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Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)
Improvement over "Chapter 1"....not even close.
Let me start out by saying that I love horror movies. Good ones. But in my opinion that's an unfortunate thing because no other movie genre is as plagued by poor quality garbage as the horror genre. The first Insidious movie was not great, but I definitely felt it was above average and deserving of the near-7 rating is has in IMDb. Very few horror films merit a rating of 7 or higher, and that is particularly true in the case of Chapter 2. Apart from some interesting ties they made between events in this film and events in the first film which made this one interesting at times, it was worse than the first one, not better. The acting by some of the characters was B-quality at best. The dialog was cheesy at times. The plot was mostly unoriginal and boring. As for evil spirits and imagery, there was nothing new introduced at all. No red- faced demon. Just the ghost of a serial killer who became one because his mother made him dress like a girl...gee, we've seen that before about a dozen times. Lazy, lazy storytelling. The rating at the time of this writing is a 7.3. I'd give it a 4 and I expect that it will trend down over time and end up at least a full point below Chapter 1, which as a 6.7 at this time.
Silent Hill: Revelation (2012)
A turd.
I liked the first Silent Hill movie a lot, but thought it weakened toward the end. This movie's primary focus was the hokey subject matter the first movie ended on. I don't know how this movie game out of the gate with a near-8 IMDb rating, but I give it a 4 and think it will plummet down to below 6 over the coming weeks. It was horrible. The story and dialog were idiotic. There were 3D gimmick shots (e.g. swords being shoved in your direction) every 3 minutes gratuitously. I fell asleep twice. A big rotten stinking turd of a movie. There were some cool special effects, but the imagery still fell far short of the first movie. How they got anyone in Hollywood with a name to show their faces in this thing is a mystery to me.
American Psycho (2000)
Great, sparked an interest in books by the author...
I really enjoyed the movie, it was very witty. I get that there was a lot of mistaken identity taking place and that everyone was too shallow to really listen to anyone else, but the one thing I don't understand is the apartment scene. Can someone explain that? When he goes into that other guy's apartment and it's for sale and totally scrubbed clean? I didn't get this dialog between Bateman and the real estate lady or why there weren't cops and police tape all over the crime scene...What am I missing there? As far as his lawyer calling him Davis and saying that he had seen the dead man recently in London, that was funny and when the whole thing clicked for me, but I am still wondering what the heck was up with that apartment scene. I know there are comic and surrealism elements of the story, but they mostly made sense in within the context of the plot.
Nochnoy dozor (2004)
Interesting and promising premise, terrible execution.
This movie is beyond bad. The basic story line and potential for a great film are both there, but the acting is terrible, many of the effects remind the viewer of late 80's or early 90's technology, and there are many holes and dead ends (or just weird little diversions that never pay off) in the plot. The DVD packaging has an astonishingly bright review by Quentin Tarantino of the film in which he compares this film to Lord of the Rings. All I can assume is that QT's expectations of the capabilities of Russian filmmakers are so extremely low that the film seemed really good to him in that context, because it really is a huge stinker of a let-down. Either that or he didn't watch it and just signed his name to something someone shoved in his face when he was drunk or stoned. I had high hopes and expectations after seeing a few trailers, but there's literally nothing here to back up the 90 seconds of interesting footage they put together for those. The "gloom" referred to in the movie is a great metaphor for how you're going to feel after wasting 2 hours of your life on this mess.
Desperation (2006)
On par with other King teleplays...
On par with other King teleplays, which unfortunately means it is really awful. As a lifelong King reader who thoroughly enjoyed Desperation and its Bachman-penned companion The Regulators, I knew this was going to suck before I ever saw it. The scary thing is that King's stink-o-rific teleplays are something he's heavily involved with, leading me to suspect that he must like the movies campy and stupid. I've probably been reading his books wrong or something all these years. Wherever I saw something sinister and dark, I was probably supposed to see camp instead. Desperation was the very last book of his (and at the time I read it one of the first books in a long time) to have grabbed my attention. I gave up on movies based on his work a long time ago. The Shining was decent (not the remake), but everything else, incuding the Green Mile, stinks. Kings books have also gone downhill. I think I just outgrew them. The more I try to read King's work, the more I think I should have stopped reading him when I was about 15. I started reading the Dark Tower series when I was in high school, and I was really excited at first. By the time book 4 came out, I was bored to death with the whole thing and couldn't imagine forcing myself to continue reading it.
Silent Hill (2006)
Starts out strong...
...ends with the same tired old BS - and worse. The climactic scene utilizes props that look like something from a bad off-Broadway stage production and actually made me giggle - the hovering hospital bed with the dangling i.v. drips and the pasty thirty-something year old supernatural burn victim. But the story is interesting and starts out very strong with some really great visuals and suspense. The first time "the darkness" comes, ushered by an alarm that sounds like your average small town tornado alert horn, it was pretty intense. I give it a 6 to 6.5 out of 10. Without the really great beginning and the decent story it would be a 4.5 to 5. I was expecting more, but I've said that after almost every horror movie I've ever seen, so there you go.
The Devil's Rain (1975)
Terrible fun.
This is a terrible movie. Terribly fun, that is. The acting and writing are horrible, but it still manages to be unique and a little scary. The way the coven members die is hilarious and gross. I had never heard of this but caught it on AMC as I was heading to bed one night. Had the TiVo grab it and FF'd through it the next day. It's a fun flick, that's about the most I can say for it. Very 70's camp. The kid that stumbles upon "the book" near the end is John Travolta in his frist movie appearance. Too bad he's wearing a hood and has his eyes blacked out, someone might actually recognize him. The high point of this movie is Ernest Borgnine. What a national treasure the man is. He owns this role and plays both the leader of the Satanic cult and "the ram" - a manifestation of lucifer on Earth, and he plays them both to perfection. He looks absolutely insidious in this movie. The eyebrows alone are scary as hell.
Cold Creek Manor (2003)
WTF? ((spoilers - but you shoudn't see this movie anyway so go ahead & read))
SPOILERS....
This movie absolutely sucks...how can a little girl's friggin' teeth be considered circumstantial evidence?! Also, when wimpy Mr. Tilson comes out of the sheriff's office, apparently on high alert the way he was looking around nervously, he somehow still missed the fact that the person he was looking for was sitting in his truck 15 feet away watching him across the narrow street.
The story itself actually had a lot of potential, and Dorff's acting was great, but EVERYTHING else about the movie sucked. Quaid and Stone have never been worse, and the direction was non-existent. So many holes, and all of them could have been fixed in the filming or editing processes. I wouldn't waste $3 to rent this mess again. It's a shame, because like I said, Stephen Dorff is really good in it.
Oh and the score is unbelievably pathetic.
The Ring (2002)
SPOILERS - Plot flaw? Don't read unless you have seen it.
I liked this movie and look forward to seeing the original Japanese version (DVD trilogy for sale on eBay right now cheap...all region encoding) but I have uncovered what I think is a MAJOR plot flaw. Here comes the SPOILER....
The horses all comitted suicide. I assumed it was because Samara didn't like them because they were supposedly keeping her awake in the barn, perhaps. Remember the oft-repeated line, "She doesn't like it in the barn..the horses keep her awake."
Well, HELLO...another oft-repeated (and even illustrated) trait of hers was that SHE NEVER SLEPT. They said this about a dozen times and even showed her staying awake for days on the time-lapsed footage from the camera in her room in the psych hospital.
I would love to be wrong about this but I don't think that I am. Wonder if the much-lauded original contains this same error....
Some very fine moments in this movie that will scare the most jaded of us, but overall I would have to say it definitely does NOT live up to the hype that it is the next "Sixth Sense". There's really no comparison. See it, but keep your expectations on the low side so that you can enjoy the experience.
The Exorcist (1973)
Less than a ten is a flat LIE.
This movie absolutely set the standard for movies attempting to frighten people. There is no close second to this one at all. No rival. To this day, this 20 year old flick stands up to any level of scrutiny. As the standard bearer for scary-ass horror movies it deserves no less than a 10, period. Anyone giving it less than a ten is either a liar or not a fan of the horror genre (nor a competent critic of the genre.) No other movie has ever come close to being as frightening or as innovatively gripping cinematically. I do hope very much that something does topple it someday..we can't possibly have run out of scary ideas, although that's the way it seems. Blair Witch? Yawn.
Funny Bones (1995)
Lee Evans!
This movie leaves a lot to be desired but it still worth watching. It's a strange movie with very interesting and unusual characters, not the least interesting of which was that of Jack Parker, played masterfully by Lee Evans. The role lee played in this movie illustrates what a brilliant and underrated performer/comedian he is. I highly recommend watching this movie, which I only rated 6 out of 10, if for no other reason than to see Lee's brilliance in his role...very funny and ingenius. The rest of the aspects of the film fail to protrude beyond the enormous shadow of his talent.
Office Space (1999)
Uh, yeah..this is a must-see comedy!
This movie must be seen by any and all! It isn't perfect, but has enough uniquely funny scenes to earn it the "must-see" description. If you've ever worked in the cubicle-farm environment of a sterile and inept corporate entity for people that aren't smart enough to know the people that work for them are smarter than they are, you MUST see this movie and I guarantee you will laugh...a lot.
Poltergeist (1982)
One of the best....
One of the best and scariest horror films of all time, without question. I cannot beleive this film has a rating under 8 (as of right now) because it is truly one of the most unique and frightening horror films of all time. If you have not seen it, you simply must and as soon as possible. Very scary. Hopefully you aren't a collector of clown dolls.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Awesome - prompted me to read all three books!
I have put off reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy for many years now, but no longer. This movie, which I understand may have strayed a bit from the novels, was so intense and wonderful, as movies go, that I am going to read the entire trilogy before the second movie comes out. I loved it very much, as did my wife. Stunning visuals and great acting make this a must see, whether you are a Tolkein fan or not!