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Reviews
Trail of the Kiamichi Beast (2023)
Most useless Video in history
I have no clue how the producers conned Tubi into offering this nonsense. Most of it could have been shot on my parents' acreage outside of Broken Bow, Oklahoma. He must have used spooky ambient music from a sleep app. There is little legit about this short video. No bigfoot, no beast, no nuthin'. Just goofy.
People have tried for years to stimulate tourism in southeast Oklahoma by spreading stories about a Bigfoot creature. It's absurd, as local residents will tell you. Yet I watched this tripe. I found my purpose in life: To warn people away from embarrassing crap like this.
Master Hughes doesn't even properly pronounce "Kiamichi".
Withnail and I (1987)
I was never amused.
This is the sort of film I normally love, and will watch repeatedly. I appreciate quirky films with great dialogue and wonderful supporting characters - examples for me are What about Bob, Waiting for Guffman and The Survivors. Having scanned the positive reviews, I expected to be charmed by this film.
As I watched, I kept thinking "this will pick up," but it never did. The only remotely redeeming scenes were those with the Uncle Monty and Danny the dealer. The uncle came off as a bit creepy and pervy though, as he seemed determined to get to know Marwood more intimately.
I'm submitting negative comments for a movie I disliked, but one that is beloved by most, mainly because I was infuriated with the final scene. Several reviewers pointedly mentioned it. One even said "even if Withnail is not for you, at least fast forward and watch the final scene." I sat through the whole thing, but I looked forward to that final scene. The final scene was a big fat nothing. What did I miss? What was so special in the final scene? I watched to the end, even the credits. I wuz robbed.
Under the Banner of Heaven (2022)
An Offensive and Inaccurate Disappointment
One wonders if Dustin Lance Black, an anti-LDS activist and former Mormon, was chomping at the bit to do a hit piece on the Latter-Day Saints.
I was a huge fan of the book, albeit I found it deeply disturbing. It's the only time I ever had a nightmare about a book.
Another reviewer mentioned this was already a compelling story. No need to amplify, stereotype, or spread hate against a great American faith.
"Milk" was a decent enough movie. With his background, Black could have made an outstanding mini series (three episodes would have been plenty to tell this story, NOT SEVEN as most of us would likely agree). As ultra hyper-sensitive as the LGBTQ+INFINITY community are, Mr. Black might have have summoned a wee bit of empathy for his former faith or the good people. No happy memories of a sweet Nan? Scouts? Everyone was Hand Maiden's Tale-ish?
Instead, he portrayed Mormons in the most cringe worthy light possible. It's a good idea to mute the volume; it makes the dreadful script easier to endure.
He even tossed in unrelated animal abuse and some bizarre anti-Semitism from a lady with dementia - because nutty Mormons, right?
I'm angry someone at FX didn't stop this monstrous adaptation. Smh.
All the Money in the World (2017)
I forgot Kevin Spacey was cancelled
The movie was slow at times. I fell asleep during first viewing.
It was a bit dark. For some scenes, I wanted somebody to splurge and turn on a lamp. It didn't do anything for the atmosphere-mood-feel of the movie; it made it difficult to figure out what was going on.
The lighting for ear sequence was better, but I didn't watch or listen it. I saw Reservoir Dogs. I oppose gratuitous ear violence.
Christopher Plummer rebooted his iconic (to me at least) Ralph Nickleby character from the excellent 2002 film, "Nicholas Nickleby." Same character, different century. I'm glad he got an Oscar nomination, but Sutherland's portrayal was much much better in "Trust".
Watch 'em both.
Interstellar (2014)
I fell for the hype...
Two vomitous scenes out of many:
Anne Hathaway's stupid stupid character refused to follow a direct order to return to the pod before the wave. Wrecked the mission.
Matthew McConaughey's cringe-worthy crying scene.
I wanted a Disney Star Wars monster to show up and destroy them all.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
So bad I remember...
Four things I learned.
1. Superman wore a bad bad wig.
2. Superman actually had pit stains at times.
3. Never ever see a movie with which Golan Globus was associated.
4. The friend who went with me (at my insistence) would never speak to me again.
Scandal (1989)
Found
Someone called Optimistic Max has uploaded this film to YouTube.
Thanks to this film, I got the references Patsy Stone made in AbFab.
The Andy Griffith Show: My Fair Ernest T. Bass (1964)
Mr. Schwamp
Mr. Schwamp was a small but memorable addition to several episodes. In this one, he helpfully pinched Ernest T. Bass.
Someone in this great country knows who played the mysterious Mr. Schwamp. Perhaps a gofundme reward would coax a friend, neighbor, or relative to come forward with a back story.