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GeneralGore
Reviews
Meet the Spartans (2008)
Waste of money
This parody of 300 isn't worth paying to see. Even if it was free, I wouldn't recommend watching it.
I was glad that the movie was barely 90 minutes long as I couldn't stand to watch it for much longer. I would have walked out of the movie had it not been for my friend watching it with me.
The movie itself is full scenes loosely strung together, unfunny dialog, and editing that makes me wonder if Windows Movie Maker was used. Just from the opening scene there was a vomit joke (with magic vomit that disappeared the second the angle changed) and lip syncing that made a Brittany Spears concert look impressive.
Also included in the movie was Carmen Electra, the walking eye candy for their 13 year old boy target demographic. Most of the scenes she was in involved the camera focusing on her breasts or her walking around in revealing clothing.
After going to battle there was little direction to the movie, and they seemed to just wander around trying to make as many references to pop culture with as little humor as possible.
The remainder of the "jokes" involved either product placement or homosexuality. The product placement became so frequent throughout the movie that I began to wonder if they were even making fun of it anymore.
Most of these attempts at comedy were poorly received by the audience, save a few children who also had to scream out "eww" whenever the Spartans stood in a provocative position in their revealing clothing.
The movie ended quite abruptly, with all Leonidas and his Spartans killed and the blind incompetent spartan inadvertently running away. It ended with the cast singing "I Will Survive" (for the second time) on an American Idol stage, and finally ending the torment of watching the movie.
Overall, I would not recommend anyone viewing this movie. The whole thing looked like it was quickly filmed and edited the month before it was released and contained barely any humor.
Pimp My Ride (2004)
How did this last for one season?
The format for an episode of Pimp My Ride is always the same so here is the basic rundown of the show- Xzibit visits the home of a person that sent a video showing their old car and asking for it to be pimped. He really doesn't do much other then driving the car and telling bad jokes (and supplying his own annoying laugh to tell you when something he says is funny). The person will usually start screaming and making a fool out of themselves on television until Xzibit drives the car to West Coast Customs.
There, he will leave and does not appear until the end of the show when the person comes back to pick up their car. The West Coast Customs workers will then sit around and discuss what they are going to do to the car. Then they will spend about 30 seconds fast forwarding through the "pimping" and destroying of the car prior to that.
They will usually go over-the-top when "pimping" the car, adding at least 4 TVs per car and other expensive and unneeded items you would not use while in your car. I guess that the car looks better after they are done, but that isn't saying much. They rarely ever do anything to the engine so even though you have car that has a TV in every seat and a stereo system that could cause permanent hearing loss, you are still driving the same old car underneath.
After, the person will come back with Xzibit and they will scream some more until they drive the car home. Then there are about 50 before-after shots of the car in every angle possible.
Overall, they might as well just show some before and after shots of the car for a few minutes and open up some time slots. I would much rather just look at the car after it is done and not waste a half an hour of my time. I would much rather have a car that has a nice paint job and a new engine then a bunch of unnecessary things that make my car the perfect target for a thief.
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (2007)
Moves along too slowly
This might have been an OK show, but it is very slow paced. There are about 6 questions answered per 30 minute episode, and there is a commercial after every question. They try to make a cliffhanger by having a commercial after a contestant has chosen an answer but it doesn't work. It just helps to bore the viewer even more.
The questions range from 1st to 5th grade questions and contestants are college graduates that have great difficulty with these questions. It may not be scripted, but it is really hard not to think that it is. The contestants are just stupid and use all of their 'lifelines' (copy, peek, and save) in the first few questions.
What makes the show even more unbearable is the children. They have five 5th graders (the classmates) and a contestant can choose one kid every two questions. The kids always get the question right and do it quickly while the adult struggles with it.
When Jeff Foxworthy makes a joke they will laugh obnoxiously right on cue, and the camera has to zoom in on their faces to show you how faked the laughs are. If only the jokes were actually funny.
Don't watch this show. It may have sounded like a good concept of a game, but you will be pulling your hair out after sitting through commercial after commercial so you can look at pathetic adults struggle with easy questions.