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SteveMadcow
Reviews
Resident Evil (2002)
"RESIDENT EVIL was a surprise... Check it out if you want fun."
I had not wanted to see this flick. The trailer sucked big time, I have never played the games, and I think Michelle Rodriguez is one of the worst actresses in the biz. I also did not find Milla Jovovich as attractive as most horror reviewers thought. Zombie movies aren't my favorite, and all this future stuff makes me sick. Haven't we had enough of the future? My god it's 2002, let's worry about 2002, not 2234. And why can't one director have the guts to change the way we see the future. Every one's god damn future is exactly the same! Shinny walls, computers with brains, stupid people, etc. But that's a whole different subject so back to Resident Evil.
I sat and watched, not interested in the whole long explanation of what was happening on the earth at this time. I found myself asking questions like "I wonder how much Panic Room will make this weekend," and "I gotta buy The Book of the Dead DVD fast!" Which is strange since the man only talked for about 45 seconds. When he shut the hell up, I cleared my mind, and watched. I thought, "Oh my god, a camera with a brain," but I got myself fully focused when the dumb ass in the elevator got crushed. Now that's what I was looking for in this film. After all the action with the releasing of the virus, Milla Jovovich's character is introduced in this long drawn out scene. How the hell long does it take this girl to stand up! So far, so... well... decent.
Well I don't want to go on with this play by play commentary so let me get to the goods. My view on Michelle Rodriguez didn't change one bit! Man, what a horrible actress. I also found it strange that this character is not at all like her character from The Fast and the Furious, yet she acts exactly the same in both! Now if that isn't the sign of a versatile actress, I don't know what is! However aside from the horrible dialogue she is given, and her horrible acting I found interest in her character. This fad of ass-kicking, take charge women seems to be continuing, and god damnit I love it!
Milla Jovovich still isn't as attractive as she is made out to be (Well at least not in this film), and still not a very enthusiastic actress. Whenever she does a strenuous punch, or kick she gives off a little tennis player grunt (That little annoying: uh!), rather than an "I'm kicking your ass" scream (AHHHH) that I like from the woman who might soon be kicking my ass. But I'm sure she made her brother proud (For those of you who don't know, Milla has said in more than one interview that the main reason she wanted to play this part was to impress her brother.), kicking those zombies asses.
I also gotta' ask how stupid can these people be. The guy sees this pale thing, limping along, blood dripping out of it's mouth, obviously not human, and he puts his gun up and says, "Stop, I'll shot." And continues saying this and that "I mean it!" that is said in all these types of movies, when it is obvious the character doesn't actually mean it. This zombie pretty much could have taken a bite out of his arm, and he just would have kept saying "Don't move. I'll shot! I mean it!" And the amount of time it took these people to realize these things are not human is incredible! Maybe they were supposed to look and act more human, but they went overboard on the makeup and overacted or whatever, but come on Milla, and Michelle! Your shooting at the thing, and he just stumbles. The thing ain't Superman babe, get a clue!
Now you are all probably thinking, "My god, he hated it!" but I didn't! No, I was actually incredibly surprised at the entertainment factor of the film, and did, for the most part, enjoy it from start to finish. The bad dialogue made me laugh, the bad acting made me smile, and the stupidity of the characters made me yell at the screen. And I had a blast doing all of that. What did I particularly enjoy about the flick? Well for one the zombies. Very pretty, nice and bloody, and they didn't get any extras that were too bad (like the nurse zombie in Dawn of the Dead). The violence was also well done, not overdosing on the gore, and making it almost unwatchable, but putting in just enough to put a HUGE smile on my face when the characters I hated got killed.
And I gotta talk about "The Licker." I loved it! Sure it looked extremely fake, but I thought Anderson did a smart thing by keeping it mostly off camera, and not showcasing his film's bad special effects like many other films do (Brotherhood of the Wolf comes to mind). But I also wish he would have put up a little bit more of a fight. The thing was huge, and he dies pretty quickly, and easily. And how about the highly entertaining death scenes. Woah, those were fun. Like I already mentioned the gore was nice, and that laser sequence was great.
Thumbs up to Paul Anderson for his imaginative, and stylish direction. I know it would not have been the same with a different director (It would have been much worse, or much better). Even though I hated that stupid "Red Queen," the POV shots were nice (But couldn't they have come up with a better name for that thing? I don't know if it was in the game or not, but Red Queen? It's a computer/camera for gods sake! How about "The Computer." Personally I don't want to live in the future if we name our computers "The Red Queen.") The score was also a plus, getting me into the film even more. Very loud, very mean, and very nice. And the ending set up the sequel, and did a damn fine job in the process. I loved it!
Overall, Resident Evil was a surprise. I expected it to suck, and although it TECHNICALLY did, there is no denying I loved it. Highly, highly, highly entertaining, gory, violent, and just all around fun. Check it out if you want fun, and some pretty bad performances. 7/10
Legally Blonde (2001)
"LEGALLY BLONDE is no CLUELESS but I'm sure I'll be recommending this to anyone looking for a fun film."
I had no intentions to see this film when I first saw the trailer. I thought the trailer was terrible, and when the critics reviews came in, and they were mostly positive I couldn't believe it. While at Hollywood Video, I saw this film, and I couldn't resist. I had to see why everyone loved it. I slipped the DVD in, and hesitantly sat down, and watched. Did I like it? Yes. Did I love it? Not exactly. It was a fun, entertaining, and cute film. Very predictable it was, but it did provide me with some laughs, and some solid entertainment.
Reese Witherspoon is this movie. Without her, this film would have been nothing. Her performance here is great, and funny, and her character is a riot! But personally, I think it was Jennifer Coolidge who steals the show. She was hysterical in Best in Show and she's hysterical in Legally Blonde! She made me laugh in literally every scene she was in (The bend and snap scene was laugh-out-loud funny). Selma Blair also does great in this film. She plays the bitch perfectly. Luke Wilson did fine, but something was missing with his performance. What is was, I don't know. The very hott Ali Larter had a little part in here, and I loved her.
The film does have it's flaws. It wasn't always funny (but when it is funny, it's hilarious (I loved the scene with the gay guy in the court room... very funny), and at some points I was getting a little bored. Also, it's just so predictable! You know exactly what is going to happen right before it does. But overall it's a good film. Very funny at times, and very entertaining. It's nice to see a movie that lets me just relax, and not think for a while (The last film I saw before this was CHASING SLEEP which had me thinking the whole way through). LEGALLY BLONDE is no CLUELESS, but I'm sure I'll be recommending this to anyone looking for a fun film.
Legally Blonde: 7/10, B+
Pearl Harbor (2001)
"PEARL HARBOR has a perfect attact scene... but would have benefited from an R rating, and a shorter running time."
Pearl Harbor was easily one of the most anticipated films of the summer.It disappointed most critics, as well as most viewers. And after finally getting to see the film, I can understand why. Before I get to the review, let me just say that I think this film had a little more impact on me because of the events of September 11 (And also that I watched it today, on the day the Pearl Harbor was attacked).
The first hour of Pearl Harbor is terrible, and just so boring (Surprisingly, I think the only thing that kept me watching, was seeing the star of my favorite television show, "Alias," Jennifer Garner). I was laughing at the love story, and I don't think I was supposed to be. It is so underdeveloped, that I didn't care about the relationship between the two characters at all. I mean one second she's sticking needles up his ass, and the next there dancing together, and acting like newlyweds. Did I miss something? Also, the romance is just not romantic, which is also partly due to the fact that the characters aren't developed in the slightest bit. Who cares about a relationship, when you know close to nothing about the characters in love? Another problem with the first hour or so of the film, is that it seemed to attempt to add some comedy to the mix. And the comedy just wasn't funny. I thought that at times, the film seemed more like a parody of war films, than an actual war film.
Throughout the horrid first part, I sat and prayed that the attack scene would come. And when it finally did, I was not disappointed. The scene was perfect. It actually had some emotion in it (Although I don't think I cared for the characters - the scene reminded me that this actually happened, that thousands of people died. And it also reminded me of the thousands who died on September 11. And that got me sad, and upset). I got into the film for the 40 minutes, and I was on the edge of my seat the whole time (However one part of the attack scene seemed to come straight out of Titanic, and that bothered me). I also loved Jon Voight's performance as President FDR - It was right on the money. Was it just me, or did the second part of the film seem like a completely different film - a much, much, much better film. However the ending goes downhill. I didn't feel they gave us enough of the war storyline. The fight scenes seem to end, because something happens to affect the love story, not because the war is over. I think it should have dropped most of the first hour, and used the extra time to expand on the war.
As for the acting, I wasn't impressed. Don't get me wrong, the stars did fine, but nothing extraordinary. Josh Hartnett was my least favorite actor in the film. I didn't think he did the best he could for some reason. Something was missing from his performance. Ben Affleck did fine, but I also thought something was missing from his performance. I did, however, like Kate Beckinsale's performance. Alec Baldwin was annoying in his role. But that is thanks to the cheesy dialogue provided by the script. As I already mentioned Jon Voight was great, and stole the scenes he was in. Cuba Gooding Jr. was decent in his small role (I would have loved to learn more about his character). Now let me take a little time to criticize the laughably bad dialogue. My favorite line came from Ben Affleck, while writing a letter to Evelyn. He said something along the lines of: "It's cold here. But there's one place I know I can go to keep warm. That is to think of you." That line had me laughing the whole night. Does it get any worse than that. Alec Baldwin also had some unintentionally hysterical lines.
Overall Pearl Harbor is a disappointment. It fails as a romance, and fails as a war film. However, the attack scene was fantastic! Like I said before, it was perfect. Had that scene not been so well made, this film would be crap on a stick. I also think the film would have benefited from an R rating, and a shorter running time. Cut out the love story, add some more of the war in the film, and we would have had a great, great war film. I know that I will not be recommending Pearl Harbor to many people.
Pearl Harbor: 5/10
The Others (2001)
"THE OTHERS is a creepy film... that reminded me of an old 40s or 50s ghost story."
The Others is yet another in a long list of great horror movies of the new millennium. I have always loved ghost stories, and this film has easily become my favorite ghost story ever. It's like one of the great old black and white ghost stories but better. It takes you on a slow, and uncomfortable ride.
The story is simple. Grace lives in a mansion with her two children, both allergic to sunlight. That little twist on the story was just great. It makes the film completely opposite than other ghost stories, with Grace not afraid of the dark, and making sure to keep the light out, to save her children. This provides us with a very creepy, and dark atmosphere. Plus the mansion is also a creepy place. Not to mention, that in the film everyone who enters the house, must close the previous door, before opening the next.
Nicole Kidman is perfectly cast in The Others. This may be one of her best performances ever (She was also great in this years Moulin Rouge). She was really very believable in the part. The two kids in this film were also fantastic. Alakina Mann as Anne was terrific. She played the bullying sister great. She and James Bently, who played Nicolas, really seemed like siblings. Awesome job by both. Fionnula Flanagan was also fantastic as Mrs. Mills. She really creeped me out, and I didn't know where she stood. Was she good or bad? I didn't know, but her acting was right on the ball.
Alejandro Anemabar directed The Others with such atmosphere. The dark lighting is creepy, and the cinematography is beautiful. This guy's has got a bright future. To accompany all the atmosphere we get a fabulous score by the director, Alejandro Amenabar. The music is creepy, and really adds to the feel of a 50's ghost story. It also sets the mood of the film, and makes the scary scenes, even scarier. The score is fabulous. Not only did Alejandro Amenabar direct, and score, but he wrote the great, and well-developed screenplay.
The Others is not without a great twist ending, that should shock everyone. I did not see it coming, and it's such an original concept to use in a ghost story. It worked well, and I was speechless after the film. Outstanding finale.
This film is yet another horror film that proves that big budget special effects suck! This film is scary, and it only had a $17m budget. The Others did great at the box office, and deserved every buck it earned. It's a creepy film, that has its very scary moments. This is a film that will not be forgotten. It'll be stuck in my mind for a long time. This really reminded me of an old 40's or 50's film. I highly recommend this film to every fan of ghost stories.
The Others: 10/10, A+
Best in Show (2000)
"BEST IN SHOW is non-stop laughs... the funniest movie in years!"
I LOVED IT! It has to be one of the funniest movies I've ever seen! Parker Posey ("We met at Starbucks. Not at the same Starbucks, but two different Starbucks across the street from each other."), and Fred Willard ("I'd hate to go on a date with the Judge, and have her judge me. That would be no fun!") stole the show! Eugene Levy ("Don't water the plants, they're plastic!") was hysterical! Christopher Guest ("I used to be able to name every nut that there was.") was great as Harland Pepper. He cracked me up! John Michael Higgins ("I knew a guy who had two members on the same body.") was absolutely hilarious! Jennifer Coolidge ("We could talk, or not talk for hours, and still find things to not talk about"), and Jane Lynch ("It all worked for my family, until my mother committed suicide in 81'.") were so funny!
I like to separate this film in into three parts. The first being the introduction of the characters, the parties, and the hotel scenes. This part was HILARIOUS! The opening scene of the movie featuring Parker Posey, and Michael Hitchcock confessing, and apologizing to their dog after seeing them having sex, is unbelievably funny! I couldn't stop laughing! How about the scene in which we meet Sherri Ann Cabot, and Leslie Ward Cabot ("We both like soup, and the outdoors, and snow-peas, and talking, and not talking."). Or the scene where we get to meet gay couple, Stefan Vanderhoof and Scott Donlon ("Get me one of the pepperoni sticks, I just want to hold it."). The scene where we find out about how Cookie, and Gerald meet was funny ("I've got two left feet!" "I thought he was kidding." "Actually, I was born with two left feet!")! The whole first part is hilarious. But nothing like the second.
The second part, is the actual dog show. This is the funniest part because of Fred Willard's much appreciated, clueless commentating (Too many quotes to pick just one!). Parker Posey, and Michael Hitchcock were still hilarious in this part as well,("Of course I've looked under the bed! That's were you look when you loose things!") screaming at each other. and their dog ("Look at me! Don't look at the fatass losers!"). What about John Michael Higgin's character's reaction to Sherri Ann, and Christy Cummings making out! Two many highlights to list out!
The third part is also hilarious! Although it is the least funny of the 3 parts, it is funny! I especially loved Christy, and Sherri Ann's scene, which was just hilarious! This movie was non-stop laughs! Hilarious! The funniest movie in years. As a matter of fact, this movie marks the first time I have watched the same day 4 days in a row (I'm not a big repeat viewer). I laughed harder each time! Go rent it now.
BEST IN SHOW 9.5/10
From Hell (2001)
"FROM HELL is a dark, compelling horror film... that will stay in your mind for days after watching.
I had always been fascinated by the story of Jack the Ripper, but surprisingly this was my first film based on the story. From Hell is an outstanding mystery and a dark, moody film. This is the type of film that sticks in your mind days after seeing it. You'll have the image of old Whitechaple in your head. You'll have the terrific murder scenes stuck in your head, but most of all you'll have the image of Jack the Ripper in your head. From Hell will disturb you. It might scare you, and it might even bore you (action fans will not enjoy this film). From Hell is certainly not for everyone, but it certainly was for me.
Johnny Depp is fantastic. He is one of my favorite actors, and certainly delivers the goods in From Hell. His performance is perfect, and one of his bests yet. Heather Graham also does a fine job in From Hell. I was surprised with her performance. I'll admit, when I heard she was going to be in the film, I was worried. I mean who doesn't get worried when they find out the same actress who was in Austin Powers 2 is going to be in a Jack the Ripper film. But she did surprise me, although I still think she could have done better.
The Hughes brothers direct this film with such style. The use of colors in the film is beautiful, as is the use of lighting. The camera angles are crazy, and the film turns out a beauty. Trevor Jones' score is great (As a matter of fact, I'm listening to it now), and fits the film perfectly. The music is eerie, creepy, and scary. It's flawless.
The murder mystery is also great. It keeps you guessing the whole way through (I was not successful in guessing who Jack was), and when the killer is revealed, it all makes sense. And let me tell you, From Hell is violent! Although not as gory as I expected it to be, it'll still make you cringe (that throat slash!). A lot of the violence takes place off screen, which lets your imagination run wild, and mine did just that(My head was filled with tons of gory images).
A lot of people call From Hell boring. I can see how they think that, but I disagree completely with that. Sure the film is slow moving, but how fast can a murder mystery movie be? I didn't get bored with the film at all... I was completely absorbed in the film. Another problem people found with this film was the love story, which I have to agree with. Had the love story been more developed, the ending would have been much more depressing, as we would have felt for the characters more (This could be what kept the film from an A+ rating).
As I said before From Hell is great. It is my 3rd favorite film of the year, and my second favorite horror film (this year). It's a dark, compelling film, that is NOT FUN! There is no comic relief, it's all horror. Had it been a little more scary, and had the love story been more developed this film would be an A+. I highly recommend fans stay away, because you'll hate it.this film to fans of Jack the Ripper, and horror fans with patience. Action
From Hell: 9.5/10, A