dl-51550 Reviews

Road House (2024)

Pain does hurt...

[2/10 · 25 March 2024]

The original "Road House" thoroughly embraced what it is --an easy, fun watch that completely delivers on all its promise of violence, romance, hokum, and more violence. It just might be one of the best "B" movies ever made, and certainly is a staple for cable TV. But this new version?? It fails to deliver any of the winning aspects of the original. There is no shred of the Zen ethos of Patrick Swayze's Dalton in Jake Gyllenhaal's portrayal. The numerous bad guys are ham-handed, over the top caricatures. And what passes for romance seems like an awkward afterthought. Worse yet: the ending leaves the clear possibility of a "sequel." Now that would be a pain that even the original Dalton would feel.

Fair Play (2023)

Bring no expectations

[6/10 · 28 December 2023]

This film is not what I had imagined it to be. In this case, dashed expectations gave way to surprise, and to subsequent reflection. "Fair Play" is not an easy watch. The portrayal of life at a NYC hedge fund is not pretty; the unbridled greed and fratboy misogyny are highly obscene, giving a fresh take on the pejorative "filthy rich." But where first time director Chloe Domont takes the film's romantic relationship will make you examine your perceptions and beliefs about love, trust and gender equality. And that you can be held captive by a story with no likeable characters is just another unexpected design of the filmmaker's artistry. After "Fair Play" you may never look at love and money the same way again.

Who Is Erin Carter? (2023)

Suspend belief and have a little fun

[5/10 · 26 December 2023]

Spoiler alerts! There are two dubious world records set in this series: 1) the number of impossible and improbable coincidences, and 2) the number of times one character can apologize without the other characters pummeling her to death. But if you can put these annoyances aside, you'll likely find "Who Is Erin Carter?" to be an easily watchable, entertaining rampaging romp through the the eternal sunshine of Barcelona. Obviously this isn't the stuff real life is made off. But then this isn't a documentary. Enjoy the likeable characters, the great scenery, and allow yourself some decent escapism.

Nyad (2023)

A story that didn't need to be a movie

[3/10 · 7 November 2023]

There is a clear line between determination and self absorbed compulsion. "Nyad" is a tediously long, repetitive tale that wants to portray itself as a feel good morality play, where the heroine overcomes all through iron willed determination. What we get is an overly wrought expose of a narcissist who is consumed by a compulsion; this is a story deserving perhaps of a "60 Minutes" segment, but that in no way merits a 2-hour movie. Benning puts a lot of herself -- especially physically -- into this project, and Foster's performance as the long suffering best friend is perhaps the bright spot. But if you watch "Nyad" don't be surprised if you come away uninspired, and are rather regretful that you could have spent those two hours doing something actually meaningful.

The Mother (2023)

We just didn't need another one

[2/10 · 4 June 2023]

If we were to believe Hollywood the world is teeming with aging (or geriatric) assassins, all of whom have to fend off former employers who want them dead. It is hard to find a popular actor over 50 who hasn't been enticed into doing one of these thoroughly predictable and wholly unimaginative shoot 'em ups, and now we add Jennifer Lopez. To put it bluntly there was no need for "The Mother" to be made. None. You have to be left wondering who the audience is for this tired, exhaustive claptrap. If you're looking to waste your time and numb your senses then this will fill the bill. "The Mother" is a complete lose-lose situation for all.

Away (2020)

Reasons to NOT start watching

[2/10 · 22 May 2023]

Let's see...Netflix announced there will not be a season 2, so there's that. Oh, and then there's the trainwreck of dueling storylines, one of which plays out fairly interestingly, while the other seems like a hamfisted, cheesy reject from Lifetime. The half of "Away" that deals with the flight to Mars is actually decent tv-quality sci-fi; the half dealing with the families of the astronauts is tedious, and 99% of it adds nothing crucial or entertaining. The frustration is that whatever character or plot mojo developes onboard the spacecraft is derailed each time the story switches to the family situations back on Earth. "Away" is 10 episdoes; if they'd cut out the needless family drama they could have had 5 episodes of a decent, limited series space adventure.

Cry Macho (2021)

One more time, Clint? Sure, why not.

[5/10 · 16 May 2023]

It doesn't take long for viewers to realize that this movie is a vanity project for Eastwood. It is abundantly clear that there wasn't anybody there during production to tell Clint no, as in "no, a 93 year old man couldn't do that," and, "no, a 93 year old man wouldn't do that." So, "Cry Macho" is a fantasy -- but it's Clint Eastwood's fantasy. He might not be the only nonagenarian in Hollywood that would try to pull off something like this, but he is the only one that has the career-earned cache that almost...almost...makes it work. "Cry Macho" isn't a waste of time, but it is not vintage Eastwood, and certainly not the film he will be remembered by.

A Man Called Otto (2022)

An unexpected pleasure

[9/10 · 13 May 2023]

Nothing new to see here: "A Man Called Otto" is completely familiar territory. And in the hands of a cast and crew with lesser artistic skills this movie would likely have been a syrupy, easily overlooked cliche. Luckily, Tom Hanks brings his, well, Tom Hanks -- one of the few leading men who can masterfully, and seemingly effortlessly, pivot a character between comedy and drama. And pivot Otto does, as his best laid plans go astray, much to his chagrin, and much to our viewing pleasure. Spoiler alert (not really): expect to fall in love with Otto's new neighbors, especially the young wife Marisol, in a stellar, visceral performance by relatively unknown Mariana Trevino (Oscar, are you paying attention?). And then there's the cat in the box at the cemetery...you'll see. "A Man Called Otto" is familiar and reaffirming, and in the end it reminds us that though we can exist alone, we can't really live life alone.

Tulsa (2020)

Spoiler Reality: This is not a great movie

[2/10 · 4 May 2023]

"Tulsa" is a production made by, and for, proselytizing Christians. Thus, it is a simplistic religious morality play, and the believers are dutifully posting rave "reviews," pinging their praise off the walls of their theocratic echo chamber. If "Tulsa" had been labeled a faith-based project I would have avoided it, the way one does the mind-numbing, tedious Lifetime network. I'm certain that for those who do feed on religious entertainment "Tulsa" may be great. Based solely on the acting and cinematography "Tulsa" is far from the worst thing ever made, but it also is far, far from qualifying as anything other than religious propaganda.

Greyhound Attack (2019)

Oh.my.gawd.

[1/10 · 2 May 2023]

This is obscenely bad it. It doesn't get any worse than this. The worst "acting" ever; the worst graphics and effects ever. Middle school kids...aww, heck, monkeys...with iPhones and GI Joe action figures could do better. It is so bad that even "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" would pass on it because, well, you can't make fun of something that lacks any actual content. There literally is nothing worth seeing here. This project is a disturbing waste of everyone's time and money. All those who participated in it, at any level, should be forever banned from ever even thinking about making another "movie."

The Diplomat (II) (2023– )

This is why you exist, Netflix

[9/10 · 24 April 2023]

Keri Russell's performance here is nothing short of a revelation. Her characterization of American career diplomat Kate Wyler is a mesmerizing mash-up of strength, humor, intelligence, vulnerability and, oh my, sexiness. "The Diplomat" deftly caricatures the realm of international diplomacy and its denizens. And while the world hasn't yet descended to the chicanery of the storyline's plot, the wonderfully talented, diverse cast makes it easy to believe that most governments are overrun by people who never emotionally escaped middle school. This series looks good, sounds good, feels good -- it is sublimely fun and smart adult entertainment. All Netflix needs to do now is announce Season 2, and let Ms. Russell and company continue to work their magic.

Florida Man (2023)

Expectations met

[7/10 · 21 April 2023]

"Florida Man" is Netflix rarity: a series that knows what is and stays in its lane, though at times it may motor a bit slowly. That's because this is a series that delves more into character development than action. And characters there are aplenty. At the center of things is Mike Valentine, an ex-cop with a gambling addiction and family issues, who wants to do right. Add in the mysterious girl, the gangster, and an only-in-the-movies kind of caper, and you get a basic tried and true formula. Expectations of what's going to happen are met, by a cast of actors with decent acting skills and surprisingly good comedic timing: yes, "Florida Man" is a comedy, and delivers some spot on, deliciously unexpected humor, often at the expense of the state of Florida (note: it was filmed in North Carolina but you'll never get a whiff of it). And because of its measured pace this series does not compel you to binge watch; you can drop in and out without losing momentum. All in all "Florida Man" is like a good day at the beach: a little heat, a little sandy grit, a pleasant breeze, and a nice view.

Transatlantic (2023)

I wanted to like this series

[6/10 · 10 April 2023]

The Netflix series is based on real life events in Marseilles, France during the early days of WW II. Dark times, indeed, from an historical view. But, somehow, "Transatlantic" comes across more like a collection of ingénues and eccentrics on a madcap adventure, rather than as a literal life and death struggle against fascism. The tone of this series is set by a soundtrack that hit me every which way but right; the overall effect was like watching a strange, inappropriate homage to a Woody Allen period piece comedy. Kudos to the cast, though, which manages at times to rise above it all with some excellent performances; and the on-location cinematography adds authenticity to the historical weight of the storyline. "Transatlantic" may be the only series you should watch with the audio muted and the captions on, because what happened is worth knowing so that it is not forgotten, or repeated.

The Night Agent (2023– )

That would never happen!

[4/10 · 29 March 2023]

"The Night Agent" is yet another Netflix series that begins with an interesting premise, and then devolves into a frustrating and often ridiculous mess. For this type of presidential political thriller to work the action and intrigue needs to be at least somewhat plausible. If you stick around for all 10 episodes you will find yourself saying "that would never happen" -- a lot. The bad guys (and gals) are over the top caricatures, eliciting unintentional humor rather dread or fright. Thankfully the good guys and gals are likeable throughout, and the one redeeming quality in the series. There is annoyingly gratituitous cursing throughout, and a sex scene that no one ever, ever needed to see. Editing certainly was not a priority for "The Night Agent"; this nearly 10-hour overblown mishmash could have been distilled into a couple of hours of relatively good entertainment. But instead what we get is a series that is really no better than the network TV dreck that we're subscribing to Netflix to avoid.

Call Me Chihiro (2023)

Tremendously beautiful simplicity

[8/10 · 16 March 2023]

This is the rare film that will stop and luxuriate in the beauty of moments. The director and cinematographer exhibit a sheer love of filmmaking in a way that today's Hollywood never would, or could. Deeply atmospheric and intimate, this is a film that captures our senses. We become immersed so subtly and totally that it can seem at times almost voyeuristic, as if we may be privy to too much of the characters' personal lives as we become absorbed in the daily challenges and beauty unfolding around them. "Call Me Chihiro" is a slow burn that is well worth your time. What a pleasure it is to come across this testament that the art of film making is not dead.

Bloodlands (2021–2022)

So much unfinished business

[5/10 · 5 March 2023]

"Bloodlands" should be a Netflix series: a good premise that quickly devolves into confusion and tediously excessive melodrama. How the historical and social undercurrents of Northern Ireland's "troubles" affect police work, and the visual imprint of Belfast and surrounding scenery, are the most compelling aspects of "Bloodlands." But with so many unanswered questions about who did what, when, and why, viewers are left feeling that the case is still open. Is there enough interest to generate a season 3? If so, the producers of "Bloodlands" will need to supply us with answers, and tie up all the loose ends. Anything less would be criminal.

Black Summer (2019–2021)

A waste of time?

[6/10 · 13 January 2023]

That all depends on whether or not Netflix renews the series for its conclusion. While "Dark Summer" stands squarely in the shadow of "The Walking Dead," it holds its own in quality of cast, and is far superior in its cinematography. The show's writers have a nice feel for crisp, direct dialogue that perfectly befits a world where idle, polite chit chat was one of the first casualties of the apocalypse. "Dark Summer" is not a broad tale, yet the singular storyline remains unresolved. Invest your time only if you aren't expecting Netflix to leave us with another series unfinished. "Dark Summer" has yet to make its point, but there are many less redeeming ways to fritter away your time.

Moonfall (2022)

O.M.G.

[1/10 · 28 November 2022]

Early on in this unbelievable mess of a production, Halle Berry's character pontificates, "Everything we thought we knew about the nature of the universe has just gone out the window." If you substitute "the nature of the universe" with "bad movies" you have "Moonfall." It's as if this was created specifically for a roasting on "Mystery Science Theater 3000," though Crow and Tom Servo would probably suffer circuitry overload from this obscene amount of improbable buffoonery. The only reason something as ridiculous as "Moonfall" gets made is that, obviously, Hollywood is now being run by 12 year old boys.

Lou (I) (2022)

Even the dog

[1/10 · 23 October 2022]

This is one movie that did not need to be made. The "genre" of the geezer dark-ops killing machine should have been over and done with "Taken 2." But this hackneyed, horribly derivitive mess apparently is not too ridiculous for Netflix. "Lou" has saddled the talented Allison Janney, and a decent cast, with insurmountably wooden dialogue and a wholly unbelievable plot. Worst of all, the director and writers have unwittingly accomplished a rare feat: a movie in which none of the characters are likeable -- not even the kid or the dog. "Lou" is a waste of time and energy for all involved. Do yourself a favor and avoid it, secure in the knowledge that you will have missed absolutely nothing.

Beast (I) (2022)

You'll root for the lions

[3/10 · 14 October 2022]

This is a basically a slasher flick: it begins with seemingly normal characters in a picturesque, tranquil setting, but (as the genre demands) stuff goes south rather quickly, in a torrent of barely believable or plausible gore and mayhem. Idris Elba is an A-list talent, at his best when allowed to craft his simmering intensity, swagger and understated charm. But here, Elba is sadly underused...well, no, actually his talent is wasted. Add to that CGI that will never leave you wondering "how'd they do that?" and you have a feeble film that misfires on all cylinders. The movie's title does not ring true: there's not a believable "Beast" anywhere in sight.

The Resort (2022– )

Totally worth it, even if you may get "Lost"

[7/10 · 10 September 2022]

"The Resort" has a unique, inviting premise and wonderfully engaging cast. But a terrific build up delivers a somewhat underwhelming payoff. If you were a fan of "Lost" and felt let down by its ambiguous ending (I fall into that camp), "The Resort" will likely seem like deja vu all over again. Asking the audience to buy into layer upon layer of metaphysical premises and then leaving an ending of "it is whatever you think it is" smacks of a story that got too far ahead of writers who were incapable of folding things into a complete and fitting resolution. But the ride is sooooo much fun that...well, like life itself, it is the journey, not the destination, that is the revelation.

The Undeclared War (2022)

Great premise, poor delivery

[5/10 · 22 August 2022]

This series centers on a timely, provocative idea that got bogged down by the delivery. The depiction of Britian's cyber security tussle with Russia is good fun, and will likely ring authentic and believable to all but real life coders and hackers. But the human side of this tale is extremely dodgy. Badly muddled character development renders most of the main characters unknowable, distant and even unlikable. Still, "The Undeclared War" has moments that capture the current zeitgeist and angst of a world where we can seem to be one or two mouse clicks away from catastrophe. Like I said, good fun.

Endeavour (2012–2023)

Great show takes wrong turn

[7/10 · 22 July 2022]

"Endeavor" has consistently been one of those British productions that instructs America how the "whodunnit" is done. Season 8, though, is falling short, so far coming across like a cheesy "CSI" spinoff, where an overbearing synthesized soundtrack and weird camera angles are no replacement for a good script and solid production. The magic of "Endeavour" has always been more about the splendid cast taking us into the varied and often poignant lives of post-war "coppers", and less about the crimes they resolve. Not so this season. Perhaps it is budget cuts, or that the creative well is running dry. Whatever is going on with "Endeavour" it is clear that Morse, Thursday and the viewers deserve better. If the show runners and writers can't produce it, then pull the plug on season 8. They, and the fans, can bask in the glow of 7 seasons of a series that set the standard for what a Masterpiece should be.

Virgin River (2019– )

There's only one question here...

[1/10 · 21 July 2022]

Okay, so...seasons 1 and 2 were light and fluffy guilty pleasures. In season 3 the muck started to get a bit thick but it could still be waded through. Season 4? Oh.my.god. We are up to our eyebrows in slop. The script: implausibilities heaped upon improbabilities, as if it was cobbled together by the Really Bored and Brainless Housewives of Omaha, after they had their third glass of Costco box chardonnay. This version of "Virgin River" is where Krispy Kreme donuts go when they want to fall into a vomit-inducing sugar coma. Be prepared to keep asking yourself the most obvious and pertinent question: "Are you #*@%ing kidding me?"