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galaxymoncho
Reviews
Glamorous: Are You on the List? (2023)
Confusing?
Parker is this alpha male who invites Marco over to meet his so called 'friends'. I was expecting a bunch of jocks who were all into football but instead we get the cast of Fire Island. Parker is admittedly a little embarrassed by Marco's flamboyance but his friends are equally as flamboyant. They even have their own trunk filled with drag wear. People can have different types of friends but Parker's personality just doesn't gel with the rest of them. Marco was desperate to fit in with Parker's friends that he toned down his look, but they were just like Marco. In fact it was Parker who didn't fit in. He seemed like the type who would be buddies with someone like Chad (favorite character I wish had his own show). Marco would make pop culture references that Parker was clueless to but his friends seem to get it. Chad in drag was hilarious. They should have put him in the leather pants and suspenders but he probably wouldn't have fit in them anyway. This was my least favorite episode, but overall it's still a pretty decent show. It's not perfect but it would suffice, especially if your a fan of Ugly Betty like myself.
Babylon (2022)
WTF IS THIS MOVIE?
I never went to film school so I don't understand any of this crap. It's like those paintings that don't make sense but art lovers seem to adore. I guess I'm just an idiot who doesn't get it. Is this what people consider as poetic? More like puke! I live for superficial excess if it's done well, but this is embarrassing. I prefer the parties in The Great Gatsby and 54. Honestly I'd rather watch porn than this perversion. I felt bad for all the extras who had to be dragged into this nonsense. They should have been the stars and not the actual stars. Where were the likes of Jean Harlow, Greta Garbo, Mae West, Fred Astaire and Clark Gable. Movie stars were ethereal, but in this they all just looked like disgusting pigs. Everyone was sweaty and icky looking. Did they shoot this during the summer time? So many scenes could have been cut out but left in. Gratuitous! I kept waiting for M3gan to popup and eviscerate everyone, or a meteor to crash and obliterate them.
After the Ball (2015)
Cinderella on the Catwalk!
This is one of my fave Cinderella stories next to RAGS and Disney's live action version. I love how they kept the dad alive but is an absentee father. I love that her prince charming isn't a gorgeous white knight. Instead she's the savior of her father's company. I love the play with words 'KASSELL' as in castle. She's the princess and the prince is a pauper. I especially loved the fashions. Costume designer Mario Davignon collaborated with clothing retailer Le Château to produce a clothing line based on his designs for the film.
I cannot stress over how much I j'adore this film. It has all the Cinderella tropes. The wicked stepmother, stepsisters, godmother, little helpers and magic. Not real magic but the kind you find in the world of fashion. With all the glitz and glamour. I especially loved the disguise. She looks and sounds completely unrecognizable not like those 'A Cinderella Story' movies. A stupid mask, a veil, a wig, elf ears and hat, and the most abysmal one, a cowboy getup. In ACS: Starstruck the female lead pretends to be a cowboy but sounds 100% female and yet no one can even tell the difference. WTF! I'd rather watch After the Ball, A Snow White Christmas and A Beauty and the Beast Christmas on repeat than those aforementioned travesties.
The School for Good and Evil (2022)
Live-Action Ever After High!
This is for fans of Descendants and Monster High as well as those of us who grew up on Disney fairytales. If you don't like fairytales coz no one read them to you as a kid then you'd probably not be able to appreciate this. After seeing this I had to know how it truly ends. So I skipped past all the book series and went straight to the very end coz I don't got no patience to read the whole thing. And finally got my fairytale ending. The kind you see in the wonderful world of Disney and not the Brothers Grimm! I'm just a little nitpicky in terms of casting choices but overall it was quite decent. My fave character was Gregor he knew his place in the world and accepted it. If only more ppl were accepting of him :(
Some ppl were denied fairytales when they were young and some actually believed it to be true and ended up growing old and bitter. Maybe fairytales aren't your thing. Maybe your more into Harry Potter or Star Wars or maybe even Game of Thrones! But whatever it may be the point is that sometimes it's just nice to escape and imagine a better or even weirder world.
The Loneliest Boy in the World (2022)
Wasted Potential!
This was such a waste! It had potential but they blew it! Even the bullies seemed forced. I really liked the lead actor and they had that guy from the popular After films but was underutilized. The movie is described as a modern fairytale with zombies. I thought it resembled more of a bad dream. Not even a single musical number or duet. Max Harwood was the lead in the musical Everybody's Talking About Jamie. They could have just had Oliver be an out and about gay boi singing to the heavens then finally gets his prayers answered with a new zombie friend. Then with the power of true love the yucky zombie turns into a dashing loaded prince. Mitch introduces Oliver to his loving and supportive folks and they live happily ever after! How's that for fairytale? Oliver first tries to find a friend then ends up getting a best friend, a boyfriend and a new modern family. Now before you can say that's ridiculous! Oliver wakes up and he's back in the asylum and it was all just a dream. But then a very cute male nurse arrives with his meds and it's Mitch! Smile! You have the fantasy mixed with reality and the possibilities are endless. They should have just focused solely on these two instead of those silly side characters and saved a whole lotta money. Young girls are gonna wanna see their beloved bad boy Hardin Scott not a disgusting zombie!
Monster High (2022)
STOP THE HATE!
People who continue to bash this fine film forget that this is just a very simple little made for TV kids movie sprinkled with positive messages like finding your inner voice, being true to yourself and accepting and appreciating others for their differences. And hopefully spreading the word to squelch animosity and bigotry. Why is that such a bad thing? Foolish people unfortunately only see what they wanna see. Look not just only with your eyes but also with your heart. Just like Beauty & the Beast. Do not be fooled by appearance for beauty is found within. Lest you turn into a miserable, disgruntled and whiny old beast! Plus a lot of ppl worked really hard on this even if the payoff isn't 100% You try making a movie and watch the karma train criticize or lambaste your hard work!
How to Build a Better Boy (2014)
Weird Science but with nerdy girls
My fave DCOM! The 2 leads are outcasts but dress like the popular girls. Kara Saun the costume designer for this also did the costumes on all 3 Descendants movies and was a former contestant on Project Runway. For ppl who are confused as to how a teen was able to hack the Pentagon. It's simple coz it's a kids movie. The more you try to over analyze this movie, the more you end up not fully appreciating this masterpiece of a movie. If you've seen Weird Science then you sort of know what to expect. Weird Science was actually incredibly unrealistic and yet has a huge fanbase. Whereas this movie was a little more believable and deserves the same accolade.
Liar, Liar, Vampire (2015)
Underrated Gem!
Ppl who don't get or hate this movie are probably not the target audience. Or think too highly of themselves. Sometimes ppl only see what they want to see.
What sells this comedy is that it doesn't take itself too seriously; it accepts its role as a frivolous parody of Twilight and similar melodramas and just has fun with it. Adams is excellent as the naïve Davis, who by virtue of some fortuitous food aversions and a timely encounter with body glitter sets the rumor mill in motion about his true identity. Given his social awkwardness, it's hard to blame him for riding the popularity wave at the expense of others' feelings, but it is good to see him step up and do the right thing in the end.
LIAR, LIAR, VAMPIRE is silly and self-effacing, but it does well to illustrate the importance of being yourself and surrounding yourself with people who appreciate the real you. Davis is influenced by his sudden popularity to become someone else just to maintain it, but he learns that that doesn't bring happiness, and Vi finds that there's value in peer relationships with the right people. Even Caitlyn changes for the better, giving tweens three examples of characters choosing integrity over status.
Someone asked if teens can be that stupid? Yes! It's called peer pressure and mob mentality. Most ppl are sheep whether you believe it or not. I love how short, sweet and simple the movie is and not overly complicated for a kids movie.
I esp like the fact that they don't divulge everything. They make you think. Like how Davis and his mom move around a lot but they never reveal her profession. Or how every time they move she gifts him a kaleidoscope. I believe that she may be some kind of scientist or agent for the supernatural and the kaleidoscopes are actually a useful tool in spotting supernatural beings like vampires.
A Beauty & the Beast Christmas (2019)
The Original He's All That
This movie is clearly not for everyone but I absolutely loved it! I actually came for Donna Mills. Ppl can sometimes be so harsh with older actresses. Did she or didn't she have any work done? Who cares she still looks like herself and IMO looks amazing.
Some ppl are a little confused as to why they called this A Beauty & the Beast Christmas but after watching it again I could see why. The assistant Kensington is so Lumier/Cogsworth and Derek is obvs Gaston. Ginger and Beau are both equally Beauty & the Beast.
The truth of the matter is, A Beauty and the Beast Christmas isn't about physical appearances with neither protagonists being the beauty or the beast. The beauty ends up being life, family, love, and our true natures. While the beast is social media, society's influence, and the internet.
A Snow White Christmas (2018)
A Snow White & The Huntsman Christmas
IDK WTH Ppl expect from this lovely movie. It's Snow White during Christmas. Plain and simple! Not overly complicated. Ppl who say Michelle Randolph's acting was bad have no idea what their talking about. She's playing Snow White and I thought she did a fantastic job. It's sort of like playing Cinderella. The fact that the actress dyed her beautiful blonde hair is testament to how committed she was to playing this role. Kate Bosworth comes to mind in Superman Returns who refused to dye her hair and that's why she sucked as Lois Lane/Lame!
The exterior shots of the Snow house are of a Victorian style home. But the interior shots show a very modern contemporary style that doesn't match the outside at all. (This was considered a goof when actually it's a very clever way of presenting the old vs new. As in this is an old fable given a modern twist. Plus it just adds to the fairy tale magic. It reminds me of the movie 'Beautiful Creatures' where the exterior is old but inside it's all modern)
Victoria and Zane remind me so much of Wilhelmina and Marc on Ugly Betty.
I especially love the fact that it ends exactly the way I wish 'Snow White and the Huntsman' had ended.
Flowers in the Attic: The Origin (2022)
To be continued...
Apparently you can only do 1 review. My 1st 1 is in episode 4. So this is the continuation. I hardly touched on FITA & POTW. I only changed Olivia poisoning the kids and blaming it on Corrine. And Of Course Chris seeing Corrine at the party. Oh! And Olivia stuffing Cory in the box. I know I'm a little biased with Corrine but I mean would you look at that face she looks like an angel. Sorry. Truth be told I've never read any of the books. So Chris survives the crash is in a coma wakes up with amnesia and taken in by a lonely old lady. In the film Sunset Boulevard, which is a 1950s black and white movie, there's a huge swan bed which is how I always pictured a swan bed, oval shaped where the swans neck is in the front. It kinda looks like a boat. So I imagined after Christopher regained his memories every time he would make love to the older woman he would imagine Corrine. So when the woman committed suicide he was notably distraught. He felt guilty for using her the way he did. After all she had no family to speak of, no children, she was all alone. He went back to being a doctor and with his newfound wealth came the opportunity of a lifetime. He surprises Corrine at the sanitarium, outpatient clinic or whatever it's called CORRINE: Is it really you or am I hallucinating? CHRISTOPHER: Yes! I'm his ghost here to set you on a righteous path. CORRINE: What? CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry! I'm kidding! It really is me I didn't die. CORRINE: How is this possible? CHRISTOPHER: We have a lot to talk about. Oh! Christopher! I thought I lost you. You can't get rid of me that easy. They finally fall into each others arms like star-crossed lovers do. Waiting to Exhale. I know my story doesn't tie into Seeds of Yesterday but I was thinking more Seeds of Tomorrow. Don't focus too much on the past or you'll forget about the future. Everyone has settled back into Foxworth Hall as one big very dysfunctional family. Firstly both Christopher's are working alongside each other in the hospital. Cathy is back teaching ballet and with Christopher's guidance Corrine is actually a lot nicer to the household staff and doesn't treat them like servants. Meanwhile Jory and Melodie are having a little hiccup in their relationship so in order to spice things up Melodie decides that they should have a threesome. What she neglects to tell Jory is that it's his brother Bart who would be joining them. Jory reluctantly agrees coz he loves Melodie, or so he thought. You can imagine Jory's shock at seeing his brother Bart wholeheartedly agreeing to this. Melodie asks the boys to begin kissing each other. Again Jory cannot believe what is happening. Bart just goes for it without any hesitation, which turns Melodie on. Jory realises Bart has issues but this is twisted. He could have said no but for some inexplicable reason the word could not escape him Then again he did agree to it. When it was all over, as he watched Melodie curl up next to Bart, he then realized that he had made a colossal mistake. Jory had a moment of clarity and he pondered the question 'Is this the woman I wish to spend the rest of my life with?' And out came a resounding NO! The next morning Jory takes Melodie aside and has a heart to heart, he apologizes to her. And Melodie asks, for what? He politely asks her to pack all her things. Where are we going? Not we, you your leaving Foxworth Hall. Were through! Goodbye. With Melodie gone Bart's eyes begin to wander towards his stepsister Cindy. Bart by the way is not the same religious fanatic he was in SOY. Jory's grandmother, Marisha (from POTW and ITBT) unfortunately loses her house and her beloved dance studio. So strapped for cash she decides to visit her now very wealthy grandson. As the Foxworth's are having another grand party. Marisha makes her grand entrance, to the surprise of everyone. Corrine's response 'Who the hell is she?' Marisha introduces herself and has the audacity to tell them that she will be staying with them for the time being. CORRINE: Like hell you are! Marisha looks at Corrine then Christopher and makes a snide comment: My, you two look so much alike if I didn't know any better you could be brother and sister. Then proceeds to stare at Cathy and Christopher. Cathy tells her mother that Marisha is family and that they'd be delighted to have her. Cathy soon fills her Mom and Dad in on Marisha. Next up the new John Amos breaks out of prison. I imagined him like Charles Manson and his flock. Since this new John Amos is inspired by the old JA I decided what if he were secretly related to JA and doesn't know it, yet. I'm thinking of calling him Jonathan. So Jonathan who knows all about the Foxworth's decides to spill the beans to a local newspaper. The rumor mill spreads like wildfire. Corrine extinguishes the flames by paying off a handful of people. Everyone then suspects Marisha so they lock her up in the attic. Jonathan then goes to the mansion next to Foxworth Hall and is greeted by none other than Olivia who faked her own death. Now this Olivia is not the same invalid from POTW. She's spry and tough. Olivia as it turns out is responsible for getting Jonathan out of prison and is the mastermind behind his whole ideology and killing her family. She reveals to Jonathan that he is actually John Amos's half brother. And lays out her plans for claiming back Foxworth Hall. But from a distance she overhears a car pulling up to Foxworth. Using a telescope she spies the person coming out of the car. To her shock it's Joel who she presumed to have died with Harry. Her baby is still alive! And in that instance for whatever reason be it divine intervention. Olivia wept for the first time in a long while. And looked back with regret for all that she'd done. Locking up those poor children when she could have just welcomed them with open arms. Caring for them and loving them like grandmothers should. As she continued to sob she looked up at Jonathan and wiped off her tears and straightened herself up. She moved towards the table picked something up and approached Jonathan. She tells Jonathan that their arrangement is over and stabs him in the neck with a letter opener. She ultimately realizes that blaming Malcolm was pointless when she herself was truly the curse that destroyed the Foxworth's. Everyone embraces Joel and Harry without malice and welcomes home their brother, uncle and his husband without ever knowing that Olivia is watching them from a distance. You know how Cathy at the end of SOY looks out the window forlornly. Well it's presumed that she dies of a broken heart which is exactly how I pictured Olivia peering out the window at Foxworth Hall. And since this is different from SOY Jory doesn't get paralyzed but Melodie still gets pregnant with twins. She dumps the babies at Foxworth Hall. Now the question is are the babies Jory's, Bart's or both?
Jory never meets the caretaker/nurse but finds another Melodie in the ballet world named Harmony who also happens to be a licensed nurse. So when they call the agency for a nanny Jory is surprised to see a familiar face. Bart is most definitely not a televangelist instead he's an entomologist and an ophidiophile. Cindy is an actress who lands her big break on a show where she plays a ballerina. Bart gifts her a butterfly pin for luck.
Flowers in the Attic: The Origin: Part Four: The Martyr (2022)
Hated by Fans
Fans hated the fact that they killed off John Amos who's supposed to return in If There Be Thorns. I think their probably going to redo the whole series and change everything. I think John Amos could still be alive and that Olivia didn't actually kill him she only imagines she did coz he raped her. Or Amos is truly dead and their going to introduce a new character similar to Amos but even more sinister. I like to think that their trying to make Olivia responsible for poisoning the kids, not Corrine. Like how Olivia killed the rat and the close-up of the rat poison foreshadowing. I love soaps and you notice how whenever someone dies but they never show the dead body it's probably coz their still alive. That's why I like to think that Christopher is still alive. How you may ask well what if someone beat up Christopher real bad and stole all his belongings and his car, and in his haste accidentally crashes into a gasoline station and is engulfed in flames. When the cops show up they find Christopher's ID and mistake the thief for Christopher. When Corrine arrives to identify the body she can't coz it's burned to a crisp. I know this is all just fanfic but I just loved their version of Christopher and Corrine. Callum Kerr and Hannah Dodd had so much chemistry as Christopher and Corrine I actually thought they would make a better Barbie and Ken than Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling. Waaay better! I picture Christopher having a concussion, waking up from a coma and then having amnesia. Then a beautiful older woman driving by notices Christopher and is smitten. I picture Heather Graham in the role but with strawberry blonde hair (I just loved her as Corrine). I'm thinking Sunset Boulevard where this older very wealthy woman keeps her younger paramour in her huge mansion. So Christopher becomes a kept man. Then they attend a fancy soiree at Foxworth Hall where Christopher is introduced to Corrine and the memories slowly start to return. Christopher and Corrine lock eyes. Corrine is shocked to see Christopher's doppelganger, she is at a loss for words. Christopher is enamored but ultimately decides to forget about Corrine coz she's now engaged to Bart and that he's her brother. Christopher takes it as a sign that he and Corrine are better off. So he marries the older woman even tho he doesn't love her. She is nothing but kind to Christopher but notices his unhappiness. One day she notices in his drawer a picture of Corrine and several clippings of her. She demands to know why, so Christopher divulges all and she is in shock. She asks him if he still loves her and he concurs. Then the next day he finds that she locked herself in her bathroom. When he breaks the door he finds her lifeless in the tub. She had taken some pills and drowned. Christopher inherits everything and plots to win back Corrine. So when If There Be Thorns pulls up Corrine is now back with Christopher and they move next door to Christopher and Cathy. Christopher obviously forgave Corrine for locking their children in the attic and now plan on winning them back. Then were introduced to the new John Amos who was an associate of Malcolm's who is deeply religious and disturbed. He ends up teaching in Bart Jr's school and tries to start a cult. He manipulates Bart and tells him that his whole family are sinners and that they should all be punished. So with his followers they try to kill everyone. But Bart finally comes to his senses and calls the police. So basically they all move back to Foxworth Hall. I know most people are disgusted by incest I mean I'm not ok with it but imagine if this happened in real life would you throw shade at these people or treat them with kindness. Love is love. I know it's completely different but I'm just a sucker for a happy ending. It's supposed to be a tragedy but haven't we already seen that version. Their supposed to be punished but I just can't help but feel sorry for them. Sorry if this all sounds corny and stupid. I'm obviously not a writer.