gijoe nut Reviews

Blood Work (2002)

uh, predictable but good nonetheless

[17 August 2002]

I saw the ending coming 5 minutes or so into the movie but I liked it way, because I kept wondering what Eastood's character was gonna connect to the crime set-up next. I saw the movie for free (I wouldn't have paid simply because I'm not a fan of Clint really), but I enjoyed it more than I was expecting to.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

the best movie ever made

[10/10 · 17 August 2002]

wellll, ok, maybe it's NOT the "best movie ever made," but it IS my favorite movie of all time. I've seen it a billion times, I can recite the movie out loud, and I'm still laughing at everything I laughed at the first time I saw it. It's the perfect laugh-fest movie, and definitely the best movie that came out the 1980's. What's NOT to love about "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"?

The Country Bears (2002)

wow, the guys at Disney are on some high quality drugs here...

[4 August 2002]

it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be (c'mon, the trailer is just painful to watch), but man o man, there's some trippy things in this movie, and they actually make it worth watching.

the musical sequence at the diner in the middle of the movie is painful to watch, but I was laughing so hard that it didn't matter; that is PERFECT satire of the entire genre of movie musicals with the talented character breaking out in song randomly and having everyone else in the scene break out in choreographed dance. The song the waitress sung was awful, but the parody was genius.

the cameos by so many of today's artists are priceless, especially the out-of-the-blue appearances of Xibit and Elton John. I'm not sure why any of the reviews I read of the film never mentioned so many famous people wandering in and out of this movie, but I'm glad they didn't because they all cool surprises. (on a side note, why Mr. Walken never showed up in the trailer is beyond me, but his performance here is priceless!)

the prospect of the actor playing Beary's "brother" going from being Stifler's little brother in Pie and Pie 2 to this nicely obnoxious kid who has a bear for a sibling is just so absurd it's funny.

the country music numbers were kick-@$$ enough to make me consider buying the soundtrack...

and the groundskeeper bear was funniest thing in the whole movie to me, he cracked me up all the way through. heck, they can spin him off into his own show if they want, I liked him.

I'm not going to go around recommending this weirdness of a movie to people, but I say give it a try; do NOT form an opinion based on the trailer, because it's not fair to the movie itself. It might not be the world's most intelligent movie, but it was worth watching for sure. (And seriously, the talking bears thing might work for a theme park attraction, but the idea of human-like bears living amongst humans just makes me wonder how much LSD the writers of the screenplay had dipped...)

I give "The Country Bears" a 7 out of 10, it really wasn't bad, just really trippy and weird!

Contact (1997)

the worst movie I have ever seen

[1/10 · 1 August 2002]

I wish I could claim I fell asleep in the theater on this movie, but I'd be lying; I was awake for the whole boring, pointless, pretetious "experience." There was nothing about this movie that I can say was good except the trailer, which looked so cool that I HAD to see this movie ASAP. Saw it opening day and had never before and never since felt so let down by a movie. I'm not sure what in The Big G's name this thing was trying to accomplish, but I get the feeling that it failed miserably. Honestly, I've never hated a movie in my life as much as I hated "Contact." It scares me to think how boring the books must have been to spawn miserable dreck like this movie. If I never see this movie again, I'll die a happy man...

Congo (1995)

it's dumb and it doesn't care that it's dumb

[28 July 2002]

I freakin' LOVE Congo. I think I've seen it about 15 times and I love it simply because it never apologizes or even attempts to apologize for just being a cheap attempt at a thrilling movie. The book had "meaning" to it, but the movie was just irreverent; and excuse to have fun with the concept of "killer gray apes" and "talking" gorillas. Crichton is my favorite author of all time, but when the movie adaptations throw the main premises out the window and just try making ADVENTURE out of them, it doesn't bug me in the least because I usually like said changes. My favorite character in Congo was Tim Curry's Romanian treasure hunter, who did not exist in the book, but did fit the purpose of the story perfectly: Peter was taking Amy home, Karen was looking for her ex-fiancee, Munro was the guide, and the created-for-the-movie Mr. Homolka was there for greedy reasons, something no character in the book had in mind. I loved Congo (I need to buy the DVD), simply because it was made to be a dumb leave-your-brain-at-the-door adventure movie and it NEVER tries to be anything but that. Gotta love a movie that doesn't take itself the least bit seriously...

Road to Perdition (2002)

Overrated movie with great atmosphere

[27 July 2002]

Good acting, great mood and ambience, appropriately depressing color palette... But it's still not as good as the hype and critics have made it out to be. It's a one-time watch, at max, and Paul Newman was wasted as a character I think [he really didn't do much]. I'm sure it'll be nominated for and win boatloads of Oscars, Golden Globes, and Peoples' Choice Awards, but I still don't think it was a great as it's been made out to be (it was good, though, yeah). Oh, and the camparisons to the Godfather are completely uncalled for, "Road to Perdition" should even be in the same top 20 list with "The Godfather," one the greatest movies to ever grace the silver screen! I give "Perdition" and 7 out of 10.

Rat Race (2001)

Can't...stop...laughing!

[17 August 2001]

I really wanted to see the movie even back to June when I saw the first preview, and I heard number of different release dates since. well, the 24th of August was the big day and I was stoked! The previews are laugh-out-loud, but despite my gung-ho to see it, I had that nagging fear that all the funniest parts had been shown on the ads already... no way! Some of the funniest gags aren't even hinted at (think: Barbie museums and Musical Guest Star). Honestly, I laughed the beginning to the end. There were parts at which I was laughing so hard that I couldn't have stopped if I'd wanted to! The sight gags are madcap and over-the-top and some of the characters are absurdly talented. The ending was the most random and unpredictable conclusion I've seen attatched to a flik in a long time, but it fit the movie spirit perfectly. GO SEE IT!!! now I wanna see more of the Zucker brothers' stuff....

Mission to Mars (2000)

UGH!

[31 July 2001]

One of the worst movies I've ever seen. the Trailer looked really neat, but what a piece of crap the Movie turned out to be! The cast was high profile and the plot was cool, but the Writing managed to ruin the entire thing. I have NO idea what Gary Sinise or Don Cheadle were thinking, and Tim Robbins wasted his time acting in this. Jerry O'Connoll has been on a downslide since Scream 2 anyway, but there was still no excuse for him or anyone else to show up in this bit of "entertainment." The ending made a bad movie worse. The M&M gimmick was actually the most "entertaining part of this movie... My advice? Don't even bother with this movie.

The Princess Diaries (2001)

cute movie, amazing young actress

[29 July 2001]

I may be a 21 year old guy, but I loved this movie. I wanted to watch it upon seeing the trailer for it back in June, and I finally did at an advanced screening July 28. It was funny, and had a ton of heart which the laugh-heavy trailer didn't even hint at. It was cute and yeah, predictable, but I didn't care because I liked it. Julie Andrews was superb, but what else would you expect? Hector Elizando's Shaft-looking character (heheh) was subtley funny. and Anne Hathaway... WOW! She's incredible. Talented to be sure, but beautiful would be an understatment. I think I'm in love with her! the other performances though: Larry Miller, Mandy Moore, and Caroline Goodall were just cardboard cut-out characters, and could have been played by anyone. I loved the movie, and I found a new dream girl. GO SEE IT (but don't think too hard 'bout it)!