the play's director, who is tipped off about the affair by the church. When the director takes revenge, changing Günter's role in the play to humiliate him, Günter commits a shocking act of violence. He has presumably destroyed his career and is wanted by the law, and this makes the church happy.
Don't read further unless you want to know how this is science fiction.
It's not until near the end that we learn the church's true motives, and it's a doozy. Günter is told that he was born on planet Lunabor, and was left on earth with other alien children in 1975, as an experiment to learn if they could assimilate. Forty years later the aliens returned, and with help from the church, had located Günter and Lizzy and wanted them to come with them to Lunabor. "We can't force you" they tell him, but it's never explained why. They tell him his mother is still alive, and show him a video of them together, just before he was taken to Earth, and another video of her speaking to the camera, telling Günter she'll be a lot older when he returns, but she's waiting for him.
Günter meets with Lizzy and tells her he was born on another planet, and that he plans to return on the same ship that brought him to Earth. She goes with him to the ship and sees the video of her grandmother and father, filmed outside on Lunabor.
So why did the Catholic church help the aliens? What was in it for them? Well...they were promised the opportunity to try and spread Catholicism on the alien world, which had no religion at all. Günter is upset when he learns this, making the point that in order to spread the message that Jesus saves, they must first convince the people of Lunabor that the lives they are leading is wrong, that they are lost souls. He's is frustrated that the aliens, his people, seem unconcerned by this.
The ship rises out of its underground hiding place and leaves Earth. Lizzy wanders the corridors and is stunned to discover a big room with stage scenery and costumes that was clearly where the video had been shot. It had all been a lie. The video had been staged just to convince Günter and Lizzy to voluntarily return. But why they would go to such lengths to deceive and not simply abduct the pair is never explained. Günter can sense that something is wrong, but Lizzie doesn't tell him about the room. Her reason is also not explained.
The Catholic priests gather in the spaceship's cargo hold to examine the treasure of religious statues, crosses and icons they had collected to help convert the heathens of Lunabor. There are two aliens observing from a control booth. One of them smiles faintly, nods, then pushes a button that opens the cargo bay door. The priests, and everything they brought with them, are swept out into space.
There are too many unanswered questions but the story kept me engaged.
A well made documentary but...
11 April 2022
Escape from Marwin
(2018)
Utterly derivative story
18 January 2022
"In life, we all deserve second chances. It doesn't matter what we have done."
The marketing blurb is worse than the movie. No, we don't all deserve second chances. Yes, it actually does matter what we have done. Who came up with that tripe?
The marketing blurb is worse than the movie. No, we don't all deserve second chances. Yes, it actually does matter what we have done. Who came up with that tripe?
Rushed
(2021)
A very good film that could have been a great film
8 September 2021
Warning: Spoilers
The acting is outstanding, as is the story up until the ambiguous ending. Nothing is really resolved.
Some things felt contrived. At the party, when it was clear Jimmy needed medical help, his friend Virgil asked for his phone back with an increasing sense of urgency. But it was only the pledges who had their phones taken away. He could have easily borrowed a phone from one of the girls at the party or he could have ran next door and called an ambulance. There were options. It's not until the film is almost over that Virgil tells Jimmy's father what actually happened at the party. When Jimmy's mother kidnaps Jake to get the truth out of him, we don't know what he tells her. Does he admit to spiking Jimmy's beer and tying him up? Who knows? Did Virgil tell the police what happened at the party? Did they even bother to ask him? Again, we don't know. The only thing we learn about the police investigation is from the letter where the college denies responsibility. Did they know Jimmy had been tied up and had shots involuntarily poured down his throat? Everyone saw it, so if the police didn't know does that mean the investigation was sloppy or that everyone at the party lied? Did they have the photos that Virgil showed Jimmy's dad? Did they know that Jake tried to stop anyone from calling an ambulance? There are simply too many unanswered questions about what the police knew.
Siobhan Fallon Hogan's performance was Academy Award-winning level. She was very convincing as a distraught, mourning, devoutly Catholic mother. Robert Patrick was great in his smaller role as well. Aside from the fantastic acting, the other thing that really stood out was the brilliant score. I recommend this film, but be prepared for an unsatisfying ending. I would have preferred that mom murdered or kneecapped Jake, or that the kidnapping convinced the police to take another look at Jimmy's death and conclude there was criminal culpability, resulting in Jake's arrest.
Some things felt contrived. At the party, when it was clear Jimmy needed medical help, his friend Virgil asked for his phone back with an increasing sense of urgency. But it was only the pledges who had their phones taken away. He could have easily borrowed a phone from one of the girls at the party or he could have ran next door and called an ambulance. There were options. It's not until the film is almost over that Virgil tells Jimmy's father what actually happened at the party. When Jimmy's mother kidnaps Jake to get the truth out of him, we don't know what he tells her. Does he admit to spiking Jimmy's beer and tying him up? Who knows? Did Virgil tell the police what happened at the party? Did they even bother to ask him? Again, we don't know. The only thing we learn about the police investigation is from the letter where the college denies responsibility. Did they know Jimmy had been tied up and had shots involuntarily poured down his throat? Everyone saw it, so if the police didn't know does that mean the investigation was sloppy or that everyone at the party lied? Did they have the photos that Virgil showed Jimmy's dad? Did they know that Jake tried to stop anyone from calling an ambulance? There are simply too many unanswered questions about what the police knew.
Siobhan Fallon Hogan's performance was Academy Award-winning level. She was very convincing as a distraught, mourning, devoutly Catholic mother. Robert Patrick was great in his smaller role as well. Aside from the fantastic acting, the other thing that really stood out was the brilliant score. I recommend this film, but be prepared for an unsatisfying ending. I would have preferred that mom murdered or kneecapped Jake, or that the kidnapping convinced the police to take another look at Jimmy's death and conclude there was criminal culpability, resulting in Jake's arrest.
Jungle Cruise
(2021)
Fun movie, better than average
1 August 2021
Jungle Cruise is funny, entertaining, and I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. Generally, Disney live action films do nothing for me, with the recent exception of Cruella. Also, I'm not a big Dwayne Johnson fan and he wouldn't have been my first choice as the male lead, but he was quite good. All of the acting was good, particularly Emily Blunt.
The story itself is nothing new, but the screenplay was clever and inventive. One of the "bad" jokes Frank tells his passengers seemed out of place as concentrated orange juice wasn't even invented until 30 years later, but it's a minor quibble. The romance between Frank and Lily could've been more convincing-it seemed a little manufactured. Jesse Plemons and Paul Giamatti were both hilarious.
The story itself is nothing new, but the screenplay was clever and inventive. One of the "bad" jokes Frank tells his passengers seemed out of place as concentrated orange juice wasn't even invented until 30 years later, but it's a minor quibble. The romance between Frank and Lily could've been more convincing-it seemed a little manufactured. Jesse Plemons and Paul Giamatti were both hilarious.
Cruella
(2021)
A nearly perfect comedy
29 May 2021
This film has it all: A funny, inspired, intelligent script, utterly perfect casting, fantastic acting all around, even the dogs were hilarious. The art direction is sublime, the costumes, the soundtrack, all pitch perfect. As Disney live action films go, this one is in a league of its own. I honestly can't think of a single thing wrong with this film, and that happens so rarely that I felt compelled to write this short review.
Third Man on the Mountain
(1959)
Even better than I remember
9 May 2021
I saw this film as a kid and it made such a big impression that I never forgot it. Now that I've seen it again, decades later, I appreciate it even more.
There are several messages, but the one that stuck with me was that you have to follow your own path and never let your parents choose it for you, no matter how determined they may be force you to their will.
There are several messages, but the one that stuck with me was that you have to follow your own path and never let your parents choose it for you, no matter how determined they may be force you to their will.
Bokeh
(I) (2017)
A missed opportunity
1 May 2021
I really like the set up, waking up to find that everyone has disappeared without a trace. What would you do? There are infinite possibilities but this film doesn't explore any of them.
Bokeh has some beautiful cinematography but that's really all it offers. I'm not a fan of the name "Bokeh" either. It conveys nothing about the film, but then again there's nothing to convey because nothing much happens.
Bokeh has some beautiful cinematography but that's really all it offers. I'm not a fan of the name "Bokeh" either. It conveys nothing about the film, but then again there's nothing to convey because nothing much happens.
Revenge
(II) (2017)
Enjoyable despite being deeply flawed
1 May 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I enjoyed this more than I usually enjoy these types of violent revenge films, but it could have been so much better had it been more believable.
The injury that Jen suffers is so severe that it makes what follows utterly unbelievable. It's extremely unlikely anyone could have survived the fall let alone being impaled through the abdomen by a tree trunk. But even if someone could survive it, and could burn the tree trunk to weaken it without catching fire themselves, and walk a long distance while impaled by a thick piece of wood and bleeding heavily, they wouldn't be able to pull it out and seal the wound simply by burning it with a cut-open heated up beer can, and it wouldn't have looked anything like a cool embossed tattoo a few hours later. And what about the hole in her back, where the tree trunk entered her body? It's obscured with mud, and there's no explanation provided as to how the hole is gone.
My guess is that the screenwriter thought the impalement would make Jen more sympathetic, and it does to a degree, but it comes at the expense of believability. I think it would have been a better film if Jen had somehow miraculously survived the fall but not been impaled.
The injury that Jen suffers is so severe that it makes what follows utterly unbelievable. It's extremely unlikely anyone could have survived the fall let alone being impaled through the abdomen by a tree trunk. But even if someone could survive it, and could burn the tree trunk to weaken it without catching fire themselves, and walk a long distance while impaled by a thick piece of wood and bleeding heavily, they wouldn't be able to pull it out and seal the wound simply by burning it with a cut-open heated up beer can, and it wouldn't have looked anything like a cool embossed tattoo a few hours later. And what about the hole in her back, where the tree trunk entered her body? It's obscured with mud, and there's no explanation provided as to how the hole is gone.
My guess is that the screenwriter thought the impalement would make Jen more sympathetic, and it does to a degree, but it comes at the expense of believability. I think it would have been a better film if Jen had somehow miraculously survived the fall but not been impaled.
The Christmas House
(2020 TV Movie)
Bland
1 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I vaguely enjoyed The Christmas House despite the issues I have with it. To start with, for a drama there's very little actual drama. The acting and dialogue is okay, but the story itself is banal and not particularly well thought out.
Mom and Dad are having problems and planning to sell the house and live separately after Christmas, which gradually becomes known to their adult sons who have come home for Christmas. But the reason for the planned separation is vague until near the end of the story, and when it's finally revealed what the issue is, it's not only anti-climactic but makes Mom seem petty and childish. Her problem? Dad had retired before she did, and instead of moping around the house, he found things to do that didn't include her BECAUSE SHE WAS STILL WORKING. She felt excluded, therefore marriage over. Then suddenly, out of the blue, they announce they're not going to separate after all and instead will move into a fixer-upper and will renovate it together, thus resolving Mom's feelings of exclusion.
The second plot line make more sense, but lacks drama as well. The gay couple are waiting to find out if their latest attempt to adopt a child will succeed after their previous attempts fell through. It's a foregone conclusion that they find out, on Christmas even no less, that they were approved.
The third plot line was the most interesting, but it was obvious how it would be resolved as well. The older brother, an actor who's tv series may be cancelled, gets a second chance with the woman who was his best friend growing up. She's now divorced and has moved back to her childhood home, conveniently next door to his. They reconnect and the question is: will he go back to LA if his tv series is continued, or will he stay with her and her son, who shares his childhood love of magic?
Finally, the way this family transforms their home, both inside and out, into a "Christmas House" is so over the top it's not remotely believable. It reminded me of the department store Christmas wonderland that Will Ferrel creates overnight in "Elf". Mom supervises her husband and her two sons in setting up the decorations by blowing a loud whistle, startling them in quiet moments. I think it's meant to be humorous, but it just makes her look like an annoying control freak. What's more, she's already designed the entire layout with a detailed 3D animation showing where everything should be placed. The animation looks as if it has taken weeks to produce, which makes you wonder why she didn't just put up the decorations herself if she had all that spare time.
Mom and Dad are having problems and planning to sell the house and live separately after Christmas, which gradually becomes known to their adult sons who have come home for Christmas. But the reason for the planned separation is vague until near the end of the story, and when it's finally revealed what the issue is, it's not only anti-climactic but makes Mom seem petty and childish. Her problem? Dad had retired before she did, and instead of moping around the house, he found things to do that didn't include her BECAUSE SHE WAS STILL WORKING. She felt excluded, therefore marriage over. Then suddenly, out of the blue, they announce they're not going to separate after all and instead will move into a fixer-upper and will renovate it together, thus resolving Mom's feelings of exclusion.
The second plot line make more sense, but lacks drama as well. The gay couple are waiting to find out if their latest attempt to adopt a child will succeed after their previous attempts fell through. It's a foregone conclusion that they find out, on Christmas even no less, that they were approved.
The third plot line was the most interesting, but it was obvious how it would be resolved as well. The older brother, an actor who's tv series may be cancelled, gets a second chance with the woman who was his best friend growing up. She's now divorced and has moved back to her childhood home, conveniently next door to his. They reconnect and the question is: will he go back to LA if his tv series is continued, or will he stay with her and her son, who shares his childhood love of magic?
Finally, the way this family transforms their home, both inside and out, into a "Christmas House" is so over the top it's not remotely believable. It reminded me of the department store Christmas wonderland that Will Ferrel creates overnight in "Elf". Mom supervises her husband and her two sons in setting up the decorations by blowing a loud whistle, startling them in quiet moments. I think it's meant to be humorous, but it just makes her look like an annoying control freak. What's more, she's already designed the entire layout with a detailed 3D animation showing where everything should be placed. The animation looks as if it has taken weeks to produce, which makes you wonder why she didn't just put up the decorations herself if she had all that spare time.
Ad Astra
(2019)
2 stars for the visuals, 0 stars for everything else
2 August 2020
I can not believe that someone signed off on this turd of a screenplay. As science fiction, it fails in every respect. The science never makes sense, and there's nothing remotely original or interesting about the story. Ad Astra is a prime example of why so few science fiction movies ever deliver the sense of wonder and awe that science fiction novels do. It was written by people who don't have the faintest clue what makes great science fiction, or even merely serviceable science fiction. If this story had been written as a novel and submitted to any science fiction publishing house, it would've been promptly thrown in the trash where it belongs.
As a drama, it also fails in every respect. It's boring and there is never a reason to sympathize with the main character, or any character.
The production design isn't bad and the special effects aren't bad, but that's all this film has going for it. I'll never understand why crap like this keep getting produced by Hollywood when there are literally thousands of amazing and original science fiction novels that could be adapted to the screen.
As a drama, it also fails in every respect. It's boring and there is never a reason to sympathize with the main character, or any character.
The production design isn't bad and the special effects aren't bad, but that's all this film has going for it. I'll never understand why crap like this keep getting produced by Hollywood when there are literally thousands of amazing and original science fiction novels that could be adapted to the screen.
Alita: Battle Angel
(2019)
Beautiful graphics, technically accomplished, utterly derivative story
30 July 2020
There's nothing remotely original about the plot. This is science fiction for people who don't have a clue what great science fiction is, written by people who also don't have a clue what great science fiction is. As spectacular as the CGI is, it just can't make up for the story, which is basically identical to Altered Carbon. A dystopian city, rich immortals living above, and most everyone living below ready to sell their souls to join them. Also it should've been called Alita: Battle Angel Part 1. There is no resolution to the derivative story.
Having said that, my appreciation of the technical achievements kept my interest throughout.
Having said that, my appreciation of the technical achievements kept my interest throughout.
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