irivlin Reviews

Hawaii Five-O: Wednesday, Ladies Free (1971) Season 4, Episode 3

Nice little time waster. One of the better episodes.

[7/10 · 9 March 2024]

SPOILER ALERT.

DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS EPISODE.

A silly ending (as is usually the case). Turns out that the private investigator - Jerry - murdered his wife and wants to pin it on the psycho who's going round murdering a specific type of woman.

Towards the final minute of this episode, McGarret accuses Jerry of killing his wife. All Jerry had to do was say "No I didn't". Instead, he fesses up.

They say confession is good for the soul. (But only in Hawaii 5-0)

As my title says, this is one of the better episodes. Hard to believe that Jack Lord died about 25 years ago (it's 2024, as I'm writing this). The killer, who looks so youthful, died about 3 years ago, aged 91. The years are passing by so rapidly....

The script writers seem to insist on putting some kind of twist at the very end. The trouble is that it happens so often, it's lost its impact.

The Beekeeper (2024)

Frenetic action movie - with the silliest plot ever.

[6/10 · 2 March 2024]

You will watch and enjoy this movie for the action. Afterwards, you'll probably hate yourself for wasting two hours of your life.

The plot is about an ex "Black Ops" soldier who's living the quiet life - in"retirement". The landlady of his bee-keeping farm is scammed out of her life savings by one of those computer hacking gangs. This is an operation in America and, as we all know, they are NEVER in the US - (silly plot error.) The landlady shoots herself and The beekeeper (Statham) decides to wreak vengeance on the perpetrators in his own inimitable style. His American accent is as unconvincing as a pantomime horse

As it turns out the boss of the computer hackers is the (female) US president's son. - A sleazy coke snorting character modelled after a certain other president's coke snorting son. The female president is modelled after a certain female who had (unrequited and unrealized) US presidential aspirations. She initially appears ghastly and amoral and, at the end has an epiphany and realises that she has to do the right thing and 'fess up... (silly plot error). The president's son is shot by Stathan, who manages to slip out of the white house, amidst millions of SWAT police who can't hit a barn door at ten paces with their automatic weapons. Jeremy Irons puts in an unnecessary appearance as an ex CIA director and - just when you think that Statham's fake US accent is the worst on earth, Jeremy Irons proves you wrong.

Stratham, puts on a diving suit and swims out to freedom.

As I'm writing this I can't believe anyone would write something so utterly inane - but there you go. It seems as if Hollywood has gone, not just insane but puerile as well.

Should you see this film? Absolutely! It's as beserk a comic book action lunacy as it gets. It's so silly, that it's worth watching to see the depths that Hollywood can go to.

Watch it, but for goodness sake, don't watch it at the cinema (someone might see you).

Police State (2023)

A chilling reminder of history.

[9/10 · 23 December 2023]

I must first state that I'm not a US citizen and don't have a " dog in the race". I am an avid historian and have studied totalitarianism for a long time.

30 years ago, I would have probably associated myself with the Democrat philosophy, then the Clinton's came along and, in my opinion, turned the Democrat Party into a money making business. Somehow they co-opted the DOJ, so the media and the FBI. Then the "lawfare" began - ie, the user of the Department of Justice to further their aims. Once Whitewater was not pursued, it became obvious that the Democrat Party had made a Faustian deal with the security forces. America's fate was sealed at that point.

One would have to be blind if they thought that justice is being equally applied in America at the current time.

This movie tries to set out, logically and realistically, what is happening and sending out a warning to the world what will occur if we don't rein in this (literal) police state.

I'm sure Democrats are either happy about what's going on, or are turning a blind eye to things. What they don't realise is that sooner or later, they will get voted out. - Then the reprisals will bite them on the ankles. All my older Democrat American friends are horrified about what's happening. They have seen the effects of Soviet politics. America is deadly close to this kind of oppressive regime.

Watch this movie with an open mind and just keep asking yourselves "Is this really happening?" I honestly believe it is.

Be afraid - not of other countries invading the United States but of the enemy within. The Barbarians are not AT the gate, they are already inside.

This movie is scary, bold and revealing. Please watch it. It is very much a harbinger of the nightmare that may well occur - and sooner than you might think.

The Stepford Children (1987 TV Movie)

Poor relative of The Stepford Wives. Not recommended.

[3/10 · 29 October 2023]

Considering the excellence of the original Stepford Wives, I find it very hard to believe that Ira Levin had a hand in this very poor "clone" (no pun intended).

It's a formulaic as I've ever seen coming out of Hollywood. We all know the ending from the first five minutes of the the start.

Barbara Eden just does not suit this role. For starters, she's too old, secondly, she's typecast and we can't get Jeanie out of our heads.

It's poorly directed and all the acting is hammed up to the limit, with each character trying his or her self to be a silly stereotype.

Richard Anderson, who played Oscar Goldman in The 6 million Dollar Man is no match for Patrick O'Neal in The Stepford Wives. Everything about this movie shouts "Low budget" and "Hurried".

I watched this movie, so you don't have to. Please don't make the same mistake.

BTW, the remake of The Stepford Wives (with Christopher Walken and Glen Close is even worse.

Burn (III) (2019)

An exceptionally taut thriller. A surprising jewel.

[8/10 · 16 July 2023]

I saw a clip of this in YouTube shorts and it stimulated me to watch the full movie.

I was rather blown away by this "sleeper" (by sleeper, I mean I wasn't expecting it to be nearly as good as it proved to be).

The acting by the main character - who plays "Melinda" - was outstanding. The second character who plays the "baddie" was almost as good. The other actors were 6/10 and that is why i gave this an overall 8, otherwise I'd have given it a 9.

The film conjured up the same tension as Dial M for Murder and there really was something "Hitchcock-esque" about it.

I absolutely recommend it.

First class and I hope the director comes out with other (future) films as good.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)

Disappointing sequel, in spite of Jim Carrey

[4/10 · 19 March 2023]

I quite liked the first Sonic - a bit of entertaining and harmless fun but Sonic 2 tries to advance on the first one and - sadly - falls flat on its face.

Jim Carrey, as the brilliant but sadistic scientist just becomes a parody of ....Jim Carrey.

You can see how he's trying to emulate The Mask but somehow, it just doesn't come off. In the mask, we were rooting for him and loved his charmingly boyish fantasies materialise due to Loki's mask, but in Sonic 2, he's trying to be nasty, funny, appealing and repulsive at the same time. Nothing seems to fit, yet it's never even explained why he would bother dedicating his entire endeavours to destroying Sonic... Nobody will be watching this movie a second time and most people will forget the thin and unengaging plot.

The sad thing is that they didn't need to spend all that money on the CGI. They could have made a better screenplay and had the characters be more human, interesting and complex. Instead all the characters are just boring cardboard cutouts.

Don't watch this movie. I did and feel bad about the wasted time.

I watched the film, so you don't have to.

The Hard Way (1980 TV Movie)

A slow moving and confused movie that will irritate the viewer

[5/10 · 5 March 2023]

A dour, rather slow and muddled film. I can't say it was one of McGoohan's best.

Did they have to make this film such a kitchen-sink drama? Think of the bright, colourful photography of the 1964-1966 "Dollars" Sergio Leone movies. The Hard Way, in contrast, was dark, shadowy (in a bad way, not in a Third Man or Citizen Kane way) - cheap looking and miserable. I urge anyone with bipolar mania to watch this film when they're on a "high". This movie will bring 'em down in ten minutes flat.

There were lots of annoying lapses of attention to detail. Some of them have already been commented on. In this movie, we have someone who's supposed to be one of the best marksmen in Europe - and the baddies send three buffoons after him, in open countryside, A blind man on a galloping horse could have picked them off. No surprises that the goons failed.

Sarcastic trivia:- Watch at 31 minutes, 0 seconds. You'll see the world first fully recoilless rifle. In fact You'll see lots of things in this film that have yet to be invented.

Memory (I) (2022)

A bit of a disappointment but somewhat watchable

[4/10 · 10 October 2022]

I was rather hoping that this would have been a bit like the original "Taken" but it falls well short of that excellent film.

I won't go into the plot as this can be seen on the many other reviews.

Suffice is to say that I find it hard to believe that contact killers have a heart of gold and a sense of justice and fair play. If you're psycho enough to kill indiscriminately for cash, then you must have extreme "moral flexibility". That the protagonist (Alex) seems to dedicate his life to finding and killing the "baddies" is verging on the ridiculous.

The denouement (and the "hits" leading up to the unsatisfying ending) stretch ones credibility to the limit. Somehow, "Taken" didn't create this sense of disbelief. I guess that's the difference between a great director (Luc Besson) and a so-so director (Martin Campbell).

Interestingly, Guy Pearce was in a film called Memento - where he's had brain damage and can't remember things, so he tattoos his whole body with Post-It notes. Liam Neeson (who's supposed to have Alzheimers in this film) writes things on his forearm. A sort of salute (pun intended) to the film that Guy Pearce used to be in.

As for Liam Neeson having advanced dementia and still being able to outsmart everyone and cope with advanced electronics - give me a break. That alone is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen in a movie.

As I put in the title, this is a big disappointment but it is (just) watchable. You'll leave the cinema irritated at the silly plot holes and wish you'd waited for it to come out on download. I've seen worse films - but not many.

I gave it 4/10. I was being very generous.

Paranoia (I) (2013)

A dreary, predictable, unimaginative and awful movie

[1/10 · 16 December 2014]

That Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Embeth Davitz and Richard Dreyfuss were associated with this exquisite train wreck is utterly unbelievable. Shame on them for (as Comic Book Guy would say) "The worst movie ever..."

I don't really know how to describe this thing that masquerades as entertainment. It's like someone saying "Tell me about Mussolini." - It'd take half an hour to get your thoughts organized and kick off with appropriate criticisms.

Suffice is to say:-

1) Don't even think of paying money to see it.

2) Don't waste your time watching it on TV.

3) If it's playing at your local cinema - cross the road, lest someone sees you and thinks you're about to hand over cash to watch it.

It was boring on a biblical scale. It was scrappy, poorly acted, had an appalling screenplay. It could be used by a film school as an example of how not to make a movie.

Final words:- Yeuch, Ugh, Bleeer, Groan, Hiss and finally... Vomit.

White House Down (2013)

white house down - ugh!

[1/10 · 13 November 2014]

Someone wrote that this was the worst movie in 20 years. I totally disagree. This was the worst movie in hmm.... what's the number that's bigger than infinity? - shall we say infinity raised to the power infinity, divided by zero, then cubed, then multiplied by 2. This was a very special movie. It took stupidity, then added a great big dollop of inanity, mixed it all up with absurdity and gave it a generous frosting of "insult the intelligence of an oyster." A dreadful, tour de force of a movie train wreck. Towards the end I wanted to pluck my own eyes out. everyone do yourself a favour. Visit Iran and insult the government instead. It'll be much more fun YEUCH.

Shaft (1971)

A truly appalling movie

[1/10 · 18 May 2013]

I saw this film when it came out. It was "different" and hence garnered attention from the movie going populace normally being fed mainstream private eye films. I didn't like it at the time but I went to the cinema with a girl I fancied and told her I liked it - as she seemed to find the film entertaining. (or did she just give that impression because she was trying to please me??) Just for old time's sake, I watched it the other night. 42 years had indeed changed my view - I detested the film! Wooden acting, desperately bad screenplay and plot. Cheap, nasty, depressing sets and photography. Everyone and his dog spitting out surly one liners that did little more than irritate. How on earth did this train wreck ever get any traction? The director, actors and everyone else involved in Shaft should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. I now realize why it was entitled "Shaft"; the movie going public got shafted. - and yes, that was a surly one-liner.. UGH! UGH! and double UGH!

The Limits of Control (2009)

The emperor's new clothes - ie a con job of a movie.

[3/10 · 26 March 2011]

Jim Jarmusch is capable of much better than this load of old rubbish. It's boring, meaningless, confusing and almost totally without redeeming features. When I read some other reviewers' opinions stating this film to be a "Zen Masterpiece" and similar accolades, I cringed. For anyone to be enthusiastic about "The Limits of control" shows a mind desperate to find meaning in the meaningless.

Does anyone remember "After the Fox" (1966)? They (the crooks) are planning a robbery - and using a fictitious movie as a front. When the criminals finally appear in court, the "film" is shown. It was a childish amateur effort and showed just how bad a movie can be when made by the uninitiated. One solitary man in the courtroom declares how wonderful the film was and said it moved him so much "I cried". Well this is what we're dealing with here. Pretentious reviewers not being able to figure out the film and therefore assuming there's something deep and philosophical. - There isn't. It's a bad movie in almost all respects but the photography is (occasionally) good. If you want to sit through a mesmerizingly boring film to catch a few decent images, then this is the film for you. If you're looking for a good plot, good acting, good screenplay, good direction and good entertainment, look elsewhere...... Ian Rivlin

The Prisoner: The Girl Who Was Death (1968) Season 1, Episode 15

The girl who was death - Superb episode.

[10/10 · 26 March 2010]

Justine Lord looks ravishing. Shame she didn't keep on as an actress (she more or less stopped in the mid 1970's) In one scene, she drives away from the fairground (actually filmed in Southend) in a white E-Type Jaguar, hotly pursued by Number 6 in a Lotus Elan. At the time, the E-Type was the quintessential sports supercar and how good they still look. The Lotus Elan would have murdered the E-Type on corners and the Jag would easily have beaten the Lotus in terms of top speed. A gorgeous chick in an E-Type would have been every young man's fantasy (It certainly was mine). Cars aside, I loved this very surreal episode. It had everything and even though it wasn't set in "The Village", so what? - it was exciting, entertaining, coherent, very well directed and produced. - One of the very best of the 17 episodes - if not the best.

Kenneth Griffith does an admirable job of playing a deranged, egotist nut case. Justine Lord takes on the role of a smooth-as-silk psychopathic killer to perfection. Why can't they make programs like this nowadays? IMHO The Prisoner was the best of the best of the best. (Yes, I'm an ardent fan...)

Wanted (2008)

Dreadful, dreary, hackneyed load of old rubbish.

[1/10 · 30 July 2008]

What a pity that actors as good as James McAvoy and Morgan Freeman can allow themselves to be degraded by such pathetic nonsense as "Wanted". I went with my sister, who I haven't seen for a couple of years. After this film, I felt embarrassed that after this long time apart, I ended up taking her to this turkey. I stayed to the end but was crawling in my chair from about 50% of the way through the film, wanting to get out of there. I didn't leave because I didn't want to spoil it for my sister. - Little did I know that she was desperate to get out of there too. I don't think I'll have the hide to ever suggest we see a film together.....

This dog of a film trawls new depths. Whereas "The Matrix" hit the mark (the first one, that is - the second and third ones were dreadful). To compare The Matrix with "Wanted" is like comparing dog food with a top meal at Maxim's in Paris. The two films are about as far apart in terms of entertainment and excellence as it's possible to be. Save your money - don't see this film. It will leave a very bad taste in your mouth for a long time to come.

No Country for Old Men (2007)

Criticisms regarding plot holes.....

[6/10 · 12 January 2008]

1) The money had a "transponder" in it. - Somehow it seems to have managed to put out a massive amount of radio frequency energy (without an aerial) - so much energy, in fact, that Chigurh is able to pick up the signal from many miles away. How did the battery last this long? - This might have been a GPS or cell-phone type of transmitter - thus explaining the wonderful distances it can operate at BUT is it likely that drug dealers would use a national system for tracking drug money? (ie a dead giveaway as far as they would have been concerned).

2) Zero out of ten for the deputy placing an arrestee behind him, whilst he's on the phone. The fact that he got strangled was one of the good points of this film. - Such stupid deputies should not be allowed to achieve sexual maturity and (horror of horrors) possibly pass such stupid genes on to subsequent generations.

3) People in this film seemed to end up horribly injured and bounce back in minutes or hours. Hardly manifesting any signs of pain or incapacity either at the time of the trauma or subsequently.

4) Chiguhr seems to have a supernatural ability to track people down. The US military should offer him $5 million to find Bin Laden. - That way, we'll save billions in Iraq and Chigurh will murder all Bin Laden's lieutenants along the way. (Unless they win the occasional coin toss).

Yes - it is honorable to make an ending that doesn't work out like the stupid duel in "Heat" but the ending WAS badly constructed, unsatisfying and showed a lack of inventiveness or intelligence. If anyone ever saw the final episode of "The Prisoner", the ending of No Country for Old Men was almost in the same category of no-talent stupidity. Moss - a man who'd been a soldier in 'Nam, had talents as a survivor somehow got located by the Mexicans in no time flat. A film has a duty to be entertaining - that is their raison d'etre. This film stopped entertaining in the final 15 minutes. The Coen brothers have demonstrated much greater skill in many other films. Having said all of this, the sound was superb and the photography pretty good. The characters were very wooden. Listening to Tommy Lee Jones drone on with his homespun, fake Texan drawl, philosophy bored the balls off me. They could have removed him from the film entirely and the result would have been a much more interesting film. Ugh! PS - message for the Federal Authorities, local police forces, DEA, ATF, etc etc etc - There are a load of dead bodies to be dealt with......

Rag Tale (2005)

The *absolute* worst rubbish I've ever seen.

[1/10 · 15 August 2007]

It's sad that directors with no talent use odd cinematographic techniques in an attempt to disguise the film's inadequacies. What's worse though, is the stupid sheep-like gullibility of some of the viewing public who interpret such "novelty" as daring and mold-breaking. Mary McGuckian is plainly a person devoid of talent, vision or taste. Do I hear you say "But it's refreshing to see a director explore new ideas"? Yes, it is refreshing but this no-talent director has simply exhibited pretension and stupidity - any fool can do that. Mary McGuckian is not going to be part of cinema's future. - She'll just slink into the shadows of obscurity and those few who remember her so-called efforts will regard the experience with revulsion. I would have rather been able to sum up Rag Tale as MINUS 10 but 1 out of 10 was the lowest I could award. 1 out of 10 is clearly undeserved praise and might (horror of horrors) encourage this egregious blight on cinema to direct another movie. - I (as I'm sure most other people will) shudder at the thought.

Somehow, I imagine this breathtakingly inadequate director could even mess up sweeping the streets, so I won't suggest she takes this up as a profession. - If she did, walking around her home town would be a whole lot harder than it is now.

Ed Wood's movies were so mind-bogglingly superior (even at their worst) to this woman's pathetic offerings that I feel embarrassed at those who awarded Ed Wood the soubriquet as "worst director ever". At least we could watch his films and laugh at how amateurish they were. In Mary McGuckian's case, we can't even do that. There's nothing in Rag Tale to raise a smile - not even a smile of poignant sadness. What in heaven's name was the producer thinking about to allow this claptrap to be released? He should be jailed for inflicting cruel and unusual punishment on the audience. Don't watch this film within 5 hours of eating food - it'll come right back in your lap.

The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)

The emperor's new clothes.

[1/10 · 11 August 2007]

How sheep-like the movie going public so often proves to be. As soon as a few critics say something new is good (ie - "Shake-Cam"), everyone jumps on the bandwagon, as if they are devoid of independent thought. This was not a good movie, it was a dreadful movie. 1) Plot? - What plot? Bourne was chased from here to there, from beginning to end. That's the plot. Don't look for anything deeper than this. 2) Cinematography? - Do me a favor! Any 7 year old armed with an old and battered 8mm movie camera would do a far better job (I am not exaggerating here). This film is a tour-de-force of astonishingly amateurish camera-work. The ridiculous shaking of EVERY (I really do mean every) scene will cause dizziness and nausea. 3) Believable? - Oh yes definitely. This is a masterpiece of credibility. I loved scenes about Bourne being chased by (local) police through the winding market streets of Tangier. - I've BEEN to Tangier. Even the guides can't navigate their way through those streets but Bourne shook off 100 police with speed and finesse. Greengrass must be laughing his head off at the gullibility of his film disciples. 4) Editing? - I don't know what the editor was on when he did this film but I want some! - Every scene is between 0.5 and 2 seconds. I felt nauseous at the end of the film from the strobe effect of the "scenes" flashing by. 5) Directing? - Hmmm. This is an interesting aspect. The film appears to have actually NOT had any directing. More a case of Greengrass throwing a copy of the script (all two pages) at the cameramen and told to "shoot a few scenes whilst drunk". - "Don't worry boys, we'll tie the scenes together in the editing room". The editor should be tarred, feathered and put in the stocks for allowing this monstrosity to hit the silver screen 6) Not one but TWO senior CIA operatives giving the tender feminine treatment to the mistreated and misunderstood Jason Bourne. - Putting their lives on the line for someone they couldn't even be sure wasn't a traitor. Talk about stupid nincompoops. (Whilst the evil male CIA members plot to terminate any operative who so much as drops a paper-clip on the floor). (well, all men are evil, aren't they? - Except for SNAGS of course). Yes, this really is a modern and politically correct film that shows the females to be the heroes of the day and the oppressive males as the real threat to humanity. 7) When the you-know-what finally hits the fan, good triumphs over evil (just like it always does, eh?) and the would-be assassin gets the drop on Jason Bourne - he suddenly undergoes a guilt trip and refrains from pulling the trigger (Yeah - right...) - at that very moment, the evil deputy director just happens to turn up - gun in hand and he does pull the trigger. - How did this 60 year old man run so fast and not even be out of breath? Wonders will never cease 8) Don't worry, there's a senate hearing and the baddies get pulled up before the courts. Well, we can't have nasty, politically incorrect, CIA operatives going round shooting people, can we? How lovely to see a true to life P.C. film of the Noughties. -------------The Bourne Ultimatum is utter rubbish.

Ratatouille (2007)

The best animated film I have ever seen

[10/10 · 14 July 2007]

I don't need to give a synopsis, since there have been so many from other reviewers. As you can see, all the feedback has been extremely positive. I just wanted to add my 2 cents worth to the reviews and agree with all the other people who feel that this animated film is the jewel in the crown of animated movies. Happy, sad, poignant, uplifting, nostalgic, BELIEVABLE (yes, really!) and ethereal. This is a must watch for all filmgoers. I can't wait to buy the DVD. I just hope there's a chance it'll be available in high definition, to do the experience justice. See this film, even if you have to crawl over broken glass and hot coals to get to it. It was a privilege to watch this superb piece of art.

United 93 (2006)

Good film but the Shake-Cam makes it unwatchable.

[3/10 · 19 August 2006]

I did like the film in some respects but I do not like to leave the cinema with motion sickness. Paul Greengrass (a fellow countryman of mine) either has a neurological disorder or he's obsessed with throwing the camera around to induce sickness in his audience. There was a time when steadicam was used - very frugally - to try and give a little immediacy to a movie. Mr. Greengrass should try and grasp the fact that steadicam is like garlic - use it a little and only on occaasion. To have the entire film with focus going in and out, and with juddering and shaking (which would make a 7 year old with a camcorder look professional by comparison) shows that he has "Shake-Camitis", to the exclusion of all other cinematographic techniques. Anyone else on earth could have made a much better job of the photography. After I had to sit and suffer through The Bourne Supremacy (another of Mr. Greengrass's Shake Cam monstrosities, I've decided to leave Mr. Greengrass's films and his St. Vitus's dance to other unfortunate cinema attenders. UGH!

Flightplan (2005)

Good beginning - Very mediocre middle. Hopeless ending.

[2/10 · 28 February 2006]

This could have been a good film. It starts off reasonably well. Very shortly into the film, the director has already demonstrated that he assumes the viewers are all gullible idiots. The plot holes are so large, you could fly an over-sized jumbo jet through them. It deteriorates from there and pretty soon, we can see that the director is no Hitchcock (or even Ed Wood). The ending is an insult to the intelligence of a chimpanzee and destroyed what vestige of credibility might have remained. This film is a dreadful waste of the actors' talent. However did Jodie Foster agreed to appear in this film? - Wonders will never cease. Even the viewing public of the 1920's would have jeered at this turkey of a film. I left the theater feeling as if I'd been cheated out of the seat price.

Parting Shots (1998)

Delicious........."A jolly bad fellow" meets "Death wish"

[8/10 · 21 March 2005]

Not perfect and - yes - Chris Rea is too bland and monotone but this is a highly entertaining film. Harry - told by his doctor that he's got terminal stomach cancer, goes out on a murdering spree. (People who have injured him in the past). All of the people he kills are "makes your skin crawl" real scum bags. I thought the film was WELL worth watching and I - for the life of me - can't understand why so many people are bagging it. Do try and get "A jolly bad fellow", this is a 1964 film and is a little similar to Parting Shots. Diana Rigg plays the callous, materialistic, poodle loving ex-wife of Harry. Bob Hoskins plays the low life slime ball crooked financier and Joanna Lumley plays a existentialist ex hippy wine bar owner, with extreme moral flexibility. This film is almost a Who's Who of British movie actors. See the film, you'll love it. Ian Rivlin, Australia

The Bourne Supremacy (2004)

The shaky-cam made me nauseous. The plot was hopeless.

[26 August 2004]

What on earth are some modern photographers up to? - I was taking moving pictures better than this with my dad's Super 8 camera, when I was 6 years old. The "scenes" last about 1/4 second and that wouldn't be so bad if the viewer had even a fighting chance of focusing on anything. This, unfortunately, is not possible as the photographer seems to suffer from Parkinson's disease, hemiballismus and St. Vitus' Dance - all at the same time. The shots were badly exposed, out of focus, jerking this way and that way and nearly always had some head or other object obscuring most of the subject matter. In short - literally, truly and genuinely an unwatchable movie. About 10% of the people in the cinema walked out. I envy them. I'm greedy and wanted my $9 worth. Like an idiot, I stayed to the end and I still have the effects of motion sickness.

Apart from this appalling and pathetic demonstration of avant-garde cinematography gone seriously wrong, the plot was convoluted, improbable and generally a yawn from beginning to end. Compared to the original movie, which was excellent, the new film appears to have been made by an alien who's balance organs haven't quite adjusted to Earth's gravity.

My score? - Easy - 0.001 out of a possible 1000. - Whatever disdainful superlatives I contemplate, they still don't adequately describe this dog of a movie.

Ugh!

Stacy's Knights (1983)

Girl with amazing ability for Blackjack, breaks casino's bank.

[7/10 · 6 May 2003]

SPOILER BELOW - DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT THE PLOT RUINED! The protagonist, Andra Millian, plays a girl (Stacy Lancaster) who has a natural talent for blackjack. She starts off as a reserved girl with no confidence. Kevin Costner (Who's 27 in this 1982 film and plays Will Bonner) takes a shine to her and infuses her with confidence in herself. He encourages her to take on the casinos. After a debacle at a casino, Costner gets beaten to death by some of the casino's heavies. Anda devises a plan to ruin the casino, with the aid of some guys that she hires to play blackjack, under her watchful eyes. There are large plot holes and the film starts off quite slow. It picks up a lot of momentum and towards the end, the film is quite gripping. In some ways it reminded me of a casino version of the original "Gone in 60 seconds". - Maybe because aspects of the film appeared a little amateurish and other parts of the film seemed "reportage". I'd never heard of Andra Millian before (or since). She does have some acting skills. It was interesting to see Costner in this early film. He easily shone out from all the others in terms of charisma and acting ability. Watch this film for 90 minutes of fairly good entertainment. It's not a great film but it's a good film. Ian Rivlin

Gangs of New York (2002)

This was a good film, rather than a great film

[15 February 2003]

I won't go over the story - It's been well described. 1) Direction - good but not up to Scorsese's best 2) Acting - Daniel Day-Lewis 10/10 (The film is worth seeing just for his performance. This will definitely earn him an Oscar). Jim Broadbent - 8/10 extremely creditable. Leonardo Di Caprio - 6/10. OK but somewhat disappointing. Cameron Diaz. 5/10. So-so and her role was not just superfluous but rather distracting in many respects. 3) Cinematography - 9/10. Stunning and any of the CGI effects were seamless. 4) Editing. Very poor. 2/10 It always amazes me how poor editing can make or break a movie and I regret that Scorsese took his eye off the ball, in this respect. (The bad editing disrupts the flow to the extent that things get disjointed and confusing at times). 5) Screenplay - 5/10. Could easily have been improved. I can't but hope that at some future date, they'll be a re-release of this film that has been re-edited. It would be a big improvement. All the above taken into account, it still was a good film. At 2hrs 45 minutes, it is too long. 2 hours would have been the perfect length.

Changing Lanes (2002)

Great film, spoilt by jerky cinematography

[28 November 2002]

This was a good film. No need to go into details as it has so eloquently been described by many others. It can be viewed on a multiplicity of levels. My biggest complaint is this obsession cameramen have nowadays of doing their damndest to make the audience nauseous by jerking the camera around (to try and give a pathetically poor attempt at "reality"). Doesn't work and never will. - Remember "The Insider"? - same problem. Ian