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Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
Not sure Snyder had a plan going in.
This movie makes no @^#^$% sense. Nothing about it is logical or cohesive. I can't even enjoy it as a dumb action sci-fi movie. It's so poorly written I was angry the entire experience. I haven't even mentioned the 30 or so minutes of slow-motion scenes that made every scene worse.
So, lets start at the beginning... a galaxy-wide war mongering empire that's spanned centuries has no infrastructure in place to provide grain to the military complex? So, to supplement their food stores they visit a backwater planet and demand all their food. Food that, as the village elder stated, is only barely enough to feed the village... a village of less than thousand, at least (I'm being super generous, I'm not even sure there was 100 people).
So, the heroine, after massacring the landing party, goes on a quest to find a former general to help the village.
Along the way they meet Han Solo...er, some bounty hunter who not only agrees to take them to the General, but also other random people who hate the Empire. The reason he agrees...? Just cuz. Ignore the fact that we just watched him turn in a rebel like, 15 seconds beforehand. Maybe longer, we needed an unnecessary bar fight to wake the audience up.
So he takes the dumb farmer and constantly sad looking Kora to meet John Carter, Darth Revan, and Ray Fisher (who was told to act as if he hasn't had a bowel movement in several weeks), then finally, Juba.
But wait, it was a secret plot! Han Solo (Charlie Hunnam) wasn't really helping! He took advantage of Kora and the simple farmer to gather all these wanted criminals in one place and hand them over to the Empire.
I'm not sure why he needed Kora and the farmer, since all these criminals seemingly agreed to talk to a rando stranger and jump on their vessel based on nothing at all. Every conversation was,
"Hey, we hate the empire, do you?"
"yes"
"wanna jump on this spaceship and travel with us, despite knowing nothing about us"
"sure, but first the audience needs a scene to show what my particular skill is, even though I will never need this skill again in this movie"
If these guys were so wanted and were sought after by the Empire (as Charlie states they are all worth SO SO much money), how was it so easy to find them? Hell, John Carter was already chained up on Tatooine. You mean to tell me that was the only way to catch him? Oh, and the General, who the Empire wanted dead 2nd only to Kora, was in a well-known Gladiator Arena. But...spent years hiding from Bounty Hunters? Wut?
Anyway, we gather all these 'heroes' to defend the village and we know absolutely nothing about any of them. Why should I give a darn about any of them when it doesn't appear Snyder cares. We get a brief info-dump exposition from Ed Skrein at the very end, which still ended up sounding like Snyder forgot he didn't write any backstory for anyone and crammed it in during filming.
The climatic fight that every movie delivers? Undone 30 seconds afterwards. Snyder is gonna introduce like 10 more people in the 2nd movie but refuses to move on from this empty vessel that is Admiral Noble (despite Ed Skrein's best efforts, mind you. I think we was the only actor awake for the filming).
This is minor compared to everything else... but... we learn that every single questionable shaped-warping ship in the Empire's fleet has the capability of essentially glassing a planet.
So why not glass the farming planet instead of sending troops in as the trailer for the 2nd movie implies? For the grain? The grain that hasn't been harvested because they are rebelling? That won't be harvested since you plan on killing them all in a hand-to-hand fight anyway? Is it for Kora? The senator demands Kora alive, right? So bomb the fields, starve them out. Tell Kora to surrender or they'll ensure all her little farm friends die from space bombardment.
I dunno, I don't get anyone's motivations. Why is Thanos so obsessed with Kora? There zero explanation. He just is because it was cool that the real Thanos was in Avengers? .
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
So many things wrong with this movie SPOILERS
I don't write reviews. This movie was so poorly executed I feel compelled to.
I'll start with the positives. Batfleck was pretty great. Not thrilled with his willingness to kill (more on this later) but overall, I approve of this big, bulky, ruthless Batman.
Wonder Woman is excellent as well. She's strong, powerful, confident, and can stand toe to toe with Superman and Batman.
The score we extremely well done as well. The mood, setting, and ambiance was fitting.
The bad...
The plotting and narrative is lacking on every level. HEAVY SPOILERS below.
My biggest gripe is the motivation for the "big" fight:
So, Lex blackmails SM to fight Batman by kidnapping Martha. Why doesn't SM just save his mom himself? He can fly around the globe in an eye blink, see through walls, and hear a pin-drop on the bottom of the ocean, why not use the HOUR lex gave him to grab her in the 10 seconds it would take him to locate her? Can he only save Lois? He flew from the North Pole to save her from getting turned into sidewalk mush, but finding him mom? Impossible!? I've seen the argument that Lex was watching - or had people watching. Well they didn't do a good job reporting that he and Batfleck hugged it out and left separately, both very much alive.
Why did Batman go save Martha when SM could've done it in a split second without risking her life in the process? It apparently wasn't right away either since he had time to change Batsuits.
Batman Hates Superman because of the destruction caused in MoS? Batman is a smart guy, he knows SM didn't cause that. He's witnessed 2 years of SM doing good. Yet Batman wants him dead, because reasons? I can buy he want's to know HOW to stop him (that's legit Batman) and he wants to know SM's true motivations or hidden agendas, but to just outright want him dead? For what? Even that hack Frank Miller gave Batman ample motivation in the books, and still didn't kill him!
This Batman is willing to Kill. Even to kill Superman. But since this is the same universe as Suicide Squad he's apparently still unwilling to kill Joker...?
Lex keeps the most secure and sensitive data in his home in an unguarded - no cameras, no guards, no locks - server room across from his kitchen with a convenient USB cable for easy data extraction?
Lex hates Superman because.. other reasons? What's his motivation? Power? Lex is a corporate icon, his villainy is blue collar with dabbles in black market arms dealing. Something this Superman seems oblivious too. Superman never paid him any mind until he forced him to. Why? To kill Superman? Why? For what? Because he's powerful? Then why did Lex invite OTHER more powerful Aliens to earth? Because reasons? That contradicts this previously surmised motivation. So what?
Congress isn't sure about Superman because a village in Africa got shot up by the same terrorists that kidnapped Lois...what does this have to do with Superman? Does Congress think HE shot those people?
WW comes out of 100 years of isolation because of a picture? She's in isolation, why does she care if someone has a picture of her 100 years ago if she's not a factor now? She just made herself a factor to prevent a picture of her to become a factor of a non factor....??
WW is there to retrieve her photo, but all she does it take the external HD that Batfleck made, so she just took the copy of the photo. So, Lex still has it. Then Batfleck emails it to her, another copy. Basically she went to get her photo back and ended up just making 2 more copies. Next we see her she's just leaving? Mission accomplished?
Doomsday - Splice his origin with Bizarro and kill him after 10 minutes.
Speaking of killing, you waste an iconic story like the Death of Superman by cramming it into the last 10 mins of this movie, and you already spoil the outcome for the non comic minded by queuing his heartbeat and showing his casket vibrate.
How did WW know Lex had a picture of her anyway?
How did Lex connect a 100 year old picture of WW to security footage of a random ATM machine? Jimmy Olsen - Killed off immediately because Snyder thought it'd be fun?
Mercy Graves - Killed by Lex for reasons...?
The Spear - how did Lois know it was needed to stop Doomsgay?
Why did we need another Bruce Wayne origin scene (thank god it was brief)