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Reviews
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
Mr & Mrs Sh**, more like
Truly, truly awful and offensive in every way possible. Let's diagnose why this stupendously awful movie managed to dribble from a studio with two supposedly really good actors and a need to have a box office hit at some point in the next year or so.
1. The 'thrilling' Pitt/Jolie off-screen romance has somehow been Lost In Translation and we're left with an Act One that assumes you know the characters already. Jolie's character is totally unlikeable and there's no chemistry between the actors whatsoever.
2. The film manages to steal substantially from True Lies and Grosse Pointe Blank, taking the husband/wife secret life story from the former and the face off of two professional killers from the latter. Shame it didn't take the wit and action from the first and the humor from the second.
3. The special effects sequences are too loud, noisy, confusing and ultimately uninvolving. There's a point where two cars flip after being shot at, which was the sort of the bizarre special effect that I thought we'd left in the 1970s. The end scene is really dumb, too: it's worth seeing (on DVD) just to see how badly it fails.
I'm going to slam this on the IMDb as soon as I get over the annoyance of having lost $20 to watch this. If the Cinderella Man Money-Back Guarantee had been in place, I would have been screaming to the manager but alas too much cinema is caveat emptor.
By the way, while I respect most comments from IMDb members, I urge those who liked this film to give it a second reviewing and reconsider.
Before Sunset (2004)
Great dialog, zero direction
I had to give this a 3/10, even though I think it's a better film than that, just to do something about the abhorration of it being in the IMDb Top 250. We have some serious soul-searching to do if we really believe that.
Anyway, amazing a great evening at dinner listening to two people having a fascinating conversation that you're not part of, and you walk away feeling that you wish you were most interesting. At the same time, the restaurant food wasn't that great and you were only ten bucks down.
Essentially, I've not seen a film with such little direction before. I'm sorry, let me be more specific - Derek Jarman's Blue - gets the title for least direction, and Batman & Robin gets the title for Most Appalling Direction of Global Movie History. But this does something different in that it's like strapping a camera to my head while I walk around Paris all day (slowly) and then dubbing a fascinating conversation on the top.
Still, even though the dialog is great, dialog alone does not a great film make. It's a play wearing the dress of a movie. I hear there's a sequel in the pipeline by the way.
Blue (1993)
Oh my God
Anyone who's been to the Tate in London or MOMA in New York finds themselves facing an interesting dilemma: am I being ignorant or is this some joke I'm not getting? Do I not understand the importance of having a canvas all one color, or is someone getting paid for a much easier job than I have? Should I publicly deride this load of nonsense, or get rid of my briefcase, buy some square black glasses, and get short spiky hair? And so it is with this glorious practical joke of a movie that has Mr Jarman laughing to the bank, Tilda Swinton getting so surreal that at some point her body is going to evaporate from the implausibility of her entire career, and once more goodbye to another ten dollars wasted on a popcorn-less experience at some new weird Village cinema.
I'd really be interested to hear if anyone disagrees at me, but first please qualify your comments with a disclaimer guaranteeing that you've not taken Class A drugs recently, and don't have said square glasses and spiky hair. Gentlemen, the floor is yours.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)
One of the worst movies ever made
No cohesion, no plot - no idea what on earth was going on. A complete waste of two hours for a movie with absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever. Quite a shock to see so much talent wasted. But then, what do you expect from the director that made Spy Kids. I'm staggered that anyone has anything to say that's positive about this film. Quite simply terrible.
Vanilla Sky (2001)
Quite unique
A very difficult film, but one that uniquely crosses many genres. It's difficult to understand initially, to understand if it has worked, but with repeated viewings you can only conclude that it's a modern classic and it's too early to comment.
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
Quite simply astonishing
I'm quite a fan of mainstream sci-fi movies, but even so I have to say this is one of the most breathtaking movies ever made. This is not because of the story, dialog, music, or other factors which normally contribute to a film.
First, visually, it clearly pushes CGI limits to the next level, way beyond what we've come to expect from such films as Shrek and Toy Story. Second, the realism of the picture creates a future environment that we have never seen before in a cinema, and will probably lead to many imitations in the same way Star Wars, the Matrix or Terminator 2 have. Most importantly, however, is that the audience becomes used to the CGI environment of the film and quickly accepts the stylization, meaning that in essence the CGI element has worked.
As a prototype and leader, I'm hugely impressed with this movie and can't wait to read more of the technical background. Be sure to read the latest Cinefex for info.