fallguy_jack Reviews

Broke (I) (2020)

Why so much hate?

[6/10 · 22 May 2020]

This show is definitely not great, not even that good, but to be rated 1 across the board by people that have no taste and watch and love absolute garbage... it defies understanding. Sure it's got a laugh track, so do lots of shows that should be rated one and are yet rated well by these same people. Most of the jokes are predictable - just like every attempted comedy show on now. The difference? Some of these jokes can actually make me crack a smile. There are only two reasons I can see that it engenders so much hate; 1) It makes an unabashed mockery of fake pretentious people. As so many aspire to be like those people these days, it hits far too close to home for them not to lash out. 2) What ever is going on with Pauley's mouth is either worse than before or harder to ignore as she has aged out of her Abbey cuteness.

I hold shows to a higher standard than most, and I give this a solid 5+, which far higher than I'd give most of the popular "comedy" "efforts" produced in the past decade. Honestly, if I smile ONCE, a comedy is a cut above the rest, and this show has pulled several from me over 8 episodes. Am I waiting in anticipation for the next ep? Wow no lol but will I likely get around to watching it? Probably.. I guess, not much out there to choose from

Whitney Cummings: Can I Touch It? (2019 TV Special)

Why was I worried??

[8/10 · 2 September 2019]

I feel stupid for reading a bunch of negative reviews and thinking that maybe Whitney wasn't funny anymore. She's never been world class, but she was always pretty good. Nothing has changed.

Dear IMDB, how many times do I have to ask for a snowflake filter dammit

The Hard Way (2019)

Actually not too bad

[7/10 · 3 August 2019]

Any fan of MJW can easily make allowances for this movie's non-existent budget. Most of the shockingly few plot holes are related to it. There are even not that many illogical action sequences which is nuts. MJW is old and less stretchy, but still very spry for an old guy. Basically if you know anything about fighting that you didn't learn from a video game, you'll be good to waste 1.5hrs on this flick. If you wear super tight pants and need a safe space, feel free to watch regurgitated and remade-to-be overly PC vomit with a big budget, and maybe stop screwing with IMDB ratings. It's has to be manually filtered out by those of us who aren't stupid.

...Hey! IMDB, how about you add a snowflake filter?

Batman: Hush (2019 Video)

A bit better than other recent dc animation

[7/10 · 20 July 2019]

Not quite as stupid as a lot of the Batman cartoons of late, but that's not to say it doesn't have a more than a little eyebrow raising nonsense. I guess that's a step in the right direction? Really this movie is a 6 at best, but I gave it an extra point because recent history has shown that it could have been considerably worse. I was not previously aware of the Hush story arc this was based on. I was not impressed with the third act, though I kept that out of my scoring. I just felt like the stage was set for it to be so much more, but I assume the story was laid out in the comic. It really didn't help that third act also comprised most of the "stupid", which would have definitely NOT been in the comics.

Batman vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2019 Video)

What a relief..

[9/10 · 14 May 2019]

Given the potential of how good a movie like this could be, I was absolutely terrified of what kind of horrible letdown this would be, given the recent trash DC has produced in the animated superhero genre, especially Batman. Thankfully this must have been made by different people.

Seems like this was made to appeal to both older batman/tmnt fans as well as young fans, perhaps as something adults could enjoy with their kids, although there are a couple kills, which seemed out of place for that, but otherwise fit just fine.

Quite silly at times, even a little logic challenged, but never remotely brain donor stupid (like Batman Samurai), and given that cartoons are for kids (right? mostly? lol), it's very easy to look past. Maybe they've lowered the bar so much that this showing seems much better than it is, but hey, everything is relative... I guess - I feel like there's something too zeitgeisty there, oh well

Lastly, a mostly great depiction of Michelangelo, who when done well is awesome.

Drunk Parents (2019)

Not bad at all, don't believe the hate.

[8/10 · 20 April 2019]

This movie has it's funny moments, but more importantly shines a light on the vapid nature of the contemporary middle class and who and what they/we are really aspiring to be. As it pretty much points out the error of these aspirations, it is holding up a mirror to our ugly inner motives. Ugly doesn't like mirrors, so the movie is often met with hostility. The comedy is a 7, but it is only there to ease the much needed slap in the face which is a 9, so i averaged an 8. Decent movie with a good indirect message.

Hanna (2019–2021)

STOP watch the movie first!

[29 March 2019]

This is a watered down tv adaptation, and it tells the story in different and less effective order. Watching this tv show first will make an excellent movie...Less. But if it's too late, there may be a counter. Kinnaman's Erik is only comparable to Bana's technically, as in it's based on the same character. His lack of still has never been so glaring. It was never a secret, though Alerted Carbon might have been an exception, or just superb cover. Bana's Erik comparatively may make up for the foolishly early reveal. Ronan's Hanna is also miles better... and who is going to hold a candle to Blanchett? So i guess if it's too late, there's a silver lining.

Oh i forgot to mention, the combat choreography... night and day. If you know anything about the real thing, the movie is quite impressive for screen work, the show is one long series of raised eyebrows, eye rolls and facepalms.

Whiskey Cavalier (2019)

Dumbest.. uh comedy? Is it supposed to be funny?

[26 February 2019]

There's suspension of disbelief, it's an understandable requirement, but this requires suspension of brain function period. Within the first few minutes, the amount of stupid is literally stupefying. It culminates in the "hero" being distracted by someone proposing to his girlfriend, neither of whom seem to care about the guy that just got run over by a car and is bleeding out in the street five feet away.

Oh I lied, that was not the culmination of anything, the stupidity continues unabated.

Henchmen (2018)

Genuinely entertaining, don't believe the low ratings

[8/10 · 2 January 2019]

A fresh and fairly funny movie with decent animation and actual imagination. Maybe that's why sheeple today can't appreciate it? Because it doesn't fit into the mundane cookie-cutter one way to see everything view that's popular these days and that scares and befuddles them? LOL... I don't know, that's my best guess.

I'm pretty sure if you give it a watch you'll enjoy it or at least not dislike it. I honestly can't imagine how anyone would think this is a bad movie.

Batman Ninja (2018)

What the.. WHAT??

[1/10 · 24 April 2018]

Check your brain at the door. It will not avail you here.

I have no idea what I just watched but I'm pretty sure it cost me dozens of IQ points.

So many things wrong. Amazingly the worst is still the portrayal of Batman as a moron. But hey, that's how they treat us so that's better.. I guess.. right?

I haven't seen anime from the past few years, but if this is what it's degraded to..

I can't even..

I stopped a couple times, wrote a couple reviews.. I should have quit when I was, uh.. less behind..

The Indian Detective (2017)

Don't believe the hate

[8/10 · 21 December 2017]

As someone who isn't much of a Peters fan, I don't know why people are hating on this so much..

Obviously it's not an 8/10 but def 7ish.

The story actually was engaging enough that I'm going to watch the rest of the eps. Full disclosure, the girl that plays the lawyer is SMOKING HOT... and that may have had some sway on my focus ;)

The humor was a relief. I haven't seen his work in a while, and by that I mean standup, because after you've seen one of his sets, you've pretty much seen them all, at least as far as I can remember. There aren't as many obvious jokes as I had feared, and they're not (as) racially focused like his standup material. Hopefully it doesn't degrade to what I expected - if I don't edit this, it didn't!

Mr. Mercedes (2017–2019)

A slow exercise in Uncomfortableness.

[3/10 · 23 October 2017]

The butchery of Stephen King's work was supposed to spare this, at least from what I was told and read. It was sadly not the case. There is no horror, no thrills, it was just uncomfortable for extended periods.

If uncomfortableness is what the director was going for, then well done... I guess. That seems more like a low budget script tactic than a King adaptation, or at least it did before recent times.

Tactic: Make the characters/scenes gross and uncomfortable to look at and then make the scene way, way too long. The same effect could have been achieved with a really slow slide show. The worst part is that there were plenty of actually terrifying things in the story that could have easily been capitalized on - they were plot points for crying out loud! But no, totally glossed over in favor of overly long shots that had already made their points in seconds. But no, sit there for a while and wait.

The cast did a great job, there is no fault in the acting. The director would create multi-car piles on single lane one way streets.

I really had to force myself to get through the second half of the episodes, from 4 in two days to the last 6 over two weeks.

Caveat Emptor.

Get Krack!n (2017–2019)

Definitely worth a shot

[7/10 · 21 October 2017]

I read the reviews here when deciding whether or not to give this a try, and I came to the conclusion that I had to see for myself what was going on. I'm glad I did.

Maybe it's because I went in thinking that it might be horrible that I was so relieved it was the opposite. More or less pretty funny throughout, with moments of genius and rarely, maybe a few jokes per episode that would drag on 20 seconds too long. There are also stupid jokes, which I would normally despise, but I tend to find them funny in this. I guess they're doing them better. I have no idea what the negative reviews are talking about. So if you're worried about perspective, I'm male, I'm straight, and I have fairly high standards for comedy and I'm looking forward to watching the other half of the episodes!

I can only reason two theories about the wildly negative reviews; 1) They are planted to make you want to check for yourself and go in with low expectations, or 2) Some people actually believe what they see on TV is real - a thought which is absolutely terrifying...

Oh I also had to rewind fairly often so I could read the screen captions, because usually when I do it's worth it.

God of War (2017)

What..? No seriously WHAT?

[4/10 · 19 September 2017]

All four stars for only, ONLY introducing Qi Jiguang to people who aren't aware of him. While I'm sure that's most people, this "film" is also a massive disservice to an amazing warrior.

I realize Chinese film is notorious for putting a Chinese favoured twist on events, but this leaves the border of ludicrous far behind. To clarify, I don't mind wire stunts (i recall only one in this), I know what the symbolism is. That kind of ludicrous can't touch this. As if that weren't enough, plot holes and ridiculous logistics (they can't even keep the numbers straight) totally ruined any chance of me liking this movie even a little, I had to force myself to watch it to the end.

To add insult to injury, Sammo is barely in it, which feels like robbery - but maybe he saw what was going on and ran for the hills... I sure would have.

Batman and Harley Quinn (2017)

Some good choked by lots of bad

[4/10 · 25 August 2017]

Kevin Conroy is the definitive Batman. The animated series Dark Deco and animation style is awesome. But that makes it worse.

They took these amazing elements, abandoned in so many other animated Batman films (where they could have made those films so much better) and used them for this garbage. It reminds me of the waste of Conroy and Hamill in The Killing Joke, which was also quite bad. Hmm, every movie since The Killing Joke has been bad as well.

Did Bruce Timm sell his soul to the devil and now the devil is using him to punish us for gleeful giggles? As silly as that sounds... logic doesn't really allow for all but a couple other theories: Timm has mentally broken down and psychologically turned into the Joker and this is his least inspired diabolical plot (Tim Drake hmm)? Lastly, consider that maybe everyone is turning evil and terribly dull as another possibility. Any which way:

For Shame.

Revolt (2017)

Decent Sci-Fi

[8/10 · 4 July 2017]

I'll give it an 8 because if you take the budget into consideration, they did a pretty good job. It's actually impressive how they strategically stretched the budget, and I'm not just talking about filming in Africa, though that saved plenty of money, looking apocalyptic without much staging.

The Story is fine, nothing ground-breaking. The message is simple and repeated a few times in slogan form for our benefit in case we missed it.

There is one minor technical but highly visible plot hole around the end, and they know it - they show that they know it. It's likely they just *couldn't* do it right, but it's really not a big deal. Come to think of it, this movie has fewer holes than most amazingly.

I'd say it's a good ScyFy channel movie + , so if you're OK with that then you're OK with this.

Bongwater (1998)

Why did u people make me watch this?

[3/10 · 20 April 2017]

I don't have a high bar for stoner movies, I tend to like most of them for the usual reasons. I came upon this in a 4/20 list from the main page of this site and as i hadn't seen it(or don't remember), I read the load of positive reviews and thought "awesome, a good stoner movie I haven't seen!". You all lied. Shame on you.

This movie was almost terrible. A few amusing/reminiscent moments are all that separates this from total and utter garbage. Jack Black is not an actor I like, yet somehow manages to be the best part of this movie... with his 5 minutes of screen time.

Do yourself a favor and pick a different stoner flick.

You Me Her (2016–2020)

This show is defo better than 6.2

[8/10 · 1 November 2016]

I just binged watched this, putting off two prime nights of my regular favs because this had it's hooks in me before they started. I took to writing this before watching yesterday's ep 2 (s7) of The Walking Dead!

I don't know about most of the other reviews- this show is in no way a 1, nor a 10. But it's certainly engrossing, like a book you can't put down.

It has humour, def some funny moments, but I would not call it a comedy because that's not where it's real strength lies. Nor a romance cuz I find those boring (usually). It's more like; half a study, half art.

As a guy, a show about a "throuple" that realistically(ish) explores that kind of relationship is intriguing because come on, that would be awesome for so many reasons. Don't know if I would want to be married to one of the girls, but this show had me seriously considering how to handle what was (previously) mostly fantasy in my head - and that's it's strength.

Not many shows can make me ponder like this one (not just fantasy but society), especially while being entertaining - and that makes it mighty... even if imperfect.

Cardboard Boxer (2016)

A Great Movie You Probably Won't Watch

[9/10 · 16 September 2016]

A powerful and well acted movie.

Thomas Hayden Church - Who? Was exactly the impression he left on me before this movie, then I looked the movie up here and clicked on his name because his face was familiar... oh ya, The Sandman from that weak spiderman movie and wings. Not really an impressive actor -

Until This.

The average person may not make if far through the movie because it removes them from their "out of sight, out of mind" comfort zone.

When the pathetic kind of people who watch bum fights find out there's more to it than that, they will be less inclined to give it a shot, but they're beyond help anyway.

The few with the constitution to watch this movie will not be disappointed. There's a kind of poetry in that I suppose... Just like this film.

P.S. Remember - Food Banks can do MUCH more with money than you can at a supermarket, they can get produce fresh straight from farmers at waay better prices. Half the crap food donated has to be thrown out anyway, so do everyone involved a favor and donate money to food banks.

Friend Request (2016)

A Random Metaphor for why you need devices with removable batteries.

[14 September 2016]

OK, so not so much, but I'm trying to look for a positive aspect in this movie...

All these new devices with sealed power supplies are terrible, because the best way to stop hackers/spies/hijackers and to a good extent hamper acronym agencies like the NSA is to pull your battery and let any remaining charge dissipate (it's fairly quick).

How well it works against malevolent spirits/demons/witches and other things of questionable extant is... up for research - if you can find any.

It's not really prevalent in the film, but I noticed when she boxed all her electronics, it was all apple gear with sealed in batteries, so easier for malintentioned parties to mess with.

Tbh, I haven't finished watching the movie yet, doin it in bits cuz well.. i got better things to do, it's a pretty weak movie.

In summation, who cares about this movie, care about only buying equipment where you can pull the power supply.. less likely you'll need to smash it ;) but don't rule that out lol!

The Demon Files (2015– )

The scariest thing is he used to be a cop with a gun

[1/10 · 17 November 2015]

I'll admit that I've never seen a ghost show that was good, and credit where credit is due, this show isn't like other ghost shows in it's approach or atmosphere.

But you have to be kidding me that all these people give it 10 stars. Maybe they're part of the show or trying to get out of some tickets in trade. Which brings us to the title of the review;

How on earth did this guy not only get to be an armed cop, but a sergeant at that. They must have been desperate where he worked.

Anyways, it's half jerry springer, half Christian .. something - I don't wanna say propaganda because it's soo lame, I don't know who it's supposed to fool. But apparently this no nonsense show seems to hinge on religious nonsense and silly zero dollar effects.

Conveniently one internet printed standard exorcism fits all, and we even get the benefit of finding out a religion is actually right and that the power of Christ compels demons.

Phew, no more need to think with thingy between ears...

Ghoul (2015)

Actually pretty creepy

[7/10 · 24 June 2015]

So it's not winning any awards, but the extreme difference in reviews is weird. So here's my no spoiler take on it:

Def not a 10, or a 1 either, my 7 i think was pretty accurate, maybe low considering how much they did with no budget (i assume). Too bad I can't throw in a .5 lol. Look into that IMDb!

I don't like found footage type movies, I thought the blair witch project was utter crap.

The acting in this movie is much better, actually I'd go as far as to say the acting was believable, which is rare, especially considering the script has to make them seem like actual people for that. Most of them did great.

They did some other things really well in this movie, including the use of the camera light, which I would normally find annoying, but somehow they made it work.

If you want to watch a half decent horror flick, and god knows there aren't many out there, this isn't a bad way to go. I think I liked it because it combined different kinds of creepiness, and it didn't do it badly.

Maybe I was lucky because I went in not having read or seen anything about the movie, but still didn't expect much never having heard of it.

Speak No Evil (2013)

Well done for 150k!

[8/10 · 20 July 2014]

Totally not what I thought, quality-wise anyway.

I'm trying to review this in a way that won't bias you going in. So don't start with high expectations and it will work out as a better experience.

It's runtime is a bit over an hour, but that's not at all what it feels like.

For a $150,000 budget, I expected a lot less. Maybe the director/writer didn't take any immediate pay. Either way, 8/10 for this product on that budget.

Roze maybe could have used some help with the writing, but it isn't bad, I've seen far worse from plenty of big budget movies.

As far as direction goes, put Christopher Nolan on video instruction manuals and sub in Roze FTW. After watching, imagine what this guy could do with 150 mil... (vid manuals are more than Nolan deserves). I'm going to watch his earlier works, even though according to reviews, it seems that the writing needed more work then too, maybe he got better lol.

John Doe: Vigilante (2014)

Entertaining & Powerful - why is IMDb railroading it?

[8/10 · 6 July 2014]

I liked this movie, read the other positive reviews, which is most of them.

They also have the highest helpful ratios, as in of the people who voted whether a review was helpful or not, my experience with IMDb indicates that one of them would be on the main page.

Yet this is not the case. When I first came to this movie's page, the main review was one of only 2 negative ones out of 7, and 2 of 6 people voted that they found it helpful. So I voted it as not helpful with the other negative review.

Now minutes later (like 2) that review is not on the main page, but the other even more negative review is with a 12 out of 45 helpful rating... (all my numbers are off by 1 as my votes are not counted yet - even though they've already effected change)

There is a 10/10 review with 25 of 38 finding it helpful, there's a 13 of 16 positive review, and a 1 of 1, a 3 of 4...

Clearly something fishy is going on here, are they afraid of a vigilante uprising? Or maybe Bamber punched some Hollywood fatcat(s) in the face instead of granting the sexual favour(s) requested. Maybe both, as Bamber's work get's a disproportionate amount of flak. He's no Hopkins, but he is without a doubt a capable actor at the VERY least.

I wonder if anyone will even see this review... in preview the only spelling mistake highlighted is "fatcat" yet in typing this I show Bamber's name and the Canadian spelling of "favour" underlined squiggly red as well...

Lone Survivor (2013)

Hollywood Ruination

[4/10 · 31 December 2013]

Forget politics or patriotism (whether blind or the real thing). This movie made absolutely no tactical sense whatsoever. I cannot believe that elite seals could make such stupid tactical decisions. It has to be Hollywood's attempted dramatization for effect - which essentially ruins the movie for anyone with half a brain.

Equally nonsensical was the seal 4 man recon team's ability to absorb fire. Seriously, how many 7.62mm rounds can one unarmored human take without bleeding out or at least going into shock if not plain old dying (and where the hell was their armor)? Multiple RPG blasts at 1-2 feet away without so much as ringing ears, much less brain hemorrhaging? Oh and lets not forget that gravity + rocks = bouncy castle injuries.

If you want to see a proper combat movie, go for Black Hawk Down (Eric Bana is 1000x better in that). If you want to see marky mark as a baddass soldier then watch Shooter.

Don't watch this unless you're bored and it's free... and you're drunk... or naturally kinda dumb already.