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simon_c23
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Reviews
Rainbow Rangers (2018)
Reviewed on behalf of a 4 year old.
This cartoon isn't meant for me so for me to review it is pointless. On behalf of my 4 year old I am giving it a 10. She loves it and that is all you need to know. We have spent a good few hours playing Rainbow Rangers where I have to be the bad guy and do evil plans and boobytraps. It has been great fun and she has learnt a thing or two along the way as well. I hope it brings happiness to more young children. It's standard formulaic kid's television. The Rangers are playing, something in the world is wrong, they get called to action, 3 of them are arbitrarily picked to solve it, they find out the same bad guy is to blame, they solve it, the end.
Ms. Marvel (2022)
Not for me
By the second episode I found myself skipping through to the end to see some of the action. I just can't get on board with it. It's a bog standard origin story which we've seen before mixed with teen high school drama. The only thing that's different about this is the diversity. I'll maybe persevere with one more episode if the action can be bothered to get going.
False Positive (2021)
Stop. Do not watch this film
This is without a doubt, the worst film I've seen. Appalling. The plot is nonsense, the acting is terrible. The direction is bad. The production is the worst. I don't know what the film is supposed to be. Is she suffering from PPD? Is the conspiracy real? Is it both? It never explains and is so badly edited and out together that you're left confused. Not one person in this film acts like a real life human being. They all make the weirdest decisions. And don't even get me started on the ending. I felt dirty having seen it. Grotesque.
Red Notice (2021)
Tedious
A badly acted film with twists for the sake of twists. You'll be glad once it has finished as it's just dumb. Save your time and effort and watch something else.
This Is Going to Hurt: Episode #1.6 (2022)
Heart wrenching
This episode out of all of them has stuck with me days after seeing it. It's an eye opener and makes you asks questions of yourself and your behaviour towards other people. A very impactful piece of tv.
Eternals (2021)
Power Rangers gets serious
Not the best offering in the MCU. It's over long and a bit dull. Some interesting bits and great visuals but it's just lacking. It's a film by numbers and I rarely felt invested in the characters. The characters rarely felt invested in themselves and would happily change beliefs at the drop of a hat. The bad guy was a bit like diet Ultron and given little time to impact the story. Hopefully they make more impact in the inevitable sequel.
What If...?: What If... Thor Were an Only Child? (2021)
So bad
This has to be written by the same fan that wrote T'Challa as star lord garbage. It's fan fiction from an 8 year old. Somehow Thor being an only child means he stays a man child and makes friends with all the characters from MCU films like Korg, Drax and Nebula and they all just want to party like they're frat boys. Even Surtur comes to Earth for a party. Absolute naff garbage. Nothing interesting at all.
What If...?: What If... T'Challa Became a Star-Lord? (2021)
What if T'Chala became Ace Rimmer?
I watched this a while ago now and it bugs me still. It's so awful and cheesy it's like some fan fic garbage. It's just dawned on me that they turned him into Ace Rimmer from Red Dwarf. A super guy who everyone loves and gets out of scrapes by using his charm. The only problem is that it isn't done for laughs or tongue in cheek. Watch this only if you want to be appalled at what they have done to some of the best MCU characters.
What If...?: What If... Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark? (2021)
The return of the king
Not sure why the low rating when this is considerably better than T'Chala becoming Star Lord. This one has a few interesting takes on alternative reality versions of characters. It does it far better than a nice Thanos and Nebula. Really enjoyed it.
Scoob! (2020)
Who was this made for?
It's like somebody asked an AI to create a film from Hannah Barbara characters and outdated pop culture references. It makes no sense at all. Are young kids interested in Simon Cowell cameos? It seems like a panel of 50 something's who've never seen a child before brainstormed this over a power lunch. Not worth the time to watch it.
Captain Marvel (2019)
Don't listen to the haters
Sit down with some popcorn and enjoy. It's nothing revolutionary but it's a decent film with a good cast. It's fun. Don't listen to the mansplainers telling you why you should hate it.
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
Don't waste your time.
What a dull piece of work. Despite all the great visuals and effort put into building the universe of this film, it is as dull as dishwater. The main complaint has to be the main character. He is either poorly written or poorly played by Dane Dehaan. He is not likable in the slightest and gives you no indication of how everything comes down to him saving the world. He just didn't fit in the film at all. No chemistry between him and Delevigne. It's like watching two bricks trying to flirt. We walked out it was so bad.
Dunkirk (2017)
Overrated
How this film is getting such rave reviews I'll never know. Technically and visually it's a stunning. After that it's pretty dull. It may be historically accurate, but I want to be entertained when I go see a film. I want a story. I want 3 dimensional characters. I want to engage with them. What I got was something that felt like tedious cut scenes in a computer game that never got to the fun part. I don't know if the lack of emotion in most characters was supposed to be stoicism, but when a young boy gets killed by accident they barely bat an eyelid. Just don't go expecting a blockbuster. Expect a big budget history channel reenactment.
Horrible Bosses 2 (2014)
Horrible
I don't normally review films as plenty of people manage to put across a good enough review. I feel so angry about how bad this film is that I really need to warn you about how bad it is. It's not funny and it's boring to add insult to injury. It does have a couple of funny moments in, but for a comedy film, that's nowhere near enough. The acting is bad, the script is bad, the plot is even worse. I don't need to say any more as you'll either watch it anyway or have watched it and are looking for reviews to prove you're not alone in hating this film. This is the second worse film I've seen this year behind Godzilla. I'm even doubting that the first film was as funny as I remember.