momster64 Reviews

The Sacrifice Game (2023)

It's a "Meh" For Me, Dawg

[6/10 · 23 February 2024]

A decent enough premise I guess.

I've been getting so disappointed in Shudder lately and this movie can just get tossed on the pile with the rest.

The acting from the beginning is not much better than your average high school musical, and a couple of the antagonists were so over-the-top melodramatic I almost expected them to start twirling the ends of their mustaches and tying a young maiden to the train tracks.

It varied between made-for-tv tameness and pretty violent deaths that I guess I did not expect.

I'll give it a rousing "meh" and hope Shudder can put out something better in the future.

Hoarders: Terri (2024) Season 15, Episode 1

Talk About Dragging Out The Episode

[6/10 · 18 January 2024]

So.

I've watched a whole lotta these episodes, the last couple seasons I've noticed more and more how the staff tries and tries to goad and push the homeowner to get "better" reactions. How about this item? Don't you want to keep it? What would you say if I took it away? Would you get upset? More drama, more viewers.

This episode is just about the most blatant example. The homeowner was completely owning of the situation, knew it needed to be fixed and addressed, went along with the cleaning without complaints. Even left for a day and had family members take over her decisions. She threw away a guitar, a family member said don't you want to keep it and refurbish it? When the guitar was taken out of the bin, she was admonished that it wasn't worth keeping.

Sorry Dorothy B, but you pushed and pushed her to get some kind of bad reaction because you weren't getting the freak out like you are used to. She told you repeatedly that she was fine, you didn't take her word for it and said she was in denial, and it went on and on for two dam hours.

I've gotta believe that not all hoarders are the depressed train wrecks you think they are.

This show has become more exploitative than it ever has been, y'all jumped the shark a LONG time ago.

The Creeping (2022)

Expected better...

[6/10 · 14 December 2023]

I'm a bit on the fence on this one, it started off pretty good, after awhile I realized I'd seen Anna awaken in the middle of the night to go look for her grandmother several times, call out "Nana" a few dozen times, look around dark rooms with a flashlight several times, and pull a sheet very slowly off a scary object more times than was necessary. It seemed like they were just padding the runtime. The storyline was kinda convoluted and it was hard to tell what was real or dreamt or imagined. Finally, the ghost of the grandfather had effects that seemed cartoonish... It wasn't BAD, but I was disappointed in the long run.

Hell House LLC Origins: The Carmichael Manor (2023)

Sadly Disappointing

[7/10 · 8 November 2023]

Regarding the first three installments of this series, I thought they were amazing. Spooky, tense, I was continually bracing myself for the next jumpscare or showing of those dam clowns. Watched them all twice, watched YouTube videos, read explanations.

I was very hopeful with this one due to the IMDB rating and some good reviews. I found it disappointing.

The acting was less than believable, at no time did I feel like this was realistic found footage. The two main characters made dumb decisions throughout, "I said I'm leaving at 2:00 with or without you! Oh nevermind...." "Hello? Did you hear that? What was that? Who's there? Stop kidding around!" And much much screaming and running.

Maybe some people tune in for the screaming and running but there wasn't enough good plot and dialogue to balance it out.

Bob's Burgers: Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl (2014) Season 5, Episode 1

One of My Favorites!

[10/10 · 22 September 2023]

This episode gets a rare 10/10 stars from me.

The song writers have definitely outdone themselves and must have had a great time putting this all together! The songs have the "play on words" instances that remind me of popular musicals. The lyrics "I'm Hans Gruber! Consider yourself Grubed!" made me laugh out loud. Well it's not Sondheim, but... One of my favorite things about the show in general is that in way too many cartoons or shows any kid who is the least bit "different" or quirky is made the object of ridicule and has few friends. The Belcher kids may be peculiar in their own way but they're rarely made fun of for it and have friends, although Louise would probably not admit it. Great show!

Skeleton Crew (2009 Video)

Bad Bad Bad

[3/10 · 13 February 2023]

I fell prey to a decent trailer and intriguing plot line. Unfortunately, that's all it really had.

Bad acting, plot full of holes, and one of my biggest pet peeves: too many characters who look so much alike that it's hard to tell who's who, and not one of them is sympathetic enough to merit caring about.

The only thing it had going for it in my opinion, the gore effects and blood weren't half bad, which was surprising to me considering how bad the rest of the movie was.

Throw in gratuitous backside nudity that brought nothing to the plot, and a plot device that attempted to jump on the "Cabin in the Woods" bandwagon, and you've got a true mess of a movie.

The Black Phone (2021)

Underwhelmed

[6/10 · 8 July 2022]

I gotta jump on the "meh" bandwagon on this one... Went to see The Black Phone cause of the decent IMDB rating, kept hoping it was going to get better or there would be a twist that would change it up for me. Disappointed.

I would compare it to maybe a "Goosebumps" or "Fear Street" entry for kids or tweens.

There were all sorts of plot items that were of no bearing to the story, characters that were downright goofy and took away any scary mood, like Dewey in the Scream series. The younger sister spoke like no grade schooler I've ever known, and ended up being just annoying.

Might have appreciated some background info on the Grabber as well..

Plus they REALLY go out of the way to set the time frame. We get it, it's the seventies....

I give it a resounding "meh", 6/10.

Into the Dark: Pilgrim (2019) Season 2, Episode 2

I Liked It!

[8/10 · 22 March 2022]

Wasn't half bad, actually. Tongue-in-cheek macabre home-invasion story, decent acting, likeable heroine, and believably evil bad guys. Plenty of nasty gore without being over-the-top, and self-aware "breaking the fourth wall" end credits. Would be a nice double feature with Krampus.

Play or Die (2019)

They made a movie but didn't invite the audience...?

[4/10 · 18 February 2022]

I am left very confused after watching this, as there is so much left unanswered. Halfway through I had to check if this was a sequel or part two of something as it felt like we were just dropped into the middle of a story that was already underway..

Characters would manifest injuries throughout with no explanation, suddenly "come to" shackled somewhere; who transported them..? Were they unconscious and how did that come about..? Someone turns up dead, before you know it the body turns up in a totally different room.

And of course, the problem with so many escape room plotlines, the riddles and problems are breezed through so quickly and smoothly that the audience is left grasping for any idea on how they came to that solution.

Less-than-stellar acting, silly dialogue, I'm left waiting for too many answers that never come.

Safer at Home (2021)

One sentence review

[5/10 · 26 September 2021]

Seven irritating people with no redeeming qualities overacting and grimacing into the camera for 90 minutes. The end.

Free Guy (2021)

Loved It!

[9/10 · 15 August 2021]

So glad I saw it in the theater! It was funny, charming, intelligent, full of Easter eggs, and it wasn't all that difficult to disassociate Ryan Reynolds from Deadpool. Gotta think there was a bit of ad-libbing going on during filming. Would watch it again in a heartbeat!

Fear Street: Part One - 1994 (2021)

Not THAT bad..

[6/10 · 15 July 2021]

Ok, I get it. It's not very historically accurate. The soundtrack has songs that weren't all before 1994. It's cliched. The characters are unlikable. Etc.

However, I don't think it deserves quite such low ratings. Suspend disbelief a little bit! It's not fabulous but its watchable, more so than a LOT of Netflix movies. And personally, I liked the soundtrack.

Hosts (2020)

Why all the hate?

[9/10 · 25 June 2021]

While I'm usually suspicious of across-the-board 10/10 reviews, same goes for a stream of 1/10 reviews. A group vendetta...? Not sure.

While I admit the movie left a few things unanswered or up to your own interpretation, I thought the whole vibe was really creepy, the acting was good, genuine jump scares, and a couple kill scenes that i swear i could feel myself.

There were some religious paintings in the house that had symbolism connected to the story, I may have to watch it again to see what I missed.

Don't believe all the hate, watch it for yourself, it deserves better than 1/10 ratings.

Spiral (2021)

Save your money..

[5/10 · 16 May 2021]

As with a lot of reviewers, I had high hopes for this movie since there was first talk of it. Can't verbalize how disappointed I am now that I've seen it.

Each and every overused cop movie trope and cliche was used. Some more than once. Chris Rock had one expression the entire movie, which was a confused/angry/squinty grimace. Unfortunately, his acting left a lot to be desired, and I half expected him to break into a comic bit. His precinct associates were overblown stereotypes. Way too many instances of "that wouldn't ever happen that way" that I could not "suspend disbelief" for very long.

The supposed connection to the actions of Jigsaw was so loose that I'm pretty sure you could remove that aspect of the story and it wouldn't make a difference at all.

Not to mention you could figure the identity of the perpetrator from a mile away despite the dozens of red herrings thrown around, and the traps set didn't hold a candle to the earlier movies.

Best part of the experience was getting back into a real theater, but finding a movie funny that is supposed to be scary and suspenseful was definitely a downer.

Cinema Toast (2021– )

Meh...

[6/10 · 15 May 2021]

Well, it's not a new concept to take old B movies and redub them with different dialogue, it's just not always easy to make it actually funny. Intercutting scenes from separate films into the same storyline makes it more confusing, and the performances of the voice actors is just lackluster and boring. Find yourself some old Mystery Science Theater shows instead.

Wrong Turn (2021)

So disappointed..

[4/10 · 6 April 2021]

I'm left pretty stunned by this movie in general, and not in a good way.. As a writer, you'd think there would be some reasoning that if you're gonna create this community deep in the woods living off the land for hundreds of years, you may have to explain how there's a perfect underground tunnel system complete with wrought iron gates, lighting that's beyond the capability of a few torches, the costume design is cliched Hunger Games meets Lord of the Flies, and the men are smartly groomed like they just strolled out of a salon.

Web reviews say it's a deep allegory on today's society, class struggles, traditionalism and all, I just think it was a waste of time and effort. And don't get me started on the ending(s)....

Vile (2011)

Vile, indeed...

[3/10 · 4 April 2021]

This movie was "torture porn" defined, but with no character background or development, meaning I didn't give a fiddler's fart what happened to any of them, plus there wasn't much to like about them anyway. A couple of them were so nonchalant about being in a life or death situation you'd think they did it every day. Not much of an explanation on why they were being experimented on or by whom, or what the heck happened to them in the end. So pretty much the whole movie was an excuse for bodily harm and to show as much blood and suffering as possible. Yawn.

Child Eater (2016)

Ugh, where do I start...

[5/10 · 1 April 2021]

I did have hope for this movie, it started out well; good concept, fair enough acting, the first half hour or so was promising. After that it was plot holes, bad acting, questionable character behavior, and lighting so bad it was impossible to tell what was happening much of the time. Plot points introduced and forgotten, and our final girl, despite being stabbed, attacked with a hatchet, and one eye gouged out, is able to overtake the bad guy twice her size. As the saying goes, this is 82 minutes I'll never get back.

The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)

Meh...

[5/10 · 30 March 2021]

At just under 2 hours, this movie was FAR too long to hold my attention, along with not being able to figure out what on earth was going on most of the time. Ryan Reynolds trying hard not to be Deadpool, and Samuel L Jackson playing the same foul-mouthed, smart-aleck character he does in each film he's in. There was no discernible chemistry between either of them and their oddly chosen significant other. I did watch it to the end despite losing interest before it was half over. No recommendation from me.

Love and Monsters (2020)

Nice!

[9/10 · 12 January 2021]

As people have said, the plot is a direct rehash of Zombieland; young male protagonist with 4th wall commentary, Michael Rooker doing his best Woody Harrelson impersonation, the trek to someplace safe, numbered list of survival rules, the "does she or doesn't she" love me female interest, yadda yadda.. That all could have spelled disaster, but it was done really well, good writing and dialogue, good acting, if Covid-Palooza had not happened, I hope this would have been in the theater rather than on my tiny tablet. Great movie!

Light from the Tower (2020)

Waste of Time

[4/10 · 4 January 2021]

Hard to put this movie in any specific category as it wasn't funny, scary, thriller, sci-fi, romance.....I suppose it could be called a mystery cause I had no clue what the hell was going on or why I should care. Irritating and unlikable characters, bad acting, and did I mention there's no discernible plot to speak of...? Thank the lord I didn't pay good money for this. Yuk.

Reverb (2008)

Wait, what..?

[7/10 · 13 December 2020]

I had no preconceived thoughts on this movie, found it randomly on YouTube. I liked so much of it; the acting was good, spooky original concept, creepy atmosphere. YouTube left me with crummy sound and no subtitles which didn't help. I was left not understanding a fair amount of what was going on, plus three of the male actors looked so similar I found it hard to figure who was who much of the time. Maybe I'll find a decent explanation at some point.

The Shed (I) (2019)

I liked it!

[9/10 · 4 September 2020]

I thought it was a nice change from some of the straight-to-Red Box drivel I've happened upon lately. Sure, it was reminiscent of "Fright Night", "Christine", etc, but it was it's own tale; well written, good acting, likeable protagonists, solid story. I'd watch it again!

The Vanished (2020)

On The Fence

[7/10 · 21 August 2020]

I'm still not sure if I actually liked this movie or not.....there was so much going on, odd subplots, and unresolved non-issues that made it all confusing. For starters, it was at least 45 minutes too long, several times I thought it was gonna wrap up, then off they went again in a new direction. A lot of character behavior that didn't seem terribly believable; I found myself laughing at parts that weren't supposed to be funny. And they made darn sure you knew that EVERY minor character could be the "bad guy" by giving them all exaggerated creepy habits, tics, and secrets that were quite over the top.

It was plenty suspenseful in many places but at times again ventured into is-that-supposed-to-be-funny....?

I give it a resounding "meh".

It Came from the Desert (2017)

I Really Liked It!

[9/10 · 2 August 2020]

Gotta be "that guy" and say that the haters just don't "get it". This is a cheesy, fun homage to 80's teen and mutant animal horror movies. Cliched dialogue, a rockin' soundtrack, obligatory montages, typical teen-movie stereotype characters, and it doesn't take itself seriously. The acting is good, sometimes overdramatic and unrealistic, but it's meant to be! Glad to have stumbled upon this movie.!