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The 2nd (2020)
3/10
Waste of Ammo and time.
22 February 2022
The script is ok, the acting is ok well they aint DeNiro and DiCaprio so cant expect too much. I could nt get how a Green Beret, Delta Force , etc etc would shoot so many bullet at a brick wall in a corridor. I conserve better Ammo in playing Apex or COD.

Casper Van Dien was more ruthless, could have had him playing both parts and id have gave it 5 out of 10.

The action is so so, but if hes Special Forces im expecting him to be more ruthless.
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Age of Ice (2014 Video)
1/10
A true disaster of a movie
18 January 2022
I wont put any major spoilers in this review because the whole movie is a major spoiler of your time on earth. The plot preposterous. The acting absolutely terrible. The little boy runs away all the time, he comes back, family hug and repeat that 8 times. The father started off ok, but as soon as the snow came, any acting ability went. The mother, well could have saved money by hiring. The daughter terrible, even her slushy looks at the hero. The scene of 5 dots wee falling down a snow covered pyramid is laughable.
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Out of Death (2021)
1/10
Woeful wilderness rubbish
2 November 2021
Bruce Willis is slumming it. The scenery is great. Though i felt they ran round a small back garden..The acting is preposterous, the script and dialogue shameful and music is like some rock soundtrack. Bruce Willis might as well be Bruce Forsythe its unbelievable how he accepted this role .. Watched on Netflix .
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10/10
An annual Christmas Fav
12 December 2020
I won't spoil this but to say this is a fabulous film. It's actually one I did not like the first time I watched it, but now the fourth time I've watched it over the years the better it's became. The animation is very good, the story excellent with great humour. The spirit of Santa is up there with Miracle on 34th Street. Just realised now it's Hugh Laurie's voice as Steve and not Chris Barrie. Jim Broadbent fab as always and James McAvoy is enthusiastic and also sad as Arthur the worrier. As said at beginning it's a film that grows through the years and is a modern Christmas Classic..
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Polar (I) (2019)
7/10
Grim, Gory, Gratuitous and Good
26 January 2019
This popped up on opening Netflix one night and Mads Mikkelson is an appealing actor. The film follows an assassin two weeks away from receiving a pension. Sadly its a pension his bosses do not wish him to receive. There are shades of John Wick. Sin City and Watchmen graphic sex and violence. For a film on Netflix i can see it being slated and it will be a turn off for many. Madsen waltzes through this film, as much as Keanu Reeves did in John Wick. Matt Lucas as Blut is pretty much an evil Elton John baddie or crazed Little Britain character. The ATeam of assassins sent after Duncan were I suppose very good at playing naff streotypical characters. Kathern Winnick stood out for me too. Its worth a watch and may grow on some people, but many will find it to much to stomach.
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Strange Magic (2015)
7/10
Shows ugliness is beautiful.
26 December 2018
I don't know why so many people slate this movie. Yeah it's got a few stereotypes or things that have been done before but what movie has not. The animation is good, the songs mmhhhh not so good, probably ok for a kid. In the end just like Beauty and the Beast, Toy Story etc beauty is only skin deep and it's what's inside that counts. It's worth a watch.
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10/10
Vaughan is Violence in measured way.
21 October 2017
Seen Vince Vaughan talk about this film on UK Jonathan Ross show and showed Vaughan destroying his characters car. The film is the portrayal of a drug runner , who gets sent to prison when a drug deal goes wrong. Bradley Thomas is our character, who says little, mean and moody. The film seems to follow a path you inking is going to be formulaic. Once Bradleys wife gets kidnapped and her unborn baby is threatened, Bradley is at the drug dealers bidding or so you believe. The film then becomes a violent somewhat masterpiece. Fight scenes are not for squeamish and perhaps gruesome. Vaughan plays these perfectly. I did think some of the effects were not great. Then thought well maybe in that way the film loses a bit of seriousness but in some ways the story is implausible. The film is well worth seeing if you like gritty violence. I will be looking out for the writer and directors other movies. The film also contains the filthiest toilet since Trainspotting..
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Hulk (2003)
7/10
Ahead of its time - Good back story
21 May 2016
If you saw this when it first came out, you would probably have hated the split screen cut away's etc The story seemed complicated at the time and it was the first re-enactment since the TV series so a lot of the audience had a sentimental attachment to Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno. I've watched this on TV over the years and for some reason I am strongly drawn to it. I just think its underrated. Watching it now 21st May 2016 I think it does fit in with the Marvel Universe and offers a good backstory especially of his love for Betty Ross. The affects are not totally bad as when you watch you become more enthralled with the story. I am still not a fan of the split screen/24 dual story imaging but otherwise I think it is an underrated film. I'm neither DC or Marvel i'm more the action hero and for me it was always Superman and Spiderman /Incredible Hulk as the also rans. Superman was just the hero. As a kid growing up nothing more i'd love to do sometimes would be wear a shirt id grown out of and try and do muscular stretches at 10 and burst that old school shirt. This film has grown on me now i'm 43 and while I did n't like it at the time its grown on me the more I've seen it over the years on TV. Superman Returns V Hulk then this wins as Superman Returns was such a missed opportunity. Casting is great Bana,Elliot,Connelly and even Nolte buying into comic book Folk Lore for the time. When I first watched Hulk id have given it a 5.5 i'd now have to say its worth a 7. The special effects are not bad still - ie they draw you in and you don';t question the rendering like some tech head. The story seems easier to understand and HULK as a character fits in with the current Avengers Marvel Universe. Overall it's a film thats aged well and should be up-rated rather than under rated.
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A Horse Tale (2015)
6/10
An afternoons so-so entertainment
3 December 2015
Must be the season for watching Charisma Carpenter as this is the second film of hers I have seen on UK's Channel 5. The other being Obsession. Any ways did n't set out to watch this and I guess I persevered with it. Patrick Muldoon the accountant, arrives to sort out a farm whose owners have come into debt via poor financial management. Romance develops between our accountant and Charisma one of the farm owners. Obviously there are some baddies involved, who want a horse called Holly for some reason. The film goes along so-so. For once I thought the child acting was actually pretty good, not cringable which I find in US dramas. The acting I thought with all the major characters I found pretty good, I thought it was the writing or maybe direction which let it down in some way. At times I thought Muldoon/Carpenter/Swain were rescuing it. Well the film ended with a tiny surprise in one way. I could n't see me watching it again. It is a family film I guess and I suppose if I had children would watch it with them, but could nt see them rush to watch it again either.

This film is called A Christmas Promise in UK and a Horse Tail in US. Think perhaps Holly's Christmas Tail might have been better.

PS, Charisma Carpenter definitely needs to be on TV more.
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The Eagle (2011)
4/10
The Eagle, more like The Wounded Pidgeon
25 March 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Spoilers ********

Went to see this with a friend as she liked historical dramas, any more choices like this from her and she will be history. The film is about the search for a eagle figure head lost in battle from the Romans and now in Northern Britons hands.

The film was always going to be compared to Hollywood blockbusters but if it's done well, then it can stand out on it's own, sadly this does n't. For me the first battle was when it all went downhill. There is a battle at a fort and our hero, well against the negativety of his underling, decides to prepare for battle. A battle ensues in the fort and he acts heroically. The fight scenes here could have been so good, the stage seems brilliant, but we are left with camera work where you can't see what's entirely happening, (think Transformers where the robots blend into each other), not enough gore or maiming which happens with weapons. There's another battle soon after and yet again it falls short.

We have a scene with Donald Sutherland doing his now routine elder statesmen role, turn up for 5 mins, give the voice of experience and then onto next movie. Here he seems to turn up for 3 mins 30 and realises eh, mmmhhhh lets appear on a UK talk show rather than finish rest of film.

Anyways the search for the eagle figurehead starts and we have our hero and his new slave on their own. The two lead actors I did not have a problem with at all, give credit where credit is due, they are passable in their roles. We head north past Hadrians Wall, bump into Mark Strong, who has survived a battle in which the Eagle was lost. So we meet the typical Scottish people, that we all sort of know, then there's the little settlement a la Braveheart which is fine. The weather as us Scot's know wet n wild, so some warn clothes etc.

We then meet the Seals, who seem like a race from Last of the Mohicans. I cannot say whether it's accurate or not. As warriors the Seal's run about the highlands scantily clad, with mohican hardo's, as said above Scotland is Scotland, would they really wear next to nothing. All the outdoor shops I know in Glasgow, don't sell a pair of boxer shorts to go walking in the Highlands.

Back at the story, there's a bit of role reversal, slave becomes master. The story itself is not too bad on paper, it whats happened to it when it's got on screen. We have one final fight scene and its like a mini scene from 300, except there are only about 16 soldiers against a force of say 90. 16, if I ever see this film again i'd love to count how many were standing across the river. Battle ensues, Romans and Seals get killed. Seal leader dies, and well eh battle ends, yet there must be a good 50 Seals left against 9 Romans, but hey the Seals must have went home. So bodies of Romans lying on the riverbank and seems like there is a body count of 12 dead and about 8 survivors, I did n't think this is what the term 'extras', meant.

Finally it's back to as another reviewer has said, the English Branch of the Roman Empire where they have what appears to be instant access to the Roman Senate and can hand out accolades instantly. Significantly Donald Sutherland is nowhere to be seen, I think everyone in the cinema and walking out at the end wished they had his foresight.

This film could have been better, the battle scenes for me are where it really let itself down, it could have made a niche for itself. The acting is reasonable, use of subtitles when Gaelic or native language, great views of Scotland. A lot of reviews on here have been from America , giving this film high scores, which it simply cannot deserve.
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Walk Away and I Stumble (2005 TV Movie)
5/10
Sadly very lacking.
20 November 2005
ITV had built this up quite a lot as something you would not want to miss. Turned out it was something you would want to miss. There was a lot of potential about this story. However I believe they focused on the wrong things. The relationship between Andy and Claire just seemed nothing more than a one night stand. Yeah I know it was meant to be passionate, but just seemed to be had sex one night accept that they love each other and next part of the story. Considering this was on for two nights at 90 mins each it was a sloppy piece of work. Mark Strong (Andy) and Julie Graham (Elaine) were good and performed well, did feel like a husband and wife. Tamzin well she just seems to get big jobs for her looks and they just end up being projects that you think oh not another one. Though I don't think Gwyneth Paltrow could have saved this. Was just a mess and built up to be a heart felt, tear jerking drama. I watched this with the girl friend and I was in tears thinking could it last any longer. Finally did like the music Kate Bush.
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The Wonderful World of Disney: The Love Bug (1997)
Season 1, Episode 11
Disney, oh dear why did you bother???
22 February 2003
I watched this on TV and persevered to the end. Like most Herbie fans I saw the films as a kid and I'm watching this as a 30 year old, so maybe my feelings are a bit off. After watching the film I came away with the feeling more so that Disney was at fault for this disaster rather than Herbie not having any mileage.

The script is decent enough for a kids movie, but its the action sequences that are just so poor. The special effects are really bad and putting myself as a kid I'd have to say that they looked amateurish. In previous versions of Herbie there was a sense of believability about Herbies capabilities and that was lost in this version. Horace the Evil VW seemed under utilised, they should n't have killed him off. The most annoying thing for me was there was just no sense of speed or tension. When Herbie was split down the middle I just had no sympathy for my fave VW at all.

The acting is well, run of the mill. I guess most of the cast were not busy and it was money for nothing. I think this was John Hannahs first vehicle in the US market and he was reasonable. Liked his line where Herbie is split in two and he says 'oh a drivethru'. Bruce Campbell does it by the numbers. Dean Jones you can just imagine was the first person Disney phoned when they said they were going to make this. Still his attendance on this movie is needed and for fans of yester year well its a good touch.

The thing about this film is, if you had kids and they seen this first then it would be nigh on impossible to make them watch the early superior outings of one of the most famous cars in movie history.
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The Gentleman Bandit (1981 TV Movie)
Straight forward made for TV Movie
20 February 2003
Ralph Waite plays a priest wrongly charged of doing robberies of convenience stores. Jerry Zaks plays a Jewish lawyer who takes his case and sets about proving his innocence. Supposedly a true story it's a by the numbers movie. Waite is his usual appealing self, the sort of guy who reminds you of your grand father. Zaks, who I've never seen before,(looks a bit like Peter McNicol) is perhaps the star of the show with a good performance. The film is worth watching once if you like watching Ralph Waite, but it is perhaps 10 minutes to long.
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Naked Video (1986–1991)
One of the best sketch shows of the 80's
10 December 2002
Naked Video in my mind followed in the tradition of Not the Nine O'Clock News and A Kick Up The Eighties. It was made up of mainly a Scots cast with the exception of Helen Lederer. Helen Lederer mainly did this piece where she would talk about her characters life and what had happened in it the previous week. There used to be a Welsh guy in this slot and I'm fairly sure the two of them were never in the same show.

Gregor Fisher and Andy Gray seemed to be the main comedians in this show, but all the other cast made it the great show it was. Gregor had some fantastic characters like the guy from Outer Hebridies Broadcasting Corp, the guy with the comb over hair and also I'm sure this was the birthplace of Rab C Nesbitt. Andy Grey will always be remembered mainly as Chancer from City Lights but he has a classic character in this show as a poser who seemed to be from Miami Vice.

The show was broadcast on BBC2 and lasted a couple of series. Naked Video is sometimes repeated on cable & satellite and you'll find that some of the modern sketch shows have borrowed a bit but have n't managed to convey the sheer funniness of the original.
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Double Scotch & Wry (1987 Video)
Make mine a Double
8 December 2002
Scotch & Wry was a seasonal comedy shown in Scotland at Hogmany just before the bells till the late 1990s. Double Scotch & Wry is a compilation of two shows from the 1980's.

Scotch & Wry is synonymous with Rikki Fulton and this outing has some classic moments. SuperCop will crack you up when he meets Taggart. Theres a cracking version of The Curries and there's also Big Chief Swifthalf.

This is part of my video collection and I had not watched it in a good 10 years, it will still bring many a smile to your face.

Gregor Fischer, Tony Roper and others do a brilliant job in supporting, well joining with Rikki Fulton to make some of the best Scots TV comedy ever made.
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Still Game (2002–2019)
Scottish comedy at its best, once again.
10 September 2002
Jack and Victor from Chewin' the Fat now have a show of their own and if the first episode is anything to go by then success is a certainty. The first episode was about Victors next door neighbour dying and Jacks attempts at getting the house and removal day. A nice little subplot was the grandson trying to be a boxer. As per usual there was lots of originality and typical Scot's humour. One of the best scenes was all Jacks worldly possessions going up in flames in a dodgy removal van. Of the new characters I liked was the Asian shopkeeper and his wife. The wife you never seen her face, that sort of reminded me of the next door neighbour in Home Improvements. Shot on location in Maryhill, Glasgow its good to see old characters played so well. Possibly only Harry Enfield has ever made being an old git so funny.
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Recipe for Revenge (1998 TV Movie)
7/10
A tastey snack of a movie.
10 September 2002
Warning: Spoilers
Contains Spoilers

Saw this one afternoon and it started of as typical US fair. A woman sees a murder and a cop is assigned to protect her at her home. Slowly they develop feeling for each other and they end up together in the end, after sorting out the killer etc.

Corben Benson plays the murderer but there is a nice little sub plot near the end.

What I liked most about this movie was that when the couple did kiss in the end the titles did n't come up. The movie continued for a few minutes showing the morning after. Quite often in these movies and indeed major movies as soon as people kiss the movies over and the viewer is left wondering what happens next.

This is the first Kym Huffman movie I have seen and she looked really sexy in the French maids outfit and the apron at the end. She played her scenes very well and worked well with Alex Carter.

All in all a nice movie and worth watching.
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Dying to Live (1999 TV Movie)
Surprisingly well worth watching.
8 April 2002
Was up late one night, channel hopping and this just started and missed the beginning credits, so I did not really have a clue what it was about.

Started of as the usual teen flick, with a guy having a psycho for an ex-girlfriend who now has a problem adjusting to the fact that he has found someone new. The new girlfriend gets murdered with the boyfriend as chief suspect and surprise, surprise the psychopath being everyones Miss Innocent, well apart from one lady detective. The murder victim becomes an angel and Johnathan Frakes is her guide who helps her to prove to the world what really happened. Mr Frakes seems to have the same wardrobe as in that paranormal/weird happenings show he does. Throughout the film I felt he had ulterior motives, I was wondering is he a good angel or a baddie.

The film itself has that made for TV feel about it, however its very well acted by all. Special mention must be for the three main females who play each of their parts well. The script throughout is never too slushy or biblical. A sort of mixture between Ghost and an episode of Highway to Heaven. All in all a very good film for its genre and worth watching. Nice little twist at the end, which I was not expecting.
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