This movie was SOOOOO BAD that it required the extra "o's". A woman has ptsd from the death of her husband and does the usual "I'm going to go someplace isolated for no good reason". And house sits for a creepy owner played by Malcolm McDowell (we never see him, only hear him in a couple phone calls and even his voice acting is awful). Apparently something that is NEVER explained is doing some sort of haunting type thing, and shows things through the camera of her phone at random times. Now enters the random stranger who we don't know if we should trust or not. They tried to make it seem like he had autism I think. The acting was TERRIBLE. I watched it in 3 separate chunks because I couldn't make it through in one sitting that is how bad it was.
Reviews
20 Reviews
The Menu
(2022)
Too ambitious for runtime
16 January 2023
I'm really on the fence with this movie.
The idea is there, it is definitely a satire, however-it seemed like this movie was dragged out in an unsatisfying way just to hit the mark for a feature film. It was entertaining, but I am glad that I streamed it instead of wasting money at the theater for it. It had a ton of great ideas, plots/subplots-but it dragged out, giving us a million questions about random things in the film that had zero importance to the movie. It was distracting, but in an annoying and random way.
This could ave actually been great as a shorter film, but it felt like they fleshed it out for length in a boring way
. I absolutely loved SO many different things in this movie, such as the scary tension and feelings of uncertainty/dread/ confusion that the actors, and we as an audience are feeling - however this movie lacked a cohesiveness. I cared about 50% of the characters, but the rest (such as the the three frat type boys) made the movie lose focus from the central issue at work.
The sub plots of the diner's backgrounds really just didn't work for me in the end. There was a ton of griping and moaning about the situation, but no type of action, or even trying to work out a plan to escape legitimately.
Maybe that is part of the satire too? I don't know, but I found it boring and annoying.
The best, most vulnerable, and raw acting came at the very end with Ralph fienns and Anna Taylor. That was the point where I actually cared about the actors. It was an impressive display of acting, and writing. I wish the rest of the film made up for it.
The idea is there, it is definitely a satire, however-it seemed like this movie was dragged out in an unsatisfying way just to hit the mark for a feature film. It was entertaining, but I am glad that I streamed it instead of wasting money at the theater for it. It had a ton of great ideas, plots/subplots-but it dragged out, giving us a million questions about random things in the film that had zero importance to the movie. It was distracting, but in an annoying and random way.
This could ave actually been great as a shorter film, but it felt like they fleshed it out for length in a boring way
. I absolutely loved SO many different things in this movie, such as the scary tension and feelings of uncertainty/dread/ confusion that the actors, and we as an audience are feeling - however this movie lacked a cohesiveness. I cared about 50% of the characters, but the rest (such as the the three frat type boys) made the movie lose focus from the central issue at work.
The sub plots of the diner's backgrounds really just didn't work for me in the end. There was a ton of griping and moaning about the situation, but no type of action, or even trying to work out a plan to escape legitimately.
Maybe that is part of the satire too? I don't know, but I found it boring and annoying.
The best, most vulnerable, and raw acting came at the very end with Ralph fienns and Anna Taylor. That was the point where I actually cared about the actors. It was an impressive display of acting, and writing. I wish the rest of the film made up for it.
The 3rd Guest
(2023)
Actual garbage hates this garbage
10 January 2023
You know when there is a car accident on the road that you don't want to look at, but can't help it? This is the train wreck that you may peek at, but wish you didn't.
Absolutely the WORST movie I have seen in years.
After just 5 minutes, it seems that the movie throws its hands in the air and says "I have no clue".
The "script", (was there one really though?) was written AND directed by the same person (Sean Patrick cannon). It was erratic and confusing, as though he was spurting out a bunch of random ideas from his head, but had ZERO way, of liking them together in a cohesive way. Extremely obvious there was no script editor, and if there was-I hope they have another job to fall back on. THAT is how bad it was.
The movie is described as being a couple of ghost hunters who go to a site after the death of her daughter, only to discover that she starts to see her daughter. That is where the writers mission statement begins and ends. There was some very fractured and unfinished/unrefined things about a cult that we were given basically zero information on, leaving more questions than answers - but not in an entertaining intentional and plot driven way. It was "I really don't understand what is happening right now, or why".
Literally most of the movie were people not just screaming at each other, but verbally assaulting one another. It was very cringe.
The "acting" is MORE than just abysmal-especially the lead "actress" and the bartender. WAY too over the top and fake, it reminded me of kids in an elementary school play. But worse. Much worse. Sooo much worse. I may be wrong, but have a hunch that these people are family or friends of people who were involved in this project. I mean it when I say that while I was watching, I was actually embarrassed FOR these actors, that is how cringe worthy they were.
The ONLY possible redeemable thing this movie MAY have going for it is that it could be worthy of Rifftrax (Mystery Science Theater)
Absolutely the WORST movie I have seen in years.
After just 5 minutes, it seems that the movie throws its hands in the air and says "I have no clue".
The "script", (was there one really though?) was written AND directed by the same person (Sean Patrick cannon). It was erratic and confusing, as though he was spurting out a bunch of random ideas from his head, but had ZERO way, of liking them together in a cohesive way. Extremely obvious there was no script editor, and if there was-I hope they have another job to fall back on. THAT is how bad it was.
The movie is described as being a couple of ghost hunters who go to a site after the death of her daughter, only to discover that she starts to see her daughter. That is where the writers mission statement begins and ends. There was some very fractured and unfinished/unrefined things about a cult that we were given basically zero information on, leaving more questions than answers - but not in an entertaining intentional and plot driven way. It was "I really don't understand what is happening right now, or why".
Literally most of the movie were people not just screaming at each other, but verbally assaulting one another. It was very cringe.
The "acting" is MORE than just abysmal-especially the lead "actress" and the bartender. WAY too over the top and fake, it reminded me of kids in an elementary school play. But worse. Much worse. Sooo much worse. I may be wrong, but have a hunch that these people are family or friends of people who were involved in this project. I mean it when I say that while I was watching, I was actually embarrassed FOR these actors, that is how cringe worthy they were.
The ONLY possible redeemable thing this movie MAY have going for it is that it could be worthy of Rifftrax (Mystery Science Theater)
The Visitor
(2022)
Predictable but entertaining
8 October 2022
This movie centers around a husband and wife who move to her childhood home from London - where the husband is from. He sees a painting in the attic that looks like him, among other paintings throughout the town. He becomes obsessed with their origin.
All in all this wasn't a bad film, nor a particularly good one. It was very very predictable-I basically knew exactly what was happening and what was going to happen in the first 20 minutes, yet it still held my interest throughout. Slow burn but I didn't get bored.
Part psychological part supernatural horror. Sprinkling of rosemary's baby, get out, hereditary It's a movie I'd only watch once, but still glad I did.
All in all this wasn't a bad film, nor a particularly good one. It was very very predictable-I basically knew exactly what was happening and what was going to happen in the first 20 minutes, yet it still held my interest throughout. Slow burn but I didn't get bored.
Part psychological part supernatural horror. Sprinkling of rosemary's baby, get out, hereditary It's a movie I'd only watch once, but still glad I did.
Raven's Hollow
(2022)
An honest review
29 September 2022
Atrocious acting. MOSTLY by Wiliam Moseley. He was so awful that I googled his name to see if he ever had previous acting jobs. Imagine my surprise to see that he was in the Narnia movies -in which I found him completely irritating in as well! Lol.
This could have been good as a shorter film. I sometimes like a slow burn, and love atmospheric and moody type movies, HOWEVER, there was no substance to this that couldn't be completed in 45 mins. It felt like the writers tried to flesh it out for feature length. This type of thing can greatly harm a project that could have really been fantastic.
As a huge fan of Poe, and horror movies-I really wanted to like this movie-but it failed in my eyes. I didn't care about any of the characters, and could not STAND Wiliam Moseley in this. His acting was on par with a poorly done student film.
Like I said, this had potential to be great, but it felt like the creators got in over their heads. Bummer.
This could have been good as a shorter film. I sometimes like a slow burn, and love atmospheric and moody type movies, HOWEVER, there was no substance to this that couldn't be completed in 45 mins. It felt like the writers tried to flesh it out for feature length. This type of thing can greatly harm a project that could have really been fantastic.
As a huge fan of Poe, and horror movies-I really wanted to like this movie-but it failed in my eyes. I didn't care about any of the characters, and could not STAND Wiliam Moseley in this. His acting was on par with a poorly done student film.
Like I said, this had potential to be great, but it felt like the creators got in over their heads. Bummer.
The Harbinger
(I) (2022)
A Rifftrax worthy dumpster fire
6 September 2022
If there is anything good to say about this movie is that it is worthy for the people at Rifftrax.
The trailer looked great, but that's where it ends. The acting is ABYSMAL-especially the wife/mother. I tuned out so badly and quickly that I don't even remember most character names
The ONLY positive I can give is for the girl who played Rosalie (the daughter). Even though she is mostly silent-she has a super scary and threatening presence about her that I find believable.
Everything else (acting, script, length of film) is a joke.
This could have been great short film. What a waste of opportunity.
The trailer looked great, but that's where it ends. The acting is ABYSMAL-especially the wife/mother. I tuned out so badly and quickly that I don't even remember most character names
The ONLY positive I can give is for the girl who played Rosalie (the daughter). Even though she is mostly silent-she has a super scary and threatening presence about her that I find believable.
Everything else (acting, script, length of film) is a joke.
This could have been great short film. What a waste of opportunity.
Reno 911!: The Hunt for QAnon
(2021 TV Movie)
Huge fan of the show...but
6 January 2022
I feel awful writing a negative review for this show, BUT it was a wasted 1.5 hours of my life.
Poorly written, poorly produced. And WAY too long for it to be funny.
This whole film could have been condensed into one awesome 22 minute episode.
I LOVE Reno911, but this was garbage...
HOWEVER-the cast was amazing as ALWAYS. I love them all, and they did the best with what they were given. (I could tell that niecy Nash wasn't there all the time though, and that they needlessly put a double in to film her from the back-without showing her face. WAY too obvious.
I really wanted to like this, but it was awful.
Poorly written, poorly produced. And WAY too long for it to be funny.
This whole film could have been condensed into one awesome 22 minute episode.
I LOVE Reno911, but this was garbage...
HOWEVER-the cast was amazing as ALWAYS. I love them all, and they did the best with what they were given. (I could tell that niecy Nash wasn't there all the time though, and that they needlessly put a double in to film her from the back-without showing her face. WAY too obvious.
I really wanted to like this, but it was awful.
I LOVE our actors, but their talent was WASTED this season.
17 September 2021
AHS is my favorite series.
Lily Rabe has been INCREDIBLE!!!
I have adored Frances Conroy-as per usual!
I love everything that Sarah Paulson does BUT- I have been EXTREMELY disappointed in this season. It has felt more tedious than memorable. I find myself watching it just because I love/am dedicated to AHS and hope that the episodes will get better.
With the exception of the daughter Alma, I thought all of the actors were incredible.
For some reason though-this season did not sit well with me. I would have thought that they could do better-given the amount of time that has been had due to delays because of the pandemic. The writing has been awful. They could have easily fit this entire half season into a 90 minute movie, instead of dragging it out.
I feel that the material and writing of this season has been wasted on this incredible cast who have countless times breathed life, energy, and created this amazing series.
With the exception of their Hulu "American Horror Stories" (which I found mostly awful) I have never been disappointed with Murphy and Falchuk-and I NEVER thought that I would ever leave a bad review, however this season is not great.
Once again though,the actors (except for Alma) were nothing less than amazing-I just wish that they were given something better this season.
Lily Rabe has been INCREDIBLE!!!
I have adored Frances Conroy-as per usual!
I love everything that Sarah Paulson does BUT- I have been EXTREMELY disappointed in this season. It has felt more tedious than memorable. I find myself watching it just because I love/am dedicated to AHS and hope that the episodes will get better.
With the exception of the daughter Alma, I thought all of the actors were incredible.
For some reason though-this season did not sit well with me. I would have thought that they could do better-given the amount of time that has been had due to delays because of the pandemic. The writing has been awful. They could have easily fit this entire half season into a 90 minute movie, instead of dragging it out.
I feel that the material and writing of this season has been wasted on this incredible cast who have countless times breathed life, energy, and created this amazing series.
With the exception of their Hulu "American Horror Stories" (which I found mostly awful) I have never been disappointed with Murphy and Falchuk-and I NEVER thought that I would ever leave a bad review, however this season is not great.
Once again though,the actors (except for Alma) were nothing less than amazing-I just wish that they were given something better this season.
The Haunting of Grady Farm
(2019)
Short but sweet
20 March 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Ok, I actually really enjoyed this movie. Nothing new here in regards to the found footage horror genre, but it was to the point, without unnecessary crap added in order to make it a 90 minute movie.
What I liked is how simple it was: local legend, people filming for a show they have, horror ensues. No long, drawn out emotional scenes of crying and talking to the camera. The actors were great (except for charlie). I was super disappointed that he didn't die-he was so freaking annoying, but everyone else felt really natural and acted appropriately-nothing over or under done. The effects were simple and clean-which was really effective. I found myself rewinding a couple of times because I missed something here or there-some of the bits were that subtle.
All in all, it was a fun way to spend an hour!
What I liked is how simple it was: local legend, people filming for a show they have, horror ensues. No long, drawn out emotional scenes of crying and talking to the camera. The actors were great (except for charlie). I was super disappointed that he didn't die-he was so freaking annoying, but everyone else felt really natural and acted appropriately-nothing over or under done. The effects were simple and clean-which was really effective. I found myself rewinding a couple of times because I missed something here or there-some of the bits were that subtle.
All in all, it was a fun way to spend an hour!
8ight After
(2020)
Wish I could give a zero
20 March 2021
I would give this a zero if I could. Bad acting, both people are insanely annoying-whiny as heck.
Anticlimactic, boring, with no plot twist or real direction.
I am embarrassed for these people. I love independent film makers, but these people need to find some other hobby, because this isn't working out.
1.5 hours of my life wasted-thank god it was free on prime
Let's Not Meet in the Woods
(2020)
Disaster in EVERY way
20 March 2021
I am a big fan of indie movies, and I applaud the effort, but with THAT being said, if you are serious about making movies, and putting them out there, then you shouldn't be adverse to criticism/notes:
The script was AWFUL. Nothing about it worked. The stuff about "the police said to delete those messages"...seriously? No cop would say that. Nothing made a single bit of sense -the "cops are watching outside" they said to reassure themselves and their viewers after receiving a scary box, yet they don't take any new evidence to the cops because they don't want to "bother them". Really?.....
Soooo now they are going to someone's cabin who only has a landline with no cell reception, and I guess they don't think "hmmm,someone has been following me around and leaving creepy messages, I guess they won't follow me up here." So they go up, wander around like morons (I love where they find a pristine looking music box and say -it's been here for years" and don't really give 2 thoughts about the blood that is cleanly inside one of the drawers.
Then some random (cult members maybe?) show up at some point
DON'T USE YOUR FAMILY/FRIENDS as actors!!!!! Unless they can actually act). I wasn't sure if I was watching a mockumentory for awhile (about an hour in), it is SO freaking bad.
If you are going to put in the effort to make a movie and to put it out there, (with hopes of people noticing you in a POSITIVE way) then get people who can actually act.
There are good actors out there who would work for free!!
As a viewer, I want to root FOR the people I am watching, instead of hoping that they will ALL be killed. I'm not even entirely sure what the "twist" was supposed to really be. A cult, demon, what?..... 1.5 hours of nonsense. The only reason I watched to the very end was to because I already invested so much #$*&@&#$ time into it, I was hoping there would be a good ending.
The "Huram" demon guy made me LOL sooooo hard just from his voice!!!!
The demon makeup was the ONLY good thing in this (which was probably just a mask under dark light) for 20 seconds.
Awful awful awful writing/script. Not even rifftrax worthy.
The script was AWFUL. Nothing about it worked. The stuff about "the police said to delete those messages"...seriously? No cop would say that. Nothing made a single bit of sense -the "cops are watching outside" they said to reassure themselves and their viewers after receiving a scary box, yet they don't take any new evidence to the cops because they don't want to "bother them". Really?.....
Soooo now they are going to someone's cabin who only has a landline with no cell reception, and I guess they don't think "hmmm,someone has been following me around and leaving creepy messages, I guess they won't follow me up here." So they go up, wander around like morons (I love where they find a pristine looking music box and say -it's been here for years" and don't really give 2 thoughts about the blood that is cleanly inside one of the drawers.
Then some random (cult members maybe?) show up at some point
DON'T USE YOUR FAMILY/FRIENDS as actors!!!!! Unless they can actually act). I wasn't sure if I was watching a mockumentory for awhile (about an hour in), it is SO freaking bad.
If you are going to put in the effort to make a movie and to put it out there, (with hopes of people noticing you in a POSITIVE way) then get people who can actually act.
There are good actors out there who would work for free!!
As a viewer, I want to root FOR the people I am watching, instead of hoping that they will ALL be killed. I'm not even entirely sure what the "twist" was supposed to really be. A cult, demon, what?..... 1.5 hours of nonsense. The only reason I watched to the very end was to because I already invested so much #$*&@&#$ time into it, I was hoping there would be a good ending.
The "Huram" demon guy made me LOL sooooo hard just from his voice!!!!
The demon makeup was the ONLY good thing in this (which was probably just a mask under dark light) for 20 seconds.
Awful awful awful writing/script. Not even rifftrax worthy.
The House in Sherwood
(2020)
Abysmal "acting"
20 March 2021
From the moment the first words were spoken, I knew I was in trouble. Where did they find these "actors"???? Probably related to the film makers-the acting (if you called it that) is SO ATROCIOUS, that I was wondering if I was watching a mockumentary!! I hope they have day jobs, because they need to keep them!
Good for a laugh, but not much else!!
Zoom.Mov
(2020)
Soooo bad it's HILARIOUS!
20 March 2021
Warning: Spoilers
*small spoilers*
I started cracking up right out of the gate, -not even 2 minutes in and I discovered what I was getting myself into . I wouldn't even call it a B movie - it's more like a bunch of people got together to mash up some after school social commentary special. The "acting" ( if you could call it that), was ATROCIOUS by all, and the script (if there was one) was even worse. I found myself face palming and groaning throughout The whole movie.
The only reason I kept it on is because it was so laughable.
I am embarrassed for everyone involved with this project!!
The House
(2019)
Uggg
20 March 2021
I would give a zero if I could. Don't know why that review said it was "fast paced". It was sooooo slow. 90% of the movie was the guy slowly walking around the house with a flashlight looking scared. Every now and then a ghost or demon made an brief appearance.
Absolute and total waste of time. I don't understand how this got made.
The Vigil
(2019)
Wow
20 March 2021
Loved this movie. It wasn't something that I expected myself to enjoy as much as I did.
It actually made me look up the what a shomer is, and different things about Orthodox Judaism-super interesting. Really well done -great acting, lovely atmospheric movie steeped in traditions and and our own fears.
Definitely worth it
Garbage
20 March 2021
Horrific acting. This movie actually seems to steal from other movies such as the Blair Witch (standing in the corner in a basement), the Ring (cursed video tape), Hell House LLC (creepy piano tune), Sinister (video tape again). I have seen my fair share of derivative horror movies, with things that have been done before, but still have some sense of individuality which makes it worth a watch. This trash, however, was not. Why a sequel when the first was so bad?!
I hate plagiarism-even more so when it is blatant and poorly attempted.
Son
(I) (2021)
Worth it
17 March 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I am pretty critical when it comes to horror films, however this is worth a watch. It can be predictable and derivative, however I did enjoy it. The acting was actually pretty good, and I did find myself "rooting for" the characters.
If it wasn't for the predictability, and how it borrowed from movies such as "let the right one in", I would give it more stars-but defiantly worth a watch on a lazy day.
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