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jonasstroud
Reviews
Halloween Ends (2022)
Different Than What You're Expecting
Halloween Ends is not the film most fans will expect and that proves to be both a good and bad thing. Yes, Jamie Lee Curtis returns for her "final" showdown with Michael Myers (we'll see what happens a few years down the road when she decides she needs more money and does another one), but the meat of the film has less to do with Laurie and Michael and more to do with angsty 20-something Corey who is falsely accused of killing the child he's babysitting on Halloween night and becomes a town pariah.
Corey joins up with Laurie's granddaughter, Allyson, and the two form a trauma bonded relationship. All is well and good until Corey encounter Michael Myers and the murders start happening again.
There are tons of interesting ideas here, but it's too little too late in the final film of a trilogy to be introducing new lead characters and mythology. It feels like a last ditch effort to give meaning to this lackluster franchise, but the film, isolated from its trilogy, isn't too bad. Performances are some of the strongest in the trilogy, but some cringe-worthy dialogue still appears from time to time.
Pearl (2022)
Colorful and Gory Psychodrama
Despite a few pacing issues here and there, Pearl is a treasure with a brilliant performance from Mia Goth who gives her character tons of nuance. Stylistically, it's radically different than X with much more color and melodrama, but it's a refreshing change of pace from the more traditional slasher-esque tone of that film.
It's still Goth's film through and through and she has the ability to make you feel for this bizarre and eerie woman she's playing. There's an over 5 minute monologue towards the end where Goth commands the screen in one unbroken closeup. If the Academy were more accepting of horror, this moment alone would secure her an Oscar nomination.
Happy Birthday to Me (1981)
So Much Going On
This has to be one of the most convoluted and busy slasher movies I've seen. So many characters and most of them barely have names or personalities. The ending sure won't be considered predictable, but it's a little far-fetched. At least it's well shot and has some creative death scenes.
They/Them (2022)
Who Was this Made For?
I doubt anyone involved with this movie has ever seen a slasher movie before in their life. Poor pacing, too few kills, no suspense, zero scares, and worst of all - no stakes. They go to the trouble of introducing some interesting characters and never decide to throw them into harm's way and shake things up. For a horror film to work, you need to feel like the characters you like are in jeopardy, but they never do that. Waste of a good premise.
Slaughter High (1986)
So Dumb, So Entertaining
Nothing about Slaughter High lines up with anything we'd consider to be reality. High schoolers look like 40 year olds, old schools are equipped with bathtubs that can spew acid, this is supposed to be America but everyone has a vaguely British accent, etc. But it's all part of the campy fun. It's not a film to take serious and it delivers the gore, a few thrills, some laughs, and a bunch of headscratching moments.
All About Evil (2010)
Camp Done Right
All About Evil is a joyous celebration of low budget horror cinema with Natasha Lyonne giving an entertaining go for broke performance as a psychotic, fame-hungry librarian who turns to murder to save a historic cinema. Great effects, a smart and sassy script, and a great lineup of actors.
Halloween (2018)
Poor and Lacking Suspense
Jamie Lee Curtis might be back, but the filmmakers have saddled her with a character that makes no sense and who is so far removed from the girl from the '78 film that it's hard to warm up to her. None of the new characters feel like human beings and are mostly bland and there's not a lick of suspense in the entire film. The film's saving graces are John Carpenter's score and the performance of James Jude Courtney as Michael Myers who captures what made Michael so frightening in the original film. This isn't some 8 foot tall wrestler. He's just a man.
Halloween Kills (2021)
Pathetic Sequel
Michael Myers gets loose from the fire and kills anyone he comes into contact with. There's also a dumb subplot about an escaped mental patient who looks nothing like Myers who the entire town believe is him. Jamie Lee Curtis is bedridden for the entire film. At least John Carpenter's music score was cool.
The Gate (1987)
Spectacular Effects
Clever special effects and an eerie mood set this one out from the pack. There's also a performance from a young and adorable Stephen Dorff. For some the effects might not have aged that well, but they have a certain lo-fi charm that delighted me.
Cutting Class (1989)
Not the best
Even seeing this in its uncut form, there's very little gore and the story isn't interesting enough to be scary, suspenseful, or even very entertaining in a so bad, it's good way. It's cool seeing Brad Pitt in an early role, but he's not given a lot to do and neither are the other actors. There are a few bad attempts at humor that don't completely work, but Roddy McDowell is fun as the weirdo principal.
The Burning (1981)
Summer Slashing
Script-wise, it doesn't do anything better or worse than most of the Friday the 13th sequels but it's directed with style and the Savini effects are showstoppers.
Dolls (1986)
Great Time Waster
Stuart Gordon's Dolls is so tight and compact that you simply blink and it's over before you know it. All the actors appear to be having a great time camping it up and chewing the scenery and the doll effects are very effective and creepy.
Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1981)
Perfectly Sleazy and Melodramatic
The melodrama is thick in this one with Susan Tyrrell giving a performance for the ages as the insane aunt of Jimmy McNichol who goes to some shady places to make sure he never leaves home for college. Twists and turns abound as poor McNichol tries to loosen the grip Tyrrell has on him.
Hell Night (1981)
Scary Linda Blair Slasher
Hell Night is one of the better and classier teenage slasher films that were crowding up cinemas in the early 80s. It has mood, decent acting, some scares, and suspense. The gore hounds won't be too pleased with the lack of red stuff, but you have to admire a film that takes a different approach. It's one of the few Halloween imitators that understood what made that film work so well.
The Funhouse (1981)
Could Have been worse
A much glossier and classier film than most of Tobe Hooper's films that came before it. You can tell this was the first time he was playing with big studio money and the film looks beautiful, but it does lack some of the grit and intensity of his early work. The special makeup effects for the lead monster are terrific.
Popcorn (1991)
Had Fun With It
It's never really scary, but it's an entertaining homage to William Castle-style gimmick cinema and it has a lot of fun sending that stuff up. It's also not much of a gore fest either and can tend to feel a little like a feature length episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark, but if you're in the right mood, that's not a bad thing at all.
Self Defense (1983)
Really liked it
A pretty taut Canadian thriller that shares some similarities with Assault on Precinct 13. It's well shot and the acting isn't too bad either. A nice discovery on Shudder.