JerryLambert Reviews

Long Shot (2019)

High Guy Fantasy

[7/10 · 24 May 2019]

We have seen plenty of maid turned princess movies for teenage girls. This movie is sort of like that, only this one is for 40 year old unkempt stoner dudes.

Charlize Theron is arguably the most attractive forty-something female on the planet. In this story she is also the Secretary of State making a bid at POTUS. Bob 'Saul Goodman' Odenkirk plays the current President. I was thoroughly confused about his background. Was he a TV star turned president who wants to be in movies? Either way, his character was incredibly unbalanced, but that doesn't matter. This whole story is unbalanced and weird.

An unemployed journalist in his late 30's to early 40's, played by Seth Rogen, runs into the Secretary of State at a party featuring Boyz 2 Men as the entertainment and we find out that his old babysitter is none other than the Secretary of State. We learn that an embarrassing encounter involving a tent pole when the journalist was a kid was the last time they had seen each other.

So, yadda yadda yadda, they fall in love and the fact that she is a successful and beautiful woman and he is an unemployed and let's face it, not terribly attractive, man child with political anger and substance abuse issues makes the campaign a little rocky. There is also blackmail involving a specific type of liquid and a beard.

Without giving away spoilers, which is probably impossible, I will say that I laughed out loud several times. The story is ludicrous, and not just because Seth and Charlize fall in love, I guess that could possibly happen, but the comedy is top notch.

One of the things that I appreciated about the story was that it examined how short sighted and one sided Americans have become when it comes to politics. Like love, politics are not supposed to be simple. It also pointed out that relationships between friends, family and loved ones are more important than ones own personal political beliefs.

I give this one a 7 because it is really funny. As dumb and unorganized as the story is, it still manages to be sweet and funny and hilariously raunchy. I think this would have made for a better TV series. Bottom line, don't take it seriously and you will enjoy this movie.

World's Greatest Dad (I) (2009)

Way to go Bobcat

[10/10 · 21 August 2009]

This is one of the best films I have seen in awhile. I have heard complaints that the acting is terrible, the acting wasn't bad at all. The characters were supposed to be very shallow and that shallowness was heavily exaggerated. But when the acting needed to be there it came across at magnum force. I would say that much of the movie has a cartoony feel, maybe that is because the only other work I would compare this film to is South Park. They amplify each characters ego and traits to the point it is cartoonish but it works very well in this film, as well as South Park. It switches back and forth between comedy and drama to the point you don't know what you are watching. Maybe many people didn't appreciate it for this reason. But then there are some weirdos that don't like South Park either. Go figure.

You could look at this film in a few ways, it makes you question things. At first it appears that the Dad is doing the right thing for his Son, then for his students and then for himself. You keep wondering where or if he will draw the line. It also makes you wonder what people will do for attention even if they must be a muse. It makes me wonder how many times something like this has occurred in the real world and how many times we have read or heard about it.

Robin Williams should be proud of this one, Oscar worthy performance. Daryl Sabara is incredible. He has covered quite a bit in his short career but this one should put him in the special class of young actors. I really liked Lorraine Nicholson's character Heather, she pulled off the Goth chick flawlessly. I also enjoyed the little shout out to Simon Pegg when Lance is talking to his neighbor about zombie movies.

Bottom line, many people will not connect with this film because it is very "artsy" and somewhat taboo. But it is a great film. Way to go Bobcat!

Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006)

Magnificent and enigmatic

[10/10 · 27 December 2007]

I absolutely loved the opening scene. The kid has dignity and self respect and respect for others considering what he is about to do. I have personally thought of this scenario before and it had played out exactly this way. I think everyone has played this out in their head at some point. I have lost many friends in this manner and the preparation is the most disturbing part. The phone calls, the arrangements and ,in some cases, cries for help.

But back to the film. This is one of the strangest films I have ever seen. Like I said it had me enthralled from the beginning. The characters in the film are well written and well acted. The story is very artsy but the message is disturbing. It is the equivalent of looking at a Van Gogh painting.

I had figured out the ending about half way through, but that isn't unusual for me and I normally am satisfied when I am right unless there is a very cool twist. There could have been no "cool" twist to this story though. This isn't an emo flick or a glorification film, it truly is a story about love.

I think this film will probably offend some people and many may feel too familiar and detoured. But for most people this film will pull you towards places that you have only wandered alone. It will present to you an evident taboo that you would never discuss at the dinner table. I watched it alone.

In closing, I highly recommend this film. You will either love it or you will hate it. But all great art is perceived that way. I loved it.

Jerry

Things We Lost in the Fire (2007)

You never catch the dragon

[9/10 · 11 December 2007]

This is a film that needs to be seen by those who have lost hope or know someone who has. Even with the A list Hollywood cast, this film strays from the typical glorification and debauchery that is usually associated with this genre. Instead, it takes a close and frighteningly realistic look at addiction, loss and the places that both can take you. The crossroad.

Berry is back in full swing in this one and Del Toro is at his stellar best. Duchovney deserves a supporting Oscar for his role. The characters are real and most importantly the story doesn't fail.

I have been there, in the places where these characters go, on all sides. I have watched, I have wanted and I have been the subject. I have, at some point in my life, been in every one of these characters shoes. This film is as real as a film can get. I actually wondered if Del Toro was actually using in this role, but then I remembered what a great actor he is. He is that convincing.

There were some parts of the direction that I didn't like , maybe it was the editing, maybe it was just a failed attempt at innovation. But the acting and story make up for it ten fold. This film should definitely fall into Best Male Lead (Del Toro) ,Best Female Lead (Berry), Best Supporting Actor (Duchovny) and best Original Screenplay (Loeb) categories at the 2008 Oscars.

If you want to see a "feel good" movie, avoid this one. But, if you want to be enveloped in a dramatic story and see top rate acting, this is the film to see. This is a very adult film with some deep points that many will not understand. It isn't for everyone. It is for you who have lost things in the fire.

The Deaths of Ian Stone (2007)

Not too shabby.

[8/10 · 7 December 2007]

Dark City meets The Matrix meets Jeepers Creepers meets Underworld meets Forrest Gump. I know, what a combo. But I dislike comparing films when we live in a time where every idea has been used in some fashion. But here I will do so anyway.

Without giving spoilers, I can tell you that this film will keep you entertained throughout and the visuals are spectacular and very creepy. It deals with multiple dimensions, which is a favorite subject of mine, and immortality. Part horror, part science fiction and part romance, this film delivers a unique quality not present in any other film I have seen since The Matrix. Not that it is a Matrix like film, or even a Forrest Gump as stated above. But after you watch the film,you will understand that reference. The FX are comparable to Jacobs Ladder and Jeepers Creepers. The ideology is like Dark City and the hero factor is likened to Underworld.

There are a couple of fun twists and an ending that brings the film full circle. While not being the best film of the year, it is a definite must see for horror and science fiction fans. A solid 8 out of 10 for great editing , awesome special effects and above average direction. The leads in the film are reminiscent of Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts. I expect much from Mike Vogel and Christina Cole in future projects. Vogel is actually a lead in the upcoming and much anticipated "Cloverfield" project set for January 2008. This is also Dario Piana's first attempt at mainstream, and he pulls it off well.

So give this film a go, you might like it.

Jerry

Reign Over Me (2007)

Tragic Enlightenment

[10/10 · 1 October 2007]

Most people, especially young people, may not understand this film. It looks like a story of loss, when it is actually a story about being alone. Some people may never feel loneliness at this level.

Cheadles character Johnson reflected the total opposite of Sandlers character Fineman. Where Johnson felt trapped by his blessings, Fineman was trying to forget his life in the same perspective. Jada is a wonderful additive to the cast and Sandler pulls tears. Cheadle had the comic role and was a great supporter for Sandler.

I see Oscars somewhere here. A very fine film. If you have ever lost and felt alone, this film will assure you that you're not alone.

Jerry

Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006)

One of the best Dawgum movin' pitchers ever maid

[10/10 · 10 January 2007]

More boobies than you can shake a stick at and plenty of commode scenes. I bet they had to bring one of them farty cows in for backup. Princess Leah looked great as a boy and I think I went to grade school with that one girl. It's got Cypher from that thar Matrix movin pitcher too.

This pitcher is politicly correct. You got your retards, your asians, your homosexuals and democrats. Oh yeah and the mean guy from Back to the Future.

I highly recommend you'ins watch this here movin pitcher after about a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon to fully enjoy it. I reckon.

Desperation (2006 TV Movie)

Real Time Analysis - No Spoilers

[9/10 · 17 December 2006]

I am writing this review as I watch the film for the first time, I will give no spoilers. This is the DVD version, I'm not sure if it differs from the TV version.

I read this book a few years ago and thought it was one of Kings best novels. As many King fans know, adaptations of his books to film are often disloyal. I am 25 minutes into the film and so far it is playing true to the book. When I was reading the book I had imagined Gary Busey in the role of Steve Ames and Juliette Lewis as Cynthia. I can say that so far Steven Weber is doing as good as Busey could do and Kelly Overton is playing a fine Cynthia. Although I normally create characters in books from my imagination, in the case of King books I always cast from Hollywood. I suppose that is because his books are most likely going to be adapted to film and this is my way of anticipating it. Call me a freak. I can say however that when I read the book, I created the character of Collie straight from my brain-pan. Lo and behold Ron Perlman. He is making this character his own. I had imagined Sam Elliott is the role of Marinville, let's see how Skerritt portrays this dude. I shall watch a little more. Be back shortly. I'm a wolf.

45 minutes in. It is straight from the pages to the screen. Amazing adaptation. Skerritt is pulling off a good Marinville and I just love Annabeth Gish. Weber is this generations Busey and Overton is cute as a button. So far, so good. TAK.

1 hour and 3 minutes in...I think I just...never mind.

1 hour and 12 minutes in. The theater is exactly as I imagined it in my mind while reading the book. I am very impressed. This may be the best adaptation of a book ever.

1 hour 25 minutes in. The acting is very good. The kid playing David stands out the most. Charles Durning should be proud of his performance as well. I didn't realize all of the hints from The Shining.

1 hour and 44 minutes in. The direction is very good for a made for TV film . Mick Garris has done his horror homework. His visual directing outscores his actor direction, so let's be thankful that they cast good actors. The prop department did a fantastic job with the 'Viet Cong Lookout' poster. The kid that plays David, Shane Haboucha, is a good little actor, he reminds me of a young Ben Stiller.

1 hour 52 minutes in. Side note: Good Gore 2 hours 3 minutes in. Very nice looking pit.

2 hour and 10 minutes in. The credits roll.

Summary: This is one of the best, if not the best, crossovers from paper to screen ever. If you have read the book, you must watch this film. If you haven't read the book, I suggest that you do, but you could save yourself some time and watch this film. This is no ordinary made for TV movie. It was well acted and directed. The set dressing and effects were well done too. King should be happy with this adaptation of one of his best works. I am happy with it.

Jerry Lambert

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Just What I Needed

[10/10 · 11 July 2005]

Tonight I was in the mood for a comedy. I thought I could use a laugh or three after the weekend that I have endured. So I decided on a Jim Carrey flick. Carrey never fails to bring joy so I loaded up Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Don't worry if you haven't seen it, no spoilers here.

The first few minutes of the film roll along with perhaps a slight chuckle here and there, not really though. I'm thinking "Great, artsy fartsy." Which normally would be fine, but not tonight, tonight I need a laugh. I was wrong. I needed this. Don't get me wrong, there are some very funny parts. But not haha funny. Dark funny. Funny that makes you realize that you are not the only one who does that, or thinks that way. Funny that when you laugh at it, you feel slightly uncomfortable, but you laugh anyway. Watch it alone the first time.

You will figure out the ending about in the middle, but I think they want you to. It's not about what you know. It's about how it makes you feel. I guess everyone has felt what these characters feel. But everyone, you and the characters as well, have felt them differently. Just about every thing they take away from the characters has been taken away from me in some way, and probably you as well . What they give the characters back, that is what I needed. Even if it is only fantasy, it is still something that I never thought of. Perhaps the next time I find myself in one of those, "I could die happy now" situations, I will try to hold on to it. I won't take it for granted and....forget.

Remember. That is the moral to this story. Remember.

I highly recommend this film.

Jerry

Lolita (1997)

You would have to be a mad man , an artist......

[10/10 · 11 November 2003]

Based on the Nabokov novel and a remake of the Kubrick original, this film is why remakes should be done. Kubricks version was a good attempt, but at the time there was only so much contraversy allowed in a film. Lynn takes this rendition where Kubrick wasn't allowed. This film will make you understand women. Dominique Swains performance was Oscar worthy. Irons portrayal of Humby was very mesmorizing. This is one of the best films that I have ever seen. Highly recommended.

Xiu Xiu: The Sent-Down Girl (1998)

A Chinese Tarantino flick?

[11 November 2003]

This is by favorite foreign subtitled movie. There are hints of Tarantino in this flick, especially in the ending. This film depicts life in China as a young girl. I especially like the part with the apples. If you can stand reading the dialog , then this is an excellent film. The characters are likable and real. Highly recommended.

Kalifornia (1993)

I ever tell ya 'bout them doors Bri'?

[10/10 · 11 November 2003]

Kalifornia is one of my favorite films. Being from West Virginia, I have heard the hillbilly accent plenty, Pitt and Lewis nail it. If you get the uncut version on DVD , you get to see Duchovnys butt. This film holds no punches and it is gritty and real. Pitt gives a memorable performance as well as the rest of the cast. The film is all about what drives a serial killer. And while we may leave still questioning this, it does shine some light on the social barrier in the US. We see the wall that has been built between the socialy elite, who are desperatly trying to find a purpose in life and the poor white trash who are just trying to get by. Being made in the early 90s when the womens movement was at it's pinnacle, we also get a glimpse of reality in geography. Some women needed to be powerful, to be contaversial and to be in control. Some women just wanted to be protected and not alone. This film is disturbing in it's realism and the acting is as good as it gets. We also get to see the birthing of Mulder. You will see that Duchovnys character Brian in this film is not so much different than the X Files character Mulder. I imagine that Chris Carter saw this film before he cast Duchovny in the role of Mulder. Or perhaps Duchovny brought a little bit of Brian into the role. One bit of trivia for X Files fans, Mulder had written a paper on serial killers while he was in college, this paper was read by authorities in the FBI which led to him becoming an FBI agent. Strange coincidence? If you haven't seen Kalifornia, go out and rent it.

Reservoir Dogs (1992)

The way all movies should end

[10/10 · 11 November 2003]

This movie had the best ending in cimema history. RD is probably the best low budget film ever produced. Still Tarantinos best film. This movie has a realistic torture scene that will make you cringe. One word for this film? Bloodbath. An excellent movie, a must see.

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

Reloaded reviewed

[10/10 · 7 November 2003]

A big ol' bite of eye-candy. The story continues as Neo ,Trinity and Morpheus, as well as a whole slew of new characters, try to fight the programs of the Matrix. The story builds and more questions are raised. This episode starts a year or so after the first ones finale. Neo has learned quite a few new tricks and he's looking like The One. More people in Zion start to believe in the prophecy. Morpheus gives an inspirational speech to the masses in the Temple of Zion. A new character , Niobe played by Jada Pinkett Smith, adds even more sexiness to this sexy spectacle. As does Monica Beluchis character Persephone. We also meet a character named Seraph who is quite enjoyable. We learn much more about the Matrix and it's origins and so forth. This film tells the tale of the incredible corruptness inside the Matrix program. It is a CGI spectacular. The first film innovated the film making process as did this one. It not only stood up to it's predececor , it went beyond it. There was allot of adding to the plot as well as dialogue , but this films superior quality is what it looks like. It ends in a cliff hanger but don't let that get you down, it's all vindicated in the finale. I would rank this film my third favorite film of all time. If you haven't seen this movie I suggest that you go out right now and rent it or buy it. After you have seen the first one.

The Matrix Trilogy is the most fascinating and inspirational story of modern times. This is what film making is about and I hope to see other films follow suit. This is what I live for. To be taken into a different world and inspired by it is something that i enjoy. I can't imagine anyone ever topping this trilogy. I also consider The Matrix as a historical event in that it gave us hope in times of doubt. It shows us the reality of our sins and explores the benefit of faith. If you can't get into the story , watch it just for the spectacle. If you do get into the story, well then , welcome to the desert of the real my friend.

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Revolutions Review

[10/10 · 6 November 2003]

This is the third and final installment, or so they say , of the Matrix. Here is where you will see the fate of Neo and his counter part Agent Smith. Smith has become unstoppable at this point. The machines are going to attack Zion and humanity must prevail or be inihalated. Seeing this movie is comparable to going to Disney World for 2 and a half hours. It concludes the story and reveals the purpose of The One, or at least the purpose of Neo. It is a movie that is scary for it's hard bearing truth. The movie starts out slow. As Neo is trapped in Limbo Trinity, Morpheus and Seraph try to find him and bring him back to Zion. There is a very cool scene involving some coat check guys at a place called Hel Club, what appears to be an S&M club. While there , Trinity gets to be a total bad ass. She proclaims her purpose to The Merovingian played by Lambert Wilson. There is a battle between Zion and the machines. This battle is as hard core as it gets. At one point I was wishing for it to stop. Not because it was repetitive or boring, but because I just wanted this war to end. One thing that I thought was missing from the second installment was blood. The final episode makes up for the blood missing from the second by adding more blood and a hefty pinch of gore. What happens from there you will have to see for yourself. This is my second favorite movie of all time. If you haven't seen this movie I suggest that you go out right now and see it. After you have seen the first two.

The Matrix Trilogy is the most fascinating and inspirational story of modern times. This is what film making is about and I hope to see other films follow suit. This is what I live for. To be taken into a different world and inspired by it is something that i enjoy. I can't imagine anyone ever topping this trilogy. I also consider The Matrix as a historical event in that it gave us hope in times of doubt. It shows us the reality of our sins and explores the benefit of faith. If you can't get into the story , watch it just for the spectacle. If you do get into the story, well then , welcome to the desert of the real my friend.

Jerry Lambert

John Q (2002)

And the winner is..............

[8 September 2002]

Denzel Washington will definitely win the Oscar again with this role. He captures the average man without flaw. And this is the average man. This film does not candy coat reality at all. Anyone with a heart will be moved to tears with this film. It is one of those films that doesn't hold back any punches, so be prepared for a roller coaster of emotions.Kimberly Elise also gives an Oscar worthy performance, so look for her name on the ballot as well. I am so glad that I hadn't heard any spoilers , and I will not give any here. If you see a commercial for it on TV or if you hear people talking about it, just dont listen. You really need to experience this film without knowing what will happen next. This film does one of the best jobs in making the viewer bite nails and shuffle in your seat. You really dont know what's about to happen. So don't listen to the spoilers. Anne Heches role will make you very angry. James Woods could be best supporting material here as well. And everybody loves to hate Ray Liotta. This film will make you question your morals and ethics and it will show you desperation in it's realest form. Everyone can relate to this film and everyone would agree with the actions taken. That is the scary part. This film will not only pull at your strings while you are watching it , but it will make you sad and angry far after the credits have rolled. So keep the tissues and Xanax handy for this film. This is far more than just a movie, it is a political statement. This is one of the best films that I have ever seen.

Blood Sucking Freaks (1976)

Wooooo Hooooooooooooooo

[3 February 2002]

This flick rocks!!!! For real. You got naked chicks and blood and torture devices and midgets. And theres this evil doctor dude that has a bunch of crazed brain eating naked chicks in a cage in his basement. I can't believe they have it on here. I love this site.