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cipri_alex
Reviews
Drive (2011)
under par remake
yes, i know they label it a movie made from a 2005' book.in reality, both the book and the 2011 movie borrow so much from 1978 original(starring Ryan O'Neal, Bruce Dern and Isabelle Adjani)that i wonder if some copyright rules are not broken.the getaway driver theme is very much the same(they even show the same quirk of not using fire arms), the women in trouble is also present and so are the treacherous villains, with minor modifications.leaving aside this hypocrisy of the producers, the other aspects of the 2011 film make it worst than the 1978 original.
First , the casting issues:i would start with the male lead,cause this bothers me the most.i know he's supposed to be "the strong ,silent type" of guy,but he only manages to be pretty ridiculous.i'm no expert in what males should do to appeal "macho" to girls but i just find Gosling's long periods of silence as very boring and highly unattractive.About the female lead choice, i would say only this:uninspired choice.i was unfortunate enough to see her in Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps(a mess of a script,another overrated flop, way below the first one)and let me say she did not improved a bit since then.of course, i may be biased and compare her a lot with Adjani,but still her acting lets a lot to be deserved.
But even a better casting effort from the producers could not save the film.Why am i saying this?The script and the pace is terrible.Some directors tend to believe if u film slow,boring scenes with a lot of close-ups of the male lead is art.granted, it can be , but not when u film an emotionless Gosling for like half of the movie,pondering the situation to the world end and then making some pretty bad decisions and acting accordingly.Also, the minor details are just wrong:the scary-than-a-gun hammer,the corny scorpion jacket( which i bet it's supposed to became a trademark of the character) is just a sign of bad taste, not to mention it magically becomes clean even after a scene with heavy blood spilling.
Verdict: watch the 1978 original.unless your a female(or gay) fan of Gosling and then i can't really do anything
The Dead Want Women (2012)
hmm, where to start?
i had the "privilege" of watching this last night,and boy, how i regret it..my conclusion is simple:on a mental level, u can't do much worse if you're trying to hurt yourself. i don't expect Forrest Gump quality,but common, they should at least make this digestible. not only they had zombies/undead "acting" in this so called movie, but apparently one of them even wrote the script. sure, there is some eye candy here and there,from female nudity, but that just doesn't justify the time you spend watching this.
leave your brain out of the movie theater if u insist watching this-
can't give more than 1/10
Drive Angry (2011)
paid reviews?
how can this pile of "cake" can be in top 5000 is beyond me. only reasonable explanation: paid reviews.i don't even know where to start..the story, the acting, the pace are all off.
just 2 "highlights"(call them spoilers, but trust me, nothing can really "spoil" this , erm... movie once the producers decided to release it): amber heard getting hammered in the face - with killer blows, mind you - by a huge thug and yet in the next scene her face is as fresh as of models on the catwalk.and next one: cage killing countless dudes while he is having sex with a pornstar look-alike , smoking a cigar and holding a whiskey bottle in the other hand.not to forget the mandatory sun-glasses, which he proudly wears indoors.
OK, that sums it up.giving it 1/10, just for amber's eyecandy
Immortals (2011)
and the butchery of ancient Greek mythology continues
and i would be okay with that if they provide a meaningful, convincing story.but it's not the case, not even close. and about acting,i don't even know where to start.mickey rourke is making so much flicks just for the money in last years so seeing his name on the cast list almost guarantees failure.and i mean that in a condescending way, since i admired him in the late 80's. so in the end, you are left with a mediocre action flick who doesn't stand up to its name. and yes, ibelieve producers are paying up some so called reviewers to write rave reviews so they could deceive people to watch this utter crap.
avoid, even 1/10 is too much for this
Thor (2011)
Much of the budget went to paying people to write good reviews on specialty sites like this
yes, i do believe that.because otherwise i refuse to believe we're the same race. i meant the people who gave this more then 2 stars. in a nutshell review, how should i put this elegantly enough? here it is: you bring the word "crap" a great offense associating it with this movie.the scrip is so weak it's not even funny, i find it hard to believe it's supposed to be watchable by general audience.and by that i mean people over 12 years of age. also Hopkins , i truly hope the paycheck was enough to buy yourself a time machine travel to wipe yourself from the cast list when this hits the theaters.yes, sounds corny, but it is in the "spirit" of this so called "movie". as for Natalie portman, this movie proves once again academy awards are almost never going to the people that deserve them.
1/10 because i could not rate it any lower
Knight and Day (2010)
please no more close-ups of Cameron's face!
Yes, it's that bad.The time was NOT kind with her and the "lifestyle" she presumably leads.It's amazing how she looks 10 years older than him when in fact the reality is quite the opposite.I even had to check twice for her age, couldn't believe she's not even 40 and yet her face looks worse than my high school teacher's in her late 50es.It ruined the whole film for me even if there was not much to ruin in the first place. Now to the film itself, there is't really that much to add:plot is kinda boring, the bad guys affiliations/evolutions are predictable and i fail to see the humor it supposed to have(in producers minds ,anyways). Action sequences are forgettable, Cruise tries hard to make us all remember his "mission impossible" series, but that's about it.
1/10 for bad casting choices, poor script and no humor at all
Eat Pray Love (2010)
Avoid.At all costs!
it's that simple, this movie is just an insult for women(more or less intelligent),which i presume is the target audience. for the guys is,well, how should i put it gently, a neverending nightmare of whining,crying, feminist craptalk/attitude, some Italian recipies and goofy love postlude. oh, did i mention selfishness as the main trait of the heroine? in the so called journey she takes to "rediscover" herself, she does nothing more than showing her immense selfish nature fueled by inexplicable feminist outbursts, considering the men around her not only did never abuse her but were(strangely enough)fascinated by her. avoid, time and money are better spent even if watching a "b" minus zombie movie.