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XZaint
Reviews
The Matrix (1999)
Matrix. Harder you Fly Up....
Undoubtly, One of the Best movies of the 99's. The Saga started smoothly, with Style, almost shining and vibrating with energy and...you get the idea.
It has good action scenes(and helped with many special effects) it makes it interesting to watch over and over.
Main Protagonist its Keanu Reeves(Neo), with the help of Laurence Fishbourne(Morpheus) and Carrie-Anne Moss(Trinity) has to find the truth behind the Matrix he was living. Shocking truth.This world is something virtual!oh the humanity! We actually live on ships, on a Huge Sewer! Well...anyway, the movie has everything: Weapons, Kung Fu, Bad Guys , a shocking story, a predictable love...simply complete. Too bad.Neo's "The Chosen One" Fate...would affect the quality of the next 2 movies. Still a piece of Art.Buy it. Best Part: "When you eat the cookie, you'll feel much better" Secret: Add 2 lbs. of "special flour" to your cooking =D
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
The Simpsons: Forceful laughs
The Simpsons. Does anybody on planet earth doesn't know of America's most popular family? I guess not.THE SHOW that is. Let's put it this way. TV SHOW----|----Movie. K? They will be separated from a barrier, so people don't confuse a Critic of this movie, to the TV Show.
When i was about to see this movie, I could almost imagine what kind of situation the Simpson Family would have. Homer's Fault. Why? Cause he would do something stupid.Why?Because he is stupid. I wasn't wrong at all. Let's face it. Many of the "funny" situations feels incredibly forced; Bart's Skate scene doesn't even has a funny reason to have happened,the Motor Bike driving around the Sphere on Springfield..totally ridiculous.No, Spider Pig didn't make me laugh.At ALL.NO,Piggy Potter either!.I could be really retarded and hypocrite if I did wanted to laugh at that.I only heard forced laughters behind and on the front,some maybe did enjoyed the moment, or some was just following the gag.
Anyway,the rest of the movie was full of weird and erratic scenes, such as Homer's discovery of his Sexuality.Zoophilia.With a Pig. Oh, and you are telling me to enjoy the moment?Give me a break.I was very glad that the movie ended. TV SHOW----//----Movie. I am a common watcher of the re-re-reruns of the Show. After seeing the movie...sadly, reminds me that it has been 15 years (And little more) of the favorite family. But instead of a good memory, it becomes DAMAGED seeing how the humor has been...to this point.Doesn't matter if Simpsons "No1yestheonly1number1"fan club tries to negate this point,but: The Movie Sucked.Watch the Show instead.You actually saved 5 dlls going to see a 1.5 hour episode.
5 Stars because its still watchable for Kids.Except for the PEN** Part(Nude Bart on the Glass). Recommendation for the Next time(if it WILL be a next one): Make Homer LESS Stupid
Starship Troopers (1997)
Shoot bugs and be cheered!Stay still and be Sliced
Impressed. There's only a few movies these days that actually has this "something" of "survival" on a war vs whatever it's out there.
These beings doesn't want to study us(there's just pron and drugs that's worthy for the aliens anyway), they just want to kill the human race! The Cow scene is shocking,visceral and "wow"-ish. Although characters are middle distinguished actors, they are back-grounded once the bloodshed begins. Battles on land and space(well, not exactly a space battle) but the effects and the designs for the ships, bugs and lands are perfect.Quite a variety of bugs.What lacked maybe was variety of weaponry and vehicles for the soldiers.
9/10
Bloodsport (1988)
It's not Bloody, but fit's in the ring
I must say that "the plot" isn't something that you'll care to see; you will wait straight to see the fightings.
I must agree that the storyline is fast paced or kinda forced(Accepted a Student, because of a school fight) No matter what the causes of Frank Dux(Van Damme)to battle,said have deserting the USA army and being pursued, or the fact that a fighter at the tournament(named Comitte) wants to kill you, because he just wants it, forget the reasons.
Focus on the fights. Wide variety of styles, makes me wonder about present movies, that have no martial art style(standing only to street fighting,karate and kung fu styles)those who just shows fancy moves to impress the audience. It's difficult to say if those moves are computer-modified or the real deal.
I'm not saying that Bloodsport impress as Hell, but you can easily recognize one art from another(Even by just seeing the person clothes) Although I'm not convinced that Dux(In real Life) made those victories and records in his life, the movie itself is no-plot, but battle-focused. Enough with the Van Damme Splits,thought.
Material Girls (2006)
I'm not rich, nor i know about cosmetics
If 0 were a valid vote number, it would be great to put a couple to this...movie. First, I'm not the typical guy that just goes to see this kind of movies for the bit**** that appears on the cast(Come on people, you actually do that?), but mostly i see these kind of movies because im bored or because i have nothing else to see on the cinemas..that's the LAST time i will do something so stupid like that. I'm sorry if you are below 15,you're spoiled and rich,dumb blonde,retarded,racist or all of these options and you're still reading this. This movie is...choose whatever word fits for "steaming coil of blonde clichéd crap" I thought nobody actually liked this kind of movies(and only appear to fill the genre) but tough the fact that they keep appearing, I REALLY can't imagine the kind of behavior teen girls will have after seeing this movie. *Common mom, don't make me wear this, is soooooo yesterday!* *OMG, like, it's not trademarked!* *I can't believe you don't change brands...*
Sadly, I'm immune to the Duff's "Magic" because, movies are SUPPOSED to be looked by anyone,not only for the fans(in that case, they should be sold,as direct to video movies). On the other Hand,these kind of movies, don't make a better opinion for them. It's actually more bashing for blonde's (and teens) that they express the dumbness to a exponential level(Women can't do anything,trusts anybody(even local thugs),can't cook,wash,etc). Brainless people who actually defends the Duff's for "Masterpieces" like this, should be more worried about their own problems.Jealousy? For what? What they have done for me to worry about them? These girls KNOW that they can't act.When I see this pair actually doing a movie about...a modest life with REAL troubles(let's say, paying the bills and actually getting a job)with a San Bernardo instead of the Fu**ing Chihuahua,I will smile at them.I thought one Paris was enough.. Two Zeros
The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007)
Be a hero.Save the world.And Don't give a damn about It
Well, I have to say i wasn't expecting much from the movie when I saw the trailer. I wasn't wrong. People should beware when movies of the same genre appear in big numbers; it will mean that at least 3 of 4 will be mediocre,bad or no redeeming value,whatever.
***Spoilers..maybe*** While the "adventure" focus the most part on the "growing" and "surprinsing"(because nobody can actually explain how many powers Will has or how did he get them)of Will Treston, it also points the relationship of him, with his family(BIG family, by the way), and maybe love-wise. Yet, the prophecy from which he was unaware, suddenly takes part over his life, when he mets "The Raider";he pursues Will,with some dogs you wont see again, he babbles something like "Give me the signs" and runs away scared of some people that calls themselves "Old Ones".
Probably, its seems like the "normal" Fantasy-Adventure plot. Boy.Prophecy.Hero.Mission.Some Help.Dangers.Perils.Plot Twist.Final Battle.End...Wow that sounded Like Ocarina of Time. But i was not satisfied by the plot...Will finds the signs...for example,on a Tomb(on the local Church),on her sister birthday present,OK totally unexpected and the SUPER predicted and most obvious sign(The Soul)...but for that, Will didn't even had to walk a mile from his home. His powers...Angered Explosions, "Super Strength"(Sometimes he was a pussy, actually), and Telekinesis( which he didn't care to use it, more than once). But, since all those powers were shitty, many characters actually didn't care to react at them(Will's Sister,Brother) or he was willing to keep them has a secret(Let me tell you a Secret...I have Super Powers). All this...i could easily forget it...but what destroyed me completely...was the "Disco Battle"(Final Fight Between the Old Ones and the Raider)or the Final Fight Between Will and the Raider( The effects of the Light and Dark Energies looked so crappy, a White and Dark Blankets, would have worked better) ************************************ So, Ill give it a 3, because it was not the worst movie i have seen yet...but because of the many plot holes and ...why to put Maggie and Stephen on the promotional poster if they barely acted on the film? Bad advertising