cameronwhiteboy Reviews

Peacemaker (2022– )

More Propaganda for You

[2/10 · 21 October 2022]

White man bad. POC good. All quotes filled.

It's everything Hollywood has been doing for quite some time and they're still failing absolutely drastically.

They seem to think curse words and yelling are jokes. There are scenes that do not matter to the entire episode let alone the series as a whole.

It's been touched on by a lot of other reviewers but it needs to be reiterated. The bar scene in the first episode is the pinnacle of cringe. The scene where a petite woman (who swears and drinks but is also hot which is meant to make you think she is super cool) is being made fun of by men much bigger than her and then she beats them all up has been done at least a thousand times before. So much so, that comedy could actually come out of her losing.

But would Peacemaker dare to be original? No.

They'll do the same scene changing absolutely nothing and then continue on their propaganda spree directly after because women can't have nice things ever and men have a very easy life, just in case you weren't aware.

John Cena's dad is also an old racist who uses all the naughty slang words and even some new ones that a guy like him couldn't possibly know and watches a blatantly obvious replica of Alex Jones. The people who write this stuff can't contain their hatred for two seconds and are on the attack for the entirety of these episodes.

John Cena does his best to save this series but you know he's just having fun with it and I can't see him as anything other than John Cena having a laugh. If a show makes you think "I bet the crew just loved filming this and thought they were so funny" then they haven't immersed you at all.

I struggled to watch this without my eyes being in the back of my head for how often they were rolling upwards.

Terrible.

Samaritan (I) (2022)

By the Numbers

[6/10 · 31 August 2022]

You've seen this movie before. You've seen it a thousand times before to the point where it's almost not even worth watching.

Old superhero is "all washed up" and sad.

Old superhero meets child who believes in them but of course is disappointed in what they've become.

Old superhero loves child and protects them.

Old superhero must prove they've still got it after all.

The violence is disappointing and reminds me of Venom in that they clearly forgot who they were making this for. They have the language of MA15+ but the violence of PG13. I was expecting some hard hitting stuff but the violence looks as believable as a bad WWE match.

In saying that, the writing is okay and the casting is excellent. Stallone and the kid deliver great performances.

They say not to work with kids because you will always be outshined but Stallone still comes off as the megastar here. The villain was also done well.

Ask yourself "You've seen this movie already but would you like to watch it again with a little twist at the end?". If the answer is yes, then go ahead and watch this film, otherwise give it a miss. It's no biggie.

What Is a Woman? (2022)

Compulsory Viewing

[10/10 · 14 June 2022]

Never did I think that we would need this documentary. What a world we live in.

It blows my mind that everybody on the side of "Chemically castrate your kids" stumbles, ends an interview or becomes extremely defensive rather quickly.

They have never been asked questions that go against what they believe... ever! So when they hear a new way of thinking they immediately label Matt "Transphobic" or "Dangerous".

This documentary gives you the true history of Gender that for some reason isn't spoken about or brought up on the news.

As you watch, you begin to wonder who the victims truly are. Obviously the children who have no idea what they're signing up for are one of them but what about the adults who are fully brainwashed and then see no way out once it's too late?

Are the politicians brainwashed or bullied by their own constituents?

Do the social workers believe in these lies or are they forced to tell people whatever they want to hear in fear of losing their income to support their families?

Some of these questions are answered and others I think can safely be assumed.

I learned a lot thanks to this documentary and I hope Matt makes more in the future.

I hope The Daily Wire makes more conservative content (especially for kids) so I can eliminate Disney and other filthy left leaning programs from my family's life.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)

Ben... Skywalker?

[2/10 · 6 June 2022]

It's been stated and now it will be reiterated, Disney is Luke Skywalkering Obi Wan Kenobi.

Obi was a confident and strong Jedi and yet after ten years he is apparently... all washed up.

Ewan is probably the only person who can act in this series if you don't count Joel Edgerton who makes a brief appearance.

Moses Ingram could be the worst actress I've ever seen in my life and until the series ends, I won't be certain if her character is worse than Rose or not.

Rose was a terrible and boring character but she was played by someone who can act. Whereas here we have a cool idea for a character played by somebody who is just not believable in the slightest and I can't determine which is worse yet. Every time she is on the screen I find myself shaking my head.

Her acting is worthy of rivalling 'The Room' in that it would be hilarious for anybody who hates Star Wars. For the rest of us, it is tragic.

Disney has taken a character, tried to make them look strong and cool whilst giving them no other personality other than angry whilst also giving her zero flaws. This is of course the new age where all female characters have zero flaws, are perfect and if it wasn't for these pesky men, they would have completed their goals ages ago. It's all one big eye roll and beyond cringe.

The Princess Leia chase scenes are also amusingly terrible. How she manages to duck and weave past all of these grown adults including Obi Wan is just embarrassing to have to sit through. It's also time consuming considering you know exactly where it is going. Remember, she's also a female character so she's very intelligent and perfect with zero flaws.

Seeing Hayden Christiansen as Darth Vader is a great moment and so far most scenes with him in it are decent.

I can't forgive the terrible casting and below average plot. It's beyond obvious nobody cares about this protecting Leia stuff when we know she's going to be fine. I'm far more interested in Darth Vader messing everybody up than I am in anything else going on and it really says something about the writing when I'm cheering for the bad guy.

Overall, give this and all modern Star War's shows an absolute miss until they stop blaming their own faults on racism and realise that they are just awful at what they do.

Superstore (2015–2021)

Started Great, Now Cringe

[2/10 · 1 April 2022]

Jonah has to be the most hated protagonist of all time. What was appealing about him? He is a whiny liberal effeminate man.

It started as a funny show making fun of horrible customers with some interesting but familiar personalities running the store. It has turned into just straight up woke propaganda. There's a whole episode dedicated to how hard black people have it and how black women are looked at to push for social progression (completely untrue).

Such a shame, there goes another show to these losers who think the world conforms to their idiotic beliefs when it doesn't. They'll never learn.

I Love a Mama's Boy (2020– )

This is my crack

[7/10 · 15 February 2022]

I hate reality tv. I cannot stand it.

I usually only watch the first episode of shows like this because that's when you meet the crazy characters and laugh at how ridiculous they are all whilst knowing they're going to be different by the end.

But this show is different.

In this show there are no psychologists, therapists or doctors trying to make people better. No councillors attempting to make these men less dependant on their mother's or vice versa.

They give these sad, mentally weak men and their dominating mothers free range to be themselves and drive the poor girlfriends of these "men" absolutely insane and it's beyond hilarious.

I'm losing my mind screaming at the tv, trying to let one of the prettiest girls on the show know that her boyfriend is actually gay and is using his mother as an excuse for them no longer being intimate.

I'm trying to tell another family that a mum shouldn't be making huge decisions on her son's wedding without approval from the future bride.

But everybody's favourite has to be Laila. Laila is a racist and hates her son's Korean girlfriend, who will not give up in trying to win the affections of a woman who is constantly trying to replace her!

This is legit too. This is actually happening and nobody is trying to make anybody better and that's why you can keep watching this show.

So long as these mother's stay insane and these men have no backbone to stick up for their girlfriends, this show will keep winning.

Get Him to the Greek (2010)

A Surprise Gem

[7/10 · 13 January 2022]

I remember when I first saw the ad for this I said "There's no way in hell I'm seeing that crap".

Low and behold, I was wrong as my girlfriend demanded we go and see Russell Brand "be his sexy self". I never saw it personally. Is it just the accent or is there something else about the greasy haired skeleton with an oversized skull that gets girls knickers soaking?

Anyway, holy crap! I learned to not judge a book by its cover. Jonah Hill as the straight man with Russell as the comic was a brilliant combination and they bounce off of one another in superb fashion.

Russell is a carefree rockstar who takes drugs like skittles, misses his ex and starts controversy like he's Kanye West mixed with the Sex Pistols whilst Jonah plays a dweeby fanboy who has to make sure that his hero makes it on time to his own concert. This proves rather difficult as Russell would rather take drugs and have copious amounts of sex to avoid thinking about his horrid relationships with friends and family.

It's shot well, the music is not only original but actually funny and every actor plays their part tremendously.

The story is okay, not brilliant and the ending is expected.

I went in expecting crap so I was pleasantly surprised.

Please Kill Me, I'm a Faggot Nigger Jew (1996 Video)

Initially Angry. Now I'm a Supporter!

[10/10 · 13 January 2022]

I'm not a racist, homophobe or antisemite. I saw this title and was shocked and appalled!

But then I decided to bite the pillow and actually watch it...

PKMIAFNJ was way ahead of it's time. The cinematography stands up today. The themes are still relevant and the people interviewed raised so many interesting points that I never cared to think about for myself.

It sounds dumb but I genuinely believe that if every person watched this documentary then we'd all fair better in life.

If you are a homosexual black person who is also Jewish (which turns out is far more common than I realised) then you need to see this film and you need to see it pronto!

This documentary warmed my heart and brought a smile to my face.

Thank you for making this!

Dexter: New Blood (2021–2022)

Great Start, Average Middle, Terrible End

[4/10 · 13 January 2022]

Incredible, poetic even! It's amazing how this one season represents the entire series by starting great, then stretching it a bit and finally finishing horribly.

The writing and directing in this show starts in tremendous fashion. Yes, we've got our classic forced diversity and our evil cis white male characters (you'll be reminded who the cis white males are constantly by the most hated character in the series) but it's still Dexter and MCH delivers again in phenomenal fashion.

To be honest, there are only TWO likeable characters in this series. Dexter obviously but also Logan. Logan is a basically the perfect person who coaches the wrestling team, helps just about everyone in town and is also a police officer. As much as it sounds like an obvious attempt to set this guy up for a huge downfall by making him so unbelievably lovely that you'll be so sad if he cops it, they actually do a really decent job with him and he's a great addition to the cast.

They completely screw this up with Molly, however. Molly is the "Hello, fellow kids" character who the writers believe you'll think is "so cool" and will make you say things like "Wow she has spontaneous sex with strangers all the time and doesn't care about anything! I want to be just like her". The writers have forgotten that journalists are hated by everybody in this day and age and despite Molly being a podcaster, she definitely has all the traits of an annoying journalist who thinks she's way cooler than she is and if she acted this way in real life, she'd see far more consequences than what the show initially gives her.

She actually reminds me of a far more annoying Rose from the newer Star Wars movies because until Rose, I had never wanted one of the heroes of a story to die so very passionately. They were both also beyond hateable and added little to their stories. There's one other coincidence between them I can't state because I'll get reported.

The main villain of the series was done well I thought. He wasn't the best and he wasn't the worst. I loved how clever he ended up being and the damage he ended up doing. He was also a fantastic wedge between Dexter and his son.

As for the other characters, they were all done well but none of them I became particularly attached to. Dexter's new girl is the chief of police and she's got her short lived boring story with the native Americans before she finallystarts getting cluey.

Dexter's kid is a whiny little b*tch but at least he has good reason to be. Still, he does become annoying after a while. I understand in real life, if your dad abandons you, you're probably going to be annoyed for a while but I don't really want to watch ten 45-55 minute episodes where you're complaining and being a little girl about it.

I suppose the biggest problem that the series has always faced are characters who are so selfish it's hard to like them and the ones who aren't seem to have ulterior motives. This season is sadly no different.

There were some episodes that just DRAGGED ON especially episode 8. There was just no reason for this long chase that took up the entire episode especially when your finale needed much more time and I'll address that now.

The finale was pretty disappointing. It needed more time and it needed more love. We don't get to see Dexter truly running from the law or how the people from his old or new life would react if they found out who he was. I'd also love to have seen how the world would have reacted to Dexter's crimes and whether they would have loved him for it or been disgusted.

The people who find out tend to annoy me so much because they act like they're so much better. The dude is killing pedophiles and woman bashers and yet these people shake their heads and say "No, No! We need to get them by the book! And then release them within a few days for them to do it again! That's how this works!". Most people from the original series and in this one can't seem to figure out that maybe the world would be better without the people Dexter killed. Blows my mind.

There is so much I would have love to have seen and I don't get to. Angel was featured and somehow was not used to his full potential. How good would a Dexter and Angel reunion have been?? How could you get this wrong again?

And what's the excuse they used for that horrid ending? I can't post spoilers but it's such a dumb way of thinking. Can they not think outside the box? They were trapped by their own morality and Dexter was always something that broke the mould and made you question your morality. But instead they chose to just "do the right thing" by their own account and I don't believe we will get another season of this and if we do, I don't think I'll watch it.

Such a shame.

How I Met Your Mother (2005–2014)

You Must Have Negative 1 IQ to Enjoy

[1/10 · 30 December 2021]

Barney's having sex with many women again because he is so suave and cool (laugh track ensues) Did you know the actor is actually gay? (Audience shocked noise)

Honestly, this is the personality people needed after they watched Friends over and over again until the references just became far too outdated.

The Big Bang Theory was okay for them but it just wasn't the same. Even this isn't quite Friends but it's the best damn thing to it.

Shows like this create terrible people who genuinely think they are the characters but people do not act like this. This is not normal. This is not funny. You just aren't original and need a personality to copy. Please, I beg of you for your friends and family, find a better one.

Titans (I) (2018–2023)

The Cringe is Real

[2/10 · 30 December 2021]

Besides Robin, the casting is beyond dreadful.

It's the classic Netflix "We have to fill our quota of minorities stat! This will make the neon haired people happy!" When will they learn? They are never happy and by making them happy, you p*ss everybody else off.

Terrible cast, awful writing and the costumes... Good God!

Every comic convention... No, you know what? Every convention full stop has better costume designs than what we are given here.

I watched Season 1 and I couldn't stand it. Now people who liked it are telling me it gets worse.

No thanks. Keep this the hell away from me.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

An Underrated Future Classic

[9/10 · 30 December 2021]

Miscast? Lex Luther maybe. But Jesse Eisenberg does a surprisingly amazing job for someone I thought couldn't ever be Lex.

The Justice League build-up? A little boring sure but necessary to build the future films to take on Marvel.

Doomsday? Okay, I'll give you that one. That was out of nowhere and unnecessary. Especially considering he's such a huge supervillain and how in the comics he defeated Superman, he definitely could've been used for later. It was also frustrating that I can write this without it being a spoiler because they threw it in the advertisement like that wouldn't be a good surprise.

Other than that though I thought the rest of the film was phenomenal.

Ben Affleck was an outstanding Batman and Bruce Wayne. Cavill smashed it out as Superman once again and the build up between them all being orchestrated by Jesse's excellent despite not quite true to the comics portrayal of Lex Luther was all brilliant.

The fight between the world's greatest detective and the ultimate superhero was superb. There were references to the source material and they managed to make it both intense and at times humorous.

It all had purpose.

And most importantly, we had a winner.

A lot of people think the ending to the fight was lame but I thought it was great, it made sense and we were able to get a winner without killing off either hero.

I'm beyond happy they did not write a cop out where they both win.

The team up is decent and sets up the future films.

At worst, this is an 8 but I'm giving it a 9 for the excellent attention to detail and the clever writing.

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

All for Nothing and Nothing for All

[1/10 · 30 December 2021]

I'm no Marvel fan but I'll tell you that Infinity War was one of the best films from Disney's Marvel that I had ever seen.

The ending was new and despite the fact that we all KNEW that those lost in the first film weren't truly lost forever; it was still a great moment.

My loser mate actually cried at the ending and I laughed at him. But he loves Marvel and I envy his blind loyalty and his ability to be entertained and amused by films that do very little for those that love an intelligent plot.

Here, (and I'll be shocked if you see this as a spoiler) everything is reversed.

In a painfully long and boring 3 hours. Everything awesome about that first film is undone in exchange for Fat Thor, Soyboy Hulk and some really depressed iconic superheroes.

They drag this out for over an hour before anything entertaining happens and you're beyond bored by that point. So bored that you cannot possibly care that the most insanely overpowered but incredibly well acted supervillain in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is about to be defeated by one hero's sacrifice.

Even my friend couldn't muster up a tear this time. As much as he loves his Marvel, they had unfortunately beaten him to death with unfunny content and boring scenes that are almost completely inconsequential to the entire plot to the point where even he, a die hard fan, stopped caring.

That was the truly tragic moment in my cinema for me. Other than the fact that I too was watching this film.

Normally when I review Marvel films, I'll say "If you're a die hard Marvel fan than you'll likely love this" but I can't even do that for this film.

It's boring, it's long and it undid the only cool film Disney's Marvel ever made.

A true tragedy if ever I did see one.

The Avengers (2012)

Not What It Could Have Been

[3/10 · 30 December 2021]

I have watched this movie twice. The first time, I couldn't believe how lame it was. Here are arguably the greatest Marvel superheroes, all come together, the budget is tremendous, the actors are outstanding and the CGI is out of this world.

But what happens? Nothing of any interest. Nothing that was truly necessary in pushing anything forward.

I walked away the first time disheartened.

Time passed and I thought... No! Surely I wasn't thinking straight. Everybody loves this movie! I'm clearly wrong.

But I wasn't wrong. This movie is just heroes fight each other slightly and then random aliens. There was no brave step taken reminding me of how Disney also handled the Star Wars films. The same problem was here. Nothing was brave and nothing new was done.

I don't put spoilers to my reviews but this film is by the numbers and surprisingly not that good.

If you're a Marvel film fan or you just want to wind down, do zero thinking and just watch Hulk smash then this film is for you.

Marvel comic fans and other fans of great cinema will find this to be a rather large letdown.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

Fan Service Done Well

[6/10 · 28 December 2021]

This is one giant nostalgia hit injected straight into your eyes thanks to Sony.

They knew what they were doing here.

They knew how many of us loved the original Spider-Man films and they knew how many people love the new Spider-Man.

They also knew that those fans are somewhat divided.

How do we get the old fans to like our newer and worker series? We do what we did with Star Wars... We bring back the most loved characters.

And it worked!

The script isn't out of this world good but it's enough. Willem Dafoe does a tremendous job reprising his role of The Green Goblin and is the most outstanding of the older villains. Jamie Foxx's Electro wasn't all that. The character was boring in The Amazing Spider-Man and he didn't really deliver here either.

The combat was decent, the surprises were done really well and the story wasn't completely awful.

Mary Jane still sucks but her performance was the best she has done. Basically, she wasn't an insufferable, woke fun sucker for the first time ever.

Still wouldn't mind if she got the old Gwen Stacey treatment, if you know what I mean.

Aunt May is also boring and beyond dumb in this film. I won't spoil anything. All I'll say is, lives would have been saved if we didn't listen to her, yet the movie acts as if she's so profound and good.

Overall, this is the best a Marvel film can do and the first time I've rated any of them above 5 stars. Don't go in thinking this will be phenomenal. Unless you're a a massive Marvel fan. In which case, this will be the best film you'll ever see according to you.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)

Who Was This For?

[3/10 · 28 December 2021]

The most I can give a Marvel film is a 5/10 because they're never anything special in terms of story. So a 3 is actually decent for these films.

My biggest gripe with this film is the same as I had with the first one. It can't choose its audience. Is it for kids with its absolutely awful G rated, "let's not offend anybody" weak as piss jokes? Or is it for adults where we eat people's heads and use harsh profanities?

The film chooses all of these options and does them all half assed. Disappointing everybody in the end.

Venom used to be seen as a badass super villain that everybody used to say was their "favourite Spider-Man villain". Now he's basically a wimp who has the emotions of a 14 year old girl. The dialogue between him and Eddie is beyond cringeworthy. Not one joke landed in my cinema.

The characters were all horrendous and I cared for none of them. Eddie's ex-fiancé's new fiancé helps out way too much and I suppose that really speaks to Marvel's true fanbase which are cucks.

Shriek in the comics had unnatural chalk white skin and a Dutch last name. She's now black because (((woke elites))) really think that's important. Truly disgusting.

In saying this, I took a Marvel fan with me and she liked it quite a lot despite the fact she couldn't tell me why. These films are designed for them. It's not clever, it's nothing new but it's action packed and a bit of fun.

In conclusion, there's nothing new here. We fight a villain who does SLIGHTLY different things to the first villain. Nothing progresses. A weird, not funny but somewhat exciting film.

Dave Chappelle: The Closer (2021 TV Special)

The Best Story Telling Comedian

[9/10 · 10 October 2021]

You watch Stand-Up comedy and expect to laugh. You watch enough stand-up comedy and you pretty much know what you're in for.

Dave Chapelle completely flips you on your head in this one. This isn't just comedy, there's a point here. It's a point that needs to be heard in this insanely divided state we are all in.

If you don't understand or like Dave then you're going to hate him. No matter what side of the political spectrum you're on.

But if you listen to him and sit through his stories and understand them through his eyes, which he genuinely makes easy for you, you will receive a message stronger than anything that has been released for a long, long time.

Dave Chapelle makes fun of the far racist right and the extremely weak left whilst also hitting you with hard facts. At some points, I found I wasn't laughing but instead I was just agreeing and the things I didn't agree with still either made me laugh or just think from another perspective.

Very rarely does a stand-up show make me feel like I sat through and incredible movie but this one managed it, This is one of the greatest Stand-Up shows you will ever see in your life.

Don't miss it!

Squid Game (2021– )

Should have been a movie

[3/10 · 2 October 2021]

This show drags. I beg of you to skip episode two altogether.

We're here to watch the people play the games and die. I don't care about all of these absolute whiny little girls and their annoying problems.

I'll admit, I'm watching with English dubs. It's just like anime. It sounds over-acted and annoying. All the women in this show sounds beyond annoying.

This show shines when it focuses on the games and the storytelling slightly before and after the games. Everything else is drawn out. I wonder if it's because it's a tv show. A movie would have gotten all of this out of the way and then play ball!

There are some great diamonds hidden under an abundance of rocks. If you can hold out, then you can enjoy some great scenes. If you have zero patience though, do yourself a favour and hope they make a movie version.

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)

Pretend it's not canon

[1/10 · 2 October 2021]

Where to begin... Kylo Ren is supposed to be our Darth Vader but when he took off his mask in the first movie there were very audible laughs in my cinema... because he looks like a loser, nobody can take him seriously. He's been training under Luke freaking Skywalker and Snoke yet he is nearly beaten by a traitorous stormtrooper and he IS beaten by a chick who has never even held a lightsaber before.

Darth Vader was never beaten until the last movie and even then that's debatable. Kylo Ren is the weakest villain Star Wars has ever had. So now they're after Luke Skywalker who for some reason is now a hermit despite once being the very idea of an optimistic Jedi. The character has changed so much that even Mark Hamill hates it which he doesn't shy away from admitting in all of his interviews. Despite this however, he still steals the show. Oh, he also lives on an island with weird ass penguin things so Disney can make another million in merchandising.

Then the classic Disney forced comedy is put in there, none of it is actually funny.

Turns out Rey who is more powerful than Kylo is an absolute nobody, the mystery of her parents is solved because they're random nobodies... amazing. (This of course is changed in the last film thanks to the outrage)

The only good part was the connection she had with Kylo that was set up by Snoke and even that was weird when they made him not have a shirt on so that girls would get moist except his body to head ratio is hilarious and became a meme.

Leia somehow uses the force to escape death from space... wut?

Spaceships drop bombs onto a ship... in space... how do the bombs drop?

Now do you want to get started on Finn and Rose's boring and weak storyline that was completely unnecessary? Rose is quite possibly the most boring character I've ever witnessed in any film. Their mission to find the hacker guy could've all been avoided if that blue haired moron just told Po the plan.

But they waste their time saving stupid camel bird things and whilst they're about to get torn apart by the First Order they still have time to do that and say the dumbest lines in cinema history. "Worth it" (removes saddle) "No, now it's worth it". Christ, did I just sit through an animal activist film or the worst Star Wars subplot ever. I rank it worse than Jar Jar because it was so forced.

Now Rey and Kylo meet up again and turns out Snoke set this all up, that's pretty cool.

Snoke is so powerful he was able to set up such a connection from insane distances. He's so powerful that he is able to pick up and torture Rey who has already proven to be ridiculously powerful with force despite no training whatsoever. Then Kylo kills him. Not through skill or a mastery of the force but through one simple mind trick that Snoke didn't sense. It was pretty cool in that moment but now we're stuck with Kylo who is yet to actually win a fight as our main bad guy.

I'll give them credit for the Kylo and Rey team up, that was good.

And in that moment they had a chance to change everything. Rey looked like she was approaching the dark side and Kylo just proved he isn't entirely evil. They could've done something entirely new and original and had the two main characters SWAP sides!!! Could you imagine?! It was set up for that!

But no. They couldn't because as I said, that's original, new and actually fun. So Rey escapes Kylo because Kylo is incompetent AGAIN further weakening the main villain.

Meanwhile, Finn and Rose are betrayed blah blah, nobody cares.

Blue hair wants to save everyone and blow up the first order by sacrificing herself. She's going to go at light speed and smash through the space ship... wait what???

You're telling me we could do that this whole time??! Why wasn't that done to every other ship beforehand?? Why wasn't this done to the Death Star?? Whoever uses this tactic first will win EVERY WAR! Why are there no counter measures put in place for this??? So she does it and it looks cool but if you think about it for even two seconds it's just a spit in the face of the entire series.

Kylo comes to kill the remaining crew members on that planet. Luke appears as a hologram and basically outdoes Kylo again further weakening our new main villain. Turns out he's not there. Luke somehow dies from this... okay...

Also Finn is about to sacrifice himself for the crew which would've been a good and honorable death but is pushed out of the way by Mrs Boring herself, Rose. In this moment I don't think I've ever seen a cinema more hopeful that a supposed good character would just die, I'm referring to Rose. I didn't mind Finn until he said those stupid lines, now I don't care if he dies.

Now that all the cool characters are dead and we're stuck with Rey, who is such a Mary Sue, is so powerful and has beaten Kylo twice now... why are we scared of the First Order? We have no reason to be!

Rose, who is so boring and such a lame and unnecessary character.

Finn, who should be dead.

Po, Finn's gay lover Kylo, the weakest villain ever who nobody should be scared of And Leia, who's actress is dead.

At least the blue haired chick died. That was good.

The Rebels were cool because they had Han Solo and the Empire was cool because it had Darth Vader. Now both sides are boring because the new guys are so incredibly lame.

Thank you for reading.

Infinite (2021)

Brilliant idea, WORST execution

[1/10 · 2 October 2021]

I very rarely post a review of a film I couldn't finish.

I couldn't do it. When I realised there was 40 minutes more of this film to go, I turned to my partner and before I could say "Do we have to finish this?" I noticed she was fast asleep.

Even ignoring the blatant left-wing propaganda, this movie is so boring. HOW? With such an amazingly original idea, Mark Wahlberg and an action packed start? How do you screw this up??

As soon as our main character learns about their amazing gift, we're shifted into a stupid battle between good and evil. We don't get enough time to see how he could use these talents in his everyday life.

It reminds me of the movie Jumper with Hayden Christensen. We get to watch as that character benefits in his everyday and personal life from his gift before we're thrown into a crazy battle that's been going for a Millenia.

This movie jumps right over that fun stuff and throws you directly into something you don't care about with a main character who is boring and side characters with zero personality. Just the classic STRONG, POWERFUL and OUTSPOKEN women. One with ugly dyed blue hair, one who is young with unwarranted self-importance, one who is old and fun and then of course the love interest who again... is very strong and smart.

They have definitely filled all their 'quotas' here and at the point where Derek from 'The Good Place' said "I resent the gender labelling", my eyeballs rolled so far back into my skull that I could see my brain crying.

I really hope somebody takes this really great idea and makes it good! It's dying for a complete remake already.

The Babysitter: Killer Queen (2020)

Good Sequel, Average Movie

[6/10 · 16 September 2021]

Yeah, you need to watch the first one. It does an okay job of filling you in if you're just jumping straight in but I still wouldn't recommend that path. Especially since the first film is better.

Don't get me wrong, I liked the first one. And if you liked the first one then you'll still enjoy the second one. However if you really didn't like the first one then stay the hell away from the second one!

The Scott Pilgrimish vibe from the first film is still there but in a much smaller dose. Almost like they forgot about it halfway through the movie.

Seeing the characters from the first film just come back was really deflating after all the hard work we put into killing them.

Nevertheless, their performances are decent with Robbie Amell stealing the win in funniest but also most likeable bad guy.

Netflix unfortunately can't help themselves but stick their politics into the film. I wish they realised that the first movie's popularity was helped by the fact that they kept their forced agenda out of it. There's not too much of it but enough for you to roll your eyes.

The twists and turns are enough for loyal viewers but also leave us wondering... What are they going to do for a third movie? As I believe McG confirmed a sequel. And if so, they need to move on from this cast to progress the story but it's also the cast it's audience has fallen in love with. What a pickle.

Overall, it's a bit of fun with solid over the top gore that will keep you guessing. If you do guess the ending before it happens then well done to you because I didn't.

The Babysitter (I) (2017)

Surprisingly decent

[7/10 · 16 September 2021]

You watch the trailer and immediately think "Here we go... Another trashy Netflix movie". I had to be asked a few times to watch this movie. I'm glad I did.

This is a surprising gem in Netflix movies. The violence is over the top and not realistic at all but the movie shares a little Scott Pilgrimish vibe that helps make you laugh (and cringe at times) and look passed the silliness.

Great performances by the cast help you invest in these characters. You really want to see the bad guys lose even though they're pretty funny.

Netflix was also able to keep it's politics out of this one, making it funnier than their usual comedies.

The Babysitter sits as a surprisingly decent horror comedy film that I can't believe it, but I would actually recommend to people.

Orphan (2009)

Phenomenal Acting, Brilliant Plot

[8/10 · 8 September 2021]

I like to call these kind of horror's "Solo Films". Not because I think it would be better with Harrison Ford but because this kind of horror/thriller is best enjoyed on your own.

I wouldn't crack this one out with the boys; mainly because it starts slow and has a rather small kill count. This is for couples or if you just want a chill night alone. Emphasis on "chill" for this one.

I am harsh on child actors and this entire ensemble absolutely nails their roles with massive props to Fuhrman taking on the role of a character far more complex than just a psycho "9 Year Old".

Genius action, a well thought out story and a relentless killer make this a really exciting thriller that I encourage everybody to watch.

Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021)

Zero Progression, Weaker Characters

[6/10 · 8 September 2021]

What was great about the first one was it wasn't just new to us but also new to the characters. It was fun and exciting seeing them work out what was going on around them and by watching them figure things out, we learned more about how the characters operate.

In this sequel, everybody knows the gig so we miss out on that. That's fine. But these characters have no... character!

One man's an idiot, the women are very smart whilst the other men are both simps. I know, you'd think you were watching a Netflix special.

Despite this, the puzzles are still exciting and fun. Minus the beach puzzle, all were pretty great.

There is a twist but it's not anything to talk about.

Overall, it was enough to keep fans of the first film somewhat happy but not enough was pushed forward plot wise for the rest of us. This definitely feels like they are setting up for more than just one more movie.