mgratk Reviews

Troll 2 (1990)

So bad its good BUT...

[8/10 · 29 September 2023]

So bad it's good BUT it could have been great. A rewrite to make it make sense, help the plot to be fleshed out better, and to make the dialog sound like things people would actually say-- that would help immensely. So would getting some people who can actually act. The kid who played Joshua was actually pretty good, but the rest delivered their awkward lines even more awkwardly. Some parts of this were genuinely funny when they were trying to be funny, and unfortunately many parts were funny when they were not meant to be funny. So I gave it an 8. Why?! Well, when it was made it would have deserved a 3, but a 6 in the "so bad it's good category." But today, with the absolute sewage treatment plant fires that Hollywood makes these days, this movie gets a straight up 8. It is legit better in every category but special effects.

Night Court (2023– )

Sad sequel, unfunny

[2/10 · 5 April 2023]

Yow. No way Judge Harry T. Stone would have a daughter who chews up the set & scenery the way this lead does. Yikes! Every single line it's like Abby is really hamming up the punch line of a joke, whether it is a joke or not. And often, unfortunately, it's impossible to know if it's supposed to be a joke or not. The writing is just terrible. There's no heart like in the original show. The fantastic John Larroquette seems mostly bored.

I had a terrible feeling this show would be terrible, but I hoped for the best and watched an episode. I'll just consider it as, say, a nightmare on the part of a happily retired Harry T. Stone, and otherwise ignore the rest of this travesty.

Crawl (I) (2019)

Best comedy in a while

[5/10 · 21 January 2023]

Started out with some promise, but the ridiculousness was so over the top that I was enjoying laughing at it quite a bit. For this reason I gave it a 5-- it was fun. The young protagonist does as well as she can with the thin script and cringe dialogue. The storm, well, as for that, it has high water but certainly lacks the rest of a direct hit from a cat 5 hurricane. It sounded nothing like even a low category 1 hurricane, and the rain and wind made it look like perhaps an at-times severe thunderstorm. It seemed like the only time the wind was loud was when people were trying to yell out to someone else. Sure, maybe they didn't have the effects budget to make it look any more imposing, and that's fine. BUT the sound of the wind was awful. It should sound like it is a howling, almost living beast trying to get in and get you. The interior and crawl space scenes made me think they forgot there was supposed to be a storm. Adequate wind sounds couldn't have been much more expensive, if at all.

Christmas at the Golden Dragon (2022 TV Movie)

High marks for Hallmark

[9/10 · 14 November 2022]

This is a definite 9 in the Hallmark Christmas movie category. Some might categorize this genre as a guilty favorite this time of year. But I just call them a seasonal favorite. I'm a manly guy and I like them and that's that. Not ashamed. Ha. But back to the Golden Dragon. The first line nearly made me shut it off, as it talked about a PC kind of meaning of Christmas that had very little if anything to do with the meaning of Christmas. But as it goes on it draws you in with a pretty big handful of stories about different people tied to the restaurant, and it is a lot of balls in the air, but it manages to juggle them pretty well. There's a lot more going on in this one than the usual gingerbread contest to save the bakery, fake relationship to get the big promotion, or amnesia and love at Christmas type stories. Shock of shocks, there's even a nativity play that is quickly featured among the many stories. Usually you can be wrapping gifts or putting up decorations with a Hallmark movie on and still get the whole story because they've done it a dozen times before. Not this one. Give this one a watch, It's just a pretty darn nice movie-- some love, some family drama, and most of all a Merry Christmas.

Paradox Lost (2021)

Fantastic, quirky fun

[8/10 · 1 October 2022]

I'm always a sucker for a good time travel movie, and this one does not disappoint, as long as you don't try to apply any kind of strict time travel rules on a movie that mostly wants to have fun AND explore the relationships between the characters. It is a really fun ride, true low budget gold, and I'm glad there wasn't 25 million dollars worth of CGI to mess it up and take the focus off of the story of the people. (I often find that low budget movies can be the most rewarding as long as you don't mind missing out on that CGI or 2 dozen exotic locales). The few brief scenes of improv sketch comedy kinda fall flat, but that's OK. The ending of the movie is just fantastic and I totally-- well, no, I'm just gonna leave that right there.

13 Minutes (2021)

Nah. Very little good about this.

[2/10 · 27 September 2022]

This one is a real stinker for the most part. The acting is almost all pretty bad. But then again they don't have much to work with. Perhaps the one line of dialog from the movie that sums up the experience for the actors is this one: driving slowly through the rubble, a character says, "I know how hard this is, but this is our job, this is what we signed up for." Yeah, well, you better watch out what you choose to sign up for in the future. One reviewer said it was Hallmark-quality acting, and I'd say that is an insult to Hallmark movies. It's certainly an insult to everyone else in every way, as well. The first hour focuses on the characters, and we are supposed to get to know them and care about them, I guess. But they're all pretty much unlikeable stereotypes. And there's a lot of ham-handed political messaging too. No matter what side of the issues you fall on, you'll be pretty disgusted. Then finally when the tornado comes, I'd say there is one epic, cinematic shot. A character is standing in the middle of the street, looking at the oncoming, mostly rain-wrapped tornado. But most of the impact of the tornado feels kinda boring, because we don't have an emotional attachment from the hour of buildup that was cringe and boredom instead of character development. Anyway, the movie really had that one single shot going for it. The rest is just really the disdain Hollywood has for anyone in flyover country, whether they be white men or migrant farm workers or pregnant women or whoever. All dumb, unsophisticated caricatures that reveal far more about the makers of this movie than the people it supposedly represents.

Three O'Clock High (1987)

Great 80s movie! Sleeper classic!

[8/10 · 22 September 2022]

See this movie. The basic story is not very original, bully vs normal/nerdyish dude. But it isn't cookie cutter either, and the execution more than makes up for any lack of originality in the basic plot. It also serves as a great 80s time capsule. The wardrobe and hairstyles are pretty much what you'd see in any 80s high school back in the day. It wasn't peak super cool cutting edge only, it was typical everyday student stuff. I also recognized my English grammar textbook. But you don't have to be from the era to love this absolute gem of a teen movie. The lead actor was great, but if someone more famous had been cast in the lead, it would have been a box office smash hit. It just needed some more attention when it was released. Don't miss this one.

Playing It Cool (2014)

Totally average romcom, but actually funny a fewtimes

[4/10 · 13 August 2022]

The average romcom gets 4 stars from me, and this was a solid 4+ because it was funny a few times. This isn't a spoiler because its known from the start and it is in the promotional material, but dude falls for a girl who is in a relationship. So she's a cheater and he wants her anyway. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. But of course he is ok with getting involved with someone who is involved, so he's no better. Two slimeballs. So ultimately what we have is not romantic at all, which is pretty average for romcoms, which is why this gets the average 4 from me.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Who ya gonna call?!

[8/10 · 20 July 2022]

Ghostbusters! This is a fine addition to the first two films. Fun, funny, fan service that was plentiful yet in no way overdone, touching, great performances by the young actors. I saw the original in the theaters all those years ago, and this movie in many ways feels like it could have been made back then, and that's a huge compliment. (Of course modern CGI has advanced a lot, and it shows here.) I gave the original a 10 and Ghostbusters 2 a generous 8, so I've gotta give Afterlife a strong 8.5. Negative reviews seem to have wanted a darker and scarier movie for adults, I guess. (Also probably a lot of the negative reviews are political due to the total failure of the reboot, and they are likely agenda driven).

No Time to Die (2021)

Pretty terrible

[2/10 · 12 June 2022]

Long, boring, racist dumpster fire. Ah, but then a dumpster fire is better conceived and executed. Destroyed all that is the James Bond 007 franchise.

The Batman (2022)

A generous 3

[3/10 · 24 April 2022]

Pattison is not bad at all as Batman. Not great, but perfectly serviceable, no complaints. However, as Bruce Wayne he completely misses the mark. Fortunately there is little Bruce in the movie. Gotham City is dark and gritty mood-wise, as it should be. But it is also literally dark. And did I say dark, and dark? Even a crime scene with investigators pouring over it is not lit up. Somehow even a large fireball during a car chase seems dark. The batmobile looked pretty cool, I think, but we never really got a great look at it. I guess I should say the silhouette looked pretty cool. I didn't see this in a theater, and my TV is arguably one of the best made in the past 3 years. Too dark, too shadowed, not visually interesting after a half hour or so.

The detective story was pretty run of the mill, and all of the characters were made out to be more realistic, less comic-book fantastic. Frankly, the detective could have been any detective. The baddies could have been any baddies from a gangster movie and a serial killer movie. I felt like the actors did their best with a pretty uninspired script. The action was not very frequent, and the fight scenes mostly uninspired.

These days I expect lecturing from Hollywood, so I didn't even deduct a point for the overt racism. If I did I'd give this a 2 instead of a 3. As it is, it is a solid three ignoring the hate.

Dexter: New Blood (2021–2022)

Hall does his best

[2/10 · 31 December 2021]

Hall does his best with what he has to work with, but sadly he has very little to work with. The writing is bad. Lazy. Careless. Boring. Dexter is hardly Dexter anymore. There's no depth to him. There's little of the sense of his emotional disconnect from the rest of humanity. And sure, he grew to apparently experience some human-like emotion as the original series wound down, but he was still disturbingly different. That is largely missing in the writing. What there is of it comes from Hall himself. And even if you can bend over backwards to suspend your disbelief with some of the stuff that happens, there's the amnesia the writer's seem to suffer from when some obvious stuff contradicts what they've done previously. And though there is a lot that does not make sense, you can still see everything major that happens coming from a mile away. Some other reviews mentioned the bad CGI and cheap looking production values. That stuff is there but doesn't bother me. I am very forgiving in those areas when low budget projects bring a great story. Alas, far from a great story here. If you miss Dex, an episode of this should be enough to convince you that you're missing nothing.

Don't Look Up (2021)

Funny, skewers EVERYONE

[8/10 · 27 December 2021]

Funny, biting, and skewers just about everyone. Very amusing that some of the reviewers here seem to try to ignore the full message of this movie and selectively make it fit their own ideology, but there are plenty of brutal barbs to go around. I love it, and I love that those who see it as a critique of one "side" miss the point even more. That just adds a little something extra to the movie for me. Yes, some reviewers missed the shots that were aimed right at their self-righteous, ignorant faces. This movie was full of absurd humor, and even some great hilarious details, like a shop window in the background of a shot that had a very funny sign. On the downside, it was indeed somewhat too long, and would have benefitted by cutting about 20-30 minutes. Do stick around for the mid-credits scene for a final laugh.

Michael Buble's Christmas in the City (2021 TV Special)

The Joker sings?

[5/10 · 8 December 2021]

I suspect the head of wardrobe raided the Joker's closet for a purple suit complete with shiny purple shoes, and Buble didn't appreciate being a comic book villain. The performance suffered. He's kinda always annunciated words deliberately and carefully in his songs, but he was way over the top here, with really stilted, over-pronounced, zero-feeling vocals. The guest singers were generally good and the orchestra was great. The low point came as cringe-inducing Jimmy Fallon joined Buble for some strained "humor" and imitations of a few famous singers by the pair. Guess that was the steep price Buble had to pay for getting an NBC special- a terrible promo for the always unfunny and uninteresting Fallon show, which is apparently still on. Who knew?

Also, some kid actors came on to act cute. And they were. That part was shot with a more normal outfit for Buble, who seemed much more at ease. Coincidence? I don't know.

Overall I really don't think Buble wanted to be there, but he was contractually obligated or something. To give Buble credit, he did a great final number, Silent Night. Stick around for that.

Stealing Christmas (2003 TV Movie)

Pleasant surprise! Heart without being sappy.

[9/10 · 6 December 2021]

This is a definite 9 in it's genre. I expected not much at all, but it turns out Danza and Thompson are great, and the supporting cast is as well. I'd rate it a great Christmas movie. I'm sad I didn't catch this when it first came out. I will watch it again next year, I'm sure. (And for me it more than passes my very minimal Christmas movie test. It loses at least a star if it doesn't make some reference to the real meaning of the holiday, the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Usually it's just a religious carol thrown in or a nativity scene in the background that saves a movie. This has a church scene and deals with morality. It's not a Christian movie, so don't worry about that, haha, but it acknowledges the holiday beyond the crass materialism.)

5 More Sleeps 'til Christmas (2021 TV Special)

Overall, it's just sort of there. Meh.

[3/10 · 28 November 2021]

The animation is pretty nice. Not the best, but bright and cheery, though the head style was a little odd but OK, that's a style choice.

I did not by any means expect the heart of "A Christmas Story," nor did I expect the master storyteller narration of Jean Shepherd. But yikes. Jimmy Fallon was downright flat. Awful. He sounded bored and probably was. Plus he's not even an actor. No emotion. Just terrible. Ugh.

The story was an odd choice. An anal retentive Christmas. Yay. And oh, Fallon was the author of the book it is based on. Figures. There really nothing in it to recommend it, nor to advise strongly against it. It's just sort of there, like the bland narration. I guess kids may like it for the fact it is a cartoon.

Freaks (2018)

Outstanding!

[9/10 · 22 November 2021]

I had no expectations coming into this movie, having never heard of it before giving it a try. It is GREAT. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Pure entertainment with a great story. The child actor is just absolutely great. None of the main cast disappoints. Very solid performances. Such a very pleasant surprise, the best movie I've seen on the streaming services in a long time.

Dave Chappelle: The Closer (2021 TV Special)

Outstandingly funny AND socially crucial

[10/10 · 12 October 2021]

DC is at top form here. And I don't agree with all of his views by any means, but that I disagreed with his ideas a moment or two doesn't matter. Because jokes AND conversation. Exchange of ideas is a GOOD thing. And he deserves a medal and a monument for going against the cancel mob. If the cancel mob actually was brave enough to listen to him, they might even be touched by one of his stories. Those who want to cancel him are the ones who NEED to watch this whole special and many more like it if you are lucky enough to find them.

Halloween Party (2019)

Really FUN for what it is

[8/10 · 9 October 2021]

This is a good creepy horror story for what it is. Not too serious. Just a fun movie for October. Sure, save the best horror films for the end of the month. But this one is fine. This is not a spoiler, but it is hugely important. One of the characters runs a nice relaxing hot bath, and proceeds to soak in the tub with the shower curtain INSIDE the tub. What kind of a monster does that?! What kind of director would allow that to be a thing?! That is the real question here and the very real horror of this story.

The Tomorrow War (2021)

Ridiculous plot holes: 6-->3

[3/10 · 2 July 2021]

Can you call them plot holes if the holes are much bigger and more substantial than the threadbare fabric of the movie? Starts off well enough at a 6 or maybe even a 7 in terms of popcorn fight-the-aliens fare. You can suspend your disbelief and not question the tactical errors too much. Fine summer fare so far. But then, however, absolutely all common sense is thrown out the window with the return from the future. Absolutely nothing in the second part follows any kind of logic. This is to the extent that it rips you jarringly from the fantasy of the movie over and over again. Without spoiling anything, I will say there is a simple and clear path to victory over the threat, and absolutely no one acts on it. This would have been better if they threw in another action battle scene or 2 early on, and ended it with the return from the future, with the obvious solution immediately acted upon. But instead you get just a big mess of unnecessary stupidity to finish up the movie. The people who made this just didn't care. There is no other explanation. It wouldn't have been hard to make it make some sense. They just didn't.

Warehouse 13 (2009–2014)

Fun, but deteriorates

[7/10 · 28 June 2021]

Season 1 and 2 are pretty good overall, light sci-fi action/comedy with characters you can care about. Good chemistry too. But as the show goes on, you start to wonder where the highly competent, skilled super agents, Pete and Myka, went. It's like they touched an artifact in season 2 or 3 that started to erode their intelligence and maturity. They devolve into toddlers you wouldn't trust a water gun with, never mind a high powered blaster. In season 4 I was just waiting for it to be over, and wouldn't have finished if I didn't know season 5 was quite short.

Miss Sloane (2016)

Long, but also boring and preachy

[2/10 · 14 May 2021]

I admit I'm pro-2A. This is not the reason for the 2 stars though. The movie, though full of leftist propaganda, ALSO has a citizen with a gun save a life. That's far more fair to 2A than most movies. The biggest problem this movie has is that there's no real good guy to root for. No one is likeable at all, including the main character. I almost wanted to give this a 3, but the supposedly great twist ending just reinforced the pointlessness of this movie and its great waste of time. The characters admitted it in their own words in the last few minutes.

Fortitude (2015–2018)

So Far GREAT

[9/10 · 13 March 2021]

For much of season 1 you don't know quite what to make of it. Where is the mystery going? I've only watched season 1 so far, but loved it. Someone here said Northern Exposure with an X Files vibe. It's a strong vibe at that. Great acting. Great story that keeps you wondering and guessing and keeps you frightened and uneasy in the best possible way.

Alone (V) (2020)

Too long at only 98 minutes, clichés galore, bad choices

[5/10 · 26 January 2021]

Not the worst in its genre. But overall a waste of time. Maybe OK while you play on your tablet or phone. Very good acting but terrible dialog and storyline. The actors did the best they could with less than nothing. Cinematography was very good as well,except perhaps for a long-feeling period where it is too dark for too long. We get it, it is dark at night in the woods. That's nitpicking though. But back to the story. Full of your typical clichés. The baddie is nearly omniscient most of the movie. Early on, I thought he had a tracker on her car, but he must just have the nose of a super-bloodhound. The actions of Jessica made me think of that insurance commercial where instead of getting in the running car to escape, the pursued decide to hide in a garage full of chainsaws. Because it's what you do in a movie, make bad choices. Lots and lots of face-palm choices in this one. Oh, and is she ever LOUD while on the run. Come on lady.

Christmas at Graceland (2018 TV Movie)

Typical Hallmark Christmas

[7/10 · 19 December 2020]

This is an entirely typical Hallmark Christmas movie, with the typical talent level, story line, and characters. There must be a Kellie Pickler hate club out there to really attack her in these reviews the way they have. She's just as OK an actor as anyone else in most Hallmark Christmas movies. I watch a bunch of these every year. They're pleasant, predictable, and cheery. None of the absolute worthless big dollar movies that Hollywood puts out, like cheerless Four Christmases, with Vince Vaughn and and Reese Witherspoon as two self-centered A-holes with no redeeming characteristics who don't learn anything or grow. This movie, on the other hand, has some heart at least. Seems like the bad reviews focus on irrational hate for the lead, or on the real Memphis not typically getting snow in December, and it makes me think these same people must have reviewed the Marvel movies poorly because humans don't really have super powers. Compared to that, a snowy couple weeks in Memphis doesn't require much more suspension of disbelief. If you like Hallmark Christmas movies, you'll be satisfied with this one. It doesn't even have that one character who always hates Christmas until an attractive person helps them to learn to love it.