tatjanakueth Reviews

I'm Glad It's Christmas (2022 TV Movie)

Another one of those Christmas movies

[2/10 · 25 December 2023]

...where women don't deserve a shot at a career. So plot: Detroit girl Chloe moves to the Big Apple to make it big on Broadway - which of course is not happening. So she jobs in a gift shop in Jersey Until on one of those days when she is already late for work she bumps into small time jingle writer Jason. She continues singing everywhere and anytime for no apparent reason and people seem to be utterly charmed by her fabulous voice. And luck will have it that the lady who owns the building where the shop is located hears her and decides to rope Chloe and Jason into some amateur musical production of the neighbourhood. Jason is of course immediately in love with Chloe but to make things unnecessarily complicated, he is divorced and has a daughter so he can OF COURSE not let any girl nilly willy into their lives, and Chloe does not want to get involved as she has had it with the unsuccessful auditions and wants to go back to Detroit.

To make a tediously long story short: of course she finally catches a break and gets an audition on the exact same day and at the same time of the small neighbourhood production. After trying to move the audition it turns out the big time producer has no other time slot so now she has to choose: stick to the silly little musical thing or actually go to an audition that might in fact make her dream come true. And impressively she actually decides to go for the audition (good for you, girl). And while the lady producing the little neighbourhood show and love interest Jason seem supportive at first, dear Jason really turns out to be a bit of an idiot about it, when he tells Chloe that she should not come by the show after her audition cause he thinks his daughter got too attached to her and once she is famous on broadway Chloe won't have the time of day for them so it was better if she did not see his daughter. Nice one!!! So guilt ridden poor Chloe heads off to her audition and what does she do? You guessed it, she turns around and goes to the stupid little amateur show. Now of course this is TV so the nice little lady producing the amateur show happens to actually know the broadway producer and we have a happy end and both Jason and Chloe might get hired by her. So thank goodness because if only Chloe had gotten the job it would be likely dear Jason would have had to break up with her, as he already mentioned, she would have no time for him and his daughter if she had a career and was successful.

I have incredibly low standards for these movies already, but this one actually managed to pass under my limit, kudos for that. Acting terrible, script predictable Merry Christmas!

Love Is Blind (2020– )

So dumb...yet cannot stop watching

[4/10 · 26 June 2023]

This show is the ultimate guilty pleasure, you feel guilty and ashamed admitting you watch it yet it is just too fantastic to stop. The level of stupid is unparalleled. And just the perfect show for lousy weather and you really really don't want to watch anything you need to concentrate on or actually use any part of your brain actively. Frankly, you may lose some brain cells watching this. So at your own risk... The concept is straight forward: without phones and access to social media, you stuff a bunch of barbies and kens (cause love maybe blind in theory but nobody wants to see fat or handicapped people find love) into a big brother situation (men and women separated of course) and have them blind date for 10 days. Out of 15 men and 15 women they interestingly have a very stable outcome of 6 couples resulting from the unrealistic dating conditions. Once the matches are made the couples are shipped off to a pre-mature honey moon to see if the physical fits the emotional connection. If you are lucky you get some extra drama with couples breaking up already during the honey moon. And then to really mess with them, they all get to meet each other, keeping in mind they all dated each other and have some sort of connection, creating more potential for ultimate drama. Final stage, give them their phones back and bring them back to their home town (luckily they pick them from the same city otherwise it would be too complicated) and move them into the same apartment complex for two weeks where they can play grownups (cause they most definitely are not) with the grand finale being the wedding day at which they have to make the final decision, marry or not get married. During that time they introduce their new fiancé(e)to friends and family which adds an additional angle of drama. So this show does not only wield the power to completely ruin two people's lives but their families' along with it! Extra points for maximum destruction potential. Fondly remembering season 3 Bartise saying no to Nancy and Nancy's family basically piling up on him. I for sure thought this was going to end up in a fist fight. After that it is as RuPaul sings Blame it on the Edit and the show editors create their narrative. Anything can be taken out of context, what the viewer gets to see may not reflect reality or the entire story (See Zanab and Cole in season 3). I still think she was putting him down and he was an idiot with an unfiltered childish brain. All of this seems to be supported with vast amounts of alcohol that most certainly helps lower inhibitions.

This show has one purpose for me and that is to feel good about my life and my life choices seeing how people do not at all seem to understand the concept of mariage, create drama for absolutely nothing but attracting viewers and being at a level of shamelessly dumb that one nearly needs to applaud them.

There is the odd couple to root for, like Lauren and Camron (season 1) who were adorable. But other than that you wonder how much of the scenarios are to a certain degree scripted or led by producers cause there is no way people could act like that in real life (then again if they do we are worse off than I feared).

The unsung heroes of this show are however the metal glasses! A huge shout out to having these star in every scene and shot. Even in restaurants where you'd for sure not get this style of glass, production dragged them along cause otherwise the editing will be a nightmare with constantly changing levels of drinks in transparent glasses.

The show would also make for a fabulous drinking game, take a shot every time somebody uses the word like in a sentence. You'd be sloshed out of your brain after 2 minutes. As it appears none of these people have the vocabulary to speak full articulate sentences without throwing like at least three times into one sentence.

Time to Eat with Nadiya (2019– )

Charming - Combining Mary Berry and Inside the Factory

[9/10 · 8 October 2022]

I gave it a shot the other night and found it relatable and a nice watch that gave me a couple of ideas to make myself.

First off let's get real - also with regards to the other reviews - who goes out every bloody day to the farmer's market to pick up organically sourced veggies and meat and makes everything from scratch (while working 10 hour days potentially at minimum wage and has to take care of 3 kids). So, yes Nadiya promotes using shop bought cause that is REALISTIC. The point in watching a cooking show is feeling inspired and attempting the recipes on your own. And the truth is most of us don't have the time or the money to buy and prep everything fresh. Could they have focused a little more on bio and organic? Yes! No doubt. But that does not mean that what she makes is as bad as junk food.

Is everything she makes healthy? No. But then no cooking show shows ONLY health food. Also it is not called Healthy Eating with Nadiya or Nadiya's Super food to live forever. It remains geared towards people who cannot or don't have time to cook. To motivate them to cook themselves rather than doing take-outs all the time. And yeah she uses canned and frozen food. I doubt that one drained can of spaghetti-os over otherwise fresh fish and fresh veggies is going to kill you. And you can certainly swap out for other fresh products or more veggies.

Then there is her visits to factories (some people may know the British show Inside the Factory) it feels much like that and is just meant to give you a brief behind the curtains look of how things are produced. Did they painfully avoid the question of antibiotics on the Salmon Farm? Yep they probably did. Do we have to hate her and the whole program because of that? No. It was not a great production choice.

I did appreciate the ideas and I am surely going to try the pancake tray bake and the egg rolls.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

Entertaining but overall disappointing

[4/10 · 24 September 2022]

Man, was I excited to see the new Thor! I loved Ragnarok and Taika Waititi did an amazing job on that one. Now, in hindsight I am glad I did not waste 50 bucks on cinema tickets (yes, the movies are expensive here) to see Love and Thunder, cause it was really not worth it.

Thor is basically back to being the idiot he was in the first movie and worse, he felt like the constant comic relief, all muscle no brain. I sort of felt that Korg should have been the only comedic character. Making characters fun and giving them punchlines, yes, but not constant dumb nut behavior. It also felt inconsistent with Thor's character development over the previous films. And no the nude scene did not make up for that.

Nathalie Portman is back as Dr. Jane Foster or The Mighty Thor. I liked the idea but the end was sadly predictable. And Tessa Thompson reprised her role as Valkyrie - sorry - KING Valkyrie. But it did not feel like either added much to the movie.

And then there is Christian Bale, well known as a method actor, it was an odd juxtaposition of the very serious Gorr - the God Butcher and Thor - The comic relief. Bale acted the sh*** out of his role compared to the others. It felt like he was the only one taking this seriously while the others went day drinking with Taika. It felt somehow disconnected, but maybe that was the idea? And I am sorry, what was that accent, Russell Crowe??? Playing fat, Greek Zeus, I applaud the courage to being ugly and fat (that or he just aged badly), but I hate nothing more than actors doing stupid accents. We know Zeus is greek, I am pretty sure he did not speak english with a weird Greek accent. (Reminiscent of Red Sparrow and J Law - sorry I love her but that was unbearable - doing a Russian accent the entire bloody movie).

Now sorry spoiler: Thor fighting Gorr more or less without actual success with an army of children, which was more creepy than funny, only to in the end sort of lose (ending up with somebody else's child and losing your girlfriend is not really winning). And now he is the pancake making daddy who roughs up the bad guys with his adopted weird daughter? I am already scared of the next installment.

I think what I loved about Ragnarok was Taika sticking to it being ultimately a comic book, the use of color and sense of humor and brilliant music, while still having a certain touch of seriousness about it was mindblowing and absolutely fabulous. Love and Thunder felt like the script was born at 3am under the influence and with an f it we're just gonna wing it shrug.

I always prefer Marvel to DC for the exact reason that they don't take themselves too serious and that you can have a great laugh while being entertained. Sadly with Thor: Love and Thunder that was not the case. Entertaining yes still, cause action. But I just felt it was like a nonstop sketch and non stop slap stick which after a while just gets boring and borderline annoying. So now I am waiting for the next Guardians and hope that won't be a disappointment.

Baymax! (2022)

So adorable

[9/10 · 2 July 2022]

It is our friend Baymax helping out! Loads of cute short stories with him helping in the café, supporting a girl for her first period and even if you are a kitten he is there to help. It is cute, loveable, funny and helpful. And I commend Disney for their inclusiveness, diversity and treating all of these topics for what they are: regular every day situations dealt with by all people all over the world! How did you feel when you had your first period? I sure would have loved a balloon medical robot buy my pads for me!

Inside the Factory (2015– )

Good idea - god awful presenting

[7/10 · 28 June 2022]

I love watching how things are made, get a little added info of the history and feel educated and entertained, and then Gregg Wallace shows up. His overbearing school boy « amazed at everything » act is so terribly annoying. He is irritating and obnoxious and I swear most of the time you see the poor people hand picked to give him the tour cringe at his horrific demeanour. And not enough that they let him loose on the British factory workers, they sent him to France and Germany where his condescending, dumb act is even less well understood than in his home country. I get it, he has to ask « seemingly dumb » questions so the people explain to the audience why I need a screw in this thing, or yeast in bread or whatever. But can he not do that in a way that seems less like he is on an energy drink high? Cherry and Ruth are doing such a great job and the show is really well done, just get rid of Gregg or tell him to bloody tone it down!

The Bubble (2022)

This is what happens when actors get bored

[1/10 · 15 April 2022]

I made it through the first hour and about half an hour of that I was not even watching. We finally could not bear to continue anymore.

So I will never find out whether there was actually a story going on. I think it is safe to assume: No!

A bunch of actors holed up in a "Bubble" being obnoxious Divas. They must have thought it was fun but it probably hits a lot closer to home than most know.

Karen Gillan must have been bored out of her mind during the Pandemic to agree to this stupid movie.

Netflix clearly has too much money to throw at projects. Sometimes it is gold like "Don't look up" and sometimes it is "The Bubble"

The Green Knight (2021)

Beautifully Senseless

[3/10 · 15 April 2022]

The film is apparently based on the medieval legend of the knight Gawain who chops of the head of a tree monster (The Green Knight) at Christmas. Apparently that is meant to be a game and a year later Gawain has to journey to find the Green Knight to receive the same hit in return. Now basically that means dude's gonna die.

The entire journey while beautifully shot is filled with seemingly pointless small stories and an even more pointless CGI fox who becomes Gawain's buddy.

After a series of pointless stops on the way he finds the knight and of course instead of holding his head he runs, lives a disappointing life as king ending with losing his son. At which point it turns out this was all in his mind (or at least that is my interpretation) and he decides to let the Green Knight chop his head of.

Now, while I appreciated the cinematography and the depiction of the time which was likely closer to realistic than your usual Hollywood block buster the entire film felt like an acid trip. As if Monty Python redid the Holy Grail, but meant it whole heartedly serious! I presume if you are familiar with the tale you get more out of the movie, but I have to honestly say it was way too out there. There was no connection to the protagonists and I still cannot believe I made it to credits. So I was glad I did not see it in the cinema.

Love Hard (2021)

Exactly what you expect

[8/10 · 12 December 2021]

Netflix Holiday Rom Com at its finest. Cute Story, Disney Style Moral, diversity and just the right amount of annoying confusion, plus modern pop-culture references we all get, make it the perfect Christmas romantic comedy. You know Netflix hit the mark when you notice you have been smiling all through the film and go Aaaaaaawe at the end.

Is it an Oscar worthy master piece? No! But it is exactly what you want for the season.

Season of Love (2019)

Keep your expectations low

[4/10 · 11 December 2021]

With great reviews and a website hailing it as The lesbian Love Actually we went in with equally great expectations! 5 seconds into the movie it was clear, we were watching another low budget, badly written, badly produced, badly acted lesbian rom-com. The issue is, by now we know how great LGBTQ+ movies can be if Netflix or Hulu get behind them (The Happiest Season, Single All the Way). Cringeworthy dialogues, shaky camera handling, terrible editing and acting that is just a smidge above daytime scripted-reality shows is what you had to contend yourself with if you watch this movie. The three story-lines are simple and predictable and while I so wanted to like the movie, it was literally only the story of Mardou and Iris that managed to make me go ok, that was kinda cute. This movie will not make it onto my annual Christmas movie list, sadly.

The Irregulars (2021)

Disappointed

[1/10 · 27 March 2021]

I am ok with Netflix being unapologetically diverse. This is sci-fi! It was not meant to be realistic to begin with! So I can see beyond the skin color, the modern music. What I cannot look beyond is shoddy acting. They may as well have been holding the script in hand! I made it 3/4 through episode 1 when I decided enough is enough. The usual case of Netflix blindly throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks. This one fell off and flat on the face.

Sugar Rush (2018–2020)

Good to pass time - watchable

[5/10 · 11 October 2020]

The concept of saving time during two rounds of baking (cup cakes and confections) to use the remainder in the cake round final is not bad. Yet, in which world do cookies qualify as confection?They might as well call the second round: Anything but cup cakes or real cakes.

I can just imagine how this show came about, when especially munchy Netflix execs with a sweet tooth wanted to eat cake: Let's do a baking show! Great idea! And poor Adriano Zumbo probably did not see the fine print in his contract that Netflix (after buying his Australian show) now owned him and could put him on any baking show judging panel they saw fit.

The contestants range from adorable to you want to throw your kitchen aid at them! The judges are bearable though I want to slap Candice every time she labels pink frosting or decoration as feminin. Talking about backward stereotyping. Adriano Zumbo is great. (I did like his show Zumbo's Just Deserts). And I felt awkward for him every time when host Hunter March seemed to hit on him, talking about sexual harassment in the work place. And then there is the Host Hunter March! The guy has the personality of the annoying fret boy who nobody really likes but he still shows up to all the parties. He repeats the same lines in literally every show!!!! And that makes sense cause if he goes off script he is just terrible!

Let's face it! This is not The Great British Bake Off. But if you like some silly time pass and baking that might just work for you.