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Reviews
Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: Shgoratchx! (1981)
Stupid, stupid, stupid
If you have ever desire to see the worst hour, in television history, look no further. This episode is absolute garbage. Buck Rogers versus the seven dwarves? Have you got to be out of your ever loving mind?
There is not a single moment in this Ridiculousness that isn't terrible. Bad writing, bad acting, and such overwhelming, emotional flapdoodle, that even the worst soap opera could not lower its self to. It's not surprising that the series ended three episodes later. Considering how bad the show was, I am amazed it lasted one and a half seasons , but this episode put a very large fat final nail into this incredibly silly and derivative show.
Carol & The End of the World (2023)
Tacky and dull--a celebration of mediocrity?
There is a slow burn, and then there are whiffs of smoke from dying embers. Carol & The End of the World is the latter.
A rather sodden take on the apocalypse that celebrates mediocrity. What people see in this is beyond me. There is tasteless nudity for the sake of tasteless nudity, freedom of expression disguised as hedonism, and then there is Carol. A nobody. And not even an interesting nobody. She lives her simple, unimaginative life, forsaking anything in it that would bring her much joy. She walks around in a gray cloud of depression and mundaneness, seemingly anxious only for the hovering giant stellar body to arrive and take her out of her self imposed drudgery. And for this reason, people are celebrating the genius of this animated show?
I understand that there might be people in this world when faced with the end of it would probably want to ignore it and just go about their drab lives. That doesn't mean you get to make a cartoon about it and think it's funny. After three episodes, I gave up. I take medication to alleviate my depression. I don't need somebody shoving it back in my face.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Subspace Rhapsody (2023)
Certainly the silliest episode ever.
Don't get me wrong; this episode was not bad. There have been considerably worse stories in the franchise's incarnations in the past. But whereas the idea is sound and its application well done, by the time you get toward the episode's end, the Broadway style tunes and exuberant singing are starting to wear a bit thin.
And then there are the singing and dancing Klingons. If there was something I could have gone to my grave never having seen, it is Boy Band Klingons. What's next, Rapping Romulans? Gorns doing grunge? The possibilities are frightening.
I can't say that the songs are particularly memorable, but they are presented with gusto, enthusiasm, and conviction. And to Subspace Rhapsody credit, we learn more about the characters in their lives, feelings and motivations than we have over the last two seasons. A number of plot threads are creatively tied up and numerous characters are further set upon the paths that their future selves will become (as depicted in the original series).
Star Trek can now claim another theme that it has tackled, along with westerns, gangsters, murder mysteries and the prerequisite amnesia episodes. This singing and dancing tour de force will go down as one of the most talked about ever.
And I hope and pray they will never do it again...
Marci X (2003)
Kudrow photocopies it in
From what little I remember of this dud, no one in it was especially enthusiastic to be there. Lisa Kudrow couldn't even be bothered to phone in her so-called rap song at the end. She gyrates and talks her way through it, but you could tell she couldn't wait to be done with this nothing of a comedy.
The jokes were not memorable, there was no plot of any mention and even the actors could've been replaced by cardboard cut outs and no one would have notice the difference. Obviously, this was all made for a paycheck
I give this two stars only because I'm feeling generous this evening. It barely merits that.
Apollo 10 1/2: A Space Age Adventure (2022)
Fly Me to the Moon...
I was four years old when we landed on the moon, but I lived only 50 miles from Kennedy Space Center-so the moon landing for us was always an event that you not only saw on TV, but also could experience from your backyard. You could see those tails of flame burning up into space, then walk back inside and watch Uncle Walter narrate the rest.
This movie was a lot of fun! It was more of a taste of yesterday than about the moon landing. We spend more time looking over what Houston was like in the late 1960s, how kids lived and played, what was in our minds and hearts and how the politics of the time played into our opinions. The moon landing in this film is more something to bind all the stories, emotions and events together in a coherent fashion. However, the gimmick works beautifully and having it seen through the eyes of a young boy imagining that he was actually the first person to step on another world is inspired. No doubt many children (and a few adults) were dreaming the same thing at that time.
Beautifully animated through rotoscoping, it is a far more approachable film than A Scanner Darkly (which was made in the same method), but doesn't dumb itself down either. For all the DDT, questionable child disciplining techniques and 'duck and cover' drills, you still get a sense of family and neighborliness, a taste of a time that bordered between simplicity and the technological tsunami about to fall upon us. Nostalgia should be more like this; uplifting, inspiring, a bit melancholy, but always leaving the audience with a desire to return to those days, but being thankful also that they are long behind us.
The Bubble (2022)
Movie should've listened to its own lessons.
"A 126-minutes hot mess top-heavy with far too many big name actors, a script with a thousand ideas and no creative way of using any of them, atrocious editing and a director that has gotten too big for his britches."
That will probably be the legacy of The Bubble.
Like Jodorowsky's Dune or Gilliam's Don Quixote or (surprise!) even in the last few minutes of The Bubble itself, Judd Apatow should have realized that a much better picture would have come from a documentary about the making of it-because the actual film is like an icy highway with a hundred speeding semi tractor trailers on it: Nothing good is going to happen, but the news footage of it may be interesting.
Poor Karen Gillan. You are far too talented to have to be in this dreck.
Star Trek: Plato's Stepchildren (1968)
Only Michael Dunn saves this....barely
Rock bottom worst Trek episode ever-and that's saying something. For all the campiness of 'Spock's Brain', 'And the Children Shall Lead' and 'Way to Eden, they at least had some redeeming value in one way or another. 'Stepchildren' had nothing but, sadism, torture, sexual harassment and little else, save the talents of Michael Dunn; an actor that passed far too soon. He is the one bright spot amongst Shatner's whinnying and Nimoy's poor singing. Even that famous kiss cannot raise this embarrassment out of the muck. At least there are many, many more wonderful episodes among all the series that allows us to forget this monstrosity exists.
Army of the Dead (2021)
It's Aliens in Vegas, folks.
Tear down this movie to its basic structure and you will have Aliens (with a dash of I Am Legend and half a dozen other movies). This doesn't make it unwatchable, but you'll probably realize about halfway through that you've seen this all before. By the end, every plot point is that is in the original James Cameron film is unabashedly ticked off here. For $90 million, you'd think they could have make it more original.
The Right Stuff (2020)
It doesn't even crash and burn...
Swept up from the corners of the original book, this series tries to cover what the original movie and From the Earth to the Moon didn't. The problem is, there's not that much left that's terribly interesting. Lots of personal problems and the usual home dramas, but that doesn't automatically make it engrossing.
Initially, I was very excited about seeing an expansion of this incredible time in American history. But five episodes in, and I feel like I'm watching more of an episode of 90210 than the glorious fly boys we saw in the original movie. The comparisons to the original 1982 film are inevitable, but for all its goofy patriotic splash, the original carried you along for a fun and inspiring ride. That panache rarely exists in this new version. I'm wishing the entire thing had not been made into a television program.
The Chuck Yeager story isn't even touched here, and as anyone who read his autobiography will know, there is far more of his story to tell. The actors are far too tall to be the Mercury 7 (save for Gus Grissom), John Glenn looks more like a young Dana Carvey, Annie Glenn barely has her speech problem and the balance is little more than conversations at cocktail parties and press briefings. If one unintentionally hilarious scene of a German scientist about to take a shotgun to a malfunctioning rocket on the pad had not been shown, there would have been little else to ease the ennui.
Read the book, watch the movie, catch the original newsreels on a YouTube. There's not much here worth having to know.
The Eric Andre Show (2012)
The stupidest damn thing I have ever watched
Jumping around and destroying your set in front of a bunch of other people is not funny, it's asinine. I would not show this program to my worst enemy.
Lost in Space: Trip Through the Robot (1967)
Why did science fiction fans suffer this?
I have little to say about this episode other than it is about as ridiculous as it could get by this point. Yet, surprise, surprise-it gets worse. Far, far worse.
Lost in Space: The Questing Beast (1967)
Dr. Smith finally shows an iota of honor
While the preview looked like another anachronistic bit of foolishness, this episode actually grew on me as it progressed. The costumes were ridiculous (as usual), there were the requisite explosions (as usual) and the dialogue over the top (as usual). However, for once in his miserable life, Dr. Smith showed mercy, compassion, and even a little bit of honor--far unlike him, but definitely refreshing to see. Hans Conried and and uncredited June Foray as an updated St. George and the Dragon made this episode fun and a bit above the usual dreck the show is known for. For once in my life, I cannot entirely belittle Lost in Space.
Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)
Terrific episode!
This particular episode is so meta, so outside the norm of how we view television, that explaining it to those who have not seen it would be a great disservice. I'll simply say, go watch it, DON'T choose wisely (because, where is the fun in that?), and simply enjoy an incredible Black Mirror episode that will probably be talked about for years.
(And when it comes up, choose Tomita's Bermuda Triangle-it's one of my favorite albums.)😉
Lost in Space: Forbidden World (1966)
Another brainless episode
Dr. Smith crashes the Jupiter ll and no one so much as chides him for his stupidity. Why does anyone give credence to this series? It's not even so bad it's good.
Lost in Space (1965)
An Insipidly Stupid Show
When I watched this show for the first time at seven years old, I could tell that it was created, directed, and produced by idiots. I have such great sympathy for all actors involved (except Jonathan Harris) that they had to endure acting in this foolish and idiotic program for three years. Even Guy Williams gave up acting after becoming a bit player on a show he had top billing on.
Thank goodness Star Trek came along and gave us a modicum of intelligent science fiction.
Movie 43 (2013)
Excrement--literally and figuratively
I knew l was in trouble when Hugh Jackman took off his scarf....and it went downhill from there. There are gutters built higher and with more dignity than Movie 43. Nearly every joke involves some sort of humiliation of the genitalia (both male, female and even cat), scatological reference or insult to the handicapped. 'Human Centipede' had more grace than this garbage and snuff films have more charm. I had to wonder just what the producers had against the many A-listers in this 'film' that forced them to have to act in this. Movie 43 has to be a low point in their careers, bar none.
Anthology movies generally do not do well at the box office, and comedic ones doubly so. Kentucky Fried Movie and UHF did not do very well in the 70's and 80's, and Movie 43 is living proof that the decades have not improved this tiny genre.
Even with my favorites Uma Thurman and Elizabeth Banks in it, l still cannot recommend this putrid lump of celluloid in the slightest. If l could, l would have given it a rating in negative numbers.
Fred: The Movie (2010)
High pitched excrement
The only thing that would improve this "movie" would be its own nonexistence.
I won't insult any reader here by trying to explain plot or the characters other than everyone one on screen must have been deaf not to be driven insane by the main character's screeching and generally asinine actions. I am rather surprised that the other characters did not kill this dope Fred if for no other reason than to save their own ears. His high school counselor would even have advised him to blow his pea brain out.
There is nothing, but nothing to recommend this holocaust of a film....and yet, l have learned that there are two sequels. Surely, a sign of the End Times--and Fred is at least three of the Four Horsemen.