codefool Reviews

Unfrosted (2024)

Exactly what you'd expect from Seinfeld

[6/10 · 12 May 2024]

This is an extremely silly, well researched, and appropriately acted farce about the "origins" of the Pop-Tart. Most of the fun in this are all the Easter-eggs about mass-produced foods which came about in droves during the 1950's-1960's to add "convenience" to meal preparation in American homes. Any child of the 60's will enjoy this for the nostalgic reminder of all the products we were inundated with over the years.

Every word spoken can be heard in the voice of the case of Seinfeld (1989) - and I dare you to do otherwise (unless you have never watched Seinfeld, in which case shame on you,) and all of the jokes are of the rapid-fire setup-payoff style.

It's worth a watch for a light-hearted fun romp through the 1960's.

And laugh, it's funny!

How It Ends (2018)

Nothing much happens, followed by more nothing else much happening.

[1/10 · 31 March 2024]

In short, this movie is a complete waste of time. "Something" has happened in the west (as in California) and communications, power, and everything else is down. A father and his future son-in-law decide to travel from Chicago to Seattle to find his daughter.

So they're going to drive in a Cadillac from Chicago to Seattle. I mean, if you're in a post-apocalyptic situation where gasoline is scarce, why drive the gas guzzler? Seems more like a job for a hybrid - but, hey - this is just the first example of Stupid People Acting Stupidly we're exposed to during the two-hour run time.

Along the way they run into bad actors, ruffians, red-necks, and the like. And run into them again. And again. And again. And people are walking east. And there are fires. And there are wrecked trains full of Army vehicles and equipment.

But no information whatsoever as to what has happened. Nothing.

I found myself fast-forwarding through great swaths of the non-happenings confident I was missing nothing of the non-story. I won't spoil the ending, because if you're brave enough to stick with this to the end, then why deny you the absurdity of it all.

Skip this.

Elsbeth (2024– )

Another lady Columbo - Elsbeth needs better writers.

[11 March 2024]

We were all pleasantly surprised by the fresh take on the Columbo (1971) "reverse mystery" formula with Poker Face (2023), and here we have CBS's attempt at that sub-genre with mixed feelings.

For those unaware, the "reverse mystery" is not a "whodunnit" but a "howcatchem." In this format, the crime is depicted first in full view of the audience. There is no doubt "who did it." The fun them comes when the detective comes in and finds all the "little" things the killer gets wrong, and we get to watch as the "perfect crime" slowly unravels. Peter Falk as Columbo did this to great affect - with his little questions, constant "one more thing" jibes, and the reveal - that point where the killer know's the game is up - is more often than not very satisfying. Not so much here.

Now introduce Elsbeth Tascioni ( Carrie Preston ) who is well-known to those who follow the The Good Wife (2009) franchise. She's a quirky somewhat "neruodiverse" lawyer who has a special point of view of the world, and has a talent for seeing the little things.

Now Elsbeth is "on loan" to monitor the NYPD, and manages to ease her way into leading an investigation into a murdered actress. I have no love of New York or the NYPD, but I do take exception with law enforcement being depicted as out-right incompetent. There's a perfect crime scene, where the killer has covered all the bases to make the murder appear a suicide. Open and shut - where's the donuts. Only Elsbeth comes in and finds three or four completely obvious clues that suggest that the suicide might be murder. Of course, the cops are all bothered and unimpressed by her insights. "Wait in the hall," she's repeatedly told. But she's having none of it, and continues to poke-and-prod and even does a "one more thing" bit.

While I'm overall happy with this show - shot beautifully to make you believe that every day is sunny in New York (it's not) - the writing is extremely weak and it shows. No spoilers here, but - come on - the mystery is so shallow that it almost seems the killer didn't have to work so hard. The "little things" that Elsbeth notices are so obvious and in plain sight, a trained police detective would have to be completely incompetent not to notice them.

This show is almost-but-not-quite family friendly. The violence is subdued, and the killer goes (in classic Columbo fashion) with calm and grace, even asking "where did I slip up?" So, no fist fights, no car chases, no shouting matches. Only disdain for Elsbeth to go "wait in the hall."

I have overall hopes for this show that it will improve. This installment was weaker than the weakest of Columbo episodes. Here's hoping the mysteries can get deeper and the "howcatchem" can be satisfying again.

Mr. Monk's Last Case: A Monk Movie (2023)

Not perfect, but still worth the watch - esp for Monk fans.

[9/10 · 9 December 2023]

The plot is a fairly standard fare for a Monk mystery. The gang comes together for the wedding of Monk's step-daughter (Trudy's daughter) who Monk befriended in the original series finale. There's just a bit of exposition to introduce the uninitiated to who the cast is and their relationship to each other. Then we're off to the races. Every Monk trope is here - the wipes, the phobias, and the cleaning.

The problem is that the story is a standard Monk mystery that's for a one-hour show stretched into a 90-mintue movie. So there is filler - lots and lots of filler - so it drags in places.

Given all that - the "here's what happened" moment is extremely satisfying, and the denouement is the sweetest moment possible. And the post-denouement is even sweeter.

Not saying anything more to avoid spoilers. If you're a Monk fan, this is a must-watch. If you're not, you might want to watch a few Monk episodes first.

Inside (I) (2023)

Who feeds the fish?

[5/10 · 1 October 2023]

"Inside" is one of those "what if?" stories where a situation needs to exist, but in real life it just wouldn't make sense.

The premise is that a would-be art thief breaks into a penthouse apartment/studio - from a helicopter drop no less - and promptly gets trapped inside from a "system malfunction" of the super-over-engineered security system. So our protagonist Nemo (Dafoe) goes about trying to figure out how to get out of this place. The owner is on an extended international business trip, and so has turned off the water, emptied the fridge, but for some reason left the projection art turned on. There is an irrigation system that still waters the plants, but also two aquariums with exotic fish swimming about. So, who feeds the fish? Don't know. And also for some reason, every door that has provisions behind it is heavy-duty and locked.

I mean, poor Nemo just can't catch a break.

So Nemo is in a world of hurt. He sets about various schemes to disassemble the furniture to build a scaffolding in hopes to escape through a skylight. He finds that he needs to remove a glass pane secured in a steel frame by 12 bolts. The evil environment system is on the fritz, and starts heating the penthouse up to 100+ degrees, before chilling it down to 40. He continues to encounter hunger, thirst, and waste management problems.

Eventually he figures out that if he starts a fire then the fire alarm will go off and people will come. He does, and some five inches of water is dumped into the apartment, but no one comes. Sorry, but I can't suspend enough disbelief to accept that.

And I'll leave it at that. The movie is more of avant-garde art piece than a coherent and relatable story. Consume it for that.

Watching this I just kept thinking "if only he'd paid attention in physics class." If you ever find yourself in such a situation, use the furniture to build a scaffolding against the patio window. Suspend one of the large rocks from the inside garden to make a battering ram. Continue to ram the rock against the window until it gives. Even reinforced tempered glass will give eventually.

Snowpiercer (2013)

Absurd premise, with cribbed story and poor execution.

[1/10 · 31 August 2023]

So, the world is in a new super ice age which kills everything, and the only "solution" is to put the survivors of humanity on a perpetually moving train which circles the globe once every year. The caste system is the peasants are in the last car, and the elites are in the front car. There have been several "revolutions" to try and reach the front of the train, but none have succeeded. This struggle to reach the front of the train is the plot.

This is a half-baked idea worthy of M. Night Shyamalan in that a train could perpetually run a high speeds basically forever is absurd on its face - and admitted by the story itself later on. Somehow the tracks remain clear - somehow the train doesn't wear out - somehow this train defies the laws of physics.

The "climax" is taken right out of The Matrix (1999).

I fast-forwarded through much of this movie because it's all been said before. This movie is an insult to the intellect.

Hard pass.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Subspace Rhapsody (2023) Season 2, Episode 9

Okay - that was fun

[8/10 · 5 August 2023]

The way that this episode was hyped I was concerned that this was "Star Trek - The Musical," which is not far from wrong, but the song/dance numbers is the problem-of-the-week for the crew to endure and solve. In this way, the gimmick works and presents a fairly concise character-building story.

Despite the obvious auto-tuning going on (and maybe some voice substitutions?) of the performers, the songs are well written, and not overly syrupy.

The basic premise (no spoilers) is that a space anomaly has superimposed an alternate reality on the enterprise crew which causes them to break into song (and dance) that expresses the characters innermost feelings (like a real musical.) This causes problems, as people start revealing not only inner-most opinions about - well - everything but secret stuff as well. Hence, the syndrome is identified as a security risk and it must be stopped.

In general, this is a light and fun episode that doesn't take itself too seriously, delves deep into various relationships, and we even have singing (rapping?) Klingons. What more could you ask?

In the end this is an experiment that is well done. I'm glad to see the production crew taking risks without insulting the audience.

The only drawback is that - like most musicals - went a little long. The novelty wore off quick and you're watching not for the next musical number, but the finale.

And if you're interested in a real-life "Star Trek - The Musical" just search for it on youtube - it's out there.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Under the Cloak of War (2023) Season 2, Episode 8

Solid episode - interesting ending

[8/10 · 31 July 2023]

"Under the Cloak of War" is by far the strongest writing in SNW thus far. Despite various flaws - the M*A*S*H undertones, hints to the TOS episode "Conscience of the King," the obvious folly of land war in the age of space war, a Klingon with straight human teeth who walks with a cane but can do Klingon Judo just fine - what the episode has to say is what's poignant here.

We learn the history behind Chapel's bond with M'Benga and their apparent super-human abilities exhibited in the season opener "The Broken Circle." It's not pretty.

The story telling here is very good, told in flash-back and tight dialog, with an ending that is both tragic and ambiguous - we will never know the truth.

The only complaint I have (there had to be one) was with the casting (or perhaps directing) of Robert Wisdom as Dak'Rah. He's just too Tony Robbins for a Klingon. His lack of prosthetic teeth was distracting.

Also interesting is the use of the STD "klingons" in the recap, an abhoration thankfully ignored thus far in SNW in favor of the TMP/TNG Klingons. Please please please keep it this way.

All in all a solid episode with above-average writing and competent acting.

Well done.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Those Old Scientists (2023) Season 2, Episode 7

Can't say it's terrible - but it's pretty bad.

[4/10 · 24 July 2023]

This is a SNW cross-over with ST:BD. Some parts are animated and others are live-action. This was "surprise" episode because it dropped on a Sunday rather than the usual Thursday. I came across it by accident and reading the episode synopsis I was set expectations to super-low, and on that front it did not disappoint.

Suffice to say, I do not like Below Decks. I find its Family Guy style of slapstick and non-stop banter incongruent with the Star Trek mythos, and as such, is annoying. As the new season of Below Decks is due to start, this is an obvious effort to spike interest because, as it would seem, the success of SNW exceeds that of Below Decks.

So, we get the City on the Edge of Forever trope, with two members of the Below Decks team going through a time portal to the time of SNW and - interestingly enough - there's the SNW crew there examining the time portal. The animated characters are replaced by their live-action counterparts, but the dialog is the same. That awful awful dialog.

What proceeds is the typical stranger-in-a-strange-land with people from the future walking freely around telling people about the future and then regretting it with many many many words. I don't know who thinks this kind of rattle is suited to a military environment, but ensigns would not just smart-off and cackle on endlessly about segue topics, digs, and general banter in front of the senior staff (including the captain) like girls who've had too many drinks at a bachelorette party. This is also a fault of Pike's for putting up with it. Tighten up the ship, Captain.

All in all this is a disposable episode where nothing of consequence happens and it's better put in the same box as Spock's Brain and forgotten.

Nefarious (2023)

Food for thought

[8/10 · 17 July 2023]

This is a low-budget yet well-acted story of a psychologist attempting to scrutinize the sanity of a death-row inmate, because it is illegal to execute an insane person. The sets are cheap and minimal, and is blocked more for the stage than film, but it works.

Quickly the inmate announces that he is actually a demon named Nefarious inhabiting the body of the inmate who actually "made" his "host" do all the crimes he's been convicted of. The psychologist, being an atheist, is having nothing of it and what ensues is a conversation where Nefarious lays out exactly how demons work in the world and how they guide mankind to their own destruction, all in order to destroy God's creation. Certainly, the state of world today mirrors this.

This is a similar take to CS Lewis' Screwtape Letters where a senior demon - Screwtape - pens a series of letters to a lesser demon on how to corrupt humanity to their will. It examines how demons would use common social issues to bend the will of good society to eventually welcome evil as good.

Worth the watch - whether you believe or not - just to give you something to ponder.

Jack Ryan: Proof of Concept (2023) Season 4, Episode 6

Jack Ryan ends with a THUD

[1/10 · 17 July 2023]

This series has been generally good. Fairly complex Clancy-esque plots with good character development and plot progression without resulting to cliche. One of the strengths of the show is that it doesn't go partisan in its politics.

This final season, however, was apparently rushed and phoned-in by the CIA itself because it violates all of the principles that made Jack Ryan good. I say the CIA because this story is pure partisan politics.

We have the woman POC who is the acting-director of the CIA and - predictably - all of the left states are for her but all of the right states - particularly Texas - is against her. This isn't played up too much except for the "climax" of the finale where the senator from Texas is the key, if not the cause, of all corruption on the hill. Wow, didn't see that coming.

The writers should do their research, but that would take work. No, it's more important to push an agenda than to write a good story. Haven't they learned their lesson yet?

Jack Ryan season 4 is an insult to the franchise and I suggest you skip it - I wish I had.

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)

THIS is how you make an action movie

[10/10 · 16 July 2023]

First off, being a data scientist, I call BS on the basic premise, but if you suspend disbelief this move is one helluva ride.

Seriously, this movie is a roller coaster. Lots of actual ORIGINAL action sequences, mixed with well-placed humor, linked together by brief scenes of exposition and planning (so you can catch your breath,) and off you go again.

For lovers of the original series, all the tropes are here. For lovers of comedic action, there's a scene involving a piano which is pure gold. Another involves a famous Roman land-mark which I wondered how they were able to film it without damaging said landmark - and in the end credits there's a disclaimer akin to "No, we didn't actually harm ...this landmark..." To the very end, fun, fun FUN!

Aside from all the fantastic gymnastics of the actors, it never feels forced or fake. You never say "Oh, come ON!" It's more like "Oh, and now they're on fire! What will come next?"

Pure movie fun. And lots and lots of popcorn-munching action. You will be entertained. Highly recommended!

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Among the Lotus Eaters (2023) Season 2, Episode 4

There wants to be a story here

[6/10 · 7 July 2023]

While the quality of SNW is generally above par for the rest of the Paramount/Kurtzman Trek offerings, the writing has generally been strong. This installment, however, needed to bake quite a bit longer.

The story has an interesting premise - no spoilers here - but it fails to develop to any degree of feasibility. But you can see that the writers are really trying to write something good, but they need a bit more practice to make it gel. Seriously - there's interpersonal relationships, regret, growth, change, and redemption, and some very very good acting going on.

But the logic of the situation is untenable - although they do try - it just couldn't unfold the way it's depicted.

At it's core this is an Ortegas story - as she is the one who introduces the main story through her personal log entry, and she's excited that she's getting to go on an away team mission - something she's never been able to do. But, there's a problem - the planet has a dense debris field that only she can navigate the Enterprise through and prevent disaster - so she must remain behind after all. The other story involves the Pike returning to Rigel VII to investigate and remove apparent Federation cultural contamination committed when Pike was first there five years earlier (and detailed somewhat in the TOS first pilot "The Cage.") When on Rigel VII the landing party undergoes some strife that is also afflicting the Enterprise crew. We see Ortegas suffer through personal trauma where she must overcome and rise to the occasion, and quite literally save the day. This does not rise to the level of a Mary Sue - but it is a local maximum.

So, all the elements of a good story are here, and the writers are trying hard but can't assemble the pieces together properly to make it great.

I'm continuing to find the Ortegas character grating if not outright annoying. I do not like her attitude, quips, or appearance - which in this episode is on full display. The writers either need to calm her down or give some explanation for why command tolerates her obvious and frequent insubordination. She lacks the restrained charm of a Chloe O'Brian - so some character development (as opposed to revelation) would help. If we understood why she acts the way she does, the we might build empathy for the character - but as it is she's just annoying.

It would also help greatly if the writer's took a science class (or two) to understand how space works, because right now it's apparent they have no clue. It spoils the buzz when the story is going well and then they fumble the science.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Ad Astra Per Aspera (2023) Season 2, Episode 2

Rough start, but third act is worth it.

[9/10 · 23 June 2023]

The writing of SNW is iffy at best - the writers often use the wrong terms (e.g. "SQL injection attack" in the 23rd century?! - ah, no) and often annoying (e.g. "You gonna do your thing?" - ah, no) and this episode starts with some clunky writing in the first act. The setup is cringe - you just know it's going to devolve into some SJW rant and you're just waiting for it. The second act eases everyone into the third act which is absolute gold.

Mount is acting more like a captain, although his crew still treats him as a "buddy" - that needs to end. Peck is putting a reverent spin on Spock and he's getting some poignant things to say. I have to say I'm pleased they haven't given him the "but I'm half-human" diatribe that Nimoy had to suffer through so many times. The rest of the cast is getting comfortable in their skins and their characters are rounding out as they become a true ensemble cast.

There are plenty of member berries without being pointing out. The courtroom is an updated version of that from the TOS episode "Court Martial," but updated. The show runners at SNW have learned that the fans - those hard-core fans - don't mind the elements being updated from the plywood-and-paint sets of the 1960's just so long as it's not re-imagined. Very well done.

The first act aside, this is by far the best episode of the series thus far. The final twist is inspired - and the defense lawyer - played with panache by Yetide Beadaki - shows amazing restraint. A lesser director would go for a delivery akin to "Inherit the Wind," but here it's delivered with calm, confidence, and compassion. Pithy and meaningful dialog. Swelling and impacting score. Excellent camera work.

The highest praise I can give a media work is that I am glad I watched it - that it was worth my time. This one is.

Extremely well done. Keep it up.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

A fine romp - but non-D&D players will miss most of it

[7/10 · 1 June 2023]

Saw this finally when it showed up for free on streaming. The script is so-so and the plot is cliche, but the real fun is that this is a fairly accurate depiction of Dungeon and Dragons RPG play. When playing D&D, the point is to use the tools at hand (weapons, spells, etc.) under framework of the Rules and the whim of the Dungeon Master (DM) and dice rills (random numbers) to challenge the players in the most imaginative ways possible. This often includes puzzles, mazes, long extended quests, interacting with non-player characters (NPC) which - by-and-large - are expendable in the overall story the DM is trying to tell. So, situations where you have huge uninhabited (except by baddies) underground cities suspended by chains over molten lava, or dynamic mazes constructed of rapidly elevating columns, or reviving a long-dead corpse to ask exactly five questions is the norm. This is the fun of D&D and it is captured here perfectly. I fear that audiences that haven't experienced the joy of this will be lost on how ludicrous the whole thing appears, and that's the pity.

As for the story as a whole, it's so-so, but there's a fairly good hero's dilemma at the end, so it ends on a happy note.

Third Person (2013)

A solid, well-acted, well-written exercise in dealing with grief.

[8/10 · 27 March 2023]

No spoilers.

This movie consists of four story lines where every character is "connected" to at least one other character. There is a common characteristic to each story - a parent cannot be with their child. Either the child is being legally withheld, held captive, or deceased.

The hub of it all is Neeson's character The Writer, who lives in a Paris hotel trying to finish a new novel which he hopes will rekindle his prosperity.

The people all have to deal with the Specter that will not be denied: their child is apart from them and they miss them. It tears at their soul. In some cases it's impossible, and in others it takes extremes to resolve, but it all takes courage and grief and crying and frustration and persistence and above all LOVE to defeat grief.

And while dealing with this, it's not a depressing film. It's shot in bright colors, in bright areas with art and beauty and people and places and so the message is communicated through the performances and the score.

Such a wonderful film; beautifully shot, amazingly scored, craftily written, perfectly cast, and wonderfully acted.

Mila Kunis has my vote for best performance.

Reasonable Doubt (2014)

If you're digging yourself a hole, stop digging.

[4/10 · 11 March 2023]

The first third of the story is pretty good - and then there's a great twist which should have driven the rest of the story if it were done correctly.

What we have here, though, is a textbook exercise of building tension through stupid people acting stupidly. That is, every decision the protagonist makes is the wrong one, better alternatives exist at every turn, which leads to a worse situation and the next stupid decision.

And the final insult is that with all the bad decisions there are no real consequences.

None of the supporting characters act realistically, either. The cops jump to obvious conclusions, the lawyers make absurd arguments, the judge ignores everything wrong going on.

The only saving grace is the performance of Mr. Jackson - who confidently strolls (literally) through the whole movie, making life worse for the protagonist, and worse, and worse, and worse.

So, this is not a suspenseful movie - it's a frustrating one.

Worth a watch for the life lesson.

Poker Face (2023– )

Fantastic 'Columbo' Fun

[9/10 · 16 February 2023]

That's right - what we have here is the Columbo formula with a female lead, assuming all of his famous quirks and manorisms - from the "one more thing" prods to smoking cigars, Natasha Lyonne delivers "mystery" solving fun as the gravel voiced Charlie Cale. Even the font used for the credits is the same as The NBC Mystery Movie (1971).

This is a small twist on the reverse-detective story made famous first by Frederick Knott in Dial M for Murder (1954) and later by Columbo (1971), where the full crime is revealed to the audience up front, and the fun to the audience is watching the sleuth figure it out by discovering all the little details the killers get wrong, and watching the killers squirm.

The twist here is that once the crime is revealed, in typical Rian Johnson fashion, time is backed-up and Charlie Cale's involvement in the setting is revealed. She doesn't witness the crime, but is in orbits of all the characters when the crime is committed. She then uses her "I can tell when they're lying" power to determine who the guilty persons are, and is used to great affect.

This is great fun, and I hope it runs for a long, long time.

The Last of Us: When You're Lost in the Darkness (2023) Season 1, Episode 1

Fantastic start!

[9/10 · 16 January 2023]

I've never played the video game - but often heard that the best part of it was the story, and that many hoped they would make a movie of it. Well, here it is and it's spectacular.

After many awful offerings by video game adaptations, this is something completely different. Real characters, real struggles, real stakes, and relatable situations.

The story doesn't lean on the monster battles of a video game trope. It's more about the characters trying to survive against the monster onslaught, politics, and genuine solutions to post-apocalyptic problems. The monsters for their part (at least in this first installment) are in the background, if noticed at all.

Think of it as a The Walking Dead - but done better.

Well done. Keep it up.

House of Darkness (2022)

Night Gallery episode fluffed out to 89 minutes

[1/10 · 14 January 2023]

You've seen this before - a hundred times before - and there's nothing new here to see. This film has so much boring, worthless filler that it's embarrassing to think that an entire production was dedicated to it. For example, the antagonist leaves the room for 10 whole minutes to make drinks while the protagonist has a one-sided phone call. 10 minutes. And it adds nothing to the story. Nothing at all happens until the 70 minute mark where the event you knew was coming finally happens, and the story resolves exactly as expected.

Sorry to see Justin Long in such a shallow and boring role - he's capable of much better. Heck, a high-school drama team is capable of better things than this.

Avoid avoid avoid.

God Forbid (2022)

Not worth the watch.

[1/10 · 5 November 2022]

Gave up about 20 minutes in. This is a very lazy production, where they have about 20 minutes of actual information to convey, and they pad it out to a running time of 2 hours with just nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

It truly is a waste of time. The Falwell family was and is a band of charlatans who bilk Christian believers for money. That's been well established. No need for another "documentary" on that subject.

But this seems to be more interested in tying Trump to the stink of Falwell, which has been done to death. So tired of this shameless shilling of the left in popular media. Why not make something journalistic and keep politics out of it? I know - how about a "documentary" that shows all the times Biden has groped young girls? Oh, right, that wouldn't carry the "correct" message.

Inheritance (I) (2020)

So ... many ... plot ... holes ... so ... MANY!

[3/10 · 2 October 2022]

This could have been a good movie - all the elements are there. But the writer needs to take a few more classes and read a few more books about writing.

Plot armor only goes so far. Supposedly intelligent and accomplished people acting stupidly over and over and over again does not a sympathetic protagonist make.

The low budget is achingly apparent - from the "hatch in the woods" which is too small for a person above 2-feet tall to descent without bumping their head, to the "company jet" which is far beneath the apparent means of the affluent family empire, to said jet firing up its engines when the hanger doors are not open far enough for it to safely exit.

The only real plus is Simon Pegg who pulls off a very authentic northeastern American accent so well, it takes you a while to figure out it's Simon Pegg. Everyone else phones it in.

This movie is a train wreck and that's its only appeal. Every minute this movie is screaming "THIS IS DUMB! STOP WATCHING!" but you continue hoping that the inevitable "twist" at the end was somehow worth it.

It isn't.

Reboot: New Girl (2022) Season 1, Episode 2

The best thing I've seen since Arrested Development

[9/10 · 22 September 2022]

It's confusing to talk about this show because it's a show about making a show, so I'll refer to the show itself as the "outer" show, and the show they're producing as the "inner" show.

This second episode of Reboot was a total delight. The writing is so complex and tight, that most everything - every line, every scene, every expression - has meaning.

In this episode, we see the cast produce the first episode and go through the entire process: table read, rehearsals, revisions, and filming with a live audience. The main story revolves around "the last scene" where one character has "the moment" with his estranged adult daughter. It get written, and re-written, and ideas go back and forth between the show runner and her father (the producer) about what the last scene should be and if it should include popcorn. As the showrunner arrives to the live shoot, she is handed "red pages" (a revision) to the last scene by her father, and we, as the audience, get to see it acted out and it is perfect. That is, I applauded it was so perfect.

And then the "outer" show ends, and it's last scene includes lots and lots of popcorn.

Everything has meaning, whether it applies to the "inner" show or the "outer" show.

Reboot: Step Right Up (2022) Season 1, Episode 1

I like this

[8/10 · 21 September 2022]

The cast of a 2002 sitcom is "rebooted" in 2022 with the original cast who all have taken different trajectories with their lives and careers once the show was cancelled. They all jump at the chance to return to their one success in life and are going to make it work - both on and off screen - if it kills them.

Quite rare these days to get a sitcom that has legs, and Reboot has all the elements:

* Superbly cast. Established and new-ish comedic actors doing what they do best.

* Sharply written. No cheap gags here, but plenty of raging against the cheap gag.

* Short form - 30-minute episodes force punchy, rapid-fire dialog. There is no "hang time" or filler here.

Reboot is a social commentary on how Hollywood is creatively bankrupt such that it can only revisit what was done before, how clueless, narcissistic, and greedy Hollywood executives are, and how talent is discarded by Hollywood once they are no longer of use.

Finally, Hollywood is taking its own to task.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

She-Elf and Her Brother's Dirk(tm)

[3/10 · 2 September 2022]

Going in and knowing that this show has nothing to do with Tolkien and his genius, I approached this show as I would any other fantasy epic. This is a story that takes place in a world "like" Middle-Earth (like Willow) with characters "like" those in LOTR. So, rather than sitting with seething hate at the abomination before me, I just relaxed and took it for what it is.

The only way I can come to terms with the amount of money reportedly sunk into this production is that it was must have been an accounting scheme to funnel money to third parties, because sure as $#!7 it wasn't spent on this anything to do with this show.

All of the actors are unknown, so they're cheap to get. The writing is sophomoric and "tries" to sound lyrical and fails. The SFX are laughable (example is in the final scene of the first episodes as the elves are approaching Linden, the clouds part to show the glory of the Elvish homeland and it looks like something out of Monty Python.)

But the biggest failure of this is hands-down the casting. I don't know why they cast the people that they did, especially considering the thousands of aspiring actors in the world you would think they could find some that could emote. Every character in every scene - with the sole exception of the child actors - deliver their lines stone-faced and deadpan. Because of this, I didn't care about any of these characters, or what they "say" they care about, or wanting to see them achieve their goals.

The core story is that of Galadriel, whose brother was killed (off screen) by the armies of Morgoth. As he is laid out on his funeral pyre, Galadriel takes his dirk (I say dirk because it's a blade shorter than a short sword, yet bigger than a dagger. It's interesting that such a hero was laid out with such a small blade rather than a full long sword, but it's a plot device.) The story is told pretty much from her POV, and it is now her mission to find and kill every member of Morgoth, his army, and his grand sorcerer Sauron. She intends to do this with a small band of elves across centuries.

Galadriel is nothing short of a Mary Sue. Although, as an Elf, she is immortal and has remarkable abilities, she still stands above all the male elves. In the first scene of any action, the band is attacked by a Snow Troll who tosses the male elves around and they don't even try to defend themselves, and then She-Elf runs in, leaps into the air and with three swift strikes of her sword fells the Troll, who, when it raises its dying head delivers the death blow with Her Brother's Dirk(tm). At this point, the male elves say they've had enough, and want to go home, and lay down their swords.

They return to a heroes welcome in Elf Land, but She-Elf says there's still a danger but the male elves don't believe her. As her reward they are sending her and her band home to the Elf Homeland across the sea but she doesn't want to go but goes anyway because the King has said so. The elves travel across the sea standing in a boat the entire trip. As they approach the Elf Homeland maids remove their armor, and she reluctantly surrenders Her Brother's Dirk(tm) because apparently weapons of war are not allowed in Elf Homeland. The clouds part (comically, as previously stated) and they're going into the bright light, and just as it's her turn, She-Elf grabs Her Brother's Dirk(tm) and leaps off the boat into the sea. The boat disappears into the light and the clouds shut. So I guess She-Elf has enough plot armor to swim back across the sea?

Through this entire episode I could understand what the director, writers, and actors were trying to communicate but they failed. I didn't feel for their struggle. I didn't care for them at all.

It fails as a Tolkien adaptation, it fails as a stand-alone fantasy epic, and it fails to connect with the audience.

I doubt it will get any better.