I just bought FANTASY MISSION FORCE along with MASTER WITH CRACKED FINGERS on DVD and, as Luke Skywalker says: "What a piece of junk!" This movie is so horrid it's funny. Jackie is not the star, by the way. That crazy Jimmy Wang Yu is. NOTE: On various websites I've read this film was supposed to be funny. If it was, then these people aren't doing a very good job.
Reviews
20 Reviews
"Junior! Junior?"
27 November 2001
Dunt-duh-da, dunt-duh-da-da da! INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE! The most popular of the Indiana Jones series (around non-movie freaks) introduces a young Indy (played by River Phoenix) and his bumbling father, played wonderfully by Sean Connery. Finally, 5 years after the inferior INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM, disappointed Indy Jones fans walked back into the theater to see this wonderful entry in the Indiana Jones series. Great for a family movie, but rated PG-13. But, is this the last Indiana Jones crusade? The world may never know...
Armour of God
(1986)
Flight of the Dragon
27 November 2001
"Mountains will yield to me, thunder will roar, but as long as I walk the earth, dragon will soar." The theme song for the movie says it all.
The spectacular Jackie Chan classic film ARMOUR OF GOD (aka OPERATION CONDOR 2: THE ARMOUR OF THE GODS and LUNG HING FOO DAI) was a hit around the world, and still is.
Jackie Chan stars as Jackie, aka "the Asian Hawk", an Indiana Jones-style adventurer who travels the world gathering ancient artifacts. Suddenly, his ex-girlfriend Lorelei (Rosamund Kwan, ONCE UPON A TIME IN CHINA) is kidnapped, and his old friend Alan (Alan Tam, ONCE UPON A TIME A HERO IN CHINA) comes to Jackie for help. The monks that have kidnapped her will not give her up, however, unless they have the mysterious armor of god...but here's another problem...Jackie just sold three pieces of the armor of god! So he goes to the buyer, who finally agrees to give him the armor, but - 1., he must bring back a complete set - 2., he must bring his daughter (beautiful Lola Forner, Miss Spain, WHEELS ON MEALS) along with him. He does, and, after many travels, he rescues Lorelei.
Great film, a must-see for adventure fans, with great music, story, and action. Especially funny is a scene in which Jackie fights a group of warrior women. Rated R in the USA for a naked woman (in the beginning) and for violence (also in the beginning).
Conclusion: BUY it!
The spectacular Jackie Chan classic film ARMOUR OF GOD (aka OPERATION CONDOR 2: THE ARMOUR OF THE GODS and LUNG HING FOO DAI) was a hit around the world, and still is.
Jackie Chan stars as Jackie, aka "the Asian Hawk", an Indiana Jones-style adventurer who travels the world gathering ancient artifacts. Suddenly, his ex-girlfriend Lorelei (Rosamund Kwan, ONCE UPON A TIME IN CHINA) is kidnapped, and his old friend Alan (Alan Tam, ONCE UPON A TIME A HERO IN CHINA) comes to Jackie for help. The monks that have kidnapped her will not give her up, however, unless they have the mysterious armor of god...but here's another problem...Jackie just sold three pieces of the armor of god! So he goes to the buyer, who finally agrees to give him the armor, but - 1., he must bring back a complete set - 2., he must bring his daughter (beautiful Lola Forner, Miss Spain, WHEELS ON MEALS) along with him. He does, and, after many travels, he rescues Lorelei.
Great film, a must-see for adventure fans, with great music, story, and action. Especially funny is a scene in which Jackie fights a group of warrior women. Rated R in the USA for a naked woman (in the beginning) and for violence (also in the beginning).
Conclusion: BUY it!
The Protector
(1985)
I wish someone was protecting us from this film!
26 November 2001
THE PROTECTOR. You hear the name. You think, "ah, it's a crappy Hong Kong movie." Guess what - it's not Hong Kong. And yes, it is crappy. This amazingly stupid Jackie Chan film, ruined by us, yes us, the Americans (I'm boiling with anger, ooh, I think I'll jump out that window!), has Chan as a New York cop hunting down a gang, avenging the death of his buddy. Sounds cool...but it's not. Don't waste your money renting it. To prove he could make a better cop film, Chan made the amazing POLICE STORY (1985).
Drunken Master
(1978)
Strange but still a great Chan!
11 October 2001
I'm sorry about my other review for this title. My review was actually for the film DRUNKEN WUTANG. Anyway... I recently won this film on DVD and, well, what a film! While of course not as good as the later THE LEGEND OF DRUNKEN MASTER, this film is still funny! I love hearing the wooshing of the wind and slam of the punches. It was very funny! This film answers the question of how Wong Fei Hung (here called Freddy) learned Drunken Boxing. From his uncle, Sam Seed! This is a very great film, and I recommend to all film viewers (except for the picky ones) and a must-see for all Jackie Chan fans!
The Transformers: The Movie
(1986)
Transformers, more than meets the eye, the movie, not exactly pie
13 September 2001
THE TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE is a very good and interesting film, but not exactly my idea of pie. If you don't understand what's going on, this movie may seem crap, but if you do, it's really a good movie. I mean, could YOU do any better? THE TRANSFORMERS seems like it's one TV show that's almost impossible to put into a movie! Great voices by everyone, especially Leonard Nimoy as Galvatron and Judd Nelson as Hot Rod and Rodimus Prime. Featuring some very memorable scenes, including the sad (hey, didn't you cry, hmmm? Tell the truth...) death of Optimus Prime and Megatron's demise.
The movie also introduces some new characters, such as Galvatron, Roduimus Prime, Wreck-Gar, Ratbat, and the almighty Unicron. The music, by Vince DiCola, goes along perfectly with film, featuring a great soundtrack and excellent voices. A very good movie, the best animated one I've ever seen. Not as crappy as some make it sound.
The movie also introduces some new characters, such as Galvatron, Roduimus Prime, Wreck-Gar, Ratbat, and the almighty Unicron. The music, by Vince DiCola, goes along perfectly with film, featuring a great soundtrack and excellent voices. A very good movie, the best animated one I've ever seen. Not as crappy as some make it sound.
Rebirth of Mothra III
(1998)
Didn't expect quite as much
11 September 2001
This is one of the new REBIRTH OF MOTHRA trilogy films. As I have not seen the other two movies (though I have seen the original 1961 film), I will not say that this is the best of the series, though it probably is. Featuring the D**M COOLEST King Ghidorah design EVER and a look at a baby Ghido, this is cool film! But the dinosaur effects are the worst ever. I mean, they look like crappy-looking moving TOYS! NOTE: This movie is not released in the US.
Mothra
(1961)
Great, classic I. Honda film
11 September 2001
This is one of the best monster movies I've ever seen. This is one Honda's best films! The characters are very good, the effects are better than most of Toho/Daiei's films, and the monster is NEAT! A definate must-see for monster fans or classic sci-fi fans. Excellent! E-X-C-E-L-L-E-N-T!
Rodan
(1956)
Very good classic sci-fi, great I. Honda film
11 September 2001
This is a very different film than most of those classic 'ol science fiction films. RODAN is a science fiction classic directed by who I believe to be Japan's best film director, Ishiro Honda. Featuring the daikaiju Rodan(s), one of which would later appear in the Godzilla films GHIDRAH THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER, MONSTER ZERO, DESTROY ALL MONSTERS and GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA II, and a not so dai kaiju Meganuron (later to appear in GODZILLA X MEGAGUIRAS). A very good sci-fi film. Rent it when you get the chance, or watch on TV. Or, better yet, BUY IT! (If you can find it)
Vegas Vacation
(1997)
Better than European Vacation
17 August 2001
The final of the National Lampoon 'Vacation' series is one of the better. But it is quite different than the other films. In fact, I don't even think it was made by National Lampoon.
"Yeah, life is good."
In fact, there's actually a sad part in the film. I THOUGHT IT WAS A COMEDY!!!!!!!!!!!
And, the theme song, "Holiday Road", doesn't happen until around the middle of the film. Boo-hoo.
Watch it on TV. It not's the kind o' movie you'd rent.
"Yeah, life is good."
In fact, there's actually a sad part in the film. I THOUGHT IT WAS A COMEDY!!!!!!!!!!!
And, the theme song, "Holiday Road", doesn't happen until around the middle of the film. Boo-hoo.
Watch it on TV. It not's the kind o' movie you'd rent.
Pig in a Poke
17 August 2001
This is definately the worst Vacation film ever! What the heck, National Lampoon? Still a very good movie, entertaining, but the worst Lampoon. The average comedy film, I suppose. Chevy Chase returns along with his MOST ALWAYS WORRYING wife Beverly D'Angelo, with some new people playing the *snotty and ANNOYING* kids. How annoying can kids get? (Not much more than this) Still, a good film to wake ya up in the morning. Rent it when you're bored or watch it on TV. No difference. Watch some other VACATION film instead. (Or Animal House)
Indy returns but the adventure doesn't
17 August 2001
The tagline for this film is true for Indy but not the movie. 1984's Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is still a film highlight but nothing as special as Raiders of the Lost Ark. The action is plentiful, and there is a heavy amount of gore in this film. A good film, overall, but definately not an idol.
"We're going to die, Willie!"
"We're going to die, Willie!"
Raiders of the Lost Ark
(1981)
Adventure DOES have a name!
17 August 2001
THIS MUST BE THE BEST FILM OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Indiana Jones' first film, Raiders of the Lost Ark, made in 1981. Featuring amazing acting, state-of-the-art special effects, a very memorable soundtrack and a great plot, this movie will entertain people for generations to come. I love this film!
"It's just a priceless medallion Marion, you going to give it to me or not?"
The priceless part is wrong, but the Medallion part, yes. This is definately a golden idol of films. Every even remote movie fan should see this. WHAT an amazing film! RENT IT!! YOU WON'T REGRET IT!
"Trust me."
"It's just a priceless medallion Marion, you going to give it to me or not?"
The priceless part is wrong, but the Medallion part, yes. This is definately a golden idol of films. Every even remote movie fan should see this. WHAT an amazing film! RENT IT!! YOU WON'T REGRET IT!
"Trust me."
Groovy baby, yeah!
16 August 2001
Mr. Powers is back, and his mojo is here along with him! (For about thirty minutes anyway) The most anticipated film of 1999 is by far the best and funniest!
Yeah baby, yeah!
The second of the hilariously funny Austin Powers films has Myers returning as Powers and Evil, with Fat...um, you know. Plus an all-star cast such as Heather Graham and Michael York. Seth Green is also back as Dr. Evil's son Scott. Oh yeah...Mr. Bigglesworth returns too, with a miniature Dr. Evil...
I shall call him...Mini-Me!
So, would say this film is groovy or...evil? (laughs maniacally)
Yeah baby, yeah!
The second of the hilariously funny Austin Powers films has Myers returning as Powers and Evil, with Fat...um, you know. Plus an all-star cast such as Heather Graham and Michael York. Seth Green is also back as Dr. Evil's son Scott. Oh yeah...Mr. Bigglesworth returns too, with a miniature Dr. Evil...
I shall call him...Mini-Me!
So, would say this film is groovy or...evil? (laughs maniacally)
The Cannonball Run
(1981)
A very funny film, laugh-a-minute!
16 August 2001
The Cannonball Run...one of the funniest films of all time! I dare say that this ranks 2nd to Caddyshack as far as funny goes. Featuring one of my favorite (and most funniest) movie characters ever...HIM! A must-see for moviegoers, Burt Reynolds is great, Sammy Davis, Jr. and Dean Martin are hilarious, and Roger Moore is very funny. Rent it at your local video store!
Destroy All Monsters
(1968)
Daikaiju eiga! Daikaiju eiga!
16 August 2001
Daikaiju eiga!
This is a must-see for even remote fans of Japanese kaiju fans. This movie packs 'em all - Godzilla, Rodan, Angilas, Minilla, Spiega, Varan, Baragon, King Ghidorah - and Gorosaurus with Manda! All the big ones are here. I have seen both versions of the film, Japanese and American, and I must say, the Japanese wins! The Japanese includes a better idea of what's happening plus (at the end) an excellent scene showing all the monsters in their natural habitat! See it NOW!!!!!
This is a must-see for even remote fans of Japanese kaiju fans. This movie packs 'em all - Godzilla, Rodan, Angilas, Minilla, Spiega, Varan, Baragon, King Ghidorah - and Gorosaurus with Manda! All the big ones are here. I have seen both versions of the film, Japanese and American, and I must say, the Japanese wins! The Japanese includes a better idea of what's happening plus (at the end) an excellent scene showing all the monsters in their natural habitat! See it NOW!!!!!
Caddyshack
(1980)
The best comedy film ever!
11 August 2001
Here is the funniest film of all time...Caddyshack! A must-see for movie fans and moviegoers, with Chevy Chase as a silly Buddhist-golfer, Rodney Dangerfield (his best) as a has-it-all millionaire, Ted Knight as a snobby club-owner, Michael O'Keefe as a boy making life decisions, Bill Murray as a stupid gopher-killing greenskeeper, and Mr. Gopher as himself. Great music, funny. See it now!
Godzilla Raids Again
(1955)
Godzilla raids again.
11 August 2001
Godzilla raids again in this 1959 classic. The second best Americanized Godzilla film from the original series, as far as I am concerned. A new Godzilla, here referred to as Gigantis, is seen battling an Anguilus (later known as Anguirus and Angilas) on a remote Japanese island. Features some spiffy fight scenes. Overall a nice film. See it.
The best Godzilla
18 July 2001
Ah, here it is...the first and best of the Godzilla movies, Godzilla, King of the Monsters. I haven't yet seen the Japanese version, Gojira, but I have seen the American version, and it ROCKS! A 400-foot dinosaur-like monster rises from the depths of the Pacific after A-bomb testing, and attacks Japan! Raymond Burr is at his best here. This classic is truly the #1 Godzilla film. I never have seen a G-film that can beat it. See it now, a must-see for Sci-Fi classic viewers!
The best horror film ever!
18 July 2001
I just saw American Werewolf, and I must say, it is the best horror film ever! The effects are excellent (by Rick Baker), the music is interesting (by Elmer Bernstein), and the plot is entertaining, to say the least. The best werewolf film, just in front of The Wolf Man (1941). A must-see for horror fans! Blends humor and horror together for a howl of a good film! See it before the full moon!
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