When you leave the room and don't bother to pause the movie... Yeah, it was like that for me. The opening scene at the cabin was great - the way they showed the movie title made me laugh in the best way! I thought that the rest of the movie would follow along but the moment we got into the apartment building I stopped caring. The characters were all super uninteresting - no one got fleshed out enough to care about at all. Just a bunch of stupid people and way too many kids running around manic for the rest of the movie. There were parts that seemed like they were meant to be funny but it all just seemed so heavy handed and forced that I found myself rolling my eyes instead of laughing. I really liked the original Evil Dead and the remake but this just lacked feeling - kind of like the Star Wars sequels. Just a cash grab. If you're in the mood for over the top cg gore with no story or character development, I think you'll enjoy this one. Nothing wrong with that. It just wasn't for me.
Reviews
14 Reviews
House of 9
(2005)
Been there, done that
28 September 2022
Unfortunately the very end was the only good part of this film for me and I'm not sure it was worth the watch to get there. The acting in this was subpar for the most part (although I always enjoy seeing Dennis Hopper) as were the cookie cutter characters doing stupid things. The "music" scenes were way too long and felt so out of place that they really took me out of the movie. The idea is always a good one - strangers waking up in a strange place for some unknown reason - but this one lacked any real "shock" or "wow" factor to make it special (other than a blip at the end). I love this genre of movie so I've seen quite a few that were similar and they all did it better.
The Dark and the Wicked
(2020)
Such a disappointment!
11 November 2020
I'm sorry but this movie was terrible. It was just nothing but these little shock moments followed by slow, boring storyline that didn't even really make sense or even really matter. It just kept dragging on and on and the same things kept happening over and over again. The ending was absolutely a slap in the face. I'm sick of these shock and gore movies with no story and poor character development. If you liked the Saw franchise, you'll probably find this to be a good watch.
Drive
(I) (2011)
Was this supposed to be good?
7 July 2019
I always feel like such a sucker when I watch on of these 'award-winning' movies that turn out to be terrible but I just can't help myself. It took me 8 years to give in to watching this one and I wish I could go back in time and just watch something else. The storyline was almost nonexistent, the music was awful, the dialogue was ridiculously stupid. Gosling hardly spoke at all and when he did he seemed like he had brain damage from all that stunt driving. A few action scenes that were okay which is why I didn't rate this 1 star.
Harmony
(I) (2018)
Surprisingly decent
7 July 2019
Okay, this is not as good as Harry Potter like another review said but it also wasn't total garbage like some others stated. It was like watching a movie based on a teen fantasy/romance novel - reminded me of Mortal Instruments series by Casandra Clare. I thought the actors did a good job and I liked the storyline. There were parts that were a bit odd but I'd watch it again. I would've liked it even more if I was a teen.
X-Men: Dark Phoenix
(2019)
Lackluster
7 July 2019
Phoenix was always my favorite storyline from the X-MEN cartoon growing up but this was not enjoyable at all. Stilted acting, tedious dialogue, and unexciting fight scenes. We fast forwarded through most of the 2nd half and I spent most of that time playing on my phone out of boredom.
Beauty and the Beast
(2014– )
Not cohesive at all!
14 April 2019
This was the most absolutely manic version of Beauty and the Beast I have ever seen. It's like six different people wrote storylines and then they just pieced them all together so that none of the actual story lines made any sense whatsoever. The prince didn't even seem to like Bella until the very end when he was head over heels for some unknown reason. Bella ran away like four or five different times. And the wicked witch cousin of the prince was so ridiculous and unnecessary to the storyline. The romance between Bella and the prince just seemed to be abusive and not very romantic at all. Not a complete waste of time but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who isn't a die-hard fan of Beauty and the Beast stories.
A Star Is Born
(2018)
I don't understand at all
9 March 2019
Absolutely painful to watch. Awkward, bad acting, poor pacing, terrible music. It's just a bunch of random scenes patched together in a manic way that makes everything seem to happen way too fast. And why is Lady Gaga's character so insanely aggressive right off the bat? No chemistry between the actors. Everything just felt so fake. Another movie that people tell you that you HAVE to like even though it's terrible.
We're ALL Jedi Knights! Cool!
19 January 2018
Warning: Spoilers
So it turns out that you don't have to be born into a great Jedi family or really even train at all or read up on the history in order to become a great Jedi. Nope. If you are a cute little girl that dreams big, you get it all for free! That's right, for free. Well wait, you say... don't I need to train hard and study to one day reach my dream of becoming a great Jedi? Don't I need to learn and fail and then learn some more? Not according to this movie. You get to be a Jedi simply because you kind of want to. How cool is that!?!
Ugh! This entire movie was one giant 'eye-roll' moment that I kept hoping would end. Each time something moderately interesting would happen, it would just be written off in the most ridiculous way like it wasn't important at all. I just kept saying "but what was the point of that??" The answer: there isn't a point. And I guess their doesn't have to be one in a Disney RomCom set in space. It's just for the kids anyway. Check out our product placement of cute little Porgs - oh wait, this one is smooshed onto a window - I bet we can sell some with suction cups on them like the Garfield's in the days of old.
Did you like the original Star Wars Trilogy? I'll bet you did! But this movie isn't for you. We're going to take all of the characters you love and deem them as useless! Chewbacca, R2D2, C3PO, Yoda - you'll see all of them!! However, they'll just have some small role that is utterly meaningless to the movie. Do you love Leia? Who doesn't!?! I bet you'd love to see her fly through space like super-man even though she should be dead, right?
The more I think about this movie, the more I hate it. I reject this movie for everything it is and for everything that it isn't. I thought The Force Awakens was a good start to a new Star Wars Trilogy (not perfect by any means but good) but this has made me write off Star Wars for a while. They've gotten too cocky. They think they can hand us utter garbage that makes no sense and we will giggle and clap our hands as they feed it to us. Maybe they're right. Maybe we're all a bunch of idiots hungry for pretty characters and a looping story line that leads to nowhere.
Ugh! This entire movie was one giant 'eye-roll' moment that I kept hoping would end. Each time something moderately interesting would happen, it would just be written off in the most ridiculous way like it wasn't important at all. I just kept saying "but what was the point of that??" The answer: there isn't a point. And I guess their doesn't have to be one in a Disney RomCom set in space. It's just for the kids anyway. Check out our product placement of cute little Porgs - oh wait, this one is smooshed onto a window - I bet we can sell some with suction cups on them like the Garfield's in the days of old.
Did you like the original Star Wars Trilogy? I'll bet you did! But this movie isn't for you. We're going to take all of the characters you love and deem them as useless! Chewbacca, R2D2, C3PO, Yoda - you'll see all of them!! However, they'll just have some small role that is utterly meaningless to the movie. Do you love Leia? Who doesn't!?! I bet you'd love to see her fly through space like super-man even though she should be dead, right?
The more I think about this movie, the more I hate it. I reject this movie for everything it is and for everything that it isn't. I thought The Force Awakens was a good start to a new Star Wars Trilogy (not perfect by any means but good) but this has made me write off Star Wars for a while. They've gotten too cocky. They think they can hand us utter garbage that makes no sense and we will giggle and clap our hands as they feed it to us. Maybe they're right. Maybe we're all a bunch of idiots hungry for pretty characters and a looping story line that leads to nowhere.
Foo Fighters: Back and Forth
(2011)
Well done documentary
9 January 2018
I happened across this documentary on Netflix and I liked Nirvana and the Foo Fighters back in middle and high school so I thought I'd give this a watch. I'm so glad I did! I thought the story was fascinating - I had no idea that so many people had come and gone over the years. This documentary gave me so much respect for the band and really makes me want to see them again (saw them in 1998). I'd recommend this to anyone who even remotely likes a Foo Fighters song or even just anyone who was a teen in the late 90's that likes rock music. A great watch!
Reign
(2013–2017)
I'm not exactly a history buff but come on!
4 December 2017
This show is so historically inaccurate that it's absolutely painful to watch. The glittery, strapless prom gowns that attempt to pass for Tudor clothing in this show are laughable (seriously, the costume designer for the show should be ashamed of themselves).
There was actually a moment in the first episode where Mary and her "ladies" take off their shoes and dance with each other in a circle, giggling all the while, in the middle of a ball room full of people while feathers rain from the ceiling for some reason - and everyone just accepted this as normal behavior from a bunch of well bred teen girls. I just kept thinking to myself, "would this have ever happened in the 1500's?" No. No it wouldn't.
I understand the allure of a strong-minded, fun-loving protagonist for the modern teenage girl but can't we have that without sacrificing the truth of existence for a real woman in the 1500's. And what kind of name is "Bash" anyway? Is he a villain from an 80's movie?
If you are a 15 year old girl, you love man-boys in tight leather pants and eye liner, and you liked the Vampire Diaries then this is the show for you! If you don't fit any of those characteristics - RUN as far away from this show as possible (unless you want a good laugh).
There was actually a moment in the first episode where Mary and her "ladies" take off their shoes and dance with each other in a circle, giggling all the while, in the middle of a ball room full of people while feathers rain from the ceiling for some reason - and everyone just accepted this as normal behavior from a bunch of well bred teen girls. I just kept thinking to myself, "would this have ever happened in the 1500's?" No. No it wouldn't.
I understand the allure of a strong-minded, fun-loving protagonist for the modern teenage girl but can't we have that without sacrificing the truth of existence for a real woman in the 1500's. And what kind of name is "Bash" anyway? Is he a villain from an 80's movie?
If you are a 15 year old girl, you love man-boys in tight leather pants and eye liner, and you liked the Vampire Diaries then this is the show for you! If you don't fit any of those characteristics - RUN as far away from this show as possible (unless you want a good laugh).
XX
(2017)
Not worth the time
25 September 2017
I had read how terrible this anthology was before watching but still decided to give it a chance (you never know). Well, I really liked the 1st short, "The Box." It was strange and suspenseful and well done. The others were absolutely, painfully terrible. Not a great watch overall but check out the first one if you feel so inclined. Skip the rest.
Spring
(I) (2014)
A drug addicts wet dream
28 August 2017
Some okay cgi and pretty scenery. The acting and story was better than Resolution. Although that isn't saying much. Everything else was just drugs and unbelievable moments. I can't believe all the positive reviews. It's like a twenty something man- boy drug addict had a anime-related tentacle poem dream and thought, "I'm going to make a movie about that!" There is some attempt at making it "smart" with all the science garbage but it just doesn't come together.
Alien: Covenant
(2017)
If you liked Alien, you wont like this
5 July 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I will say that I loved the original Alien series, despite some issues with the later sequels. I thought Prometheus was okay - gorgeous cinematography, some well done CG, an okay plot, riddled with some terribly stupid moments. I had some (but not altogether high) hopes for this sequel.
The first 30 minutes or so was interesting. The moment the creature reared its horribly rendered little body, I couldn't stop laughing. Did someone actually watch this movie and approve of the terrible CG before it went to theaters? No amount of homoerotic flute playing or deadly shower sex sequences could make this work. Oh wait, they actually tried all of that! It honestly felt like I was watching a B-horror, made for Syfy network piece of garbage. I'd rather watch Sharknado.
The first 30 minutes or so was interesting. The moment the creature reared its horribly rendered little body, I couldn't stop laughing. Did someone actually watch this movie and approve of the terrible CG before it went to theaters? No amount of homoerotic flute playing or deadly shower sex sequences could make this work. Oh wait, they actually tried all of that! It honestly felt like I was watching a B-horror, made for Syfy network piece of garbage. I'd rather watch Sharknado.
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