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Reviews
Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (2023)
Where are the monsters?
How about if Legacy of Monsters actually featured, you know, monsters. 95% people stuff. 5% monsters. Boo! Remember in the TV show Lost, when at the end of episode 1 season 1 they all had us thinking there was a dinosaur or monster on the island and it turned out to just be a narrative device to trick us into capturing and keeping our attention for as long as possible? Same trick, different costume. The opening scene, episode 1, there is a 5 minute action sequence of two CGI monsters fighting it out. "Awesome" we all think. Then nothing.... NOTHING! No monsters after that except a rare appearance here and there. They're fooling us into watching something that is bad, using the IP of something that is good. Yawn. Skip.
Hell House LLC Origins: The Carmichael Manor (2023)
Genuine creepy vibes
I enjoyed this instalment. Even though the story model remains more or less the same as the others, the tension and unnerving feelings managed to be effectively executed. I only have one gripe which was the main character was insufferable from beginning to end. I don't know why the screenwriter felt the need to make Margot obnoxious, arrogant, pig-headed, fundamentally unlikable and self-interested, especially seen as how we are supposed to be empathising with her the most, but it created a real divide between my willingness to root for her and my contempt towards her. The girlfriend and brother were likeable enough and I was on their sides when they were faced with conflict. But the lead was painful for me (the character not the actress). If they had written her differently I think I would've enjoyed this so much more. Regardless, as horror goes, this film produced enough sufficient scares to justify its existence.
Suitable Flesh (2023)
A love letter to 80s/90s camp B-grade horror
I really enjoyed this. It felt consciously crafted to honour the style and work of both H. P. Lovecraft and Stuart Gordon. It conveys a purposeful lack of factual reality in service of creating a special story-world tone that was commonly found in the 80s/90s Lovecraftian horror. At times it becomes a campy melodrama which adds to its fun, while at other times walking a fine line between emotional truth and absurdity. I get the feeling that modern audiences may not like this due to the association with H. P. Lovecraft and/or the lack of medical or emotional realism, but for me, that is exactly the point. I grew up on horror movies just like this - fun, campy, fleshy, sexy, they didn't take themselves or life too seriously while still conveying a message worth exploring. They weren't afraid to take some risks, and they didn't expect to win any oscars. These types of films have so much value. They offer us a glimpse into the depravity of our deepest desires and a shedding of the internalised scripts of social civility and explore the craziness that lives in all of us, challenging us beyond the comforts of our social conditioning and into our primal nature. Plus I'm a big fan of Barbara Crampton so this film very easily won me over.
The Exorcist: Believer (2023)
Didn't work
The plot bothered me. They cheated us. In the 73 version, Pazuzu was not actually out to claim Regan's soul. A random little girl wasn't ever its prize. She was just the bait to ultimately lure in and claim a holy man's soul as an insult to the Christian God, in which it was successful. The guts of that story hinged on Karras's loss of faith in his God and humanity, his journey to find it within himself, and then the deception of the demon to claim that now nourished soul in order to corrupt it (explored further in the 1990 follow up). This modern version had no such truth or stakes at its heart. The cheat comes in because one of the two girls was always doomed to hell from the beginning, and regardless of the outcome of the exorcism, Pazuzu was always going to win, making the story pointless. It renders the exorcism itself void and all of it just felt like a game that was rigged from the start (unless that was the point, but that wasn't made clear). And in this version, apparently Pazuzu is now interested in the souls of random girls for reasons that are never explained thematically or in the plot. In addition, they continued this terrible tradition, when it comes to the rules of reboots, by getting the trademark oldie, used her for 10 minutes of screen time, and then disposed of her in a very unsentimental and unjust way. Ellen Burstyn deserved so much better than this. The horror elements pushed no boundaries and it all felt like it lacked the brand of dread that makes The Exorcist 1 & 3 as infamous as they are. Wasted opportunity, or perhaps did not need to be made at all.
Gale Stay Away from Oz (2023)
This has a lot of potential - I'd love more
I enjoyed it. It's ambitious and could be something great. This short film is a prototype for what could potentially be a groundbreaking way to experience Oz through the horror genre. It has legs and many of the elements needed to take this where it needs to be. From a scriptwriting perspective it needs a lot more work on things like pacing and dialogue, but considering it's got little in the way of a budget, it gives us a glimpse of what it could be with some more work. I applaud Daniel Alexander for seeing an opportunity in a much loved piece of work. I first saw the preview a while back on TikTok and can tell you now the most people already guessed what the twist/reveal was based on a casting choice, however if the story finds it's way into a feature film, hopefully there are more twists to be discovered.
Mayfair Witches (2023)
Heavy on the mystery, not enough Mayfair or magic
It hasn't been adapted well. I think where the series has fallen down is that they've replaced necessary narrative elements, which would normally keep the story moving forward at a brisk pace, with excessive mystery by withholding too much from the audience, resulting in a stagnant plot. Too much of the mythology and the flavour has been cut out to squeeze only the core elements into 8 episodes from the entire 1000 page first novel of the trilogy. It was always doomed to fail trying to achieve this impossible task. The characters have very little personality on screen. This can be attributed to their conflicts, motives and histories being hidden from the audience, which is preventing any real connection being able to develop with us.
The lead character, Rowan, is simply a victim of circumstance, making her a passive character. Many things are happening around her (not really to her) and she is responding to them without having anything to engage with, so nothing about her is affecting change or revealing anything about who this character actually is. It also doesn't help that the narrative style is not using a clear 'cause-and-effect' pathway with scene events, resulting in the plot having no way of moving forward, creating a meandering tone and slow pace.
Characters are constantly providing exposition without it leading to action. The result being, Alexandra Daddario having nothing to work with in the writing so she has played Rowan as having an internal conflict about not knowing who she really is, but it's translating as neurotic, hyper-anxious and lacking confidence (which is the opposite of the novel version of Rowan). True personality can only be observed when a character is placed in a high pressure situation and they are forced to make choices, revealing who they are. Rowan (along with the rest of the characters) are lacking both the high pressure stakes needed to keep the story interesting while revealing to us who these people are. The outcome? Sad disengagement with a superficial look at a complex work, creating a missed opportunity of what could have been an extraordinary show about female empowerment in a time when the world really needs it.
The Langoliers (1995)
Nostalgic fun in liminal spaces
The original liminal spaces movie before liminal spaces was a well-known concept. I love the midday tele-movie vibes of The Langoliers. It may not be quality viewing for everyone, but if nothing else, it definitely captures a 90s nostalgia of melodramatic writing and acting which carries a certain type of fun and corny charm. As slowly paced out as the 3 hours may be, I'd argue that the cause and effect momentum from scene to scene is strong enough to pull it through. Low budget CGI, flat characters, and a tonne of over-explained assumed logic to justify the action of the characters to push the plot forward is hilarious and unintentionally entertaining. I revisit this every few years and it's always an easy and enjoyable watch.
American Horror Story (2011)
Season 11 review only - Awful and disrespectful
AHS S11 was atrocious. It's barely the AHS brand anymore. It should have fallen into the American Crime Story series not AHS. I'm a gay man, I appreciate stories to do with gay history and the HIV/AIDS epidemic in America in the 1980s but for goodness sake use another platform to do it with. The only thing I'm grateful for is that Murphy has satisfied whatever itch he had that compelled him to make this bummer of a season, paid his version of respect to our gay ancestors, now he can move the hell on and never do this again.
On a side note I'm also questioning how far we can push the 'raising awareness' argument versus exploitation for the sake of economy and entertainment, by turning the memories of the people who died of AIDS into a dark artistic expression for the sake of a tv show. You don't get to speak for all of us Murphy. Unless you've got some crucial perspective that hasn't yet been uncovered, which this was NOT it, then let the dead Rest In Peace. Leave the memories of these poor men alone.
Sissy (2022)
Missed the mark
This was a hard movie to sit through. It felt cringy on a lot of levels and I wasn't buying it. The theme was strong enough -- the impact of social media on Gen Zs mental health. But the quirky, stylistic filmic devices to present the world as hyper-unsettling were very distracting.
The dialogue was painfully forced and lacking depth, and rarely did a scene create an actual tone of authenticity between characters. The actors did a decent job with what they had to work with but the writing just did not work for me.
The titular character felt more like a metaphor than any human being that anyone could relate to. People don't get shaped into murderous psychopaths because of their unmet need for attention. It was just weird presenting it in this way.
Maybe I took this way too seriously and it's just supposed to be more of a horror comedy. I don't know, but it did not hit the mark for me.
This film would've been much more effective if it had been reduced down to a short horror as part of an anthology rather than trying to sustain itself as a full length feature.
Hellraiser (2022)
Hellraiser 2022
I really enjoyed this addition to the Hellraiser franchise. The lore has changed but seems to add to the mythos sometimes for the better and sometimes not. Jamie Clayton brings exactly what was needed with devotion to the hell priest, honouring the genius of Doug Bradley, while making the role uniquely her own.
The story had enough in it to keep interest, however I did find myself eager to get to the good stuff sooner. I hope that this is the first in a series of new films as I think it serves as an excellent set up. It left me wanting more. More of this world, more exploration of the lore, more cenobites and more hell.
Above all else, I did wish there was more gore which felt a little light in this film, considering the first two Hellraisers were hardcore and pushed the boundaries of practical effects in inventive ways for the 80s. I miss that level of authenticity. CGI dismemberment just doesn't quite feel the same.
One thing that did bother me was that Barker's original vision was all about morally deficient people who desire hell who are the only ones who could be taken (even if they opened the box, they would be spared if they weren't seeking out hell). This film changed that principle and it felt more like a slasher in the sense that the box/cenobites indiscriminently picked off the main group of characters who were innocents and triggered the box by accident. That felt more like a plot device to keep the story moving than the original spirit of exploring the various facets of messed up desires.
I tried to get onboard with the reinvention of the cenobites, specifically their costumes. Extraordinary as they were, I did miss the black leather as that was once such a major staple of their expression. Still these new looks had an intensity and violence all of their own.
Overall, I loved many elements of this film. The references to the original score gave me goosebumps and took me back to the originals. I'd recommend it with an open mind to the changes.
Grimcutty (2022)
Less of a horror and more of a message
We've seen this model of storytelling in a few horror films now. A non-speaking creepy monster is a manifestation of the issue being tackled in the film, while the metaphor lives very close to the surface. The Babadook is grief/mental illness, the witch in Slapface is bullying, and now Grimcutty is parental paranoia. This script formula is okay but it lacks any real horror or depth. These films would benefit from two things. Push the message deeper into the plot and not make them so obvious, while presenting more complicated characters, including the monster who should have a speaking role. However, these films serve their function, but left me with a MEH feeling.
Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)
Interesting message, tedious execution
Positives:
The central theme has something relevant to say. It reminded me of a cross between 'The Crucible' (1996) and 'Happy Birthday to Me' (1981), but relevant to the social media/Gen Z commentaries of today. It was also an original idea.
Negatives:
All the characters were written to be purposefully hatable. It was a real slog to sit with the feeling of not caring about a single one of them. The second & third acts lagged. When the real action begins 40 minutes in, it's difficult to sustain tension and it toppled into boredom in the second half. It is not the genre you are expecting. When an artist is trying to reinvent the wheel by subverting audience expectations, it needs to be done much better than this (like Scream). This film uses a one-off 'gotcha' trick that cannot and will not be replicated, but I also have to wonder if it was worth the effort. It isn't scary, suspenseful, or even funny, then again it's not really a horror or comedy movie (in the traditional sense) so it lives in some strange world of it's own like so many A24 films.
Resurrection (2022)
Strong message. Plodding execution.
The first half was a strong set up with an interesting way to represent how the power of past trauma and abuse can stay with us decades after we think we've got ourselves past it. Rebecca Hall consistently demonstrates her skill to create fascination in even the most subtle of moments. However, the second half, as expected, came off the rails in that way that so many independent films with a strong message do now. I'm officially not a fan of when the filmmaker takes the underlying metaphor and shifts it to the literal interpretation to convey the message. It becomes an exercise in interpreting symbolically ambiguous moments rather than engaging with an emotionally satisfying experience with an accessible ending.
Loot (2022)
Love Maya but this is lackluster
I really wanted to enjoy this but it felt as though the script wasn't developed enough to execute the character arc of 'the nice rich lady who lives in a bubble and learns to appreciate life' via comedy to its full potential. The humour is so subtle that it borders on dramedy without fully expressing neither drama nor comedy. It's light enough and easy to watch to fill in an evening's binge-watch, but don't expect much. Maya carries this to the best of her ability, and she is wonderful, but the writing is too flat for even the most skilled comedian to inject life into. Also, there is zero chemistry between any of the actors. Still, I like the attempt at creating something light-hearted during these stressful times to help lifts our spirits.
The Bloody Man (2020)
Not great but some fun qualities
This is a very strange mix of part 80s nostalgia, part singular slow burn narrative, part anthology stories scattered throughout, part horror, part campy. I was so confused, lol, but it wasn't all together unredeemable. The editing was pretty bad though which the film suffered for - too many weird silent gaps in between beats which slowed down the pacing to a distracting level. It was a lot of fun to see Lisa Wilcox and Tuesday Knight both from 'A Nightmare on Elm Street 4' work together again in the same film. The script may have benefited from having 40 minutes taken out of it. Regardless of the criticisms there was something fun and enjoyably stupid about this film.
Fire Island (2022)
A cliche-riddled journey towards a warm heart
I struggled with the first hour. It amped up the current-day gay cliches to extreme proportions. The dialogue was solely based around gay men, with gay personalities, talking about being gay, and discussing gay issues which left no space for anything else. On top of that you've got the lead character narrating throughout the entire movie about how we as the audience should feel about gay life. There was a lot of telling not showing.
However, in the moments when the plot positioned the social commentary to the background and had a chance to actually explore gay issues by seeing these men in various situations, as superficial as the exploration may have been, ultimately led to a well-meaning warm-hearted place. There were moments of genuine insight, and occasional laugh out loud moments peppered throughout, and Margaret Cho will never not be a delight to watch.
However the outcome felt a little undercooked and reliant on stereotyped one liners that often didn't land and an idea of what a gay screenwriter thinks what gay men want to see. I would have loved a high comedy version of the HBO TV series 'Looking' type experience where no cliches are allowed and all characters have depth and dimension. This exploration felt a little cynical, mean and lazy in parts.
Men (2022)
Pretentious and incomprehensible
I'm so over these symbolic-heavy, slow-moving, film student-esk type movies with a big budget. If the filmmaker can't make the effort to present an accessible narrative style, then I can't make the effort to care about it.
Firestarter (2022)
Lazy work
Missed opportunity. The original film was ordinary at best, which left the door open to create something fresh and expand on the world building aspect of firestarter. However, they glazed over so many potentially interesting details, The Shop, the antagonists, the parents origin story with the powers - hardly any effort was put into these details leaving the weight of the story dependant on the relationship between the father and daughter which was emotionally underdeveloped. There were no moments of earned drama or tension. The production design was overtly bland - so many scenes with dull conversations taking place in dull looking bedrooms - it looked cheap. The ending didn't really have a climax and made no sense.
It's worth being said that not all movies have to be good and that filmmakers and production companies are allowed to have space to fail from time to time - this is part of popular culture. Having said that, after 125 years of movies being made in the world, many fundamental things have been learned about basic narrative structure, and these types of mistakes demonstrate the inability of the artists to connect to the legacy of those who have come before them, leading to lazy work where everyone suffers because of it.
The Northman (2022)
Visually striking while emotionally sparse
After three Robert Eggers films, I can now articulate why I have a great appreciation for his directorial choices while simultaneously finding his films emotionally unengaging. His efforts go into making historically, culturally and symbolically rich films, with massive emphasis on visual aesthetics and masterfully artful cinematography. Without meaning to diminish these efforts I lean on the side on categorising his work as decorative cinema that explores primal subject matters in a hyper-intellectualised fashion.
Observing reenacted moments in history feels like I'm watching an extravagant documentary rather than an engaging plot. His use of archetypal-heavy characters, poetically theatrical language and unconventional exploration of genre, combined with the extensive research to add an air of authenticity places a wedge between the audience to connect with emotionally engaging characters.
The work itself is engaging for those who wish to appreciate the art of cinema and linguistic academia, but his ability to command an audiences emotional landscape is rarely present. His characters are drenched in a cultural and emotional reality that are too far removed from ours to even understand how, as an audience member, we are supposed to adjust our viewing perspective to try and make a human connection.
If the unique language of the characters wasn't so culturally accurate (I assume it is) I may stand a chance of understanding what they're actually saying. However this poetry puts me in mind of how I feel about Shakespeare; brilliant for those who have a command of the language, but leaves the rest of us without a clue what is being said and have to interpret the story through the mood and action.
So I often feel like I'm at a loss with his narrative style. I appreciate them as films, but as stories they don't leave me feeling nourished or changed. Having said that, I'm still glad that they exist for the demographic who are able to make the connections that I wish I could.
Roar (2022)
A female-centric twilight zone
I'm a huge fan of female-centric stories. All of the messages contained within this anthology series is an opportunity to take something away from each. The performers brought the high quality that we've come to expect. The cinematography was first-rate.
I did struggle with the overtly allegorical narrative style, as each subject matter tends to be delivered somewhat on the nose, which is kind of the point I guess. However this style of using the metaphor to blur the lines between realism and symbolic carries with it a distinct air of an ambitious student art film project.
All forms of self-expression are valid and this is no exception. It just takes some open-mindedness and adjustment as an audience member to participate in this experience.
X (2022)
Xcellent
This film was exactly what current horror movies should strive for. Ti West has ascended to the ranks of a horror master by giving us this gem. He takes many typical horror tropes and somehow flips them all on the head to give them new life in an honest way. It was the perfect balance between fun and campy, and suspenseful and gruesome without being too vicious. And most importantly it excels in the number one rule that many of the modern horrors forget to include in their attempt to convey the message - it's actually scary! The story communicates universally relevant themes using a tight narrative style that demonstrates that films can still explore important issues without taking themselves too seriously. These types of movie gems restore my faith in the horror genre.
The Batman (2022)
Brilliant and multilayered
An exceptional version of a superhero film. The Batman raises the bar and sets a new standard. Rooted in the tonal realism and grit of the more recent DC universe, this Reeves rendition transcends the genre and breaks new ground by exploring a neo noir perspective, fresh character introspection, societal and political commentary, while utilising every bit of the structure to not waste a minute of this 3 hour film to tie every element together to create this masterpiece. While this film purposefully chooses to omit the element of comedy, it doesn't lose any of the fun in the process.
Hellbender (2021)
Hellbender has heart
Hellbender is an authentic exploration of the shifting dynamics between a mother and teen daughter in a supernatural context. The genre's dominant tone was horror, while employing elements of a coming-of-age story and a pinch of fantasy. The horror aspects felt more stylistic than scary (for me at least) however it was the rich character's, beautifully performed, that forgave any tonal discrepancy.
These low budget independent films that are able to comfortably walk the tightrope between entertainment versus art while managing to pack an effective visual and subtle emotional punch deserve so much support. These are the types of expressive voices that really need to be heard. Worth a watch.
Scream (2022)
Meta mania
I'm straight down the middle on this one. Appreciated the aspects of 90s horror nostalgia; and creating this film to honour the memory of Wes Craven was heartfelt.
On the other hand, I have no love for this meta trend - these films contain a self-imposed importance that always feel like they're looking at the value of the original film from the outside in, rather than the creation of something knew. It's like when you hold up a mirror to a mirror and all you see is an infinity of the same reflection.
I miss the days of a regular variety of original films that had something real to say, as opposed to this current age of trying to relive what was special about those, now outdated, ideas; the result of which becomes film as content, as opposed to meaningful stories. Let's have another creative gold rush of unique ideas. I want to hear what the new crop of filmmakers have to say in voices that have yet to be heard.
Bingo Hell (2021)
Heartfelt, goofy yet significant
A heartfelt horror/comedy with a great balance of gruesomeness and character connection. The residents of a small, impoverished, American town are struggling to remember who they once were in a community who has forgotten its true identity. Seduced by a nefarious newcomer, this Faustian story will test the moral fibre of this tribe presenting them with a fight for the very soul of their town.
This struck a note of sincerity based on the authenticity of the well developed characters and the exploration of the every day problems of the real people in America. This has all the ingredients to be a cult horror B-grade classic. A simple yet effectively executed message about people being tested and self-discovery in a light hearted comedy/horror context. Fun yet significant.