DeanAmythe Reviews

Anne+ (2021)

Wonderful representation, shallow drama

[4/10 · 5 March 2024]

Looking for LGBTQ+ Dutch films to write a paper about - on that front this is marvelous, an unapologetically queer film that fully embraces itself and reveals gender and sexuality as entirely fluid concepts. Not a fan of its direct lecturing, educating the unaware audience of drag history through a character who is consistently treated as some sort of mouthpiece for the entire community. Generally the film is eye-rollingly on-the-nose, blatantly stating its themes and emotional stakes (the utterly pointless narration is the epitome of this) while, ironically, remaining obfuscated, the central relation so criminally underdeveloped that the inevitable confrontation where insults and accusations fly across the room leaves you cold - not knowing whether those accusations have any basis in reality, you can merely imagine, not interpret (let alone have an actual stance). There are some effective threads, like the lead's trouble accepting polyamory, but if they're not weaved into solid attire, who would possibly want to wear it.

Brief Encounter (1945)

Trains as Everything

[8/10 · 5 March 2024]

You enter the carriage, sit down, and stare out the window as the train leaves the station. You watch the land transform in front of your very eyes as the locomotive transports you to, whether true or just in the sense it instills, a faraway location, teeming with new prospects and ripe for discovery.

Trains are dreams.

Yet, there's a sadness in knowing your departing is definite. The railroad is where you must remain until your next stop, and where you left and where you could've gone instead are now opportunities that you failed to seize. Every other train passing by is one you didn't take.

Trains are melancholia.

As you gaze out the compartment window, speeding through the world, you might experience a sensation opposite to reality: that, instead, the compartment is stationary and the land is the object in motion. The distant environment morphs into a panorama the edges of which become invisible, and, even if just for a moment, there is nothing else in the universe but that landscape.

Trains are cinema.

Society of the Snow (2023)

As Blank as the Snow

[6/10 · 5 February 2024]

At its best when it finds a sense of community and character, but these moments are few and far between. For a story about a group of people stuck in a place this displays little interest in psychological depth. It's frustratingly objective, with nearly all scenes' attention directed towards the progress to salvation rather than interpersonal conflict and philosphy of the individual (one of its best scenes has a guy explain how he sees deity not as a man in the sky but a force that runs through his fellow survivors) and this subjectivity is vital for a plot where, even if you know absolutely nothing about the true tale, the mere fact that this is based on one is enough to deduce that there's one singular outcome. All the time spent working towards that outcome thus feels unnecessary, effort that could've been directed elsewhere. As it stands, characters are just barely that, usually defined by nothing more than what might as well be their voting ballot. "I agree / I disagree". "Hopeful / Pessimistic". Bayone does luckily utilize the event-driven nature to properly build a seriously oppressive atmosphere: the only way he could've heightened the sense of cold was to actually place you in the ice. These people's situation is dour, and everyone looks and acts the part -- that Makeup and Hairstyling nomination is well deserved. Best International Film, though? I beg to differ.

The Iron Claw (2023)

Not Quite a Knock-out

[7/10 · 5 February 2024]

Probably don't even have to mention that this is brilliant technically and performance-wise (if it wasn't for the hefty competition, this would've no doubt boasted great contenders for this award season); however, I could never shake the feeling that the reason for its existence was consistently and often solely the inherent drama extracted from the true story. While it no doubt altered some aspects to better suit a feature film, it never really adds much apart from frankly basic themes of masculinity and oppressive nurturing. On a plot level this makes for a somewhat unnatural 'and-then' structure (split on whether to consider this a problem in based-on-reality films), but what I'm more concerned with is the depth that this loses out on, where the surface level is the only plane explored. I'm more than convinced there lies gold underneath that never gets mined - and I feel it was necessary to really give me that definitive emotional strike, but reading the reviews on here reveals I'm in the minority on that front. Still, that surface is a shiny one, and if you're for whatever reason in the mood for a feel-bad picture that isn't Glazer's Holocaust film, this is a safe bet.

Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020)

Pressing and Captivating

[7/10 · 3 February 2024]

The urgency of the subject matter means simply telling this story is enough to cement it as emotionally resonant - but I rarely if ever buy a film's value based purely on its real-world relevancy (that I reserve for documentaries). Luckily, this has a delicacy and respect in its execution that lends it a tragic and pressing atmosphere and boasts a terrific lead performance (could not hold back tears on the titular scene). However, not always enamored with how this goes deliberately out of its way to include as many douchebag men as possible, as if every conflict that arises from the core drama isn't already inherently attributed to those exact people.

Incredibles 2 (2018)

Downgrade from near-perfection is still great

[8/10 · 25 January 2024]

Brad Bird has a knack for staging action that he gets to express even more so in animation, and if any argument is to be made for superhero films to move that medium, it's this. While a definite downgrade, especially in terms of plot, from THE INCREDIBLES, the supers didn't get to interact with their powers much until the final act in that first film (which was, of course, the point, and certainly no detriment) and that happens to be where this takes off, allowing many more showcases of dynamic action. Also helps that this looks fantastic, is frequently hilarious, and Giacchino's score never fails to excite. I know superhero fatigue is a thing right now, but I certainly wouldn't mind one of these every few years.

Priscilla (2023)

Antidote to ELVIS (2022), but no improvement

[6/10 · 18 January 2024]

Sofia Coppola continues to elicit little more than my frustrated indifference. Her minimalism allows for delicate pieces of cinema, so delicate, in fact, that I feel she refrains from anything that threatens to break them. Nearly the entirety of PRISCILLA is comprised of a constant back-and-forth, a 'he mad, she sad' that ends every scene on the same note and leaves every subtextual and between-the-lines hints at the central power imbalance feeling completely blunt (did we really need that moment of Priscilla saying "I'll miss you" and receiving no equal response from Elvis repeated 5 times?). Furthermore, or perhaps because of this, there is barely any depth in character interiority. I really liked how Coppola made you simultaneously envy and pity a young Priscilla as she indulges in the pleasures Elvis provides her in that first half, but as soon as she starts to realize the wave of ecstasy she rides is slowly but surely crashing into the shoreline, the film loses any interest in exploring her beyond the notion of her struggle with having such a demanding and overpowering husband, which expresses itself in endless repetitions of Priscilla voicing her chagrin, him getting mad, her getting sad. As it finally reaches its denouement, I was reminded of Cooper's MAESTRO, having spent nearly 2 hours beside a character that I still didn't really know by the end.

This barrage of critique might appear to be in conflict of the indifference I mentioned in the very first line, but I want to underscore that all of this is simply me wanting more. It's frustrating seeing such intriguing characters be subjected to a surface level approach, even more so when the leads are desperately trying to etch some depth into that surface - which they luckily do achieve, though I prefer seeing performances be in service of a script that already manages this. It's funny that this released in the same year as MAY DECEMBER, another formally minimalist drama with age disparity in a relationship at its center, only Haynes completely outdoes Coppola by having actual progression in how we view the characters throughout the film (remarkably so, as it turns from a single- to a double- to a triple character study). MAY DECEMBER leaves you on a dot-dot-dot following intriguing questions, PRISCILLA ends on an unambiguous dot preceded by a long, drawn out sentence comprised of the exact same words, over and over. Note that these are, of course, different films with different end goals, but the fundamental lesson to learn is that if you curb the formal aspects of your film, you better properly fill that void with character. Ironic that this stands on the opposite side of the filmmaking spectrum to ELVIS, yet as I watched Luhrmann's biopic, what I could infer about Priscilla is nearly the same depth she receives here.

Adam (IV) (2019)

Nearly Great

[6/10 · 12 January 2024]

Frankly growing a little tired of this filmmaking style seemingly all low-budget drama productions around the world have adopted. Same flat, digital look; same aspect ratio; same shot - reverse shot methods of shooting; same handheld camerawork; same 'loose' plot structure. What helps set this apart from the homogeny, besides the great subject matter, are two genuinely fantastic leads who devastate with graceful subtlety and naturalness, and a tone that manages the balancing act of misery and hopefulness. It's actually pretty great until it grinds to a screeching halt to have its "now we are sad and cry" portion that constitutes the final ~15 minutes. Not that you can't have your emotional swings, but it holds this for way too long and really made me yearn for those excellent quiet moments earlier on. There's a scene around the midpoint where these two women spill their beans and it's as tragic as it is genuinely empowering. Easily the best scene in the film and one whose approach it should've abided by.

American Graffiti (1973)

Film as a Capsule

[8/10 · 12 January 2024]

For the entirety of its duration, AMERICAN GRAFFITI has you believe that there truly is nothing outside this infinite flow of automobile chrome, lit by neon and blooming with youthful romance. And that is precisely the point: how do you muster the courage to ever leave a place this familiar, this close to your heart? Beyond the borders of this town lies the unknown and the certainty of never returning, but also the world. As a look back, the melancholy that radiates from this query finds its footing not only in the departure of the space, but also of the time, as the sixties pour in to slowly suffocate what came before.

A graffiti portrait, with the bottom of the spray can in sight.

Anyone But You (2023)

This genre needs a little more right now

[4/10 · 4 January 2024]

Never been into romcoms all that much (I watch movies alone all day as a true cinglephile), though I acknowledge their importance in filling the void for comfort watches: predictable, feel-good, and just the right amount of schmaltz - perfect for a night out (or in). Their template structure isn't so much a concern rather than an obstacle to overcome, which can be achieved with a fun gimmick of some sort, or, simply, by hitting the comedic marks. If this genre wants to see its resurgence these points are vital, and last year's NO HARD FEELINGS was eager to prove that, a return to form yet still raunchy and imbued with a surprising air of maturity - and even when the jokes didn't land, there was still enjoyment to be found in the excellent(ly cast) leads. ANYONE BUT YOU is as back-to-basics as it could get and appears to be, to a certain extent, aware of that, though here the drive to still be its own thing is completely absent. What immediately stands out is the central 'do-they, don't-they', which pretty much feeds directly into the classic plot structure and is barely taken advantage of. When it is being used for comedic purposes, it easily produces the highlights of the film, like the view/spider scene. Most of this, though, is by-the-numbers and safe, lacking any edge or remarkable features aside from the leads' sex appeal (on that front, the quality of the casting is equal to NO HARD FEELINGS). Speaking of them, Powell is as fun as expected - he would most likely be a solid movie star if the current Hollywood system allowed for those - but Sweeney? No clue what she's doing with those line reads, constantly sounding like a bad impression of an American high school girl with a ready disinterest in everything. Not that she has that much to work with anyway, as the script suffers from eye-rollers of jokes, that first half especially bursting with "did I just say that out loud?" humor. My sold out screening was awfully silent through most of this, though maybe they were just there for the aforementioned hotties. Just so you know: you don't get a (proper) view of Sweeney's melons, but you do get to see a squeezed Australian glans. 4/10.

The Third Man (1949)

The Viennese Child of German Expressionism

[7/10 · 28 December 2023]

Canted cameras galore and perhaps the best lighting cinema has ever been graced with. Every technique here seems to be in service of a filmic translation of the tumultuous state that post-WW2 Vienna underwent. This is sadly incorporated into the score, which ends up in laughable and even vexatious dissonance with the atmosphere, a brooding underworld accompanied by music that sounds not too dissimilar to Spongebob's theme. Despite my appreciation for this directorial aim, though, I found most of this slightly underwhelming in that department. Lots of quick cutting during regularly paced dialogue and no eagerness for blocking lengthier shots. Made me yearn for Welles in the director's seat, which is funny considering the film instantly gets better as soon as he shows up (his reveal is the best moment in it). Until that point, I found myself somewhat disinterested in the mystery plot that meanders a bit. Still, these are all blemishes on an otherwise gleaming surface that I hope to appreciate more when I take another (and closer) look at it.

Great Expectations (1946)

Thoroughly Bland

[5/10 · 23 December 2023]

Can't say it met them.

Look, I won't go as far as to say much (if any) of this is downright bad, but it ends up the most boring kind of a 5/10, a thoroughly bland and unremarkable watch. Like HOBSON'S CHOICE I find Lean's directing here merely servicable, employing little of the intricate blocking and staging that I love from this era of filmmaking -- then again, some contemporaries that had the same problem were still met with my seal of approval. The main source of frustration here is simply a frightfully dull plot, the first hour so utterly devoid of substantive drama (outside of an annoying bunch acting ruthlessly mean to a kid) that when it picks up the slack later, I had already checked out, though was still attentative enough to notice the bizarre soap-opera level twists. If it wasn't for my self-imposed rule of seeing every film through to the finish line, I would've turned this one off quick.

Perfect Days (2023)

Empty Imitation

[5/10 · 19 December 2023]

These kinds of slice-of-lice, beauty-in-life's-minutia arthouse pictures have a tough time pleasing me. As someone who already finds infinite value in 'the little things', they do little for me -- which I understand may sound a bit silly, or like I'm tooting my own horn. However, after seeing so many reviews on here describe how the film provided them with new insights, or even completely altered their worldview, I can't help feeling like me being left out of that catharsis is because of that exact reason. This is not to say that I naturally dislike these kinds of films, it's just that I require more to be satisfied than a Portrait of a Man Entire. Just like unabashed misery porn, I want it to be more, to say something, to be about something (e.g. PATERSON is an ode to creativity; SORRY WE MISSED YOU tackles social issues). Otherwise, you're taking a peek into a random (and. Frankly, somewhat uninteresting) individual just for the sake of it. Now, I'm not going to pretend like this is 2 hours of doing merely that, but every attempt to direct attention to other themes isn't as much half-baked as it is barely out of the fridge. Generational divide, for example, is presented through a single disposable interaction that reeks of out-of-touch boomerisms (what teenager would ask their old uncle if an artist on their tape can be found on Spotify?). What this all ends up doing is making the whole thing unbearably dull, even without considering how the first hour is basically GROUNDHOG DAY if Bill Murray lost his memory just like everyone else: endless repetitions of the same exact routine -- which can work, as Jarmusch has proven, which is truly ironic considering how much of an inspiration Wenders was to him. Almost feels like Wenders wanted to turn the tables, but ended up doing nothing but imitate, and making a lackluster imitation at that. Pulls some very obvious emotional punches which have clearly resonated with a ton of people -- but for me, they hit nothing but dead air.

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

Not quite as collosal as the monster

[6/10 · 13 December 2023]

Feels like a spiritual successor to JAWS - with one moment in particular that is a mere one-liner away from being a direct reference - in both its adventurous naval action and the classic 'team of ordinary people band together to defeat a common enemy' that was also a major element in SHIN GODZILLA. Speaking of the guy, his strength as a gateway for metaphors and social themes remains a force to be reckoned with. Was particularly enamored with its anti-state patriotism in a post-WW2 Japan, a newfound, independent unity in name of a nation that let its people down. How Godzilla is handled in-action is not always as solid, though: especially in the first half every time he appears it's as if he was already there in a lengthier version of that scene, like its own contained in medias res - his first appearance is him just showing up and someone else telling the lead "oh yeah, that's Godzilla" as if he regularly pays a visit. That unnatural feeling is applicable to the whole drama side of things, sadly, with consistent overacting that reminded me of some terrible anime compilations, and a plethora of soap opera worthy melodramatic moments (and simply dumb moments in general, like someone thinking out loud "is that... Godzilla?" upon seeing him smash through several buildings). That ending in particular... oh, man. It's not enough to sour the whole thing, but not for lack of trying.

Luckily, the action side of things fares much better. Godzilla ravages like crazy and the third act made me realize this was like Spielberg's blockbuster in more ways than its most basic contents. It's becoming increasingly difficult to find big, effects driven action that is even remotely exciting, and despite the ease with which you can map out the whole finale before it has even started, it keeps you on the edge of your seat throughout. Genuinely tense and satisfying; blows much of what you see nowadays out of the water, pun unintended. Ignore the rating on this one: this is what I want to see more of. Takes itself maybe slightly too serious with its aforementioned melodrama, however, I'd take that over the undying irony plaguing blockbusters any day.

Maestro (2023)

Still know nothing about the guy

[5/10 · 8 December 2023]

Came in knowing nothing about the guy, and even after 2 hours I can't say that changed. A common critique of biopics is how their structure usually facilitates merely the broad lines, the Wikipedia summary. Well, let me tell you, Bernstein's Wikipedia page is infinitely more interesting than anything this shows on screen. I mean, the guy had an FBI file due to his left-wing activism, and even Sherlock couldn't deduce that out of this film. Granted, Cooper seems more drawn to interiority, to psyche, but his insistence on bulldozering through the story leaves emotional connections severed. So much nuance is lost that when Bernstein has a fight with his wife, the performances mighty as can be, the motivations behind their disagreement were absent to me. Cooper doesn't seem able to decide how the hell he wants to approach this man. Is it about a troubled mind, an artist wrestling with the inevitably of his end? Is it about a marital struggle fueled by sexuality and ego? Is it about Bernstein's connection to the realm of music? It's all of this and ends up none of this, each element so criminally undercooked it's ultimately unfocused.

Maybe the biggest offense, though, is how little we see him actually conduct. It takes 90 minutes for the film to properly show us the conductor doing what that name entails, and it's powerful, not only musically but also through the energy and dedication displayed by Cooper. Obviously, 2 hours of this is not what I'm asking for - but it does hint at the underlying problem of Cooper not understanding where the strengths in this tale lie. Incredible how last year's Tár boasts a completely fictional character that feels more real and defined than the recreation of an actual person here.

At the end of the day, it looks neat and features some marvelous performances that will probably sneak their way into the awards season, but, ultimately, there doesn't appear to be a point, which dooms both your engagement and remembrance: I watched this mere hours ago and forgot about it multiple times already.

Napoleon (2023)

Dull biopic livened with comedy

[5/10 · 7 December 2023]

Not going to concern myself with the factuality here, but I can say with certainty that any historian watching this will voluntarily submit themselves to the guillotine - and, judging by his various statements on this matter, Ridley Scott himself would most likely be there to gleefully watch it unfold. The most egregious inaccuracy here, though, is how this is not listed as a comedy. If Joaquin Phoenix derived hilarity from (sexual) ineptitude in Beau Is Afraid, here he takes it a step further, channeling the energy of a Redditor centuries before the invention of the internet. Every scene with him and Kirby is a goldmine of laughter, from Bonerparte's perpetual sex drive to him immaturely chucking food at his wife, and even outside of his marital affairs, it doesn't let up (great year for tumbling down staircases). Considering this, you could almost entirely excuse its messy plot structure, since it's much more concerned painting a laughable portrait of Napoleon rather than execute a sincere biopic. However, once that second half rolls around and the comedy is relegated to little more than an occasional gag, the messiness instantly grows to be a hindrance. Throughout there is a severe lack of connective tissue, Napoleon jumping from place to place, battle to battle without much of a clue, if any, how we got there. Most we get is text on the screen ungracefully updating us on the characters and events we are currently seeing on screen. It functions moreso as a highlights reel rather than a complete picture - to illustrate, 1927's Napoleon is twice as long and was meant as the first of six films about the guy. Compressing his life into a tidy runtime is practically impossible, but as I mentioned, when you direct the attention to a unique method of unpacking it, in this case the comedy, it can work as a consise yet cohesive picture, because the larger structure that is being painted with too broad a brush is no longer the reason behind your investment. The action setpieces can serve this function too, but I'll get to that; what plagues the second half the most, is not just the aforementioned reduction in comedic intent, but how it serves to make way for actual, earnest drama between Phoenix and Kirby, which, I'm sorry, just doesn't work after endless scenes of Napoleon writing sappy letters, having sex like a horny rabbit, mumbling "nom-nom-nom" like a little kid when he wants some, and generally being a total manbaby. I can't buy into the gravity of this relationship when it has thus far constituted little more than what is basically an extended (yet still consistently funny) skit. It's not the only problem this creates, though: there is a massive disconnect between incel-cuck-simp-loser Napoleon and stoic-cold-general-strategist Napoleon, to the point where it feels like two different films have been inelegantly merged.

What people will be, at least in part, seeing this film for, though, is to witness epic historical battles be brought to live, and in that sense it mostly succeeds. It has the scale and the weight, but lacks excitement, which it does provide in the instances where Napoleon is executing a masterful, dynamic plan such as the first battle in the harbour and the one on ice (shame the latter was almost in its entirety shown in the trailers). Mostly, though, it's a lot of troops shooting a lot of troops, with little attention to individual beats. Especially the final battle was just kinda dull for me, not helped by the film's dour look, consisting only of desaturated colors that neither complement the comedy nor the intensity of the combat.

I'd hesitate to call this a disappointment: Scott's filmography, espcially recently, has been very much hit-or-miss. Knowning him, 4-hour director's cut will most likely be a better film, but I doubt many of the issues here can be fixed. If anything, I'm just secretly hoping for more of Napoleon's marital incompetency.

Bottoms (2023)

Intermittently funny

[6/10 · 5 December 2023]

For every joke that lands there are at least two that don't, and for every joke that doesn't land there's half an amusing background gag. While you figure out that cryptic math problem, let me emphasize that this is most definitely not an issue that lies with the performers, in fact, they are consistently the reason I was laughing. Seligman's sense of humor just doesn't gel with me as well as I would like - proven by my complete bafflement at seeing the genre Comedy ascribed to Shiva Baby after viewing it - though I don't think she particularly helps with very dry directing that isn't eager to spice up the (physical) jokes (outside of the finale, at least). Luckily, the film maintains a nice quick pace throughout that ensures none of the silence after a joke misses the mark lingers long enough to bother you, but it also means the jokes don't have much time to breathe - though in my case, that wasn't really a problem considering my laughter was intermittent.

There's more to this than the comedy, of course, but as a tale of female empowerment this barely finds success, merely pointing at the problems rather than assessing them. Ultimately, the 'solution' this promotes is that women ought to simply converse and fight back against male dominance - which is, of course, not a bad thing per say, however, the actual source of this issue, the men themselves, are largely left out of this dialogue. Can men do anything to help lift the weight, remove it, even? Bottoms isn't interested in asking such questions and ends up more a treatment of the symptoms than the cause.

At the end of the day, I did find enjoyment in this, but its (light) absurdism and rock-solid comedic performances are ultimately in service of hardly anything. Not the plot (which feels entirely constructed out of a tired template) not politics, not social ideas - unless you consider allowing the existence of gay people to fall under those categories. Ironically, Seligman unintentionally describes exactly where she falters in the script: you can say you support the cause, not actually convert those words into action, and yet be praised for the mere notion of your contribution.

Silent Night (2023)

Misfire

[4/10 · 5 December 2023]

Makes you realize just how economically John Wick used its runtime: about two-thirds of this is preparing for the action, then getting to the action and being slightly disappointed by it. Don't get me wrong, it still outshines a lot of its contemporaries - but that's a low bar to clear. The viscerality is there, but it's no The Raid; the vehicle combat is no Fury Road; the stairway oner is no Atomic Blonde; and I could keep going. Forgive the comparative nature of the analysis, but this does nothing we haven't seen before (outside of the dialogueless gimmick that frankly was a terrible decision) which would be fine if the supposed 'master of action' actually lived up to his name here. I have yet to properly dive into Woo's filmography, so I hope Silent Night ends up a stain on an otherwise perfectly clean blanket.

Cherry on top is the conservative fantasy of a man going on his sigma male grind, thereby losing any meaningful human connection, but ultimately it's all worth it because he went on a rampage against a bunch of gang members. Felt very sad indeed when they played stock sound effects of a kid laughing during all the flashbacks.

The Two of Us (1967)

Dodges conventions before they were just that

[6/10 · 29 November 2023]

Was pleasantly surprised to see this refrain from the structure you'd expect from this kind of film, the classic "person hates marginalized group(s) until he gets to know (one of) them" you see in, for example, American History X. No, this finds its conclusion in the grey, where a deeply prejudiced man might still be just that at the end, but no one would disagree he changed for the better. Instead of tension building up because of the kid concealing his true identity, bound to be unmasked, he cleverly turns the old man's antisemitic notions against him. It makes for a much more engaging plot than I find a lot of these other 60's French drama's to be, that are so infatuated with being as miserable as can be that they just completely lose me. It's not exempt from all the issues of its contemporaries, though: there's a lot of plot-meandering (that I seem to mind even more in French cinema) and I found most of this to be technically and formally uninspired. Also, it really sucks to be an animal in one of these.

Rope (1948)

Still outshines others

[8/10 · 29 November 2023]

Almost 80 years old yet still outshines so many modern films with ease. An absolute masterclass in blocking and framing, feels like an interwoven collage of perfect compositions. There are some of-its-times that could now be seen as distracting: as a product of a world still healing from the wounds of WW2 and its accompanying genocide this is a very blunt refutation of Nazism, and on a technical level the cuts in its one-shot mechanic aren't as well hidden as something like 1917. Judging the film for these frankly insignificant points is rather stupid, though, and even if you care enough to take these into consideration, what remains is still tightly written and expertly directed. For how unsubtly the separate takes are woven together, the shots themselves are still lengthy (there are about 10 cuts in this 80-minute butt-clencher) and I'm sure that if it was feasible at the time, Hitchcock would've shot the entire thing in one take.

Sisu (2022)

Tryhard Epicness has the averse effect

[5/10 · 29 November 2023]

Channels some clear Western vibes with its wide plains and old-school yellow title cards, starring an Eastwood-Wick mute one-man army who rages a Wolfenstein-esque war against a group of nazis. Could've been just a bit of simple dumb fun, but it insists on being super badass and cool to a ridiculous degree. Intense stares of muddy, groaning faces conjure subber-than-sub chants that try to evoke a sense of primal masculine force, wide shots of landscapes are accompanied by electronic droning, and when it really wants to be edgy, distorted riffs are eager to fill up the audio spectrum. Near self-parody in its own pursuit of epicness, made even more laughable by the incompetency of every hand-to-hand fight scene, where the performers are so stiff the camera and editing try to insert energy with awkward handheld and almost Taken-levels in regards to the pace of the cuts. Would've probably loved this if Chad Stahelski was involved.

The Color Purple (1985)

Spielberg goes Serious

[7/10 · 29 November 2023]

Spielberg's first go with 'serious' material, and you can very easily tell. Very melodramatic, especially in regards to the score, which is so overused in attempts to accentuate that it ends up in fact undermining some of its emotional moments. Also weirdly scared to really dig into the protagonist's torment, both physically and psychologically. I guess Spielberg didn't want to make a piece of misery porn, which I completely understand, but there is a very clumsy tonal dissonance at play throughout. The book has a history of censorship (on the American Library Association list of the 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 2000-2009 it has claimed the 17th spot) but here the atmosphere is bizarrely light, venturing into comedic territory a bit too freely. Though it does make the whole thing more entertaining (that furnace scene is gold) it often crosses the line and the dour feeling this should be conveying is compromised. This should've been more 12 Years a Slave and less Looney Tunes. That's a damn bizarre sentence, which really tells you all you need to know.

I can't deny that it's still powerful despite all of this (that ending got the tears flowing) and having Spielberg behind the camera, if nothing else, makes for a visual treat of a film. Hope the new adaptation doesn't shy away from the queerness like this one did.

Seven Samurai (1954)

Slightly underwhelmed

[8/10 · 29 November 2023]

One of those frustrating examples of finally checking out a highly acclaimed piece of cinema and being left with little more than appreciation for its legacy and the pure technical craft of it. I think the basis of this is as perfect of a story as it can get, but I was left utterly cold for way too much of this. Excessive in its length and populated with bland characters: I do appreciate how the samurai in question distinguish between themselves with different personality types but archetypes is frankly all they are (the most depth you can expect is 'forbidden romance' and 'troubled past'). There's also an issue I have that applies to my experience with other films from these older eras as well (which may very well just be a me-thing) where I tend to feel a lack of punctuation. Now, I'm not asking every film to be full-on Nolan and have everything try to be completely epic, in fact, I think he presents the other side of the punctuation coin in Oppenheimer with its constant blaring score and indulgent pacing -- when it's supposed to be quiet and slow down, it hardly does. It becomes a flatline of an experience. The opposite applies here: even when there's action, swords swinging, sheds burning, there's this ever-present sense of banality. Lots of instances where I numbly went "oh, guess we're doing this now". Maybe some of the setups got lost in translation (an announcement for a coming event)?

The rating I'm giving here must seem entirely out of proportion considering how admittedly harsh I'm being on this, but as stated earlier there is still plenty to marvel at. Even by todays standards, the imagery is striking and technically it's still incredibly well put together. My higher rating is reflecting this 'objective' quality (whatever that may mean in your subjective perception of that term) because I don't think, even without considering the heafty runtime, I'll be revisiting this anytime soon.

The Three Musketeers - Part I: D'Artagnan (2023)

Bland and Boring

[3/10 · 29 November 2023]

The type of film someone who sees one every 5 months will say was pretty good and then forget about in an hour. Most of this isn't even what I'd consider bad per say, but all of it is executed in an exceedingly dull manner, except I guess the fight scenes which are presented in long shots, but even those suffer from obnoxious handheld: they do this weird thing where the camera moves in synchronization with the blades, which I presume is supposed to accentuate each move, but ends up completely muddling the visibility.

So this ends up feeling like one of those TV productions with a half decent budget supporting it: it clearly isn't cheap but it does look the part. A complete bore of a visual palette - either orange-brown or the most flat looking blue you've ever seen - and nothing cinematographically of note. Conversations are shot / reverse shot with shallow focus (you know the kind) and a lot of scenes were clearly shot with the intention of getting a ton of coverage and hoping to get something out of it in the edit.

I usually don't delve into the audio part of things, but I just want to mention that this unapologetically copy-pasted Hans Zimmer's Batman theme (it's literally the "can I copy your homework" meme) and for some reason used a Wilhelm scream on a bird?? If someone put it there as a joke in secret, I applaud you for creating the best moment in this film.

The bar for that is as low as can be, though. Talking about a film like this, as much as my review here may prove otherwise, is difficult as it falls in the most boring category: utterly mediocre. The fact that this dares end on a cliffhanger is simply hilarious.

The Prince of Egypt (1998)

Loses crucial depth in its compression

[6/10 · 29 November 2023]

I am not too familiar with the original story so I am unaware if my issues with the narrative stem from that work (would be pretty funny if I end up criticizing such a historically indispensable work, though), but compressing such a lengthy tale that, mind you, got another film adaptation that's more than twice the length, has very clearly compromised its overall depth. Tries to tick all the boxes on the list of highlights with little regard for intricate development, rushing like crazy through the story beats (Moses' entire Hebrew (re)integration is jammed into a 2-minute song).

Luckily, the weak narrative handling of the material is slightly compensated for with the sheer artistry of the animation, which is absolutely gorgeous as long as the 2D-3D meshing succeeds in convincing, which is doesn't always do. Especially when the two styles interact the faults start to show, for example when a wonderful hand-drawn 2D character is 'holding' a model that is very clearly a work of the late-90's.

It's an odd package, from what I mentioned to its tonal clashing: among other upsetting things, it features a surprising amount of infanticide whilst still trying to maintain an appeal for younger audiences, like with its jokes that all fall completely flat. It's at its best when it fully embraces the source material and simply executes it in the most visually striking manner, as is certainly the case in the iconic parting of the Red Sea, which might be one of the most mystifying pieces of animation I've ever seen. Too bad it had to be the only scene to win me over instead of the one to solidify the fact that I was watching the masterpiece everyone else seems to hail as such.