apfortony Reviews

Billy Jack (1971)

One Tin Soldier rides away...Thank God!

[7/10 · 15 July 2002]

Billy Jack is not completely without some merit. If the story had focused more on Billy's Indian heritage they could have had a classic action pic. But the story, such as it is, is so contrived that the film veers toward becoming a camp classic. The character of Billy Jack is still popular today and a remake with Keanu Reeves (Keanu Reeves? whoa!)is supposedly in the works. Bad Idea. This movie seems like its a product of the times. The movie features a special school where kids are free to sing songs, paint pictures and write poetry in order to express their individualism and creativity ad nauseum. None of this sits well with the townsfolk (or viewer) and a town council meeting is called that apparently was completely improvised. As scary as this might seem, this was actually one of the movie's better parts. Tom Laughlin handles the martial arts scenes very well. Delores Taylor is quite good as the school's teacher and the woman Billy obviously loves for her mind. The movie is filled with crystal clear bad guys and good guys and was made in time when idealologies between generations were vastly different. While its striking how far to the right America has moved since 1971, one could argue that there wasn't much more room on the left. Billy Jack isn't boring but could have been much better. The opening shows wild horses being rounded up and treated in an unpleasant, mean way. In order to show people being mean to horses the actors had to actually be mean to the horses who obviously had no stunt doubles. This is most uncool.

Lost in Space (1998)

It does not compute

[7/10 · 3 July 2002]

What if they made a movie version of the old TV show Lost in Space and the original robot, Jonathan Harris and Billy Mumy didn't show up? Danger Will Robinson is right. Those three were the show. At least the movie makers were wise enough to have the original voice in the new robot. That, June Lockhart's funny cameo plus the lift-off of the 'Jupiter 1' are the best parts of this billions budgeted bust. They could have saved millions by putting a man in the old robot suit instead of creating a real robot and it would have been an improvement! Instead of a CGI monkey (the absolute worst) they could have put big ears on a chimp ala the series and it would have been fine. But the biggest mistake was not giving Bill Mumy, the original Will Robinson, the role of the adult Will. That would have given old fans an emotional connection to what was a confusing,boring plot. And Dr. Smith becomes a spider? That is the final indignity! Oh the pain, the pain.

Up Close & Personal (1996)

Far Away & Bored

[30 June 2002]

If this movie is based on the life of newswoman Jessica Savitch then it sort of begs the question, why make a movie of her life? She was a nice enough person but what was so special that they had to get Robert Redford and Michelle Pfeiffer to star in her life story? It wasn't even her full life story only parts of it. The song by Celine Dion makes you think that Redford's character saved Pfeiffer from a life of sin and debauchery. Which, come to think of it, would have made a more interesting movie. At least Redford doesn't have to offer Pfeiffer a check for one million to get her to sleep with him.

Falling Down (1993)

Don't make him angry

[7/10 · 30 June 2002]

Falling Down is the kind of movie everyone can sort of identify with. When the speed limit is 55 mph and you are late for work, inevitably you always seem to get behind someone doing 30 and not afraid to use the break. When you are in the grocery store you don't mind getting out of other peoples way but then it seems like you are the only one providing that courtesy. In situations like these one gets perturbed. Because of this it is very easy to watch Falling Down and yell things at the screen like 'Yeah, Man!' and 'Nice one!' But we must avoid getting carried away with these feelings and remember the golden rule. Stress is a killer.

The Douglas character doesn't understand why he is the bad guy despite the fact that many people he has encountered are the dead guys. When watching this movie you get a strange feeling. You are supposed to root for the guy but you're glad he's not anyone you know. This movie shows that as we go through our daily routine we are all subject to that one little instance that will trigger our aggression and send us on a downward spiral toward insanity. Have a nice day.

Kimba the White Lion (1965–1967)

Kimba the white lion is his name...

[29 June 2002]

Although I remember Kimba from the early 1970s, it says here that the show began in 1966. This show was very popular in its day. Kimba wanted to turn all the jungle predators into vegetarians so everyone could live in peace and harmony. Actually it does sound like a show from the 60s. This show was based on a Japanese mangra (comic book)called Jungle Emperor. While there are some differences from Disney's The Lion King, there are enough similarities that somebody somewhere could have made a few bucks had they decided to protest. Kimba got into lots of fights with everything from mutant grasshoppers to saber-tooth tigers.

Babe (1995)

A most human film

[10/10 · 27 June 2002]

This film, which was robbed of the Oscar by Mel Gibson's bloated, boring Bravehart, does what every great film does: create magic. I remember the promotion for the original Superman, "You will believe a man can fly." For Babe they could have said, "You will believe animals can talk." The voice work is extraordinary. It's too bad films with "superstar" actors aren't as well cast. In an era where being obnoxious is considered funny and true-to-life, Babe shows that treating others with respect and kindness can work miracles. It is a very sweet-natured film that probably has made vegetarians out of countless thousands.

Before Sunrise (1995)

Not all that great

[7/10 · 25 June 2002]

Having seen this film a few times, I read other comments and was wondering what it was I missed. I like independent movies, romantic independent movies especially but this film left me apathetic. Some parts of it were terrific. The scene where they make imaginary phone-calls to their friends to talk about each other was wonderful. But if they fell so hard for each other then why didn't they feel the need to call or write? Because that would require too much effort? The ending causes this movie to fall short. The 'lets leave everything to chance' routine has been used so much in recent years its become groan inducing. Jesse says that people in a committed relationship become bored with each other once they've learned everything there is to know. That didn't sound real to me. It sounded like an excuse.

Planet of the Apes (2001)

the worst ape remake since King Kong

[3/10 · 28 May 2002]

I read somewhere that Hollywood should concentrate on remaking bad movies and leave the classics alone. We can only hope. While this remake wasn't a total waste, I still wish I had the six bucks back to go toward a DVD of the original. Lots of violence and one of the worst endings I've ever seen. This version doesn't add anything new. It only reiterates why Hollywood should leave the good stuff alone.

Another World (1964–1999)

Daytime Televisions best

[10/10 · 5 May 2002]

Another World was and is without a doubt THE best daytime drama that ever graced the small screen. It seems that even it's detractors (of whom there seem to be few) couldn't even turn it off after 15 years of so-called going downhill. The show improved tremendously when Victoria Wyndham and the Late Douglass Watson took over the spotlight from the wooden Jackie Courtney and George Reinholt. As the World Turns has taken Another World's former executive producer and it's former studio in Brooklyn. But I've seen World Turns and have not been impressed. However I did find it an excellent cure for insomnia. Passions is a joke, plain and simple. It's on the air for one reason, NBC owns it!

A Beautiful Mind (2001)

beautiful but 2001's best?

[8/10 · 2 May 2002]

Although I was not very familiar with the history of John Nash, the man whose life this picture is based on, I did find the story compelling and the acting very good indeed. However if this was the best film of 2001 then it certainly was a mediocre year for movies. Yes the ending was moving but in a melodramatic movie-of-week sort of way. Jennifer Connelly gives a superb performance and she adds depth to her role as the stoic supportive wife. We can see her fear grow as the evidence mounts against her husband. Through her frustration the audience gets a sense of how hard it would be to stand by someone with that kind of illness. This makes the payoff at the end all the more sweet. But the fact that Nash's life story was cleaned up for the big screen does unfortunately detract from the movie. One can almost feel the focus groups and marketing surveys determining how the film will finally play out. This is a shame because of the remarkable and convincing way the audience is set-up to discover that Nash suffers from schizophrenia. If the film had gone on past the point where it ended I think it would have scored a bullseye. Because even without knowing that certain parts of Nash's life were left out, I still wondered if he really said the things he said when he gave his speech. The fact that the film ends where it does already seemed to make it just a little too much Hollywood. That parts of his life were left out to make the picture more "commercial" makes me wonder if other parts were over emphasized for dramatic effect. This takes a good film down a notch.

A Killer Among Friends (1992 TV Movie)

better than average TV flick

[7/10 · 27 April 2002]

Another made-for-TV movie inspired by true events, this movie is rerun on lifetime quite often. It's scary to contemplate a person treating another human being like the girls in this film. This movie is better than most "women in jeopardy, inspired by the story of" television flicks of the late 80s/early 90s. Patty Duke is excellent as bereaved mother and Loretta Swit (Hot Lips from M*A*S*H) lends solid support as the investigating detective who tries to keep Duke's character from jeopardizing the case. A very sad disturbing film.

The Easter Bunny Is Comin' to Town (1977 TV Movie)

Fred Astaire returns to narrate

[7/10 · 27 April 2002]

If your kids want to see an Easter special, Here comes Peter Cottontail is better. But this Easter special from the late 1970s isn't too bad. Songs and score are harmless and the villain, an ornery bear, won't scare younger kids. The winter warlock from Santa Claus is coming to Town is very scary in comparison. Having seen this show and Peter Cottontail when they first aired, I saw them both again this past Easter. I didn't remember any details from this one even though it was released six years after Peter C.

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969)

Safety is not first. Goodness, truth and beauty come first

[9/10 · 23 April 2002]

I whole heartedly agree and its a shame that the motion picture industry has digressed to nothing but safe. This film is first and foremost a character study, enhanced by Maggie Smith's performance in the lead role. Following just two years after Sidney Poitier's popular and dynamic turn in "To Sir, with Love" this film presents a somewhat more complex portrait of a teacher. Here the teacher is not completely heroic. Although Miss Brodie ultimately is, as Sandy determines, dangerous, her philosophy of life and her dedication to her profession are both very admirable. One can only hope that the students who aren't selected as "Brodie girls" learn as much about goodness and beauty as Sandy, Mary Macgregor and the rest of the group. Pamela Franklin gives a stunning performance and its too bad she didn't get a career similar to Jodie Fosters. Jane Carr is also very good as the sweet, stuttering Mary. I think Jean Brodie's life philosophy is actually a very good one. It's just that she teaches it too zealously and comes in contact with some very impressionable young minds. But it is still hard to hard to argue when she labels Sandy an assassin. If you enjoy this picture then definitely see "To Sir, with Love" and "Conrack" starring Jon Voight. They are three remarkable films about three remarkable teachers.

Lost in Space (1965–1968)

*very* mindless escapism

[10/10 · 20 April 2002]

Back in the days before cable, this show was a must every afternoon after school. I always found this show much more entertaining then Star Trek, the popularity of which defies explanation, to me at least. I'd much rather listen to Dr. Smith insult the robot then hear Captain Kirk holler technobabble to the crew. Sure the monster-aliens looked cheesy but people forget that the show was made in the 1960s. Special effects didn't come close to what they are today. If you look at Star Trek, The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits, their effects aren't much better. I saw the movie version and didn't care for it at all. Jonathan Harris said when they were making the movie that they shouldn't tamper with a successful formula. He was right.

Jaws (1975)

"Oh boys, junior's back for his noon feeding"

[10/10 · 4 April 2002]

E.T., Saving Private Ryan and Schindler's List all received more accolades and perhaps, deservedly so. But this film is the best popcorn movie of Steven Spielberg's illustrious career. At least in my opinion. Spielberg masterfully has blended suspense,horror,drama and at times humor into a spellbinding thriller. The best mainstream thriller since Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. The acting is excellent and not just from the three leads but the whole supporting cast. From Murray Hamilton as the disbelieving Mayor to the mother of the little boy on the raft who confronts Brody in a small but memorable scene. John Williams' Oscar-winning score is arguably the most famous of all time. The whole movie is loaded with classic scenes from the opening sequence where Chrissy meets her fate to Quint's horrifying story about the men on an ill-fated mission to deliver the bomb during World War II. Even though most scenes have been memorized by now, this film never fails to deliver. That is perhaps the truest test of any movie.

The Towering Inferno (1974)

Disaster epic holds up well

[8/10 · 3 April 2002]

The Towering Inferno's special effects aren't that bad for 2002 so they must have been spectacular back in 1974. Two of the sequences, the ski lift like tram set up to carry the people trapped at the very top of the building and the rescue of the scenic elevator, are riveting. Most people have a fear of fire and of heights making this film much more accessible than most of the other disaster epics from the 70s. The acting is also excellent with both Paul Newman and the late Steve McQueen adding depth to some very thinly scripted characters. Fred Astaire, Jennifer Jones, Susan Flannery and Richard Chamberlain also stand out. The death of Jennifer Jones' character ranks with the death of Shelly Winters in The Poseidon Adventure as one of the screens most tragic. The pictures dedication to fire-fighters is very moving in the wake of the Sept 11th tragedy.

Benji (1974)

What a sweetheart!

[8/10 · 24 March 2002]

Those eyes, that face! Benji does seem almost human in his first motion picture. This film isn't in the same league as National Velvet or Lassie Come Home but it is a refreshing warm-hearted little movie that's filled with several funny and moving moments. What's best is that you can watch it with your kids without being bored or having to monitor every scene. The lovable star of this movie has a face that could melt a heart of stone. That helps to compensate for the somewhat predictable plot.

On Golden Pond (1981)

One of the warmest,richest and most human films of all

[10/10 · 23 March 2002]

I first saw this picture 20 years ago in the movie theater and loved it. I remember Fonda and Hepburn having the whole theater in stitches. "It's me, you old poop!" got me started laughing this time and as the film progressed, I was in tears both from laughing and crying. Being just 20-years-old when I first saw it, I can appreciate what Norman was going through better now. Jane Fonda purchased the film rights to Ernest Thompson's play and actually produced the picture for her father. That plus his death not long after make viewing this film even more poignant. Both Henry Fonda and Katherine Hepburn give magnificent performances and thankfully they are captured on film. I remember watching the Oscars for the year On Golden Pond was nominated and being ecstatic when they both won. It would have been nice if the movie had won also but oh well. I noticed that there are pearls of wisdom for everyone in this movie. For me, it was when Ethel tells Chelsea that life marches on, no matter what we are sad or bitter about. Just an excellent film. 10 out of 10.

In the Company of Men (1997)

Where's Gloria Steinem when you need her?

[8/10 · 21 March 2002]

It was very hard for me to watch this movie. But it was also very hard for me to take it seriously. Cruelty in any form is never acceptable behavior. I have seen enough of the world to believe that no male, or female for that matter, would ever set out to do what Chad and Howard do. Contrary to what others have posted these are not real people. Quite simply, I don't think anyone who did what Chad did would be alive for very long. Doesn't Christine have any relatives? I also can't believe I was the only one who saw the big "plot twist" coming about half way through the film. A bit obvious because if I can figure it out then anybody can. The entire cast was excellent and I felt really bad for Christine. But I was also glad to see that she survived. Howard got what he deserved. He should have told Chad no at the beginning. As for Chad, what goes around comes around. He will get his but the audience won't get to see it.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

The greatest fantasy epic of all time!

[10/10 · 12 March 2002]

Any movie that lasts for three hours and leaves you wishing it weren't over is an excellent film. Seeing this movie is like watching an elaborate dream you've had come to life. Of course parts of it are more like a nightmare. I've read some of the criticisms but I can't understand how anyone could not be impressed with this film. With the exception of a car in the background in one scene, this movie is almost flawless. The battle to save middle earth is painted with such rich detail that even those unfamiliar with the novel should find it easy to follow. It's basically a very simple story about good versus evil told with many characters and intricate detail. It's a lot like Star Wars.

Love Story (1970)

Pardon me, but love means saying you're sorry

[10 March 2002]

This picture is frequently shown on the American Movie Classics cable channel and I saw it again (after about 20 years) a week after Valentines Day. When watching this film I was struck not by how corny it was but by how affective Ryan O'Neil and Ali MacGraw are despite the words they are required to say. Neither of them ever really attained similar success again but they are both still widely remembered today. Probably largely due to this film. The music and cinematography are superb and those people old enough to remember Andy Williams' haunting recording of the main theme will most likely get a double jolt when they hear the instrumental version. But the screenplay is definitely the films greatest flaw. And how this movie got an Oscar nomination for Best Picture is anybody's guess although its box office certainly didn't hurt. Airport, another box office smash but modest artistic achievement, was nominated the same year. When the film reached the part where Jenny tells Oliver "Love means never having to say you're sorry!" I sort of responded with Oh yeah, I remember this part. But having matured quite a bit in 20 years, I can only shake my head at how wrong poor dear doomed Jenny is. It's saying your sorry and meaning it that's hard. And the real tear-jerker is how so many of us aren't able to do just that.

Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)

Compelling film about divorce

[10/10 · 4 March 2002]

I saw this movie back in the winter of 1980. I remember feeling drained when I left the theater. I don't remember any other movie that has made me both laugh and cry so hard. The scenes at the grocery store being a good example of the former. Meryl Streep's reply to being asked if she was a failure as a wife and a mother by her husband's attorney, a good example of the latter. Dustin Hoffman deservedly won an Oscar for this film. His character asks if a mother is a better parent simply by virtue of her sex. It's an interesting question that caused a lot of discussion when the film was in theaters. But Meryl Streep's mother answers the question when she realizes that her taking custody of Billy would mean totally disrupting his life once again. What she does is very unselfish and that is something that probably does make a mother the better of the two parents. If a choice has to be made.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966 TV Movie)

Even better than A Charlie Brown Christmas

[10/10 · 23 February 2002]

This beloved Christmas classic, first televised in 1966, is the warmest, most incisive program among all the Christmas perenials. I know thats saying a lot considering some of the excellent programs that get repeated each year. A Charlie Brown Christmas, It's a Wonderful Life, and Rudolph to name a few. But none of the others can produce the tears that this one gets, at least from me, year after year. Perhaps because it's only 26 minutes long it gets to the point much faster then Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. Dickens' Scrooge surely was the inspiration for the grinch. The lines "Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more." should be included in the memorable quotes section. It's about here that the eyeballs start to water. The last line of the show, "Christmas Day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be, just so long as we have we." can reduce even the most cynical scrooge to tears. Boris Karloff's narration is without equal and the songs and score every bit as memorable as those from Charlie Brown. God Bless the late Theodore Geisel (Dr. Suess) and Chuck Jones.

Another World (1964–1999)

Two Years latter, the loss still stings. No more NBC!

[10/10 · 23 August 2001]

I'm not the typical soap opera watcher, if there is such a thing. I'm a male between the ages of 18 and 49 which is precisely the demographic NBC was seeking when they canceled Another World on April 12, 1999. Even though I'm not a woman, I suspect that age was more important to the suits. The network brass stated that the 35-year-old serial no longer fit their profile. Why? because it had too much class? Thanks to my beloved Grandmother, I started watching Another World back in the fall of 1968. The show was 30 minutes long and in black and white. (It may have been in color but our TV was B&W.) I was just a kid. Most of the time I didn't quite know what characters were talking about. However I knew the faces and I knew who everybody was. So I stopped arguing for cartoons and watched Another World every day. Back then it started at 3:00 and I was home from school in time to see it. Whoever thinks the soaps are trash obviously never watched AW. The acting was excellent, something that never changed from 1968 to 1999. I've seen just about all of the other soaps since 1968. I have to say that none of them ever equaled Another World's caliber. The stories were very much like real life except with much more bad luck. The characters from Rachel Davis and Walter Curtin in the 60's and 70's to Lila, Cameron, Cindy and Paulina in the 90's, were always striving to get to their own "another world". A place, in their minds, that they thought they ought to be. Their perception of the world around them was colored by their preconcievd emotions and aspirations. The best example of this, in my opinion, was the Walter/Lenore storyline which played out over four years and included a murder trial, the birth of a baby,and the value of material possessions versus truth and respect between a husband and wife. There was so much history in the show. NBC just threw it away like an old shoe. In an era where hundreds of channels are available, NBC canceled the one show which would have kept me watching NBC no matter how many choices I had. But no more. In September I will be put in charge of a "people-meter" to measure and inform the neilsen ratings people on what I watch. I'm told that I'll represent 250,000 viewers. I don't know how that can be considered accurate, but that's how the ratings people do it. Bad News for NBC and Passions. They have both just lost 250,000 viewers in the "good" demographic.