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jannisschaefer
Reviews
The Thing (2011)
Hate to break it to you, but this doesn't suck!
The Thing 2011 prequel for me felt dangerous. Especially due to the fact that I had seen the 1982 and 50s one already. So sufficed to say this one, being a prequel to 1982, screamed familiarity for me. While it feels slightly derivative at times, I think most that hate it just simply do so, because it's a prequel. The rest of the haters probably just didn't like the Thing all around to beginn with even the 1982 one. This movie stars a great cast of talented actors, neat CGI even If some of it is noticable at certain intervals, great suspense akin to the 80s and new improved Thing designs. That I think is best about it. The fact that it doesn't steal any creature designs from John Carpenter and his crew and chose to instead come up with brand new creature feature designs that meerely lean on the 80s'.
This for me was well deserving of a 9/10. Well worth the watch time. It respects the original, does it justice, pays homage to it with little throwbacks that call back to the original 80s' and sometimes the 50s' respectively. Honestly the most jarring thing that caused me confusion was how many people got so wrapped up and caught up in hating and especially just finding talking points about it that they can hate.
Atleast we have Chris Stuckmann as a parade example and rolemodel who shows us not to judge a book by it's (also pretty awesome) cover.
Busanhaeng (2016)
Not a No brainer at all!
I've repeatedly heard some say that this movie is an absolute no brainer. I don't know if that's the majority of viewers that share the opinion, but I firmly disagree. This movie is such a refreshing zombie movie, the likes of which I've never seen in Zombie movies following the turn of the new millenium. The train provides an oppressive and anxiety inducing location, riddled with a heavy atmosphere that kept me tense. Even when they're not on the train the zombie spectacle is near impeccable and flawless. The zombies are great and seem to advance a lot of the things we got in the remake of Dawn of the Dead in 2003, with the charging and franticly running, contorting, non cautious, careless, relentless attitude. I never really got the appeal of the slow lumbering zombies, they just always felt Like they're a threat either as a horde or on accident. Don't get me wrong and misunderstand me saying that as faulting older zombie movies. I love them a whole lot as well. But Train to Busan zombies feel very menacing and infected. What do I mean by infected? Well it's the desire of the virus to just spread and propagate. It meerely compells victims to infect others instead of making them waste time unnecessarily by eating them. They only contract and move on to the next terrified witness. It just feels pretty realistic to be entirely honest. Just makes it seem like a next step that rabbies decided to take in evolution, so it just developed it's new dreadful properties. The characters are great as well. Most obviously our main characters, but also the other 10 or so this movie doesn't really struggle to juggle. Also there's a lot of great societal commentare scattered throughout. Recommended!!!
InHumanoids (1986)
Underappreciated classic.
This series is one of the most peculiar cases I have ever seen, simply because it has the potential to rival hit shows as the likes of G.I. Joe, Transformers and He-Man. Though it has an established cult following it is still a very obscure cartoon, despite having everything you could want in a show like this. Sadly it never caught on.
Let's start with the good. Firstly the monsters. They're simple yet creative creature creations(and might I add their action figures look incredible)that are memorable. The best example has to be D Compose. He is an undead giant adorned by a dinosaur like skull, with an exposed ribcage he uses to trap his victims in and has the ability to turn any living organism he touches into a mutated monstrosity at will. There are other cool monsters like Metlar(who's name may or may not be an anagram for Meltar=Melter) who personifies the devil himself and chucks raging flames at his enemies. We have Slither a green snake humanoid-like hybrid covered in snakes and has some unfinished business with Metlar. Tendril who is a giant Man-Thing looking monster. And last but mit least that quadrupedal cyclops dinosaur who is so hungry at birth that he immediately devours his children in a savage and gruesome display of unbearable appetite I guess. Also it's stomach is transparent so you can see everything it gobbles up being dissolved and digested by adhesive stomach acid. Unless it barf's it's victim which is easily equally as repulsive. Those are just a few examples for monsters this series has to offer. The story is an overarching narrative that ends on a cliffhanger almost every episode. And I'd be remiss If I didn't mention the animation which rivals and even surpasses other Hasbro property shows in quality. While it's very reminiscent of these other shows, there absurd and awe inspiring visuals make it feel so much grander and different. Heavy and dark shadows, haunting and eery imagery,great action and the aforementioned aspects cement this as one of the all time cartoon greats in my mind.
Waterworld (1995)
Alleged Mad Max
Allegedly this movie is just Mad Max, but in reverse. Instead of a lack of water, the water has claimed the world and drowned almost every bit of landmass in the planet. While I agree with that opinion to a certain extent, I don't really mind that it takes a lot of Inspiration from Mad Max. It just took the basic idea and applied it to a more moist setting. The action is good, the stunt work is impressive and the story is on the level of Mad Max. They discard telling you everything by resorting to a very important film making rule called show don't tell. You can see exactly how everything works and this movie is insistent on showing it. While Kevin Costner's acting is anything but stellar in this movie, his dull and lethargic demeanor is the perfect contrast to Dennis Hopper's usual energetic acting, which compensates for Costner's acting. Admittadly I have to confess that the story isn't anything ground-breaking, but the entertainment that is to be had with this movie more than makes up for it.
In conclusion, this had the potential to become a the new Mad Max and I regret that we never got any sequels from this. Who knows maybe one day someone will make a remake of it, that can finally launch this as a series and spawn a new whimsical action packed world that can rival that of Mad Max.
Guyver: Dark Hero (1994)
Lower Budget, Higher Quality
Guyver:Dark Hero surpasses it's mediocre predecessor in many ways. I didn't expect it to be an enjoyable movie after watching the first one, but it prooved me wrong and exceeded my expectations. First of all an R rating. Enough said. The acting isn't outstanding, but surpasses the mostly lethargic and dull performances of the first movie. While it is definitly obvious the movie had a lower budget, it still looks pretty good. This is most evident in the monster costumes, which look beatifully hideous once again. Where the first one had tonal issues, this one rectifies these problems by stream-lining the tone of this movie and making it more consistent, leaving little space for jokes and joy, but still having enough lighthearted moments to change things up, preventing the movie from getting too monotonous. The only complaints are a few scenes where the acting does get a bit sloppy and the story being pretty bland. It still has enough action, fun interactions and effects to keep you invested. It is a mostly engaging movie all the way through.
The Matrix (1999)
An overrated movie
I watched this movie when I was a kid. I liked it, I thought it was a good movie. But now that I have rewatched it again after such a long time, my opinion of it has been tarnished. This is a pretentious movie desperately trying to convey that it means more than meets the eye. There are so many issues sprinkled throughout that the majority just seems to ignore. For example Neo is able to hide from the agents the matrix dispatched to catch him, by hiding behind a thin wall... Shouldn't these agents be able to track him anywhere he goes. He's still plugged into the matrix so it makes no sense. Or what about their brilliant disguises they use to blend in on their covert operations. Eventhough their outfits make them stand out, everyone acts like they're normal people Just strolling along on the sidewalk. Speaking of acting, the acting in this movie is bland and feels incredibly contrived. Inherently I find the idea of a movie inspired by anime intriguing and interesting, but the execution prevents me from giving it more than an average designation. It's still a decent movie. Many scenes look nice except for that constant green tint the matrix has for some unknown reason. The action that doesn't involve bullet time is still pretty nice and some of the philosophical stuff was very interesting, like "there is no spoon", for example.
All in all a decent movie that doesn't hold up as well as people would like to believe it does.
Starship Troopers (1997)
Great action, greater satire
Paul Verhoeven's most popular Films go like this.
RoboCop: It was awesome.
Total Recall: It was awesome.
Basic Instinct: It was awesome.
Starship Troopers: It was incredibly awesome.
This is my favorite Paul Verhoeven movie to this day only rivaled by Hollowman.
The effects of this movie look great. Especially considering this was made in 1997 where making something made with CGI look like it isn't from a Playstation 2 game was exceedingly hard.
The bugs in this movie blend so well with the backgrounds that I didn't even notice the CG most of the time. The action is stellar and exciting. The funny scenes, while never getting a laugh out of me, made me adorn my face with a smile more often than not. The world it creates is intriguing and interesting. The movie is very cliché ridden throughout most of it's running time, but that is kind of the point. It potrays all of the soldiers as glorious heroes and the bugs simply as the enemy without ever delving into why the bugs are antagonizing humanity. Maybe we intruded upon their domain and provoked them into acting. The presentation of this future gives us an insight into what we as an entirety can become if we just focus on trying to eliminate the enemy with any means necessary and every attempt to comprehend the cause of and reasoning behind why we started the war in the first place are replaced by defending war cries.
In conclusion this is a great film deserving of the same praise Paul Verhoeven's most successful movies received from critics and audiences alike.
Hollow Man (2000)
Not hollow at all.
Hollow Man is an underrated semi-remake of the universal studio Invisible Man series. While the former might not live up to the latter, it is still a solid, I'd even dare to say great movie. It feels like every contributor to this movie, sat in a huge room and discussed concept for invisibility and the things you can do with it, but I'm getting ahead of myself. To start my actual review, one of the good aspects is Kevin Bacons character, the titular individual named in the title. He is a man who you can't help but feel sorry for, even though he cements himself as quite a douche in the beginning. When he inadvertently causes a lab accident, he begins to transform into an invisible man. Though in this movie they show some details of said transformation. He transforms only gradually over time with his skin being the first part that disappears. The effects in this scene and the entire movie for that matter are great. At first the invisible man adores his new powers, but subsequently begins to resent them, as he feels restricted and Like a lab rat. For example, when he tries to sleep he can't, because although he closes his eyelids, they are invisible and so he can see right through them. Initially you feel sorry for him, until he leaves the lab, stalks women, subsequently raping one of them, committing murders and even killing a poor dog at some point. Now to the part where it gets most interesting. The finally is the only part I take issue with, but we'll get to that soon enough. Here they use almost every tactic you possibly could to detect someone who is invisible. They use Heatvision, but he busts some pipes causing hot steam to burst out. The cut open infusion packs to track the trace of footsteps he leaves on the ground. They turn on the sprinklers to get a clear visual of his silhouette and more. Now to my only gripe. He survives too much. For example he manages to survive high voltage that should kill him, but doesn't. And this is just one example. In conclusion I can say that it is the worst Invisible Man movie ever conceived, in comparison to the original and the 2020 reamake, but it is still an awesome depiction of the character. If you like aforementioned movies, give this one a go.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Bow down to the undisputed king of action.
This movie is a non stop literal thrill ride through the hot desolate desert wasteland australia has become in this worlds future. The acting from everyone is great, the action is breathtaking, the music cements itself as some of the most memorable and fitting music movies of the last decade had to offer. The story is told with the characters and their great acting. Every little detail, action and facial expression can tell a tale of their own. I wish I could say more, but the only thing I can derive from this movie is, that the trailer had every right to call George Miller a mastermind.
G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)
A Real American Hero!
This is how I can describe this movie in one word. It is blatantly obvious that the budget was increased for this spectacle of a film. The only issue I can address is that Duke didn't get an emotional death scene and that most of the shows cast was replaced by new recruits. Still I really appreciated the new additions to the team. Especially Duke's half-brother who could be considered the main character of the movie. His story line is the story of a disobedient soldier who learns to be a respectable member of the group. Even though he is a douche, I can't help but feel sympathy for him, especially when Duke "succumbs to his wounds". The greatest advantage this movie has is it's ability to keep you entertained no matter what happens. The action is outstanding and still holds up to this day. This is G.I. Joe at it's absolute best and an excellent conclusion to the 80s show.
Lifeforce (1985)
An underrated obscurity
This movie feels like a combination of Poltergeist, Alien, Star Wars and the George Romero "of the Dead" series. Which makes sense, considering that the minds behind every movie, with exceptions of the latter and Alien contributed to this movies creation. The effects look great for the time all the way through. Be it the atmosphere of the spaceship, the desecated corpses the aliens leave behind, the blood that takes the shape of Matilda May and the Poltergeist like effects seen in the finale. The story is full of intrigue and mystery. It starts with the exploration of a seemingly abandoned spacecraft and turns into a police investigation with the poliece looking for three alien vampires. I could go on, but firstly I don't want to digress by going into detail too much and secondly, this story is truly something you have to witness to believe it. It's an underrated alien-crime-horror-zombie-ghost-vampire film. Check it out if you like any of these movies I innotially presented in the beginning of this review.
Arrow (2012)
Pretty good in most seasons
Great 1st, 2nd and 5th season, pretty good 3rd,6th and 8th season, bad 4th and 7th season. Over all the good outweighs the bad by a large amount. The only really relevant seasons are the ones that are great. The good ones have nice stories of their own with three being the only other relevant one for the major story of the good seasons. Season 7 starts out great with the first Eight episodes and some others in between, but many Bad episodes. The 4th season is by far the worst with it's only saving grace being Anarky and Neil McDonogh's Performance as the villain. While this series has a few hickups Here and there, the positives outweigh the negatives Like I said before.