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Jonathan Maxwell Reeves
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Reviews
Turquaze (2010)
Worst Belgian movie ever...
We had to see this movie as a part of our class Dutch because for some reason the writers of the handbook we use seem to find this a great movie. Without giving spoilers I can tell you I was not the only one in class who almost felt asleep during the screening. The story is weak, predictable and slow. The acting is poor, even Charlotte Vandermeersch who's a very talented actress is not convincing in this movie. The Balci brothers should both take acting and directing classes in my opinion before they even think about making another movie. I'am a huge supporter of Belgian movies, and normally I'am almost never negative about them, but Turquaze is really an exception. This is probably the worst movie ever made in Belgium. Even The Pencil Murders from Guy Lee Thys is a better movie and that was a real bad movie. Some people might like this movie, but I certainly didn't.
Piranha 3D (2010)
Just a chicks and tits movie...
How on earth is it possible that great actors like Richard Dreyfuss and Christopher Lloyd have lowered themselves to be part of a movie like this? It's a real mystery to me. The original Piranha from 1978 and directed by Joe Dante is a cult movie in its kind. This remake is just a "chicks and tits movie". You clearly can see that this movie wants to exploit the 3D hype. In the theaters with your 3D glasses on it might be fun to see two naked women doing a water ballet for 5 minutes and all those D-cups floating in front of your eyes might make you drool, but in the 2D version at home on television it all becomes boring after 30 seconds. The only thing that remains is a very bad screenplay. The actors do not play like cardboard playing cards, they actually are cardboard playing cards. The only exception is Christopher Lloyd, who once again plays a kind of Doc Brown character as in Back To The Future, but just like Richard Dreyfuss he barely appears for a few minutes in the movie. They should feed the director of this movie to the piranhas (alive !!!) just as a precaution so he will no longer be able to rape cult movies in the future.
XIII: The Conspiracy (2008)
Very disappointed
***spoiler alert***
As a Belgian I'am a big fan of the original comic books of XIII. I own them all. There're 19 books who tell the complete story of XIII and now a second series has started more focusing on the other characters from the original series like how the Mongoose became the contract-killer as we know him.
I saw an article somewhere that said this mini series would be the story of the events from the first two books in the series originally called 'The Day of The Black Sun' and 'Where the Indian goes'. I just saw the 2 episodes and I think there's maybe 20% left of the original XIII story. How disappointing !!! The events you see are from the first 5 books skipping book 3 and 4 'All the Tears of Hell' (XIII in prison) and 'SPADS' (XIII back in training) for some reason. There're also some parts of the 8th book in the series called 'XIII against I' to create an open ending.
They changed so many things that are important in the complete mystery. Why ? After the 4 first books you get the 5th one called 'Red Alert'. That looks a little bit (with a lot of imagination) like the events in the second part of the movie, but there's never a chemical bomb involved for instance. Chemical bombs is the game of Jack Bauer in 24, not of XIII. Other strange changes are for instance the character of Sally Sheridan. She doesn't exist in the comics. It's Wally's brother William Sheridian that's been shot at the beginning. XIII doesn't come down with a parachute, he washes up on a shore and the events that follow do not happen in a snowy landscape. The General Carrington in the books is a big guy and a heavy cigar smoker. You almost never see him without his cigar. He looks a bit like actor Lee Marvin. Stephen McHattie doesn't look like the Carrington from the books at all. The General is not even NSA in the books, he's a general in the normal military but former commander of SPADS (Special Assault and Destroying Sections) a special unit that trained XIII. Colonel Amos is (probably) NSA, but in the books he's an old man (60 - 65 years old) not the young guy as played by Greg Bryk. The Mongoose is a creepy looking bald guy who doesn't die in the first 5 books this movie is based on. The incidents from XIII's past happened in South America not in Afghanistan. Parts of the clues that will lead to the true identity of XIII will be found in South America not in Afghanistan at all. Where are Felicity Kendall, Betty Barnowsky and the terrible Irina Svetlanova ? Three very important recurring characters in the books. All gone !!!
This movie looks nice if you don't know the books. It's nice entertainment if you like an action movie like there're 12 in a dozen. If you know the books you would be very disappointed too I guess. This could have been done a lot better. They should have made a single episode of each book and should have stayed on the original storyline with a cast that looks at least a bit like the characters in the books. You don't give Batman a green cape or Superman a yellow suit and red hair do you ?
They did the same in the past with Largo Winch (from the same author) and now they're doing it with XIII. They turn one of the best comic book series ever made into an ordinary 2 episode TV-movie. If they would ask me to write the screenplay I would make something great of it...at least better then the two episodes I just saw. It's always been my big dream to write the screenplay for a XIII TV-series and maybe it's time to start writing on it and then go and talk with author Jean Van Hamme. I really was looking forward to see this production, but I'am very disappointed now. I hope they once will make a better series of it that will cover the complete and true XIII mystery as written by the comic book author and not some kind of digest told in 3 hours. The story of XIII is way to complex to tell in just 3 hours.
The Girl Next Door (2004)
Nice and entertaining
I already had this movie for several months in my personal DVD collection and was waiting for a good moment to see it. A movie with Elisha Cuthbert is something you must wait for until you can't hold it anymore. Next to Mila Jovovich probably the most beautiful woman in the world. I was a bit afraid and was expecting just another teen movie to be honest. I was wrong. It was nice and entertaining. This is a movie you must see with your girlfriend or boyfriend. It will tell you about true love between two people and how far someone will go to give proof of that true love. If you watch carefully you will understand the lesson the director and the writer try to tell you. Next to Elisha Cuthbert I was surprised with the performance of Chris Marquette as Eli and Timothy Olyphant as Kelly. Marquette is very funny as the would-be porn director and whenever I saw Olyphant playing a had to think back to Michael Keaton in his earlier movies for some reason. Like I wrote I saw this movie on DVD and it has some great bonus material too. Interesting audio commentary and even a very nice trivia track. The hilarious feature called 'The Eli XXXperience' is a must see on the DVD. The movie has a bit of an open ending so when do we get 'The Girl Next Door 2 : Back In Business' ? What me concerns start writing and shooting because I want more Girl Next Door (on condition Elisha Cuthbert is in it of course)
Kapitein Zeppos (1964)
Old-fashioned but still charming
Kapitein Zeppos was and still is one of the most popular Belgian television series made for the youth. Made in b/w 4 years before I even was born and in a time the Belgian Television (BRT) still had (or wanted to spend) budgets to make good television series for the youth.
When you look back at now it all looks very old-fashioned and the filming & acting is by times very clumsy (no slang language and every dialog is in perfect theater-dutch) but still it is and stays one of the best television series (Only 'De Kat' was better in my opinion) made for the youth although the story is a bit slow by times.
It's a bit strange to see all those actors who are now 60+ (some of them are even dead) in their younger years. Senne Rouffaer (who's also the director) plays Kapitein 'Jan Stephorst' Zeppos in such a great way that every time when I see him I ask myself the question 'Why didn't they made a movie of the Belgian cartoon character Tintin with him in the part of Tintin ???'
Kapitein Zeppos is a must see if you're thirty-something like me just for nostalgic reasons.
Zaman (1983)
The best Belgian movie of the eighties
Zaman is probably one of the best Belgian movies ever made. Or maybe the best Belgian movie of the eighties. It's all about corruption at the Antwerp police force (still a very hot topic in Antwerp today) and the movie sometimes looks a little bit old fashioned but that has is charm too. I saw this movie already about 20 times and every year I have my 'Zaman day' and watch it again with as much pleasure as I saw it the first time in the movie theater.
The story itself is really authentic and every policeman in Antwerp will tell you (off the record) that this movie comes extremely close to reality (in the past and unfortunately still today). No pursuits, shootings but the real thing. If you expect a movie in the style of the 'Cops' series then don't watch Zaman. This is the real stuff, the real life of policemen in Antwerp. Their work, their personal problems,their family life and how all these things become mixed up with each other and end up in a raw and painful drama.
**** SMALL SPOILER ALERT ****
Marc Janssen plays a nice and by times melancholic Zaman. Herbert Flack is great. Flack was in the eighties a rising television and movie actor and has given prove that today after dozens of movies and television appearances we in Belgium also have our Robert De Niro or George Clooney. If this man would live in the USA he probably would belong to the club of 'best payed actors'. The way he plays the part of the young and enthusiastic Frank who still believes that he can change the world is so real that you almost cry at the end. The line where he asks for the real name of Zaman after he has been shot and lies in the hospital (see memorable quotes) has become an almost historical one in Belgian cinema.
**** END OF SMALL SPOILER ALERT ****
One of my favorite other characters is a guy who's nickname is 'De Roei Deur'. (The Red Door) A character clearly based upon Frans Van Reeth alias Frans De Kleerkast (Frans The Wardrobe) an extremely popular Belgian burglar in the 70's with a big mouth but a heart of gold. (They even made of movie of his life. See : Dief!(1998) here at IMDB)
The Red Door however is a bit unique because his trademark and signature at any of the places he visits to steal something is shitting in the left corner of the room. Out of excitement he claims himself. This character is played so naturally and funny by Dirk Luyten that you almost forget it's a dangerous criminal you don't want to meet in a dark alley. I still live in Antwerp today and I know the bars in town where you can find dozens of types like him.
The only bad remark I have about Zaman is that most of the actors (Janssen more then the others) who play policemen speak so nice and clean stage-style Dutch sometimes in this movie. This while the Antwerp police 'In Real Life' is known in the whole of Belgium for their terrible accent and the way they try to speak clean Dutch but fail over the whole line. This make them the inventors of a kind of language I call 'Administrative Slang Language.' and which is very funny to hear. I am missing this a bit in Zaman sometimes to make it 100% authentic.
But I can recommend this movie if you like to see a movie about how police really works (or has to work) in Belgium and about real policemen who are not immortal super-cops who solve a crime in 90 minutes.
9/10
Diamant (1997)
Diamant is a must see, if you like a good thriller.
Diamant was one of the last (maybe even the last) super-projects made with clearance of Mike Verdrengh & Guido De Praetere the so called 'twins' of VTM Belgian's prime commercial TV Network before they where voted out of the board.
It deserves the term super-project because it has everything you like, and would not expect from a Belgian production. Action,shooting,fighting,drama,some funny one-liners and of course some hot and steamy sex scenes too.
Very strong story based upon the book from Belgian's number one crime writer Jef Geeraerts and superb acting by Herbert Flack as the honest policeman Robbe Parain who gets involved in a case of diamond smuggling and takes the wrong decision. A decision from which he thinks it will solve all his problems,but actually it will only be the beginning of his problems when he ends up in the for outsiders so closed diamond business and finds thieves,forgers,contract killers and some real corrupt people on his path.
Flack doesn't play Robbe Parain,he just is IT !!! Also very strong acting by Jan Decleir and Karel Deruwe. For the fans of Ann Ceurvels : yes she goes naked as usual. There's also a black actor who's not listed in the cast here at IMDB and I can't remember his name, but he's so funny specially in a scene where he gets money from his cousin who works at the embassy.
Diamant is a mini series made for tv, but it's also available in an exclusive boxed movie version on VHS. Hard to find in the shops but if you're lucky you might find it. I still hope that one day they will bring out a DVD version with some extras like audio commentary. A kind of homage to the director Jean-Pierre De Decker who died two years ago, and diamant was his last big project.
Diamant is a must see, if you like a good thriller. +- 4 hours of top entertainment like they will probably never make again in Belgium. You will be nailed to your seat from the beginning till the end.
Shades (1999)
This movie is one big 'inside joke' about the Belgian Movie Industry
I liked this movie very much. Erik Van Looy is a good director. Proof is his other movie Ad Fundum. Shades is a very special movie. You must be familar with the (Belgian) movie industry to understand most of the story. In my opinion this movie is a biography of the Belgian director/screenplaywriter Guy Lee Thys and guess what ? He's also one of the 3 screenplaywriters of Shades :-) Coincidence or....???? I had alot of fun with this movie because I recognize alot of facts and urban legends about the Belgian Movie industry in it. If you never been 'an insider' in the Belgian Movie industry you'll find this movie a bit boring maybe altrough there're some great actors in it who play very nice like Mike Verdrengh and Gene Bervoets. Mickey Rourke is okay but I saw better movies of him. It's worth a try, but don't expect an easy movie. It's a special movie and that's why some people call it a bad movie, but I do not agree with that. Not the best Belgian movie ever made, but certainly not the worst movie either. That credit goes to 'De leeuw van Vlaanderen' but that's another story.
De boot naar Spanje (1982)
Gaston goes serious....GREAT !!!!
We all know Gaston Berghmans as a funny guy from his sketches,quickies and of course of the partnership for years he had with Leo Martin. This movie shows another Gaston. A melancholic Gaston who plays a part of Desiré a guy who wants to play Santa Claus every day of the year, and therefore also dresses up as the Holy Man in the middle of summer. Although this is a drama, it has some funny scenes in it too
*** SPOILER ALERT ***
One of the most funny scenes I found the scene where Desiré (Berghmans) is dressed up as Santa Claus and his friend Georges (Martin)is tired of Desiré's Santa Claus game and runs of dressed up as the black servant (Zwarte Piet) followed by Berghmans dressed up as Santa who shouts 'Georges, please wait'. It is just so funny to see a man dressed up as Santa Claus calling his servant with the name 'Georges'. You just have to see it.
*** END SPOILER ALERT ***
This movie was made for television, and is really a movie you should see at least once although it's not available on video (only in private collections as mine i guess) and I wonder if they're going to re-run it again. Be sure to watch the movie till the end because that's the most beautiful scene of the movie shot near the river 'Schelde' in a small village called 'Paal' just across the border with Holland. For me this was nostalgy because when I was a kid my parents had a house there and so I played many times in that village even on the exact place where that last scene was shot.
De komst van Joachim Stiller (1976)
Strange Movie, but a must see !!!!
De komst of Joachim Stiller is based upon the novel of Hubert Lampo. I know the writer personally and it's hard to believe that such a charming person writes such a strange book.
Anyway, I find this movie one of the best Belgian movies ever made. I do have the television version on video (+- 180 mins) and that version is okay. Never watch the cinema version because that only has a running time of aprox. 120 mins. By cutting away 60 (sixty !!!) mins of scenes (never understood why they did this) the story becomes very complex and you will not understand the plot of the movie. So always stay with the FULL version not the shorter Cinema/TV movie version !!!!
This movie is a magic realism movie. A real fine mystery about a journalist named Freek who gets a letter one day. Now everybody gets letters everyday so not worth making a movie of this subject you think now. Strange thing is that the letter was posted more then 20 years before Freek was born. How could someone know where Freek should live more then 20 years later as a grown up ? Then more strange things happen,and one name is always returning : 'Joachim Stiller' Who is he ? What's his mission ? Is he an enemy or a friend ? Freek wants to know who that Joachim Stiller is and starts searching.
I will not tell you what happens and how the movie ends, because you just have to see it. It's an old movie, and no spectacular special FX, but it's a real scary movie in his own way. I saw this movie for the first time at age 9, and I can tell you that I had nightmares of it. Something I never had or have when watching movies.(even not the bloody and scary horror movies.)
You'll have to search in private collections for this movie because I heard (it's a rumour not confirmed) that the last master copy of this movie is lost (stolen/destroyed ???) and not anymore in the archives of the public television Station (VRT, (that time known as BRT) ) wich was co producer and so the chance they'll ever show this great movie on television again is as good as not.
Hannibal (2001)
Comments on the DVD release (Contains possible spoilers !!!)
I saw it in the movie-theatre and since a few days I'am the lucky owner of the DVD and I saw the movie another 2 times already. Very happy with all the extra's on it like some deleted scenes. Some of them are really needed in the final version I find (like the one that explains how Hannibal gets so quick to America after killing Pazzi and a scene in the perfume shop that shows how Hannibal already knows Pazzi is on his tail) Very nice is also the deleted scene that explains how it comes Pazzi has a password for accessing the FBI site. Less good is the alternate scene of the jogging sequence that turns Hannibal into a kind of fetishist and pervert instead of the real cool and calculated serial killer as we know him. The alternate ending (available on disc 2) is rather stupid and I'am very happy that it didn't made it to the final version.
The DVD is really one you must have in your collection. More then 3 hours of extra's (Several making of docu's ,trailers, + 700 production stills) and a superb multiangle extra of the fishmarket scene. 'Just when you tought you've seen all about multi angles on DVD there was Hannibal' I would say. The directors commentary by Scott is great and in detail. This is the first DVD I have where even the directors commentary is subtitled.
Let's hope this movie gets some nominations for the Academy Awards. If it was up to me (but it's not :-) ) I would suggest at least a nomination for Best Actor (Hopkins is yummmiee ! ),Best Director, Best supporting actor (Oldman) Photography,and Best Score. It even deserves some more nominations but these 5 are my personal favorites.