Luv2Spooge Reviews

The Killer (2023)

so so...

[5/10 · 12 May 2024]

The first chapter was absolutely boring and dragging. The monologue made it drag even more as it keeps talking about meaningless data that you kinda wish he would shut up.

But the rest of the film is alright, nothing fancy or wow factor, just your usual revenge spy killer film. Doesn't really have a lot of actions though, more like mysterious and seeing some smart techniques in puzzle solving.

Overall it is just an average film, good for a one time watch, but forgettable afterward. So if you just want a lazy evening with friends, then it'll get the job done but don't expect any crazy wild excitement.

5/10.

Something in the Water (2024)

yawnnnnnn

[2/10 · 5 May 2024]

Mmm I like the music, really cool. Some good scenery shots. But a story and action that went nowhere. Half the film is just them treading water. The shark attack scenes were very cheap and not very thrilling. Nothing surprising or intelligent, no wow moments. And overall just a snoozefest even for a cheezy b movie.

However i like to point out the accuracy in the portrayal of what happens when you put 5 girls in a tough situation. They all end up arguing and blaming each other, nobody seems to have any clever idea, they don't even know how to do a tourniquet, nobody knows how to fix a hole in a boat, don't even know how to drive a boat... so I thought that was hilarious.

2/10.

Arthur the King (2024)

so so... soooo soso.

[5/10 · 5 May 2024]

There are quite a lot of these "dog" movies out, usually involves a soldier or cop with some post trauma dog. This one is a new twist and is more of a Cinderella story. While I love the subject matter, I thought this film did not really convey the emotions of the film and feel it kinda fell flat.

First, it took so long for them to get to the race. That part could've been trimmed a good 10-15 mins. Then it took a while for them to meet the dog and for the dog to be relevant to the part of the plot. And then for the most part, the dog just follows them around. It lacked any real chemistry between Walberg and the dog and so the ending seems kinda over dramatic as I cannot see how they have any real connection.

Take Hachi or the Disney Movie Togo, for example, those were done exceptionally well. In comparison, this was a so so movie that help pass the time.

5/10.

Monkey Man (2024)

nauseating mess

[1/10 · 30 April 2024]

Not sure how it got such high ratings, there's not a single good thing I can say about this film. From the noisy scenes to the dark and random close ups to the slow pacing or the ridiculous story line... this whole movie was one splitting headache.

First, it took about 40+ mins to reach the first real action scene and it didn't deliver. It was messy, cliche, boring, completely devoid of creativity in the choreography. The story didn't make much sense either and the decision of the characters were unrealistic through out, like victims in a horror flick.

Finally, the style and camera work is just a bunch of random slow downs, then extreme close ups like of someone's eye, someone's hands, someone's mustache, etc... you can't make out what was going on.

This is a easy 1/10.

Sleeping Dogs (2024)

was really good until the final ending

[5/10 · 13 April 2024]

I rarely talking about movie's spoiler in my review, but this one is infuriating because it literally was up to the ending which just ruined it. What's sad is that they could've still made it work, but they just didn't. The plot hole is too big to ignore.

*** SPOILER ***

So it is revealed Roy (Crowe) actually was the killer. You kinda picked it up around mid point if you were paying attention. But here's why it is so infuriating. It makes no sense. If he was the killer, what does any of this has to do with the other 2 suspect in the end? His partner and Laura.

His partner could've simply told him the truth from the start and this would've ended. There was no reason for any of this role in the film.

Laura also had no reason for anything in the film because she did nothing illegal by exposing Roy's wife's infidelity. She was not legally liable for any of it since it was Roy acting out of murderous revenge. So why would she do any of this?

These 2 plot holes could've easily been repair with minor additional details, but writer just got lazy.

5/10.

Shōgun (2024)

Edited. Reduced Rating due to Episode 10

[3/10 · 23 March 2024]

After watching Episode 10, I reduced the rating from 7 to 3. Why? Because the finale is just bad, so bad that it made me feel cheated. You have 9 episodes of build up, multiple scenes of large armies, all this talk about "war war war" and... nothing, not even a small flashback.

When the finale began with a glimpse of an elderly anjin, I thought this would be a good flashback to the battle of Sekigahara. But it didn't capitalize. In fact, there was no reason to even bother with the elderly anjin.

And what is the ultimately let down is that they didn't even follow the book. The show is called Shogun and they didn't bother to show you the ending in which he became shogun or show you what happened to Ishido. These were all in the book.

Either they ran out of budget or for whatever reason, the finale seemed rushed and just overall one of the worst episodes ever and definitely one of the worse finales ever.

-----------------

With such high rating, you can be sure every review out there will tell you all the same positive things about this series that I can tell you. It is filmed crisp and beautifully with the newest technology and a very high budget production. The dialog is smart, deep, often with philosophy as well as wisdom. The actors are top notch and fit the realism and seriousness of the tone.

But what many may have overlooked, especially the western audience, is just how "comic book" and cliche they portrayed ancient Japan. The one scene that completely throw me off the suspension of disbelief came early in episode 1 when a random NPC walked up to the prisoner aijin and asked a few questions. The "leader" of the village then just out of the blue decapitated him in front of the public.

I get they're trying to portray an ancient Japan that was brutal, but that scene was so comical because of how out of touch it was with reality. For a better representation of how ancient Japan was, I recommend Yoji Yamada's famous samurai trilogy - The Twilight Samurai, The Devil's Claw, and Love & Honor. Even "When the Last Sword was Drawn" was more accurate and realistic in their presentation.

The error in Shogun's portrayal comes from the fact the book was written by a westerner. It almost, I would say, demonized Japanese as if they were completely inhumane. This theme would progress into further episodes. Again, perhaps it is just how the westerners view the culture from their lenses.

In Yoji Yamada's trilogy, it demonstrate that despite the culture, despite the code of the samurai, that they were still human, they still feared death and valued family, marriage, etc... In the movie "Hari Kari - Death of a Samurai" it showed how the most proud and arrogant samurai feared death and would hide themselves when their top knot was removed in order to wait for it to grow back than commit seppuku.

For this, I would put Shogun at a 7/10. It is entertaining and it has a lot of great qualities. But for this one shortcoming, it just makes it really hard to take it seriously despite much of the element is actually based on a true story.

Road House (2024)

could've been better

[4/10 · 22 March 2024]

What you see in the trailer is pretty much it. For a movie that is focused on fighting, the only real good fight was the very brief intro when Jake first arrived at the Road House. It was amazingly choreographed and you expect more of it in the film. Sadly, you won't. For the most part, you just see him sitting at the bar while giving pointers to the younger bouncers. Rest of the fight scenes in the film were messy, clumsy, and boring.

The story itself was poorly paced. I think this could've been done in 1 hr and 30 mins. The ending kinda fell apart really quickly as the suspension of disbelief just flew out the door because of how ridiculous and unrealistic it became.

Overall, it was painful to go through the 2 hrs.

4/10.

Damsel (2024)

So so. Not bad, but not great.

[5/10 · 10 March 2024]

Here's the thing about this film, I just don't understand why it was made. The story is as predictable and cliche as it gets, you get most of the plot in the trailer alone and it just does not develop from there.

However, a predictable plot can still work if the aim is action. Similar movie like The Princess with action pack fight scenes, martial arts, etc.. was shear awesome. Yet this film has very limited action scenes.

Most of the film is about the main character trying to escape the cave. So is this a survival film? Not really. I guess the best way to describe it is that it is a fairytale, a fable, even. But if that is the aim, then again the plot must be the strength.

So overall, I don't seem to know what is the point of the film and why it was made. The CGI is fantastic and the movie is filmed extremely beautifully and crisp. It is like a beautiful painting, but you just don't know what the painting is suppose to mean.

5/10.

Drive (I) (2011)

Overrated high school video project

[4/10 · 10 March 2024]

Yes, I read the top reviews and their analytics and they come off more like random guesswork. Either way, even if the deconstruction prove to be true, it doesn't do the audience any favors.

This film is slow, very very slow. It has a 30 min plot stretched to 1 hr and 30 mins. And what is most disappointing is that though the title is called Drive and the film constantly boast of the driver's unmatched driving skills, we barely see any of it in the film. If this was meant to be a metaphorical artsy film, could they not have done it also with some driving action?

If you are expecting something like Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift, you will sorely be disappointed. The film plays on styles of 80s music and camera work. Gosling plays a robot, which is perhaps what got him the role for Blade Runner 2049.

A terrible film and a waste of my time.

4/10.

Out of Darkness (2022)

cool concept, poor execution

[4/10 · 6 March 2024]

There hasn't been many films about prehistoric people, especially the meeting of the Cro-Magnon man and Neanderthals. This film had so much potential in exploring this, but instead it was executed poorly as a "horror" film without any real horror. As others have said, most of the film is too dark to see, a lot of running and hiding, jump scares.

What really disappointed me is the lack of simple research in the topic for such a film. The depiction of the Neanderthals and the first Cro-Magnon into Europe after the ice age were completely scientifically off. This makes people who actually know enough of the subject unable to suspend their disbelief.

I'll give this a 4 for the creativity and concept. However, if you really want to watch a good film on this topic, I suggest the NOVA special from 20 years ago which covers it in detail and filmed it with high quality aesthetics.

4/10.

Secret Zoo (2020)

poor execution

[4/10 · 4 March 2024]

Concept is good, but the execution is poor. It is 2 hours long and extremely boring. The best parts are already spoken for in the trailer. For the most part it is just a lot of talking and when you see the animals, they don't move, there isn't much of a story and definitely no drama.

Overall there is nothing to keep you interested and invested, I only finished it because I was on the computer dong something else. It could've been great if it actually has a real story.

So 4/10 is extremely generous for this film. It is barely a good one time watch and towards the end it is just laughable how people could not figure out these are fake animals.

Nowhere (II) (2023)

Interesting Video Game Concept

[6/10 · 3 March 2024]

I think ever since Groundhog Day with Murray, there has been a new genre of movies that is based on video games. No no, I'm not saying movies like Doom, Resident Evil, etc... that are based on specific game titles, but movies like The Edge of Tomorrow with Tom Cruise where the titular hero revives after death each time like an action video game.

Other movies based on video game concepts would be Extraction and Extraction 2, many have compare them to 1st person shooter games with the camera work done in 1 shot. However, this movie, Nowhere, takes it to a whole new level.

Not many people will get it unless you're old as me where you remember Sierra Online's adventure games. No matter if it is King's Quest, Space Quest, etc... the object of the game is collecting items, utilizing what you have available and solve your situation.

This movie is exactly that as the main character is stuck in a container crate in the middle of nowhere. Her objective is to survive with whatever items she can find in her environment and then utilize those items in creative ways. Of course none of the containers contained food or water, that would be too easy. So she had to use the other items to solve the problem of water and food.

Ultimately in the end, without giving spoiler, she has to find a way to finish the quest by surviving rather than wait for rescue.

Ingenious. I'll give it a 6/10 for creativity and concept. Visually the film is also very well done, with great scenery and CGI shots. My only problem is there were too much talking towards the end, could probably trim a good 10-15 mins off the dialog for a smoother screen time.

Air Force One Down (2024)

Best high school video project ever!

[4/10 · 19 February 2024]

Gotta give credit to the kids who made this film with the budget they had, which was probably equivalent to a summer long work of mowing lawns. I mean with just an iPhone they were able to make a quite a convincing film.

If they had a bit more budget, this might've made the blockbusters. But with what they had, it is quite a decent job. A few pointers for improvement:

• fight scenes are well choreographed but way too slow. It looks like they were playing patty cake.

• might want to add airplane sounds when you are on Airforce One, else it just looks like it is filmed in a building.

• Best actor is definitely the general, give him a bonus.

• Plot needs work. Why did the bad guys kill all the secret service on sight except for those which fit the plot? Why did they keep the main character alive all this time for?

Anyways, good job. You did the best with what you've got.

4/10.

Thirteen Lives (2022)

It's good one time watch

[6/10 · 19 February 2024]

This film is a good one time watch if you want to know the details of what happened in this incident. Other than that, it really doesn't do much than being half a documentary. The real positive side is the scenery shot of the beauty of Thailand. The rice patties with the sun and the mountain the back is shear amazing work by Ron. And even the rain, the monsoon was done extremely well.

The rest of the film kinda dragged. I mean, there are only so much you can take watching them dive underwater before all those scenes seem repetitious. Emotionally it also didn't really drive hard as the focus seems to be more on the technobabble of the divers.

So not really much of artistry, more like a documentary. Can be edited to be under 2 hours in my opinion.

6/10.

Land of Bad (2024)

Not sure how it got such high reviews

[5/10 · 18 February 2024]

Could've been awesome. Could've been easily a 9 or a 10. The cinematography is amazing. The action is superb. So what's the problem. Just 2. But they're big.

First of all, action films of such genre should never be more than 1 and a half hour and this film is the exact example of why. It took 30 mins for anything to happen and that is just way too long for an action film. Then through most of the film, it looked like it was edited by an amateur doing his high school project. The story pace is ridiculous, fast in some areas, then abrupt slow down to the point of shear agitation.

And what drives this agitation? The dialog. It looks like it was written by a 4th grader. Film would've run much more smoothly if nobody talked. Everything that comes out of their mouths are cliche, immature, and most importantly, does nothing to drive the plot.

This is such a disappointment because had this film been edited properly down to 1 hr and 30 mins and with much smarter and "realistic" dialog, it could've been a great film.

5/10.

Deepwater Horizon (2016)

Let me tell you what is wrong with this film

[5/10 · 17 February 2024]

For a 7, this film definitely is not. Here is why. It is a disaster film but it took 52 mins to reach the actual disaster. So what is the audience suppose to do for 52 mins? Nothing, fall asleep watching the boring dialogs which does absolutely nothing to move the plot. What is in this 52 mins? A lot of drama, a lot of talking to his wife, and a lot of "technobable" on why the rig failed. Nobody cares because majority of the audience are not experts on oil drilling to know or care how it failed.

The film ends at 1 hr 36 mins before it hits the end credit. It means the actual part of the story is only 44 minutes. That is less than 50% of the overall film. For a disaster film, this is poor editing, poor scripting, and very bad timing. If we want to watch a documentary, we could find one that explains the intricate details of what happened during this BP disaster. However, this is a movie, you need to entertain. It doesn't mean you have to make up elements or make it over dramatic, but at least you don't bore your audience with details that do not drive the plot.

So it is good for 44 mins out of 136. That's a good 46% or 4.6/10. I'll up it to a 5 since you do need some element of background details and etc...

5/10 is a fair score.

One Ranger (2023)

First 15 mins was awesome

[2/10 · 14 February 2024]

Kinda wish they did the whole film just about a Texas Ranger in a modern western. That whole opening sequence was amazing and it really got me hooked. Then thing start to fall apart once he went to London. By that point, the conversations were terrible, a lot of unnecessary cussing and sex scenes, and basically the action fell flat.

Overall, a very disappointing movie and I just don't care for it after the opening sequence. A lot of talking, walking around, a lot of f-bombs, and I have no idea what was really happening because I just don't care by this point.

2 out of 10 for because of the first 1st 15 mins, else this is an easy 1.

Deadtime Stories (1986)

A very different kind of anthology

[5/10 · 10 February 2024]

This anthology is extremely weird. There's definitely a hint of comedy in it, but I absolutely love the creativity. The framework story is what drives this home. The story teller is a man babysitting his nephew and wants to be left alone to watch tv. So he tells him these bedtime stories with a very sarcastic tone, reminiscing of Calvin's dad in Calvin & Hobbes. This fit into the narrative why these classic tales are retold with a modern revision.

I like the first and 2nd story but the 3rd one was a bit weird and I felt it was really a bit off the standard. The comedic humor was a bit too slap-stick for my taste and it just kinda ruined the story. But other than that this is a decent 1 time watch.

5/10.

The Theatre Bizarre (2011)

Boring, cheap thrills.

[2/10 · 10 February 2024]

I have to admit the 2nd story, "I love you" is really good. But that would be about it. The first story was just disgusting and bizzare. The 3rd story is the worst, which made no point. Then from there it just went weird with the "accident" and subsequent story which made no sense at all. They were actually slow, boring, and made me want to switch off my mind.

I can only imagine the high ratings from other reviews are due to the obvious sexploitation, which is riddled through the whole film with unnecessary sex and nude scenes.

Horror is not found in gore and disgusting scenes. They're found in irony and creativity.

Ghost Stories (2020)

Excellent start but a rough finish.

[5/10 · 10 February 2024]

I'm going to evaluate each story individually and then give an averaged score since the story seem to differ quite dramatically.

1st story: I thought this story was done exceptionally well. I think many of the negative comments come from people who want jump scares or your typical cliche gorefest. True I wouldn't really consider it a horror story, but this movie is "Ghost Stories" and not a horror. As a ghost story it has all the elements and the story keeps you engaging 'til the end where it all comes together. It is on par with many ghost stories that I love to tell kids. It is also deeply moving if you really understand the subject matter.

Easily 10/10

2nd story: This story was a complete miss for me. First, again this is "ghost stories" yet there are no ghosts in this one. From the start with the black and white, I knew this is going to be some artsy bs. And sadly, I was correct. The plot makes no sense, the story makes no sense. In the end, you get nothing out of it except many questions.

1/10

3rd Story: I'm not entirely sure what is all the hoopla about this story. Again, I think a lot of the reviewers are simply looking for cheap jump scares. This story is not creative at all and I was quite bored with it. Again, this is a movie about ghost stories, not monsters. All this story is, is just a rehash and regurgitation of werewolves with zombies with vampires and then you find out the whole thing is just a political metaphor about big cities and small towns.

3/10

4th Story: This story was very promising at first. Like the first story it is indeed a ghost story. However, it seemed like the writer had no where to go towards the end and left it very flat and uninspiring. I was hoping for something more creative, perhaps unexpected or shocking, but inevitably it is cliche and made me feel like I wasted my time.

4/10

======

So the overall score is (10+1+3+4)/4 = 4.5, which is stop on with the average score here on IMDB.

Overall, the first story is the only good one, very on par with what a ghost story is suppose to be. It isn't suppose to be gore or horror, as more of a intrigue and mystery, with an ending that leaves you feeling chilly and thinking back on what did you miss? I rewinded the 1st story so many times after finishing it to see what clues I missed. The final revelation is also extremely scary, when you realize the revelation of what the nurse actually went through.

The 2nd and 3rd story should be deleted as they are not ghost stories. When writers try too hard to be artsy or pushing a political narrative, they end up failing to entertain the audience. The last story started out great, but ultimately it had no direction and went absolutely no where. It also left more questions than answers. After watching it, it doesn't leave the audience pondering and going back to previous scenes to see what they missed. Overall, it was unimaginative and uncreative.

As for the camera work and quality of film, I thought the last story was filmed beautifully, especially the wedding scene. The 2nd one was in black and white, which was unnecessary and made it look dull. The 1st and 3rd story were both too dark to see at times.

So overall a 4.5/10, which makes it hard to score since we cannot input a 4.5. I'll up it to a 5/10 in this case because I enjoyed the 1st story so much. It is one I definitely will tell my children.

The Black Demon (2023)

Definitely Better Than Meg 2.

[4/10 · 6 February 2024]

Here's a very objective and direct review. It is Paramount Pictures, so you can expect some level of quality in the film making. It means, decent special effects, crisp nice camera filming, high quality shots. The music is very thematic and fits the narrative. The actors are somewhat known, old faces except for the kids.

Story? There is no story. It is so cliche you already know the story. And that itself is one of the weakness. The 2nd thing is, being a thriller horror genre of the shark level? It needs more body count.

That being said, there are some B shark movies with amateur actors and crews that did a better job because they know the formula. They know what the audience wants. They want annoying young adults, a lot of bad decisions, a lot of gore, and a lot of brutal deaths. That's what makes it a good thriller.

So this is the area where this film fails. It is not a "B" movie by the quality of the filmatography, yet it is literally 1 hour and a half of pure boredom because nothing happens. It is not a "shark" movie really. It is a "Family Drama" movie with a shark in it. And that's basically what you get if you put your expectations in the right place.

I'm not getting why the 1s and 2s, because those seems to be out of strong emotion. This film stirs "no" emotion in me. It is a bit bland and boring in that regard, but it really doesn't make me irritated or entertained. It is something you can enjoy and watch with friends for a 1 time viewing. But you'll forget it 5 mins after it is done.

But honestly, the simplicity of the story and the overall production? It is by far way better than Meg 2, which did actually irritate me and make me really annoyed.

4/10 a good one time watch to kill some time.

The Dive (2023)

Excellent high school video project

[3/10 · 6 February 2024]

Congratulations to the 2 teens who wrote and filmed this movie. I think my own high school video project was just as good. But I didn't have iPhones back then, so very impressed they filmed this whole thing on iPhone.

In a nutshell, it is a cheap version of 47 Meters down. Since 47 Meters down is a cheap B movie, so you can imagine how cheap this is. I mean, the filmatography is not bad. The scenes were crisp, clean, and well shot. But story... what story?

Anyways, good start, hope their next film will be something bigger, with more development. An actual story. And more than 2 people with an iPhone.

3/10.

I.S.S. (2023)

About 2 mins worth watching.

[1/10 · 6 February 2024]

The scene of the nuclear war and the fallout is cool. Collectively there are about 2 mins worth of it sprinkled through the film. The rest is just meaningless and pointless BORING dribbling. Boring being the keyword, combined with the really sleepy music.

I don't know who greenlights these movies, but this is beyond bad. It doesn't even keep me awake as I work on my computer and needed a background noise. I mean, I was literally hoping for a gut busting alien to show up and chow down on these astronauts because I was that bored and just waiting for something to happen.

Whatever theme they were driving at, it was a complete fail. This is not worth your time.

1/10.

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

Great visual but can't get past the cultural appropriation

[3/10 · 1 February 2024]

It started out slow, but then it became somewhat interesting, especially the bar scene. It was reminiscent of Star Wars cantina scene. Yet when they get to the next planet, already the tiresome cliche and lack of creativity began to surface.

Why must space aliens who can tame wildlife look and sound exactly like a native American? And then the next scene, why must the Asian alien wear a Korean traditional hat and use katanas? I mean, do these people have any original creativity or they just copy what they see in the world and stereotype?

And as the setting is cliche, so is the plot. Nothing was surprising, everything was predictable. And when everything is predictable, then nothing is entertaining.

Excellent visuals, I especially like the slow down effects, a bit of Matrix going on. However, just can't get past the cringe worthy stereotypes and lack of creativity.

3/10.

Becky (II) (2020)

unbelievably bad

[3/10 · 1 February 2024]

I watched the sequel, "The Wrath of Becky," first and I thought it was mildly entertaining. I gave it an average score and summed it up as a one time watch. Then I decided to watch this and at first I was impressed. The more serious tone, the acting, and a much more interesting plot, I thought it was going to be a superior film. Boy... was I wrong.

Everything starts to fall apart about mid point when the suspension of disbelief just went out the window. What separates this from Home Alone is that the thing Becky is doing is completely unbelievable and her character is also a mess. You're going to have me believe a 250 lb muscle man punches a little girl, she could still get up? I don't think so.

And Becky's character just falls apart to be unbelievably unlikeable. She's not just a psychopath, but actually comes off more as a spoiled uncontrollable child like ones we see on Dr. Phil. She was so annoying, I was cheering for the bad guys.

Then the final fight scene, completely in the dark and you cannot see anything. Overall, the film is so unbelievable that I actually thought the parodic shift in the sequel was an improvement. Something this utterly mindless and lame should be a parody, not an actual film with a serious plot or tone.

Anyways, terrible film with no real substance. 3/10 for the interesting beginning and set up.