boe_dye Reviews

Soul (2020)

A delightful tale!

[8/10 · 26 December 2022]

Certainly one of the more original Pixar films I have seen in while, just about everything in it was great. The animation style was challenging and original, the characters were likeable and the overall story was thought provoking.

The music, most especially was wonderful; all of these elements pulled together to make a fun and delightful tale.

The only thing I did not like was the ending. The ending was too vague and open ended. It did not really resolve much (in a sense), and more or less devolved into less than satisfying motif. There was no actual resolution to Joe "making it", nor was there any actual final closure for Joe. He just "lived" as it were.

Personally I think it would have been much more satisfying for Joe to have realized that his life could have had meaning both on and off the stage -- instead it almost seemed like he pursued neither (or both) depending on how you wanted to interpret the ending.

Otherwise, I still think it was a great film and worth a watch!

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

Two Stars for Music and Stunning, Incredible visuals.

[2/10 · 16 September 2022]

And that's really just about it.

The biggest problem with the series is that it wants to stand on the weight of Tolkien, but instead of standing on the shoulder of a giant, the weight is an anchor.

Simply, it does not move or breath like the world of Tolkien, but instead a generic fantasy epic. If The Rings had been called anything else, it likely would have actually been pretty palatable. Unfortunately what people nowadays no longer seem to appreciate is the pedigree that comes with a name.

For certain, you can slap a sticker on a plastic lunchbox that says it's the thing, but that is all it is: An empty, plastic thing with a sticker. I read a majority of reviews on this, everyone giving their credentials as to why their thoughts are the most valid, and I see all sorts of accusations which seem to become more of a sidestep, than actually examining the content of the show.

Here is my takeaway: Visuals are not enough. Yes, the animation and visuals and sets are some of the finest on any screen. It's gorgeous to look at. The score too, is fantastic. Bear McCreary is a competent and talented composer and I've enjoyed his work since Battlestar Galactica. These two elements are universally accepted and undisputed as being the strong points of the shows.

Unfortunately all the visuals in the world mean nothing if you don't have a story and a cast that is able to carry the story. In this case, both are lacking. The Elves (all of them), act more like human diplomats with pointy ears. They do not move or act or carry themselves as Tolkien Elves. Perhaps in another type of world, this would have been fine. However they lack the grace, elegance, and ethereal nature that Tolkien describes, as well as the majestic appearance and long hair. These Elves are more like Romans, while the mortals or "humans" are more like the Vandals or Goths... barbaric and somewhat savage.

The Dwarves are surprisingly palatable, until you get to Durin who whines that his immortal friend, Elrond, didn't visit him for 20 years or so. This plot point for a long lived race just came off as overzealous without taking into the consideration that folk who live for hundred and hundred of years have a vastly different perspective of time.

The Harfoots, I would say actually came off as pretty reasonably accurate. Proto-hobbits. Ironically, Tolkien stated that if ever he were to write more in the world of Middle Earth, he'd likely not have much to do with Hobbits regardless, so you work with what you have.

From what I've watched, and beyond this I wont be watching anything else, the story (such as it is), is tropey, and cliche. I never really was immersed in the world as it comes off more as Game of Thrones Lite. The dialogue is more modern at times trying to pass off as old and aged. The costume design is cheap and generic looking, and the character interaction are hostile and unkind; everyone seems like they are trying to prove something to someone else rather than questing together. Instead you have a "go it alone, my way or the highway, leave people behind approach", which is not in any way how the Tolkien mythos works.

For whatever reasons, the powers that be and the writers of today have managed to mismanage almost everything they touch. It's not the aesthetic of the series that's the problem, it is the narcissistic, can-do-no-wrong-if-I-just-throw-money-at-it attitude that is the problem. It lacks heart and soul, and is simply LOTR in name only.

The Spine of Night (2021)

It wants to be Fire and Ice, but it's not.

[4/10 · 13 April 2022]

While a good homage is often a delightful journey to the shoulders of giants in which you stand, this film unfortunately does not get off the ground.

Fire and Ice, as well as Heavy Metal (which are incomparable to each other) are both classics in animation. Both told stories, and both overcame the odds to win the day, and both had a whole lot of sex appeal (not necessarily coital, but sexiness in general).

The men were often strong and defined, the woman were voluptuous and empowered.

This film takes the styling well enough (albeit a bit sloppy), and it has the action... but it is action and violence for the sake of action and violence. The Flower is little more than the Locknar, Tzod is an offbrand Teegra or Taarna, and Ghal-Sur is more or less offbrand Necron.

The biggest problem with the film is that it really doesn't resolve anything, and like a lot of post modern story telling, things happen, more things happen, and then it's over. No actual resolution, no actual anything other than the cycle begins again, defeating the whole purpose.

And the worst, if not the most distracting part was the serious lack of sexiness. Many of the characters looked like they were based off of a comic convention, and Tzod (Lucy Lawless) was not at all drawn in any way that struck myself or my wife as strong or empowering -- she was basically naked for the sake of being naked, and stuck out amongst all the generally strong and defined characters of the film.

At least with Teegra and Taarna you could see that they were drawn in a way that cared about how a epic real woman ought look Tzod more or less reminds me of how Druuna runs around naked for no real reason other than she just loses her clothes... and well... yea...

If you are looking for borish, violence for the sake of violence along with poorly drawn bewbs and muff, and a potentially good story-line with no real resolution, here you go. Also, I wouldn't exactly call it "Ultra-Violent", either. There are a dozen or so Anime's that come to mind that are far more gristly and visceral than this, most of them made in the 80's and 90's back when animation was interesting, and story's were actually told.

Def not worth the $7 Rental on iTunes, either.

The King's Man (2021)

No, its not the first... its classy!

[10/10 · 6 April 2022]

The first Kingsmen was just all sorts of great, has loads of replay value, and is just fun! The second one was mediocre and incredibly campy and borish.

This was just enjoyable. It has a solid story, a fantastic cast, great character development, and uses historical fiction to tell a tale. Some of the reviewers I feel nitpick over the lackluster CGI, to which I answer: Go play a video game if you want the latest CGI.

The main separation between this and the first is the class of The Kingsmen. The first movie is about a punk learning to be a gentleman. This is how the gentleman forms the organization that eventually teaches the punk. It has class, honor, heroism, action, adventure, tragedy and romance, and does what so many movies fail to do: it adds a bit of suspense by not revealing the villain until the very end.

Highly enjoyed the movie -- I hope they can make a follow up as good as this!

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

Just when you think all that was needed to be said, had been said

[1/10 · 5 January 2022]

You find out that you were right, nothing more needed to be said..

This movie was just a pointless, soulless addendum to a franchise that never should have gone beyond the first movie.

It tried to be meta, and in a sense it was, which happened to be it's downfall. For the most part it was the equivalent of a compilation album that relied mostly on flashbacks and cutscenes and sly edits to tell whatever story it was telling.

Most of it made no sense, and not in the "I need to watch this a dozen times over just to wrap my head around it sense", but instead a "this makes no sense because it makes no actual sense". It lacked coherency and could not even answer the question as to why it was made.

While it had some interesting ideas.. kind of... the only real standout was the Merovingian's mad rant about how everything is awful, nothing is real, and the internet has sucked the life out of everything good for the all mighty proliferation of content, and the mindless usage of smartphones has turned everyone into drones who crave discord, violence and misery and not peace, which is ultimately what powers the Matrix... or the internet hate machine.

It's almost a perfect movie for today's day and age, it was there, and now it's gone... a forgotten relic of a more refined era.

OH, and "Machines" is now a pejorative, and their preferred proper noun is "Synthients".

I almost get the sense that the singular Wachowski involved in this tactfully and thoroughly trashed their own creation, simply to never be bothered to make another one ever again -- and I absolutely hope that this series is laid to rest, forever.

Utopia (2020)

So edgy, it's dull

[1/10 · 25 June 2021]

Before I was about to right this, I happened across another reviewer whose sentiments were similar to mine. In my case I never watched the original British Series, so I can only speak on my experience of watching this.

While I can appreciate the freedom that the likes of Netflix and Amazon have with original series that aren't under the standards and practices of the likes of the FCC and the MPA, by and large these series devolve into infantile, Young Adult Narratives with dialogue written by someone who just learned how to use swear words, as well as crass and unnecessary scenes.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for a violent film and am certainly not prudish towards sex, violence, or swearing. What I am against is this endless millennial appeal to be hip and edgy. If you are going to swear, swear because it adds inflection, not because you have nothing better to say and are just using words to fill up time. If you are going to kill, kill because there is a point, not because you want to shock viewers with gore porn, and if you are going to have sex and nudity (which was not in this, but to further a point as to the problem I have with today's media) do so because it adds to the story, not because your story is lacking and the only way to entice people to watch is for the hopes of a naked body.

Upon watching we got to the third episode, and simply gave up. All of the characters are unhinged and contribute nothing of value. They were boorish and contrived and at points, largely unnecessary.

While the story could have been compelling and the premise is certainly interesting, it is entirely lost on a weak cast who lack character or gravitas -- as I said prior, it was more like watching a Young Adult novel where the writer had very little grasp of the human condition, but it doesn't really matter anyhow because the target demographic (i.e. Young Adults) lack the experience in life to adequately know or understand the human condition, and in the end all the viewer really wants is edginess.

Could have been good, but after three episodes it is easy to see why this was canceled.

Loki (2021–2023)

A boring therapy session

[2/10 · 12 June 2021]

The Marvel that I had grown up with is long dead and gone. In it's place is an infantile, and dorky narrative that has very little depth or intrigue.

Now, before anyone tries to say "but comics were always infantile and dorky", I'll just point to J. Michael Straczynski and Frank Miller, both who did some of the most epic 616 Universe Runs that added depth to the characters and story lines. Further more, how quickly Daredevil has been forgotten and buried. That Marvel is gone, and it's not coming back.

When the MCU started it was awe inspiring. The original Iron Man, Cap, and yes... even Thor had a sense of "wow, this could happen" moments. Now, the MCU is a lot like going to a convention and seeing poorly made cosplayers pretending to be whomever they want to be.

While Hiddleston and Wilson are decent enough, the rest of the casting is just unbelievable. At no point did I feel that anyone in this TVA were authoritative, or capable of being whomever they were supposed to be -- effectively, they are not selling their part. This feels very similar to when Marvel "kidified" their comic books into cartoons back in the 90's and we got the incredibly cringey X-Men Animated Series. Further, the premise in and of itself was not at all compelling, and wrapped up with a mini-therapy session where Loki talks about his feelings.

At this point I am resigned to acknowledge that Marvel is dead: The comics are barely to be found anywhere, the art is all digital and cartoonish, the dialogue consists of snarky one-liners, and the movies are just dorky sight gags.

If you know your Sci-Fi, you'll find this to be reminiscent of The Adjustment Bureau / Time Cop, with shades of the Fifth Element aesthetic tossed in, as well as Fall Out, and some incredibly bad green screen.

To wit, this doesn't look like anything to me... It's made for TV filler at best.

With that, until Disney actually produces or sells Marvel to someone who cares about comics and stories, make mine something else....

My Best Friend's Wedding (1997)

A reprehensible tale

[1/10 · 15 November 2020]

If anything, this movie is a cautionary tale. While the acting was good enough, the movie is as watchable in 2020 as it was in 1997. The problem lies in that it's an awful tale, filled with awful people who are morally and psychologically reprehensible.

Roberts character is that party girl who you would hook up with in college, but never take home to meet your mother. Mulroney (Michael) is that guy who likes the side fling, but wants the stability that comes with a loyal and loving wife, and Diaz' Kimberly is the naive college girl who gets stuck in the midst of this twisted love / not love triangle between Roberts and Mulroney's characters.

The ultimate problem with the film is that the only ones who would ultimately win out in the end are not Michael and Kimmy, but instead Micheal and Jules. Kimmy would eventually go on to resent giving up her life's ambitions and dreams to follow around Michael for however long, until they "settle down". However Michael, being the archtype that he is, would ultimately find satisfaction in having a periodic affair with Roberts character over the course of his marriage and relationship. It's almost a stereotypical narrative that has been told countless times over in real life. Michael knows almost nothing of Kimmy other than she is young and spunky, and reminiscent of something he used to want and perhaps be. Yet as Kimmy says to Jules: "He puts you on a pedestal, but he puts me in his arms". This is incredibly telling into the nature and psyche of Michael, who is ultimately an ego-maniac for pitting two woman at each other in order to figure out who actually loves him the most: the one who would go to great lengths to have him, or the the one who would forgive all of his sins and misdeeds no matter how poorly he treated her.

(and would ultimately forgive his eventual mistress as well... because... well... why not she's just 'loving')

In the end the only redeemable characters (I.E. the most honest) were Kimmy as the hapless, naive victim caught up in Michael and Jules' sadistic emotional game, and Rupert Everettes Gay BFF character, George.

The sad part is that as far as romantic comedies go, this one is as delusional as it's real life counterparts who actually think that such a scenario would end up with a happy ending, rather than 10+ years of distrust, unhappiness, infidelity, and most likely a broken family.

Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)

No... way...

[3/10 · 28 August 2020]

This is a movie that didn't need to be made.

While the opening scene was amusing, the rest of the movie was little more than a mashup of the first two movies. As a story it adds very little to the mythos and storyline of Bill and Ted, and quite frankly had more to do with their daughters (which is really no surprise).

Brigette Lundy-Paine actually did a remarkable job emulating the mannerisms of Keanu Reeves 25 years ago, but there just was no real chemistry between her and Samara Weaving, The ending of the film was basically just a rehashing of the ending of the second film where they did the thing and all the world unites (again) in harmony and song, with a maguffin device straight out of Doctor Who.

With the original(s) there was at least a sense of growth and maturation with Bill and Ted, overcoming an obstacle. In this, things happened, and then more things happened, and no one was really better or worse for it -- things just happened. Sadly, Hollywood is just bent on regurgitating everything that was delightful and fun 20 years ago, and is dragging everything kicking and screaming into the present. Many were saying this, myself included, that Bill and Ted, like Wayne and Garth, Jay and Silent Bob, Randal and Dante, Han and Chewie, exist in a time that is no longer, and there is no real place for them as they were back then today -- let them stay in the past, so we can build on the legacy for tomorrow.

Movies like Bill and Ted are locked in time, and today it just doesn't translate well. There was something interesting about Socrates, Billy the Kid, Abraham Lincoln, Joan of Arc, Sigmund Freud, and Beethoven that fit the narrative well: What would these historical figures think of San Dimas California in the then present time?

In this you just have an assortment of random, name dropped historical figures, Mozart, Hendrix, Louie Armstrong, some cave man on drums, Kid Cudi and a Chinese Flute Player, all who are just there for no real rhyme or reason, more so because they came up on an algorithm generated by Spotify or Apple Music based on "your personal likes".

For the most part, I found the story and the film to be lacking in any real substance (and this is comparing it to the not at all serious, light hearted BaT:EA and BaT:BJ), or point. It was just... there, and then it was done. It adds nothing new or interesting, and really doesn't have to be watched at all. As far as I am concerned Bill and Ted saved the universe 25 years ago, and I am content with that.

Knives Out (2019)

Mediocre and obvious

[1/10 · 24 July 2020]

**Probably Spoilers**

Like J.J. Abrams I do not get the appeal of Rian Johnson. The story as it is, really has nothing to do with the murder mystery (which isn't really a mystery -- you can pretty much guess what it's about in the first 10 minutes), but more so about a singular character.

The film moves from one scene to the next, telling you every little thing that is happening rather than showing you -- a major flaw in the past ten years of cinema. Movies used to show you a story, now they are all about telling you the story rather than allowing it to unfold with good acting.

I was bored about 15 minutes in and by 30 minutes I had just decided to skip all the way to the end (not that I had seemingly missed much) and sure enough the outcome was what I thought it was going to be. As I stated above, in the first 10 minutes you ought be able to at least put together what's going to happen much like you could with Shutter Island.

Not really sure how people compare this to a good Agatha Christy novel, and in many ways this is like a very poorly written mix between The Orient Express, Clue, and the Last Express (the game by Jordan Mechner). Boorish, juvenile, kind of pointless and not at all worth the time it takes to watch it for free on Prime or Netflix.

I'm not sure if this was an apology to Daniel Craig and Christopher Plummer for their "roles" in Star Wars, and supposedly somewhere in this film was an underlying trolling to the Star Wars fans who hated the Last Jedi -- if there was I completely missed it, but probably because certain folks just can't meme.

OH... and I'm not sure what the random conversation about social issues and politics were about, perhaps as a jab at more conservative minded people, but quite frankly any talk of politics in movies is just a flat out turn off anymore. It's bad enough that the alphabet networks and cram it down our throats, as well as the social engineering platforms 24/7, but I would personally like to have a break from such things when I'm entering into another world, not have it subtly dropped for whatever reasons...

Plus it makes it really difficult to watch over again as no one will care in "x" years anyhow as most of the commentary are pulled from the moments trending on twitter at the time of writing.

Otherwise, 45 minutes of my life gone including the time it took me to write up this review -- but I like to have an excuse to keep up the practice of writing, so hooray me. At least I didn't give this movie and Rian anymore of my time, and nor will I be bothering to in the future.

Star Trek: Picard (2020–2023)

A shell of a man...

[1/10 · 10 July 2020]

The good of the show: Visually stunning, great CGI, nice worlds. Somewhat compelling if it was anything other than trying to fit itself into the Star Trek Universe. It largely starts off looking and feeling like Blade Runner, morphs into Firefly, and then ends in a way that hints at Cylons. Which in and of itself isn't bad, if only it weren't called Star Trek.

And that largely is the problem... It's is not Star Trek. It says it's Star Trek, and it has characters from Star Trek, and there are lots of Star Trek references, but it isn't really Star Trek.

As a sci-fi story, the concept isn't terribly bad, however I get the sense that the writers had a story in mind but for whatever reasons they didn't feel that it was strong enough to stand on it's own. Perhaps the studios felt that they couldn't compete with The Expanse, and so they decided to turn the story into a Star Trek franchise much like they did with Star Trek Tardigrades, I mean... Discovery.

The problem is that Picard spends most of his time apologizing and being criticized for simply for existing and everyone else on the ship is suffering and coping with existential issues. Space Elf is really the only one who just seems to be happy and content being Space Elf with a sword, hacking bad guys left and right, while 7 of 9 is the strangest addition to this motley crew simply because her story is more of a macguffin than anything, and doesn't actually add anything to the narrative.

... And they kill Data... again... because Butterflies that don't die aren't Butterflies?

There is so much wrong with this series it's almost easier to talk about what's right. The Borg Cube was cool, Alton Inigo Soong was a solid addition, and Riker and Troi's part was actually kind of nice.

Some would say that Star Trek needs to evolve, which is true, however in all things there is a spirt and a substance and an essence that culminates in the whole. To be sure, the substance of Star Trek is there, however it lacks the spirit and essence of Star Trek. There is something profoundly odd about today's current generation that says so long as you put on the suit, you can identify yourself as being a part of that which the suit represents. Typically, this is considered to be stolen valor, and frowned upon in most of the world.

... And they fixed the ship with a sonic screwdriver where all they had to do was use their imagination......

How people are liking this series and getting excited over "Star Trek" is back is beyond me. It's really for the cos-players and fandoms who like the idea of Star Trek because of how it makes them feel like they are part of a community. But in a world where Klingons are now Orcs, canon means nothing, and it's more about representation rather than story, you could pretty much slap a label on whatever you want and call it Star Trek, and it would be so.

Mortal Engines (2018)

It's like a PG Steampunk Matrix, in Howl's Moving Castle w/ a Terminator Cameo

[4/10 · 16 December 2019]

I'll give this movie credit, it is original. Steampunk moving cities that somehow managed to be built 1000 years or so after a worldwide 60 minute war is kind of interesting.

After that, everything devolves into nonsensical one liners, and tropes with a finale of a love interest that is not only forced, it really comes out of nowhere. The concept of the film is compelling, but the real problem lies in having too much happening for no apparent reason. There is no seeming motivation for the villain to be the villain other than it gives Hugo Weaving something to do.

People pop in, things happen, and after a while it becomes a matter of "spot the movie that did this already", so much in fact that the Chinese "not Trinity" lady, actually does a scorpion kick in a fight scene. After a while it became more entertaining to spot the "not this" and "not that" rather than actually watching the movie and plot unfold.

It's not an awful watch, but it get's a bit cringey at times especially with the "not Terminator" undead robot guy. That character was one I found myself wanting to know more about, and all we were really left with is he was going to give the emo scarface girl what she wanted; to no feel or remember anything by making her a robot.

Scarface Girl was the most difficult to accept in this movie. I understand that when you are taking descriptions from a book, you kind of have to wing it. However if she was cut from a knife attack, I would think the scarring wouldn't look like she had her face look like "not Jigsaw", but maybe have a sizable, but less distracting scare on her face.

Things didn't make sense, the world while interesting, just left too much out. Why anyone who make a city on wheels to tear around the world is beyond me. Why they would drive from London to China is again, beyond me, especially since they were so concered with fuel and resources -- that's not a small trip by any account, and for what; to start a war?

I feel like the book answered more, but as I am not the type of movie goer who goes to to the movies in order to read the book later, i'll probably just wiki the finer plot points.

Like most YA novel's and stories, this appeals to a younger and perhaps less depth seeking demographic. It's great if you like anime styling that leave little to think about, but otherwise it's kind of boring and forgettable.

Teen Wolf (1985)

Well... somethings just didn't make it out of the 80's

[6/10 · 7 August 2019]

This was one of the first high school teen movies I had ever seen growing up. Naturally, I had seen it as reruns on television, so naturally a bit of editing occurred, as the original dialogue and sight gags were not suitable for television.

You know... some movies age well, and others... let's just say that they were great for a time and now that the time is gone it's not so great anymore. It's not that there is anyone one wrong thing with the movie -- it's an interesting concept. For the most part the acting is pretty well done and the story is... well, it's interesting but retrospectively kind of cringey.

No one really questions the elephant in the room, and they just kind of run Scotts sudden transformation. Suddenly because he can become a werewolf he becomes the most popular kid in school all because he can play basketball really, really well. No need for being discreet, no troubles being cautious -- he just wolfs out, and the townsfolk are entirely cool with it.

It never dawned on me that the principle cast were all in their 20s when this was filmed, and I could never really understand why High School students looked so old in the movies growing up. Knowing this makes the movie all that much more silly in that you realize that the actors and actresses really had to pull from their past to relive the horrors of highschool in order to film this.

It's got it's fun moments, and I can't deny that it did inspire in my 16 year old self to try car surfing on an occasion or two. But today, here and now I am left wondering why everyone suddenly loved the Teen Wolf simply because puberty hit ad absurdum.

Is it terrible? No... Is it worth the watch? Maybe if you want to realive a bit of 80's nostalgia, but I highly doubt younger audiences today would get into it as it's a bit dated, and not terribly interesting compared to some of the more interesting selections from this time period.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

30 year review

[9/10 · 7 August 2019]

It really is hard to believe that this came out 30 years ago. I have a theory that if you can watch a movie 10 years, and then 20 years after it's release that chances are it's a good movie. This movie at the 30 year mark, is still incredibly well done.

The film itself is a bit of a departure from what fans of the original cartoon TMNT were expecting as it is more so based on the original comic book by Laird and Eastman. In the original form people die, and Shredder never makes it to the second issue. This follows suite and really makes for an excellent viewing experience. One thing that makes it so memorable is that it's more adult, than it is campy kid, a trope you see far too often nowadays. It's not too violent, but it doesn't shy away from a good fight, and it doesn't take itself too seriously, but it does take a serious tone.

It's dark, it's gritty and it's New York at the tail end of the 1980's, but the best part about the film is it's realism. There is no CGI, no green screen. This is 100% choreographed, actors and actresses in 100% latex costumes doing these moves. And because Jim Hensons Creature Shop did such an amazing job, your brain doesn't have to be tricked into thinking that what you are seeing is real, because what you are seeing is entirely real.

The story is simple, and it is all tied up nicely in the end. While there are two (unfortunate) sequels, this film is a total stand alone -- everything that needed to be said was said, and while "Ninja Rap" might forever be stuck in the memories of so many, for the first time viewer it is a kind suggestion to just stop here, and enjoy the show.

This was no big budget, big named spectacle, but instead was just a humble movie that didn't launch or catapult anyone's career -- it's simply a fun watch. And unlike the completely awful Michael "explosions, lens flare, and CGI'd out the a--" Bay flick, this one allows you to believe in what you are seeing without breaking immersion. Look forward to giving it the 40 year review in another 10 years!

Captain Marvel (2019)

Avengers were named for Captain America, the First Avenger

[3/10 · 26 June 2019]

Finally; this movie was available for the low, low price of 5$ on iTunes, and I and a group of friends took an opportunity to watch what is sure to go down in history as the most controversial Marvel Movie in the MCU. The group consisted of 5 women, and 5 men, mostly of comic book fandom persuasions and we were all unanimously both confused, frustrated and left with a feeling of "what did I just watch"?

The plot (such as it was) really makes no sense. There is no real rhyme or reason for anything to happen, and it mostly just happens without cause. Other than the mention of the tesseract, there is no real tie-in to the greater MCU / Infinity Wars Arch.

While Brie Larson did do some exercise training to "toughen up" for the role, she is clearly out of her element. The most distracting thing about the movie is how you can clearly tell she is on a wire doing certain stunts, trying to convincingly tell us that she is no quitter. This is a theme of her life of constantly being told by men to just give up and quit, and that because she is a girl / woman, she'll never *fill in blank*. More often than not it just comes off as her being wreckless, and incapable, and never once (including the end) does she actually accomplish and overcome, she just stands up and grimaces.

This re-occuring theme of "not having to prove anything" comes in the end, which she had a really great opportunity to actually claim victory over her stronger opponent, is instead watered down to her just blasting Jude Law and saying "I don't need to prove anything". This is unfortunate because it sends a message that once again, you just need to show up to the race and win. This Carol Danvers never proves herself (unlike say Captain America who proved himself time and time again).

Her powers are probably the most confounding of the story. She doesn't actually acquire them in a way that classic Carol Danvers did, but instead obtains them and basically becomes a living, walking battery. In comic books, there are places you can go in the realm of reason that make the character the character without breaking the world boundaries. Unfortunately in this, her powers just grow and grow, and keep growing with no real reason. First she can shoot proton energy out of her hands, next she can recharge battery cells and fix technology, and fly head on into warheads. How? Why? Who knows, that's just what happens when you get blown up by a light speed reactor, I guess...

One of the more frustrating elemets is that of Nick Fury. Fury is a battle hardened veteran... This Fury is a Kawaii, Anime Character who goes soft over cats (Think like a Hughs from Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood). SO much in fact that he doesn't lose his eye in battle, but because the stupid cat scratched his eye. This again goes along the subtle repeating trope of emasculating men throughout the narrative (also blasting off Arnolds head in the True Lies cutout when she crashed landed in the Blockbuster... but made sure Jamie Lee Curtis' head was still intact).

It was a unanimous conclusion amongst both men and women in the group that this is not the heroin they would want their daughters to emulate (which by the way, 4 of the 5 in the room had a daughter). She never shows that she can overcome obstacles or defeat -- she just stands and clenches her fist. If it wasn't that she was given immense power, she would just be eternally standing and clenching her fist, which is entirely what heros like Captain America, Iron Man, Spider-Man, Thor, Black Panther all warn against that it's not the suit that makes the hero, but the person inside the suit. In the end, Captain Marvel is just a suit.

The Time Machine (2002)

Almost 20 years later, still fun

[8/10 · 8 May 2019]

I have a theory that if you can watch a movie twenty years or so after it was initially released, it's probably a good movie.

A lot of folks complain that it wasn't "the original", and that's okay. The original is a good movie, and this doesn't really need to be it. Instead it takes a story, updates and tweaks it just a bit and creates a delightful world of it's own. Sure, there are a few plot holes, and yes, there are a few scenes that could have done better. But they aren't hell-worthy trespasses, and are forgivable for the sake of propelling the plot forward.

Other than the spot on casting, which is enjoyable and fun and really well portrayed, what brings you into this film are the sets and sceneries. This movie came out before CGI was used to replace the world rather than augment the world, and so you have real sets in real woods and real costumed creatures, and it just pulls together nicely. The music fits incredibly well to capture the tribal setting that humanity has found itself back into without it being too anachronistic.

All in all a fun, enjoyable film to watch, and much better than a lot of movies that have been coming out lately that force the narrative, rather than letting the story unfold.

Us (II) (2019)

Low brow garbage.

[1/10 · 3 April 2019]

You know that feeling of "uhhh huhhh..." when someone tries to sound intelligent about something, and they just came off and sounding foolish and morose? You know that person... They just watched a documentary, or perhaps read a Wikipedia article and then suddenly they were an expert on things like "duality", "tropes", "Jungian Archytypes" and such?

You could say it more succinctly: You know that person who wears the band t-shirt, can name the one hit song that the artist came out with... like... maybe... Thriller... and suddenly try to convince everyone that they were are the biggest fan in the world of that artist?

Same difference.

Thats kind of how this movie was. Peele tries really, really hard to sound intelligent, and to craft an intelligent narrative, but unfortunately falls so hard and so fast that the movie crashes and burns because he doesn't really understand what he is talking about in the first place. He can name drop an idea, he can loosely base an idea off of something ancient, but in the end he doesn't really get it.

He is flat out writing well outside his pay grade and intellect, and trying to pawn it off as a deep metaphor.

This movie is billed as horror, but the only horrific thing about it is that I spent 10.50 on half night movie for me and my wife. It was so bad at times it was cringy. Was it trying to be funny, or was it just so bad that it was funny? You have moments of suspense that almost pull you into the narrative, only to be immediately snapped out of it by a gag.

****Spoilers*****

The ending ultimately did it for me. I was kind of hoping the grand reveal would be a twist that would break my neck. Instead...it was cliche and contrived and really negated everything that could have been interesting about the movie. Oh boy, the old switcheroo... and now it's a revenge story.

That, and for some reason we really needed to hear a 3 minute expletive explaining everything that just happened, rather than letting the viewer sort it out for themselves. I guess Peele never got the memo that like a good joke, you shouldn't have to explain it, and a good story should just explain itself and leave the audience left with a bit of wonder and intrigue.

I've read some of the "easter eggs" and "fan theories" of the show, and for the most part the people who are getting most excited about it are people who got really into high school psychology. Beyond that it lacks any depth, any horror, and any "gotcha" plot twist. In a lot of way's it was more like a cheap imitation of an M. Night Shamalyan film, who if anything was mostly just a cheap knock off of Alfred Hitchcock -- a Copy of a Copy of a, if you will.

Granted M.Night started out pretty okay with Unbreakable, The Sixth Sense, The Village and Signs... but even towards the Village and Signs you could kind of tell that he was stretching, and everything has been downhill since Lady in the Water.

Casting was okay, dad was a dork, the other family was more of a mocking satire than anything else, and while I had high hopes for this film being interesting, it pretty much shattered my desire for ever giving Hollywood any of my money anymore, ever again. It's really time for the land of Stardust and Celebrity to go away at this point. If this is any indication of what Jordan Peele's direction is like, then I weep for his new Twilight Zone Series as it would just be another cheap, uninteresting knockoff of something great...

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

Dr. Okums Underwear

[2/10 · 4 January 2019]

One has to wonder "am I getting too old to appreciate films", or is it that these directors just have no good sense of film making anymore.

To bring us up to speed on the ID4 franchise, we decided to watch the first one. 20 years later, it's still a solid movie. It's an American Film about American's leading the charge, pulling themselves up by the bootstraps against impossible odds, and leading the world to victory. A bit campy, yes, but It's coming from an era where Hulk Hogan was a great American Hero, and nationalism and patriotism weren't four letter words.

And you could hack Alien Technology with an Apple Powerbook...

It was epic, it was explosive, it was a good story and the good guys won. I still got a chill over the Bill Pullman speech.

This however was just... boring....

The biggest flaw was that it was simply too big to be believable. After the Mothership enveloped 1/3 of the planet, drops an EMP and started mining, in my mind the insurmountable odds really became insurmountable. It's like "how do you really expect to beat that" unless you deus ex machina the bejezus out of the story, and that simply is what happens.

In the original, you had time to care about the actors. This was more characters doing more things, and then things happen, and then there are things. You are expected to care about the characters not because they are important or interesting, but because you are told that in order to enjoy the film, you need to care about these characters.

The replaying of tropes from the original also got annoying and tiresome. We get it, one liner here, echo back to something there... That's just lazy script writing. And of course, you have the dorky side character for the quasi comedy relief. I can't think of a movie I have seen lately where there wasn't a dorky male character being a dork.

Nowadays it's fair to say that Chinese Production companies are ruling Hollywood and it shows. China has become the big market to appease for films, and so a lot of movies that have come out in the past 10 / 15 years are more catered to Chinese Markets rather than Western Markets. So you have an action, a commedy, and a drama all wrapped up into one. I wont say I don't mind a bit of humor in action films, but not to the point where characters become charicatures of themselves as in the case of Dr. Okum. In the original he was a serious, albeit eccentric doctor. In this, he was more like the eccentric mad scientists who was kept around for comedic purposes.

Not surprised it didn't do well, and even less surprised that there wont be a third one. Could have been interesting, but just moves from topic to topic like one rambling run on sentence. Typical post-modern story telling where God forbid you have some dramatic pause, or silence in between scenes.

Nowadays I rate movies on whether or not they are worth downloading, and the answer to this film is "save your bandwidth".

Black Panther (2018)

CGI Rhino's and Moar

[7/10 · 28 February 2018]

In typical Marvel fashion, this latest movie adaptation of a comic book was as solid as the rest. The casting was good, the acting was good, the story was good, generally speaking this movie was for all intents and purposes, good. Shuri was certainly the most fun character, T'Challa inspires honor, dignity and humility with an "always do right" attitude, M'Baku was just cool, Romanda was stately as a true Queen ought be, and Kill-Monger was a tragic, but despicable villain who carried with him years of misplaced rage -- they were all well portrayed, and quite believable.

And therein lies the problem: It doesn't stand out in any real way, nor does it inspire repeat watchings, or even the need for a sequel. It simply melts into the Marvel Cinematic Universe without making any real or significant impact. It was a fun movie, but despite the hype surrounding it, and despite the overblown political nature, it was, in a very strange way, bland.

That arguably is the biggest problem that the Haus of Maus faces with all of it's major blockbusters now: They have gotten so good at the formula, that they aren't daring, nor are they even trying anymore. They cookie cutter the formula over and over again, change a few things here and there, and call it a new movie. We are essentially living in an age of Pop-Movies, where there is little difference between A and B, other than the physical appearance, and maybe a little bit of dialogue here and there.

After a while though, I started to feel a bit bothered in that a great deal of this movie felt trope-y, in that it had an idea of Africa, without really actually being African. Kind of like how many of us imagined China-Town was after watching Big Trouble in Little China, this started to feel like it was more of an Idea of what Africa was all about, rather than what Africa is all about. Naturally of course that makes sense as Wakanda is an idealized destination, however parts of it felt more like a Disney ride, exploiting the imagery associated with what folks might typically associate with Africa.

Again, it wasn't bad, but it didn't really leave me with much other than being offended at the constant white jokes and jabs, and the turning the children in the end into little more than a stereotype where they said "we can take this apart and sell the pieces", referring to T'Challa's hover-ship that landed in the middle of an Oakland California Basketball Court.

However, I do understand why they made this movie, and the meta-narrative behind it is... a curious thing, if you understand the story.

Justice League (2017)

A thorough lack of understanding of the DC Universe.

[6/10 · 26 February 2018]

At best this movie was strange. It had all the proper elements of a good film, yet studio heads seem to have a serious lack of understanding the psychology of the D.C. Universe.

By nature, the D.C. Universe is significantly darker and more mature than Marvel. As such, they have an opportunity to delve into more cerebral stories than Marvel, and yet they treat this like a kids film. I am thoroughly convinced that Joss Whedon has become the last person anyone would want writing, or directing, or even producing their film as he is little more than a generic story teller.

While Zach Snyder get's a great deal of flack, if left to his own devices he often times captures the spirit of the grittier, darker comics, IE 300 and Watchmen (despite it's flaws). Unfortunately a great deal happened with Snyder during production which left this movie essentially in shambles and broken from the start.

The casting was good, however how they were used was mixed. Ezra Miller's Flash stole more than enough scenes, but Jason Mamoa's Aquaman was a bit too fratboy. Cyborg was interesting, but underdeveloped and Wonder Woman seemed like an extension from the Wonder Woman film. I've liked Affleck as Batman thus far, much to my surprise, but this just seemed meh... Henry Cavill felt entirely wooden and his apparent CGI face was incredibly distracting. Steppenwolf was the most disappointing in that he was little more than Aries redux, and as an antagonist was boring, uninspiring and just another CGI cut scene.

In short, this movie was just strange. It seemed that it had all the elements to make a solid film, but moves it too fast, establishes nothing, goes from scene to scene to scene, and is flat out generic and forgettable.

It's a shame because this could have been absolutely wonderful.

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)

How can you be the Rebellion when you are the ruling Government?

[1/10 · 26 December 2017]

There are two was to look at this film. One, as a standalone film that has nothing to do with anything and two, as a film that assumes to shoulder the responsibility of thirty plus years of history, fandom and anticipation.

As a film it's convoluted with no real coherent plot or point. You have zero time to actually feel or care about the characters as they just move along from scene to scene, moment to moment without any real cohesion. One minute Poe is getting escorted off the bridge by the purple haired Admiral's guards, the next he is standing in front of her having a nice chat moments before committing mutiny.

Rose and Finn are entirely throwaway characters that add nothing to the over all story. How a former janitor is able to defeat the highly trained, and skilled Storm Trooper Captain Phasma is beyond belief. However as most have come accept as believable is that anyone can come to the fight without any prior training and win, just because they believe.

Rose on the other hand, valiantly "saves" Finn from himself as he is about to sacrifice hisself in order to save the remaining rebellion from destruction, because she suddenly finds herself in love with him for no real reason whatsoever.

Snoke, while having had a great deal of potential to be interesting was little more than another CGI villain, who met a quick end by the hand of Emo Darth Vader.

It took me a while to reconcile what I was seeing, but the best way I can describe most of the movie is that it was more like going to an Anime or Star Wars convention where everyone is dressing up as their favorite characters and playing caricatures of someone else.

As a Star Wars Film, it was a complete and utter travesty. Some have compared the unfavorable reviews to the unfavorable reviews that Empire had received in 1980. At the least, you could say that the negative reviews then were more shocked at the darker nature of the film, although the film stayed within it's nature. Others have argued that it's mostly angry white men hating on the film, but seeing as how it the crowd that I was with consisted with two men (including myself), and three women, there was no one who had anything positive to say about what was seen, and the general consensus was that it was Star Wars in name only and lacked any of the depth or understanding of the actual universe or characters.

Kylo Ren continues to be an Emo Sith Lord, who ironically is the only one who suggests to Rey that perhaps they could team up and do something different other than be a Jedi or Sith. Of course Rey, who we also find to be no one or nothing of any relevance, aligns herself with the Jedi (or Luke Skywalker) for some reason or another. To be sure, there is no real reason why she would have any attachment to anyone as there is simply no development as to why she should care in any capacity.

Luke is now a curmudgeon who just endlessly wallows in self-pity and instead of being the wise old, warrior sage that we had all waited 30 years for, instead turns out to be a weak, cowardly, broken man who maunders around his island, milking four breasted sea monsters for blue milk.

Leia can apparently survive the vacuum of space and NOT kill everyone on the ship as she opens the door from the outside to let herself back in after getting blown out by an explosion, and Yoda can affect the corporeal world by summoning lightning and burning down trees.

I'm thoroughly convinced now that Disney is bent on vandalizing the institution of Star Wars to make a point. I find it hard to believe that a multi-billion dollar company could screw up a movie that badly, however here we are. The truth is that it wasn't a good film. Sure there was a very cool scene where The Admiral plows her ship through the First Order Fleet at light speed, but otherwise this movie was little more than CGI cut scenes, explosions, and space ships. To it's detriment, it tried to sprinkle on some philosophy and metaphysics, however such things are way beyond it's pay grade, though it might sound deep and meaningful if all you ever read are young adult novels, or watch nothing but anime...

And I mean the newer anime, not the older anime that was in no way meant for children....

As an institution Star Wars is dead. It might be good for the fans looking for little more than a sticker slapped on a plastic box, but for those that want something to sink their teeth into, there are about 30 years worth of books that actually tell a proper sci-fi story. It was about 45 minutes too long and watching Chewbacca suddenly decide not to eat a Porgie (after capturing, killing, skinning and cooking one over the fire) because all the other Porgies were giving him sad eyes was just unnecessary and like the rest of the film left me saying "wait, wha?".

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

It is like the Fifth Element, meets 300, meets Battlestar Galactica.... in neon.

[9/10 · 5 December 2017]

What made Thor Ragnarok enjoyable was that it stood well on its own. While it would have been helpful to know and understand the events of the previous Thor, as well as Avengers: Age of Ultron, it was not necessary as enough information was supplied to take what was happening at it's face value.

Honestly though, it was just a fun popcorn flick.

Hulk Smashed, Thor Zapped, and all in all it was just a solid film. No one character outshined the other, and though the dialogue at times was a bit wooden especially with Cate Blanchet's "Hela", it was clear that everyone involved was just having fun with it.

For the Comic Book Fans, the narrative pulled greatly from the Planet Hulk arch, and while it was not a direct retelling, it had enough elements to make it familiar and not feeling contrived. I personally would like to see a proper Planet Hulk / World War Hulk movie, perhaps where Hulk returns to Sakaar in order to lead the revolution that he in part started.

After being disappointed with Thor 1 and 2, Thor Ragnarok could either be a nice way to end the franchise, or an excellent way to jump start it with 3 more proper films that actually get the formula right. This focused more on the mythological elements of the Thor legend, rather than the "Thor in America" direction -- arguably making it a much more enjoyable film rather than it being a fish out of water tale.

To expound on the Summary, this had the fun of The Fifth Element with over the top, yet not outside the realm of reality and reason characters, the epicness and cinematography found in the battle scenes of 300, and a finale that was very reminiscent of Battlestar Galactica.

A solid "A", and a film that I will hopefully re-watch once it becomes available in the usual places.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

Stunning: An aural and visual experience

[10/10 · 24 October 2017]

The best way to start off with understanding Blade Runner is to point out that it is not for the casual sci-fi goer. This isn't Firefly, or Doctor Who, or whatever flavor of the month generic cosplay, comic-con, fanboy chic pseudo wannabe nerds get excited about. You have to be patient, you have to pay attention, you have to be intelligent and understand the themes that it is trying to present. You can't be playing it in the background or be distracted by your phone -- you are either watch, or you waste your time.

This is deep sci-fi that envelops you and challenges you with a deep and engrossing story. It builds the world in a way that takes time and patience. It is a labor of love, and you can tell simply by it's use of models and miniatures, and not relying on CGI gimmicks (though there are elements of CGI, it is more like makeup on an already beautiful woman, and not lipstick on a pig).

The other wonderful thing about this film is that you don't have to know or understand anything about the previous Blade Runner as this movie is it's own entity. It's not a sequel, at least not directly, but more on the order of what The Next Generation was to The Original Series.

Unfortunately there is an element that does pull one out from the fantastical world, and that is Jared Leto. Leto is hit or miss for me, and while he is pretty to look at and I very much do enjoy 30 Seconds to Mars, his portrayal of Wallace was rigid and forced. David Bowie was originally slated to portray Niander Wallace however Bowie's untimely demise put a small hiccup in that plan. I almost feel that they should have replaced Bowie with an older British fellow, maybe a Peter Capaldi or even better, Jude Law, instead of Jared Leto who perpetually looks like he is 20 to play someone who has seen some years.

I'm not terribly surprised that this movie did not break box office records; I believe world wide it broke a little more than even. In a culture where you almost need to have political statements, social justice, and lens flares just to keep people's attention for more than 10 seconds, how do you sell a masterpiece when all people are used to is pop-art? To be sure it did not "do well", however I can almost guarantee that in 30 years no one will be talking about today's new Star Wars or Marvel Movies, but like the previous Blade Runner 30 years prior, people will still be talking about this and that is what makes a classic, that is what separates consumers and connoisseurs.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)

A flawed film

[5/10 · 24 October 2017]

Generally speaking, no sequel is ever going to have the same magic or intrigue as it's predecessor -- it often times lacks the newness and depth and exploration that the original had. This film is no exception to that rule, and while it was fun to watch, it was not as interesting to watch.

For the most part it relied heavily on tropes that made the first one successful: Name dropping an idea here and there, and referencing something that happened in the first in order to give itself credence and familiarity. Even something as innocuous as "up the bum" was made in reference (and in the same context).

While it wasn't a bad film per-say, it again simply was not an interesting one. The background music was most grating and cliché, playing the typical military-esque band fanfare during scenes regarding government, and there was an incredibly horrible "country" rendition of Cameo's "Word Up" during the end fight scene. Julian Moore's "Poppy" was more or less a contrived female variant of Samuel Jackson's "Valentine", playing on the quirky but misunderstood and under appreciated megalomaniac.

Unfortunately the one draw that I was most interested in -- seeing how Eggsy and Tequilla, (Channing Tatum) would play off one another -- fell flat in that Channing Tatum spend the majority of the film in cryogenic freeze. Instead, the film became more about how Eggsy and Galahad working together against an evil element inside the Statesmen, again pulling a trope from the original Kingsmen.

While it didn't bother me directly, I felt that it was a bit over the top portraying the United States as this draconian force that lacks compassion in it's laws and that the President is a tyrant who just wants to round up all the amoral law breakers of the country. Yes, there is and can be a bit of an overzealous culture regarding American Drug Laws (But lets face it, there are other countries that are way, way worse), however this basically compared Heroin, Meth, and Marijuana into the same class of drug, which is unfortunate. Originally the President character was intended to be an obvious Donald Trump caricature, and thankfully they scrapped that idea and went with a generic angry white guy... who eventually got impeached and superseded by a woman...

There were some well placed laugh out loud moments, but honestly not enough to make this film re-watchable. I personally determine a films worth based on it's appeal to want to watch again, and to be perfectly honest, Hollywood has not produced much in ten years that I felt was worth the time to watch again, and this will most likely be forgotten about in a week.

The first Kingsmen was daring and interesting; It took chances. This one was safe and redundant and relied on copying all the things that made the first one successful and instead of being daring, it was just an upgraded sequel -- even Colin Firth seemed disinterested in being a part of it.

Though admittedly, Elton John dressed as a fabulously flamboyant, gay peacock landing a flying kick in stacked heals was a pretty funny moment, but still not enough to make this more than mediocre or re-watchable.

The Fourth Kind (2009)

boe_dye sez: i'm kinda on the fence about this one...

[7/10 · 25 November 2009]

Sure I gave it a seven, mostly for it's originality as well as cinematic styling, however does that warrant it being a good story as well as a movie? Not really sure to be honest...

One of the things that bothers me the most is that it's claimed to be "alien abduction". However the problem with that is that almost all of the documentary and tapes shown don't really fit well with abduction as much as they do with demonic possession. Of course believing in aliens is much more easier to swallow because at the very least, it is a tangible protagonist as opposed to saying "demon" which is more spiritual and requires a bit of faith and belief in something...

The other problem I have is the whole authenticity of the film. Yes, it comes off as saying "the events are real, and disturbing, and this actually happened...". But upon further research, there is very little if ANYTHING to substantiate any of this. No record in any medical journal, nor anything that would substantiate any of it.

The final problem I have was that if in fact all of it was true, and it very well might have been, was that the all of the visual media associated with it was further doctored to make it even more distorted then what it was, which while I agree made for an interesting effect, but left the viewer to further question whether or not any of it was real or not.

Some good things I will say is that it was indeed a spooky film if nothing more. A few squirms and a bit of a jump in my seat at one point. It was engaging, and it did bring you into the world that the filmmaker was portraying.

So regardless whether or not it was true, and the events did happen. It wasn't an awful film and more disturbing at times rather then relying on horror and shock value.

A decent film to watch in the dark.