maitlandst Reviews

Matchstick Men (2003)

A most unlikely feel-good comedy

[12 October 2003]

**** of ****

Superbly crafted, good natured oddball film about obsessive compulsive Cage who's developing relationship with his daughter(Lohman, wonderful) begins to conflict with his work as a professional con-man who's currently breaking in new protege Rockwell (who steals every scene he's in). Like most genuinely unique films this has a shaky start... but once it gets going it's terrific entertainment and thoroughly engaging. Cage is nothing short of remarkable, in fact there are no slackers in this inventive and often very funny film that goes in some strange directions but believes in every one and pulls it of with deft credibility. A true original and a real treat!

Bad Boys II (2003)

Grotesque treatment of corpses, destruction of poverty stricken shanty towns, chopped up bodies in boxes, rats having sex and an innocent boy who shows up for a date gets a gun pointed at him as part of a &q

[9 October 2003]

BOMB of ****

Long, loud, mean-spirited, offensive, idiotic, unfocused, unfunny, out-of-control, tasteless, brainless, disgusting, excessive, endless, off-putting, headache-inducing...but above all desperately belated sequel that serves as just another reason why Jerry Bruckheimer should be dragged out into the street and shot in the exact same style as depicted in sociopathic garbage like this!

The most thoroughly unpleasant movie experience I've had for some time.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life (2003)

Second installment of one of the most mind-numbingly boring adventure series ever.

[2 October 2003]

*1/2 of ****

Unintentionally hilarious sequel that establishes it's intelligence level early on by having Jolie punch an animated shark in the face! There's enough excruciating cornball dialogue and superfluous CGI to pad the running time(over 2 hours worth no less!)of a pointless and ludicrous plot involving Croft beating the bad guys to -wait for it-Pandora's Box! Despite everything this still is an improvement on the first film. Although that's hardly an accomplishment given that just like the original this immensely forgettable adventure hokum is stupifyingly un suspenseful!

Quick Change (1990)

"You people can keep this damn city!"

[7/10 · 13 September 2003]

**1/2 of****

Amiable and often hilarious "anti-New York" caper comedy with Murray, Davis and (especially) Quaid in absolute perfect form. In fact they've rarely been better on screen-they work beautifully together and make a great team. The real beauty here is that despite the fact that the film is basically a series of offbeat vignettes, the main as well as supporting characters (Robards, Shaloub) are surprisingly well-drawn and three dimensional, a real feat for a zany comedy like this. Although I can't help but wonder whether the film could have gone further in making the "point A to point B" difficulties a little more stressful and frustrating (al'la "After Hours")? However the fact that "Quick Change" doesn't try too hard is what makes it so engaging and fun. "God I hate this town"-Bill Murray.

New York Stories (1989)

Two out of three ain't bad

[6/10 · 13 September 2003]

**1/2 of****

Three completely different short stories told by three of Hollywood's most influential and profilic directors in the most exciting and mythical city on earth. Seems like a shoe in doesn't it? Well almost. Looking forward as I did to the Woody Allen piece "Oedipus Wrecks" the wait was worth it, but still somewhat unsatisfying. This featurette would've been a welcome change of pace for Woody at the time given that he hadn't made a flat-out silly comedy for a while and he manages to make good use of every moment. He has a great cast,(Kavner, Questral are particular standouts) and a genuinely strange premise to work with and the results are a riot, dare I say one of Woody's best. So what's so unsatisfying? As good as "Oedipus Wrecks" is , it still suffers because it has to follow Coppolla's god awful and charmless "Life Without Zoe." Seriously I had absolutely no clue what the hell was going on in this obnoxious, cutesy-poo clinker. Can anyone help me understand why Coppola thought anyone would like this? Sitting through "Zoe" is so emotionally draining that by the time you get to "Oedipus" you're too annoyed and confused to fully enjoy it. As a result Scorsese's "Life Lessons" comes off the best of the three. Nolte and Arquette are flawless and the intensity and friction between them make for an engaging if not distressingly tense 35 minutes.

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

"I was born ready!"

[7 February 2003]

What at first seems like overblown, heavy-handed kung-fu nonsense at its very worst is in fact a fast-paced, undeniably entertaining piece of old-fashioned adventure with tongue firmly in cheek. Both Kurt Russel and director Carpenter are in peak form and keep the action and subtle laughs coming. Just don't think too much about the innate silliness, in fact don't think at all.

Gremlins (1984)

Its a Wonderful Life meets Batman Returns

[5 February 2003]

**1/2 out of ****

Being someone who was scared witless by this film at the age of six I still think it's amazing that Steven Spielberg and director Joe Dante got away with releasing what I believe to be the most violent, gruesome, mean-spirited(and entertaining)kids movie you're ever likely to see; its beaten only by its nutso sequel THE NEW BATCH. I'd say it was ahead of its time but I was only just born when it was released so I can only imagine what it would be like in a cinema full of littlies and their parents and their subsequent reactions to certain scenes. Take the sequence where the mother is fending off the little mutants by throwing them in a microwave and a blender only to have another one jump on her and start brutally choking her with christmas lights. What about Phoebe Cates' monologue explaining why she hates Christmas... "and that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus." Now THAT'S gutsy film making.

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

It's almost a fizzle from the start.

[19 January 2003]

Wes Anderson's follow up to the delightful and well-regarded RUSHMORE is a rambling disapointment. I can't emphasize the word "rambling" enough. This movie has no focus and is barely held together by some truly off-putting characters. The cast is superb and Gene Hackman hasn't been this good for some time, but this is still an empty, pretentious bore with no story and no point.

Into the Night (1985)

John Landis Cult Classic

[30 October 2002]

This engaging and very offbeat comic thriller is pure John Landis from start to finish. The cameos, the mood, the mystery. It's everything we've come to know and love of Landis and his use of the various L.A. locations is perfect. The mood is probably the element that leaves the biggest impression, I feel exhausted just looking at Goldblum as he tries to make sense of what's going on. As for Pfeiffer, well it's not difficult to see why she would become the star that she is today. Although the movie gets out of control as the atmosphere fluctuates between wacky farce and grotesque violence, the sheer fantasy of it all makes it irrisistible. You never know where Ed and Diana are going to end up or run into next and you never really want this convoluted little night-time adventure to end.

National Lampoon's European Vacation (1985)

(As the Comic Book Guy would say)Worst Vacation Eveeerrr!!!

[15 August 2002]

Stupifyingly unwatchable sequel to Vacation. If you're familiar with the National Lampoon franchise then you wouldn't be expecting brilliance to begin with. But there is something seriously wrong with this movie that goes WAY beyond the usual misfire gags and tasteless humour. Obnoxious performances from the Griswold kids who are enough to turn you off the movie on their own and yes there is a scene where the Stone Hedges collapse like dominos. HA HA. Yes this is definitely comedy of the highest order, especially if a dog falling to its death off the Eiffel tower is supposed to be funny.

Doctor Detroit (1983)

Dan Ackroyd should be ashamed of himself.

[8 August 2002]

The best thing that can be said about Doctor Detroit is that it has a very fun cast that try their hardest to work off each other and make the most of what is an otherwise appallingly unfunny piece of campy schlock. Most of the blame should probably go to director Pressman who doesn't even bother staging a joke throughout the whole movie.

Fletch (1985)

Chevy Chase's best!

[27 September 2001]

I've always considered this movie as one of my all time favourites. Chevy's comic timing is really impressive and this ranks as probably his best performance to date.Not exactly overflowing with classic scenes but you have to really try harder to fully appreciate it. This movie seems to have some sort of cult following in America that I find quite pleasing as I'd never figured this kind of movie would still be recalled so strongly after all these years. Here in Australia FLETCH isn't really popular but is played frequently on tv.

Burglar (1987)

See Jumpin' Jack Flash instead

[2/10 · 14 September 2001]

I'm a huge fan of Whoopi and have seen all of her 80's action/comedy films and while this isn't as bad as Fatal Beauty. This is still pretty appalling. Its problem lies in the very grim,limp script and the character she plays is not all that likable or interesting; nowhere near as endearing as Terry Doolittle from Jumpin' Jack Flash. Last but not least, this just isn't funny, no matter how hard Goldberg tries, this grim comedy falls flat in every possible area. Jumpin' Jack Flash is still the best of her early big screen comedies. See it if you must but take my advice, avoid Fatal Beauty at all cost, it's shocking!

The Money Pit (1986)

one of Tom Hanks' best.

[10/10 · 28 July 2001]

The crtics should have given this movie a break, I mean seriously. I've seen this movie a million times and it's ALWAYS great fun. Tom Hanks really gives it his all to make every line of dialogue and evrey goofy stunt an hilarious one. Ok so the movie is minimal on charcterisation but it's a harmless screwball disaster flick that makes you laugh without trying.

The Telephone (1988)

one word review:WOW!

[21 July 2001]

I've never seen a movie like this before in my life. Whoopi's peformance is nothing short of remarkable if the film itself is nothing short of incoherent. Its hard to really like this movie but its impossible to not get sucked in.

Who's That Girl (1987)

great fun.If you can handle it.

[21 July 2001]

I was afraid to see this movie because of its reputation. But the fact that I'm a huge Madonna fan encouraged me to give it a go. And boy was i surprised! I thought this movie was really, really fun! Its dumb, and eventually gets on your nerves but i personally just couldn't hate this movie no matter how hard i tried. Madonna herself hates this movie and her performance in it, but i thought she was cute, kooky and charismatic. If you can forgive its dumbness you'll love this comedy

Jumpin' Jack Flash (1986)

my favorite Whoopi Goldberg movie.

[8/10 · 21 July 2001]

This is without a doubt THE ULTIMATE WHOOPI GOLDBERG MOVIE. Its funny, its fast paced and has a goofy plot and a fun cast. I hate Burglar and there is only SOOO many times i can see Sister Act before i get sick of it, but i can always come back to this movie. This comedy has every thing!!! NO WHOOPI FAN CAN AFFORD TO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE....

Desperately Seeking Susan (1985)

an 80's classic

[21 July 2001]

God I loooooooove this movie. It has such style and an identity all it own and has a perfect cast featuring great performances. Madonna steals the show(how couldn't she really ?) and Rosanna Arquette, well I couldn't praise her fresh faced charisma enough if i tried. The film is a bit too 80's for its own good but is as engaging as it was 16 years ago. Quirky, funny and original is always a good combo don't you think?