ge-ranma Reviews

Gentlemen Broncos (2009)

'Broncos is NOT TO BE MISSED for the 5 people who like what it offers

[7/10 · 6 April 2010]

Three other films spring to mind that Broncos reminds me of in the sense that they all bring similar elements; absurdist story structure, over-the-top character-acting, and an unapologetic bevy of immature, toilet-ish, sometimes abstract humor.

What I can't think of is two people other than me that actually enjoy this kind of film a lot. And I'm guessing you can't either. That's why I think these kinds of films do badly. It breaks down like this;

• 10%; people who even knew this was coming out - 5%; of those people saw it - 2.5%; of those people liked it - 90% of everybody else doesn't care - 100% of those people who didn't care would probably hate this worse than could possibly be imagined.

If you disagree and love this film, see box office receipts for, and then watch; Land of the Lost, Freddy Got Fingered, and UHF. Not only are they three excellent movies in a similar vein, but they all bombed beyond oblivion for the same reason.

The Last House on the Left (2009)

Simply put...

[2/10 · 29 March 2009]

Simply put...****ing awful. Almost everything that a good horror film is in my mind has been perfectly contrasted in this 'Last House' remake. First off, honestly, the movie is just downright boring. It starts you out with very little, something mildly grizzly. And then takes way too long, that's the flat and boring story chugging along, to get to anything else entertaining. What probably bothered me the most was how they threw in some really cheap (and poorly portrayed) shock value material to make up for the lack of well plotted suspense. I referred to it as a "mock-devil's rejects moment". And then the gore was so sparingly used, so badly built up to, that when it DID happen, it's let-down factor was roughly 10x more disappointing than socks for your birthday. While Last House wasn't entirely devoid of a single good moment. It was close enough. I can't fathom how it gets 7.1 here. (at time of my review) I give it a 2, and it gives me a dunce cap for wasting $20 to spend an hour and a half trying to stay awake.

Veronica V. (2006)

A good kind of short (that may just inspire YOU to do one)

[5/10 · 19 October 2008]

I liked this. It was everything a good little short should be expected to be. I guess you'd call it horror or dark humor or maybe both. I wouldn't say it's exceptionally well done. With a film about 95% driven by dialog (a long interview spans almost the whole short) and especially one culminating a provocative, bleeding burst of violence at the very end, the dialog could have been a bit more creative/edgy. The violence could have had more. The film could have simply had more guts.

but in the end all the elements were there, they just weren't extremely well used. I think the most important thing here it that this short probably cost next to nothing to make. And yet despite any shortcomings, it functions as a very watchable film. This is another great example of how possible it is to make a film if you want to.

Chillicothe (1999)

Find It, Watch It.

[8/10 · 17 May 2008]

Chillicothe's quality as a good independent film (which can be hard to find) can't be over or under stated. I rented it on a whim and obviously loved it enough to seek it out and watch it at least 5 more times, because it is very good. As a male "aimless, twenty-something" myself, I find it harmonizes a similar tune hit by "Clerks" on the topic of finding a point to lives we lead everyday.

On one hand it is what it is. And that is, not only a low budget film, but a film with a very low budget feel. At times during the film I'm almost un-enjoyably aware that all but maybe one or two actors aren't good, the visuals are pretty bland, and the funny, but semi-lackluster dialog seems to miss an intangible spice. (how it ever got an R rating, I have no clue) And so at some early point in the film you find yourself wondering why you care about these sort of whining losers stuck in their boring lives, burdened by problems far too bland to be entertaining.

On the other hand, Chillicothe turns out to have a surprising amount of great laughs, a great story, and should actually leave you slightly inspired about the topic of striving for meaning and finding direction in the confusion of life. A film has to have a good amount of heart and truth to pull that off, and Chillicothe definitely does.

Factotum (2005)

A good film, just not a good Bukowski interpretation.

[5/10 · 26 December 2007]

First, my only gripes with the film are about authenticity. And they're just because I'm a huge fan of Charles Bukowski. I've never thought of Matt Dillon as a "great" actor. But I thought Dillon's role as Bukowski was just okay. I almost can't quite put my finger on it. He looks a decent bit Like Buk, but his actual performance seems almost too much like a mediocre impression. I don't know. It's just not very natural or convincing or something. I'm not an acting coach. He just didn't click with me as Bukow...*ahem*, Chinaski, anyway.

As a whole the film just didn't capture the feel of the Bukowski novel. It seemed too clean for some reason. The whole film just seemed a lot more tame than the literature. His writing captures this great sense of adventure, danger, and a frequent raw vulgarity. But also, it has a very artful heart to it. The movie missed this entirely, in my opinion.

But believe it or not though, I still think it's a good movie. Outside the actual interpretation of Charles Bukowski's novel, it's still fun watch, with generally good performances, and a phenomenal story to have been based on.

Wiseguys vs. Zombies (2003 Video)

Dogpile 95 in true force

[2/10 · 23 September 2007]

A huge Troma nut since I was a kid, (thanks Dad!) I've grown over the years to better understand and appreciate the purpose that Kaufman & Co. stand for. And as always, I eagerly purchased another statement of antithesis from the rebel provocateurs of avant gore skinema, Troma's "Dogpile 95 Vol. 1". Call it totally crappy. Call it too extreme for the mainstream crowd. Call it anything but stupid. Because this is truly independent cinema at work! Although the double feature's selections are about as "Indie" as you'll likely find. "Wiseguys vs. Zombies", at least in my opinion, really isn't much aside from a statement. With home-brew indie films, I feel the budgetary constraints and lack of resources that come along with the territory should be made up for with a really good story or at least entertaining acting. Unfortunately, WVZ lacks it all.

If you're able to get along with the acting, homemade gore, and home movie quality, there's still not much of a story or funny acting to be found. There are some chuckle-worthy moments in a pretty much watchable film. But overall it just doesn't leave much of a good impression outside of the whole "fight for truly independent cinema" mood set by the release.

I would never recommend it to anyone outside of a good example for what YOU can do at home if you really want to. (Which is pretty well the point.) But as a movie, "Wiseguys vs. Zombies" is just kind of a dud. I hope they had fun making it though.